


Trouble

by LyricalKris



Series: Trouble [1]
Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: BDSM, Bondage, Drama, Kink, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-04
Updated: 2015-08-27
Packaged: 2018-02-28 02:45:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 105,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2716031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LyricalKris/pseuds/LyricalKris
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carlisle should have known Edward Masen was trouble. He was smart, beautiful, cheeky, and a sub in need of a dom with a firm hand, which Carlisle just happened to be. He was also very young, an intern and Carlisle was his attending. Trouble indeed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Capricorn75](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Capricorn75/gifts), [myonlyheroin](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=myonlyheroin).



**Summary: Carlisle should have known Edward Masen was trouble. He was smart, beautiful, cheeky, and a sub in need of a dom with a firm hand, which Carlisle just happened to be. He was also very young, an intern and Carlisle was his attending. Trouble indeed.**

**WARNING: The following story is a BDSM story. I don’t think it’s squidgy or extreme, but if there’s anything BDSM-y that you have a hard time with, PLEASE feel free to ask me. I will happily tell you if I plan to incorporate those elements into the story at any point. I’ll also be happy to talk things out if you have questions.**

**A/N: Welp. I don’t know. I just don’t know. Once upon a time, I was adamant Carlisle Cullen, the epitome of a father figure in my eyes, had to be sexless. SURELY sex and that man could never go together. The thought itself was too profane.**

**Now he’s gone all dom on me and I cannot. I HAS COMPLETELY LOST THE ABILITY TO CAN.**

**Ahem.**

**This is dedicated to myonlyheroin and capricorn75, because it’s mostly their fault, and to Packy and the others who were a very bad influence.**

**SHOUTY CAPS DEDICATION TO BARBURELLA who reminds me she’s been begging for C/E for literal years and I hath refused her. Baby, you are my everything, and I love you.**

* * *

There were times Carlisle thought Edward Masen was flirting with him. He would stand a little too close or look at him from under his eyelashes with a smirk on his face that Carlisle wanted to kiss right off him.

 

Among other things.

 

More than once, he’d had to remind himself it wasn’t something he should think about. Edward, fresh from medical school, was his intern and Carlisle his attending.

 

Besides that, despite a few somewhat arrogant tendencies, Edward was a delight to have as a student. He was very smart, eager to learn, and had all the makings of a good doctor. And he looked up to Carlisle. He wasn’t about to abuse that.

 

Apparently, though, Edward had his own ideas.

 

About four months into their acquaintance, they found themselves alone in the employee lounge on a relatively quiet night. Carlisle was a little surprised when Edward came in and sat, not in any of the empty seats, but on the couch right next to him. Still, he didn’t think much of it until Edward exhaled in a gust and said, “So.”

 

“So,” Carlisle said, somewhat bemused. He never could tell what was going on in the young man’s head.

 

Edward swallowed hard, crossing his arms over his chest and staring at the ceiling. “I was at a party last week.”

 

Carlisle leaned back against the couch, getting more comfortable, letting his eyelids droop. It had been a long shift. “Really? Well, I’m sure it must have been fun.”

 

“It was.” Another barely audible gulp. “It was a play party.”

 

Carlisle’s heart skipped a beat.

 

Before he could think of anything to say, Edward went on. “Met a guy there. Garrett Damon.”

 

Carlisle’s eyes flew open, and his throat closed off. He knew Garrett Damon. Intimately.

 

Of course he did, seeing as the man had been Carlisle’s last submissive.

 

“We had a good time, and we talked. About you.”

 

Carlisle remembered to breathe and inhaled loudly.

 

Edward rolled over slightly, propping himself up on one arm to look at Carlisle with lust in his eyes. “He said you were the only one he would sub for.” He leaned in, his voice dropping to a low, sexy rumble. “I would for you. In a fucking heartbeat.”

 

Carlisle barely caught a low groan in his mouth. His heart was threatening to hammer right out of his chest. This was so beyond inappropriate.

 

And he was way too turned on.

 

He had to swallow several times before he was sure his voice was steady enough to speak. “You know I’m old enough to be your father.”

 

He was, too. Technically.

 

But it wasn’t an ‘I’m not interested,’ and Edward knew it. His lopsided grin was so damn victorious Carlisle almost groaned again. Fuck him running, the young man was sexy as hell, and he was well aware of it, too.

 

“You don’t strike me as the teenage father type,” Edward said, all his arrogance back in full effect.

 

To Carlisle’s shock, the young man moved to straddle him. He leaned in close. “But if you want to be my daddy, I’m down for that. I’ll be such a good boy for you.”

 

And with that, Edward Masen kissed him.

 

What Carlisle should have done was push the other man off of him. This was inappropriate for so many reasons, not the least of which was that they were in the lounge. The on-call room was a little more action-appropriate, but this was completely unacceptable. He needed to stop it. Immediately.

 

But what Carlisle actually did was kiss Edward back. Hard. Deep. And he grabbed his ass as he did it, thrilled, and turned on, and--

 

Footsteps in the hall had Edward rolling off him at the same time Carlisle pushed him away. Carlisle stood up, adjusting his labcoat around him, and walking away so fast, he didn’t even notice who’d walked into the lounge.

 

He didn’t stop until he was in the safety of his car, and then he hyperventilated a little, trying to calm down.

 

Something had to be done, and it couldn’t wait. He was horny as hell, but as his rational thought returned to him, he was getting well and truly pissed off.

 

How fucking dare this kid?

 

He was angry and, at first, a little scared. The staff at the hospital knew he was gay, but he was pretty damn adamant about the fact it was no one’s business that he had an impressive array of restraints, plugs, and paddles, among other things, and an in depth knowledge of how to use them.

 

As he calmed, he realized that while he wasn’t quite sure what to think about this new development, he did trust Edward to be discreet about his proclivities. He thought he knew Edward’s nature. Maybe he was arrogant and a touch spoiled, but he wasn’t a vindictive asshole.

 

Could he take a hint, though? He was just a little bit spoiled. Nothing obnoxious, but Carlisle had been able to tell from early on that he was used to getting his way, and he was stubborn. There was no guarantee he wouldn’t try again, seeing as Carlisle was more than a little interested.

 

But it couldn’t happen like this. It shouldn’t happen at all, but he couldn’t risk another incident at work.

 

What then? Should he report this? Was it his duty to report it?

 

No, he’d given up the right and ability to report Edward when he kissed him back and groped his ass like some horny teenager. Besides, this hospital was the only one in the area currently accepting interns. Edward was younger than most interns. Early twenties were for making mistakes. Edward showed every sign of becoming a brilliant doctor. There was no reason to affect his career like this because he hadn’t thought things through well enough. Carlisle wasn’t vindictive either.

 

What then?

 

There was one way Carlisle could figure to take control of the situation, and that was to take control of the situation. Edward had said he was more than willing.

 

Carlisle banged his head against his steering wheel, instantly hard at the mere thought.

 

He straightened up, taking out his phone. He breathed in through his nose and out again, wondering if he was really going to do this. He wanted to. Good god, how he wanted to.

 

With a growl at himself, he sent a quick text to Edward’s personal number with his address.

 

He waited, his heart pounding, and he still jumped when a text came through.

 

**Be there in forty, Daddy.**

 

Carlisle let out his breath in a gust and rested his head against the headrest, staring up at the ceiling of the car. He hoped he wasn’t going to regret this.

**~0~**

By the time Edward knocked on his door, Carlisle was ready. He was clad only in his low hanging jeans, and he was rewarded for his choice when Edward groaned at the sight of him.

  
“Jesus Christ, you’re fucking hot,” he said.

 

Carlisle could have said the same for Edward. The young man was obviously freshly showered, his hair still damp, and he’d changed into jeans and a black t-shirt.

 

Fuckhot, as the kids would say.

 

Instead of telling him this, Carlisle grabbed him by his shirt, hauling him inside and closing the door a split second before he slammed Edward up against it. He kissed him, swallowing Edward’s startled yelp. Edward was responsive to him despite his surprise and kissed him back, his hands going to Carlisle’s waist and his mouth opening to his tongue. Since he had no idea how the rest of the night was going to play out, given what he had resolved to do, Carlisle allowed himself the satisfaction of grinding his hips against Edward’s.

 

But when Edward moved his hands to his ass, Carlisle broke the kiss and took a step backward. He almost smiled at Edward’s dazed expression, but somehow, he managed to keep a stern look on.

 

He cleared his throat. “Before any of that, we need to address your disrespectful behavior.”

 

Edward blinked at him, still a little slow on the uptake, before he smiled. He turned around, bracing himself on the door and wagging his ass tauntingly at Carlisle. “You going to spank me, daddy? Do you want to take me over your knee?”

 

He did. He wanted to feel his hand against Edward’s bare skin, wanted to feel the boy wriggling and writhing on his lap, feel his hardened cock rubbing against him. But he couldn’t. Edward obviously wasn’t taking this very seriously, and Carlisle needed him to. There was a definite point he needed to get across.

 

There was a huge difference between a sexual, sensual spanking and a punishment spanking. The lines had to be clear right up front.

 

So he picked up his folded over belt from where he’d laid it on the end table and brought it down on Edward’s jean-clad behind. Hard.

 

“Ow. Shit. Jesus.” Edward stared at Carlisle, obviously surprised, but his smile didn’t falter for long. He grinned again. “You like it rough. That’s--” He cut off in a yelp when Carlisle hit him again.

 

Certain that he had Edward’s attention, Carlisle took a purposeful step backward, letting the belt hang limp from his hand. This was one of the reasons Carlisle didn’t do spontaneous scenes. It was often difficult to navigate before he and his partner had had a long, in-depth conversation about limits and rules. Consent was not a grey area, and it was far too easy to manipulate a sub into something they didn’t want to do in a sub/dom situation.

 

“Listen to me very carefully,” he said, keeping his tone even. “Your… attraction is very much requited, but your method of getting my attention was absolutely unacceptable. If you agree that you’ve been a very bad boy and deserve to be punished, I will happily oblige you. If you don’t agree,” - he gestured at the door- “then you’re welcome to reconsider. My door is always unlocked.”

 

He paused, watching the expression on Edward’s face for confusion or worse, fear. He was rubbing his ass, his expression tight but neither of those things. It didn’t escape Carlisle’s notice that the boy’s breath was quick and his jeans were tented.

 

He raised his belt then, smacking it once against his palm, smiling inwardly when Edward’s face flushed and he jumped a little. Carlisle could see he’d gotten his point across. If Edward stayed, he knew he was facing true punishment before they got down to any serious pleasure.

 

Edward took a deep breath, dropped his gaze to his feet and clasped his hands in front of him in the picture of penitence. “I’m sorry, Daddy.”

 

Carlisle had to press his tongue against the roof of his mouth to keep from moaning. His cock jumped in his pants. Business first, he told himself. What he wanted most was to bend Edward over the couch and bury himself deep inside him. That was what he’d been fantasizing about for months now, but his sub’s needs came first. Always. “I suspect you’ll be very sorry shortly.”

 

He took Edward by the arm and led him to the foot of the stairway. His stairs were wide and open toward the bottom. Plenty of room to maneuver. Carlisle positioned Edward facing away from him, toward the stairs. Then he stepped back.

 

“Get those jeans down.”

 

Edward took another deep breath and started to toe off his shoes.

 

“Stop.” Edward stopped. “I didn’t tell you to take off your shoes. I said get your jeans down. You need to follow instructions.”

 

“Sorry.”

 

“Sorry, sir,” Carlisle said.

 

“Yes, sir. Sorry, sir.” Edward let his jeans puddle at his feet.

 

Carlisle smiled. Edward had left his boxers up, not as protection, he’d bet, but because he was now following Carlisle’s instructions to the letter. Good boy.

 

He stepped up behind Edward, setting the belt down on the stairs in front of him, and stroked his fingers through the boy’s soft hair. Edward jolted a bit at the touch but otherwise didn’t move. Carlisle pet him for two reasons. The first was to let anticipation build. That was, he knew from experience, often the worst part of punishment--waiting for it. It had the effect of focusing the offender’s attention.

 

The second reason was maybe more important. A sub should understand at all times that whatever was being done was being done for them, for their pleasure or, in this case, their own good. Carlisle wasn’t about to punish Edward because it gave him pleasure to bring him pain.

 

It wasn’t a turn off by any stretch of the imagination, but that was beside the point.

 

Carlisle moved his hand down Edward’s back, still petting, feeling the sharp rise and fall of his shoulders. Then, when he felt neither of them could take anymore, he hooked his finger into the waistband of his boxers and pulled them down to join his jeans. Edward gasped, but he didn’t say anything.

 

Reaching past him, Carlisle picked up the belt again. “I think what you did tonight merits a proper whooping, and that’s what I intend to give you. You’re more than old enough to know better, and I expect better of you than what you showed me tonight. Do you understand?”

 

Edward swallowed hard. “Yes, sir.”

 

“I’m not going to stop if you beg me to stop. I expect you’ll probably do so. Loudly. I absolutely will stop if you say ‘red,’ but otherwise, we won’t continue on with our evening unless I’m satisfied you’ve been properly punished. Do you understand that?”

 

“Yes, sir.” Edward glanced at him out of the corner of his eyes, his breath still quick, but a small smile playing at his lips. “I’m ready for my punishment, sir.”

 

Carlisle had to fight a grin. Cheeky asshole, trying to get the lecture over with. Tough luck on that one, since he wasn’t nearly done. But it quelled any remaining fear Carlisle had that he was unwilling about what was about to happen. “As you wish. Bend over and put your hands on the stairs. Get that ass out.”

 

Edward obeyed quickly. Giving in to temptation, Carlisle caressed his ass. It was a great ass, nice and round and pleasing under his hand. “Very good,” he said, and then he stepped back.

 

He got straight to work, bringing the belt down on Edward’s exposed ass with enough force to make it clear he meant business. Edward cried out at the first strike, but he didn’t stand or otherwise try to escape his punishment.

 

Oh, yes. He was very good. He wasn’t new to this as Carlisle had feared.

 

So, keeping up a steady tempo of smacks, Carlisle began to lecture again. “What you did today was completely unacceptable. You work in the medical field. You deal with people’s lives. Your professionalism should not be compromised by your desire under any circumstances. Is that clear?”

 

Edward wiggled, bending his knees and straightening out again. “Ow. Fuck. Y-yes. Yes, sir. I’m sorry, sir.”

 

Carlisle picked up the pace but not the strength of his blows. “This isn’t because you could have embarrassed me. This is something you need to learn. This is your reputation and your career. That’s not something you should play with.”

 

It was getting noticeably harder for Edward to hold his position. His ass colored beautifully. It was quickly turning a deep red tint. “I’m sorry,” he said, his voice much smaller now than Carlisle had ever heard. “Ow, shit. I’m sorry. Please.”

 

“You think you’ve learned your lesson?” Carlisle asked, bringing the belt down hard once. Twice.

 

“Christ! Yes. I’m sorry. I won’t do it again. Fuck, I promise.”

 

Such a delightfully filthy mouth. Carlisle brought the belt down across his ass with bruising force three times, making Edward jump and cry out with each one. Then he tossed the belt to the side and took Edward’s arm, pulling him up and into a hug.

 

Edward wrapped his arms around Carlisle’s waist, instantly burying his head against his chest. He trembled, his breath ragged, but he wasn’t crying. That was telling, Carlisle thought as he pressed a comforting kiss to the top of Edward’s head. Part of punishment was the release, the catharsis. It was something they would address if Edward was his sub.

 

But that thought could wait for later.

 

For now, Carlisle rubbed Edward’s back shushing him. “Shh, all over now. You’re so good, Edward. Very, very good. You took your punishment very well. I’m proud of you.” He rubbed his hands over Edward’s ass, making him hiss. Carlisle groaned. “Your ass is so hot.”

 

Edward huffed against him. “Yeah, no shit.”

 

Chuckling, Carlisle kissed Edward when he lifted his head. Carlisle groaned again, this time into Edward’s mouth. The boy’s kiss was fervent, and any fear Carlisle had that he’d gone too far with him vanished in an instant. He could feel Edward’s cock rock hard against his belly as they kissed.

 

Now, Carlisle let desire take him.

 

He broke their kiss and moved his mouth to Edward’s ear. “You want me to fuck you, Edward?”

 

“Yes. God, now. Please.” Edward made to take a step but quickly tripped over his puddle of jeans, falling heavily into Carlisle’s arms.

 

“Now you can take your shoes off,” he said with a laugh.

 

“Hey, thanks,” Edward said, holding on to Carlisle’s arms to steady himself as he kicked his shoes, pants, and boxers away.

 

Carlisle took his hand, leading him up the stairs to his room. Once he got in the door, he turned Edward again to him, pulling his shirt up and off before he pulled him into a rough kiss. Edward matched him easily, kissing him between little moans and whimpers, the latter probably having to do with the way Carlisle couldn’t stop squeezing his very well punished ass. “You should let me take care of this. I have some salve--”

 

Edward shook his head. “I’m fine. I need you now.” He’d unbuttoned Carlisle’s jeans, tugging at them.

 

When they were both undressed, Carlisle took Edward’s earlobe in his mouth, nibbling. “Lay face down on the bed,” he said.

 

Edward pulled back a bit, smirking. “You’re not going to beat my ass again, are you?”

 

“Tempting. You can be a little shit sometimes, Masen. But no. There are other things I want to do to your ass tonight.”

 

“Thank Christ,” Edward said, flopping face down on the bed with a jaunty little bounce that made Carlisle’s cock twitch. He turned his head to the side, watching as Carlisle rummaged through his nightstand drawer for condoms and lube. “I am sorry about work, by the way. I know that was a dumbshit thing to do. It’s just you’re so fucking hot, and after I talked to Garrett about you and this, I couldn’t even think straight.”

 

“Yes, well, I’ve often thought you could benefit from a sound spanking or seventy.” He leaned forward to kiss Edward sweetly once. “But don’t apologize.” He gave Edward’s ass a playful smack, making him gasp. “You’ve paid the price, and you’re forgiven.” He kissed him again, more seriously this time. “And I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about having you in my bed before.”

 

He sat on the edge of the bed then and poured a generous amount of lube over his fingers. Edward clenched and sucked in a breath when Carlisle’s hand brushed over his tender skin, but he relaxed again when he drew a finger down his ass crack, spreading the lube. He worked one finger, then another into Edward’s tight hole, feeling an electric jolt of pleasure that went straight to his cock every time Edward made a little noise at the back of his throat.

 

“It’s so good to have you here like this. Good god, you’re beautiful, Edward.”

 

Edward’s response was a deep moan, and he pushed back against Carlisle’s hand. “Need you to take me now. Please. Please, I’ve wanted it for so long.”

 

“You ready for me?” Carlisle asked, working two fingers inside him.

 

“Yes. Please. Now.”

 

“Bossy bottom,” Carlisle murmured, leaning down to press a kiss to the hot skin of Edward’s ass.

 

He stood and moved to the foot of the bed, pulling Edward toward him. He laughed at Edward’s startled cry. “Kneel at the edge, and rest your chest on the bed.”

 

It would have been hilarious how quickly Edward obeyed if it wasn’t so damn sexy. Carlisle grabbed the condom from where he’d laid it, ripped it open and rolled it on, unable to wait any longer himself to be inside Edward.

 

“Holy Christ,” Carlisle moaned, watching inch by inch of him disappear into Edward’s tight, hot little hole.

 

“You’re so fucking thick,” Edward groaned, his words muffled slightly as he had his face turned into a pillow which he appeared to be grasping for dear life. His back arched a bit at Carlisle’s slide.

 

“Is this okay? Are you okay?” Carlisle asked, stilling though it was the last thing he wanted to do.

 

Edward gave a shaky laugh. “This is amazing. Keep going. Fill me up.”

 

Sweet mother of pearl, this man was going to be the end of him.

 

This wasn’t going to take long for either of them. That much was clear almost instantly. Carlisle could have come from listening to Edward’s moans alone. Still, wanting to make sure Edward was sated first, when they’d gotten a comfortable rhythm going, Carlisle took hold of his cock as he fucked him.

 

“You like this baby?” he asked, keeping his free hand at Edward’s waist, steadying him.

 

“Yes. Yes. Fuck, yes.”

 

“Are you going to come for me?”

 

Edward whimpered, a moan of pure pleasure as Carlisle’s balls slapped against his ass. “Yeah. Like that. Please. Harder. Yes.”

 

He came hard, pulsing in Carlisle’s hand, screaming his name.

 

When he was spent, Carlisle moved both hands to his hips, digging his fingers into his skin, pulling him back toward him, slamming into him once, twice, three times before his own release was triggered.

 

So good. Better than he’d had in a long time, and he told Edward so as he flopped down on his back on the bed, discarding the tied off condom in the wastebasket by the nightstand.

 

Edward was breathing as hard as he was. He crawled up the bed so he could lay beside Carlisle, on his belly. He looked at him through hooded eyes and grinned. “Yeah, well, you’re not so bad yourself, old man.”

 

Carlisle rolled his eyes and leaned in to kiss Edward. A slow, sensual kiss that left the younger man sighing in contentment.

 

Edward looked sleepy when they pulled back, so lovely. Carlisle ran his fingers through his hair until he made a face. “What is it?” Carlisle asked.

 

“If you still want to put salve on my ass, I’d appreciate it.”

 

Carlisle moved instantly to get the cooling salve. Edward let out a loud groan the instant it hit his skin, and his whole body relaxed.

 

“You really mark beautifully,” Carlisle said, rubbing the salve in with gentle hands, admiring the deep red with a splotch of purple here and there.

 

Edward scoffed, resting his head on his folded arms. “So I’ve been told.” He wiggled, readjusting himself. “It’ll look better in the morning,” he said with an air of nonchalance.

 

Carlisle hummed his agreement.

 

“Can I stay tonight?” Edward asked, his tone just the slightest bit shy.

 

“Of course.” Neither of them worked tomorrow, and there were things to discuss. Carlisle leaned in to press a kiss between Edward’s shoulder blades before he lay his head on the pillow beside him. “Do you need anything?”

 

Edward shook his head and scooted in a bit. Not cuddling, just closer. He yawned. “I’m good. I’m really, really good.”

 

Inclined to agree with that, Carlisle rubbed his back until he fell asleep.

* * *

**A/N: Many thanks to my hand-holding team//enablers, Packy2.0, myonlyheroin, angelycdevil, and barburella. Specific, huge thanks to Capricorn75 because I legit would have still been on the floor in a ball if she hadn’t been so patient with my endless litany of “WHAT IF” Thanks to jessypt and songster, my poor songster who may be on the floor with me before this is over.**

**So... uh. Hi?**

 

 


	2. The Morning After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Zermg. I still can’t believe I’m doing this. *minor freak out*. But uh, those of you who are along for the ride... I’m glad you’re here.

Whatever the opposite of a rude awakening was, that was how Edward woke. Someone was caressing him with great care and tenderness. They ran fingers through his hair and traced the shell of his ear. Edward sighed, still mostly asleep, but he remembered where he was.

Oh, hell. He’d seduced his attending. No. He’d jumped his attending. With surprising success.

Edward had been attracted to the man from the moment they met. Carlisle Cullen wasn’t exactly difficult to look at. The fact Edward had seen him at the hospital’s employee gym, well-toned arms and legs on full display, hadn’t helped matters.

It was everything else that had pushed Edward’s attraction to a full-blown desire. The man was an artist with a scalpel. Observing him these last four months, Edward couldn’t think of many people he admired more.

Carlisle had moved his hands by then to Edward’s shoulders and began kneading. Edward was gradually returning to his senses, though he kept his eyes closed, not quite ready to be awake and active. He did let out appreciative groans as Carlisle worked.

Of course, the more awake he came, the more aware he was of other sensations.

At the dull ache that still radiated from his backside, Edward felt a rush of residual shame. Jumping his attending at work, in the open, wasn’t his best move ever. Thinking about it now, he understood only too well how bad it could have been for him, for Carlisle, or for both of them. In hindsight, it was crystal clear what a truly stupid choice he’d made in the heat of the moment.

Of course, there wasn’t much quite as effective at sharpening his vision as having his butt blistered in consequence. Holy Christ, Carlisle didn’t fuck around either. For a man with a reputation for having the gentlest bedside manner in the hospital, Carlisle knew his way around the business end of a belt. Garrett had warned him, but Edward hadn’t really believed it until that first terrible thwack and he was sure his ass was on fire. Carlisle hadn’t gone easy on him.

Then again, Edward was fairly certain the man hadn’t been as hard as he could have. That was a sobering thought, and a good reason to be a good little boy for the rest of his life. Holy crap.

Not that it hadn’t driven Edward out of his mind with desire. Seeing that side of Carlisle, Edward had the dramatic thought that if he was rebuffed at that point, he would have begged. Shamelessly. On his knees. Crying.

But Carlisle hadn’t denied him, and now he was working his way down Edward’s back, adding fantastic masseur to the ever-growing list of good personality traits.

When Carlisle’s questing hand neared his tender ass, Edward tensed, eliciting a chuckle from the older man. “Have you been a bad little boy in the six hours you’ve been asleep? Surely not even you are that talented.”

“That depends,” Edward said, giving his rump a little wiggle and smirking over his shoulder.

“On?”

“On if you really believe it’s the thought that counts.”

Carlisle shook his head. “You have no sense of self-preservation at all, do you?”

Edward yawned, unconcerned. “I have the next two days off. I don’t need to sit down for a while. I can just lie here, ass up.”

He saw the color rise to Carlisle’s cheek, his eyes darkening at the thought. “You’re playing with fire, little one. Now turn over.”

Edward made a face. “Maybe the whole ass-up part of my plan went over your head.”

Carlisle stood, his hands on his hips, and somehow managed to look stern even though he was very, very naked. “You really want to keep pushing me?” He reached out, giving Edward’s ass a sharp smack that had him grimacing even though he’d been expecting it. “I guarantee you, if I have to take you over my knee when your ass looks like this, you’re going to enjoy it a hell of a lot less than what I had planned for you.”

A tendril of anticipation and the most delicious kind of fear curled right at the base of Edward’s cock. He pushed his lower lip out in a pout, but he rolled over, wincing only a little, and that was mostly for show.

Carlisle smiled. “Was that so hard?”

“Not yet,” Edward said, glancing down at his still flaccid cock.

“Hmm.” Carlisle ignored that. “Give me your hand.”

Edward obeyed and watched, curious and getting increasingly excited--so hard indeed--as Carlisle used leather cuffs to shackle him, arms spread wide, to the headboard. Edward wondered momentarily how many people Carlisle had tied to his bed and quickly pushed that thought away, surprised at the rush of jealousy.

“Oh, holy fuck,” Edward muttered under his breath when Carlisle moved down the bed and began to similarly secure his right leg to the bed post.

“You know,” Carlisle said, his tone conversational, as though he tied people spread-eagle to beds on a daily basis. “You should stop me if you’re uncomfortable.”

Edward had to laugh, but it was a thin kind of noise. “Yeah, see, the shaking you’re probably talking about is actually what they call quivering in anticipation.” He was babbling, but he couldn’t seem to stop, not when his toes were curling. Bravado was a bitch sometimes. “I’ve got a firm grasp of the whole yellow, red concept. We’re green. Green, green, green. I don’t mind being at your mercy. In fact--”

He was cut off when Carlisle put a hand to his mouth. Edward realized then he was breathing hard. Carlisle’s lips were pressed into a bemused grin. He lifted his hand from Edward’s mouth and put a finger to his own. “Shh,” he said.

Edward banged his head back against the pillow and waited.

And waited.

He watched as Carlisle simply stood, his eyes roaming Edward’s body inch by inch. It was incredible the way he could feel it, almost as though he had touched him. Almost. His skin ached for it.

When Carlisle’s tongue darted out, licking his bottom lip as if Edward were a juicy morsel he was about to devour, Edward’s mind kicked into overdrive. He started to imagine the million different things the other man could do while he was trussed up and helpless like this. Would he straddle Edward’s chest and push his thick cock past Edward’s lips? Or maybe he had a flogger nearby, and he would rain little smacks on his belly, his thighs. Or he might make Edward watch as he stroked his own cock, not letting him touch or be touched until he came in hot, sticky strings all over his chest.

Edward squirmed, tugging at his binds. His skin tingled, and he was sure he was about to spontaneously combust, but Carlisle only tilted his head, letting his eyes drift lower. Lower. Yes, right there. “Please,” Edward said, the word strangled.

Carlisle’s eyes traveled back up his body. “Please what?”

Edward groaned. “I don’t even know. Just please. You’re driving me crazy.”

“That’s just silly. I’m standing right here minding my own business.”

“Fuck,” Edward hissed through his teeth. “Are you punishing me for something?”

Carlisle crossed his arms, returning to his eyes-only molestation scheme. Asshole. “Believe me, if I was punishing you, you’d be well aware of it.”

What he wanted to do was whimper. What he tried to do was persevere, resolving to wait until Carlisle made his play.

Or not. Not was an equally good plan. “Fuck, please.”

“Please what?” Carlisle repeated, an infuriatingly cocky grin tugging at the corner of his mouth.

“Anything! I’m submissive, remember? You’re supposed to tell me what happens next.”

Carlisle was on the bed and hovering over him so quickly, Edward gasped. He held his breath, disconcerted to find the other man’s face a bare inch from his, his body so close he could feel his heat. Still he wasn’t touching him, and the tingle beneath Edward’s skin got exponentially worse.

“Is this what you want?” Carlisle asked, and he brushed his lips against Edward’s, just the barest hint of a touch.

Edward whined, the sound catching at the back of his throat. He swallowed hard and tilted his head up, but Carlisle only moved back a fraction of an inch. “Please,” he said again.

Carlisle leaned in and kissed him then. A hard kiss, and Edward couldn’t help but arch his whole body up into it; finally, finally filling his desperate need for contact. He kissed back hungrily, and he whimpered when Carlisle broke the kiss. But he didn’t pull away, instead kissing a line to Edward’s ear. When he spoke, his voice was a low rumble. “I’m going to see how much of you I can taste before you come.”

Edward’s body shook, and he made a little mewling noise that would have been embarrassing under other circumstances. As it was, he didn’t care. He just didn’t care, not when Carlisle had begun licking and nipping at his neck. “Oh, god.”

He tried to distract himself at first, muttering inane things about how this was some bizarre form of torture, and oh my god it was hot, and jesus, yes, that was good, so good. But he cut off abruptly when Carlisle’s hand brushed up his body and he started to roll Edward’s nipple between his fingers, squeezing and pulling.

That was when Edward gave himself over to the sensation. The sucking and licking. The drag of Carlisle’s teeth over his skin. Carlisle worked his way down, replacing his fingers with his mouth at Edward’s nipples. Lick. Bite. Tug. All while his hands caressed and tickled. Edward writhed, pulling uselessly at his restraints, helpless but to take whatever Carlisle gave him.

Carlisle had only barely begun to trace the space between Edward’s balls and the base of his cock with the tip of his finger when Edward lost it. He came, his whole body seizing with the strength of it.

“What the fuck?” Edward whispered once he’d caught his breath enough to speak.

Stroking a strand of sweaty hair away from his face, Carlisle smiled and kissed him. “You liked that?”

“Uhh yeah.” He was still a little stuck on stupid.

“Good.” Carlisle patted his cheek. He sat up, and undid the binds on Edward’s legs and then his hands. He rubbed Edward’s wrists to soothe the minor chafing. “Get cleaned up, and I’ll make us something to eat.”

Edward licked his lips, looking down at Carlisle’s lap. “Do you want me to--”

Carlisle put finger to his lips, hushing him. “I’m fine,” he said with a small smile. “You can take a shower if you want.” He leaned in for one more kiss before he moved for the door, pulling a robe on as he did.

It shouldn’t have surprised him that Carlisle had, at some point after Edward had gotten up once to pee and before he’d started whatever the hell had just happened, laid out towels and a clean robe in the bathroom. He showered, reluctantly washing the scent of sex and his mentor from his skin, and then made his way downstairs, following the delicious smell of breakfast.

Carlisle had replaced one of the chair’s cushions with a pillow, and he winked as he gestured to it. “Sit,” he said. “We need to talk.”

Edward’s stomach twisted. Of course he’d known it was coming, but this wasn’t a conversation he wanted to have. He was somewhat distracted by the feast in front of him--eggs, pancakes, bacon, fresh orange juice.

It occurred to him then that he was ravenous, and it was all he could do to keep from inhaling his breakfast like some kind of savage. Still, he ate greedily, but when he looked up, he could see Carlisle was pleased that he was enjoying his meal.

“So,” Carlisle said, as always getting down to business without delay. “You’re not new to the scene.”

It wasn’t a question, but Edward recognized the request for him to fill in the blanks easily enough. He took a long drink of his orange juice before he answered. “I’ve only been, uh… collared, once. By the first one, the man who helped me figure out who I was and what I needed. His name’s Benjamin, and it was a good experience.” He was long used to reciting this story, giving the basics so his partner would feel comfortable enough in the knowledge that Edward might have been young, but he wasn’t green. “Since then, I dabble. Only because I haven’t had time to think about any kind of long-term relationship.” He smirked. “Medical school, you know?”

“Oh, I have some idea,” Carlisle said. His expression softened. “What do you want from me, Edward?”

Edward didn’t miss the emphasis on the word want. Whatever he wanted, it didn’t mean he was going to get it. He looked down at his plate. He thought about giving some smart ass answer, but he couldn’t. Not when Carlisle had been so good to him. Edward had been with several good doms, but this whole experience was beyond all of that. Maybe it was because it was more personal, Edward having worked with him so intimately, but he tended to think it was more likely that it was because it was Carlisle. He’d brought his characteristic compassion with him into everything they’d done, and the least Edward owed him was honesty. “I really didn’t think that far ahead. I like you. Like you, like you,” he said, blushing furiously. “But I tried not to think about it for all the reasons you, uh, listed, last night.” He shifted in his seat just in case Carlisle hadn’t figured out what he was talking about.

“Then when I figured out how Garrett knew you, I couldn’t turn it off like before. It’s not an excuse, I know. I should have had more control than to let my fantasies run away with me.”

He jumped a bit when Carlisle reached across the table to caress his hair. It was strange, how very tender the man was. That wasn’t something Edward was used to at all, and he had to stop himself from tilting his head into Carlisle’s hand.

“We had a few intense moments, you and I,” Carlisle said, a small smile playing at his lips. “I felt that too. You’re very attuned to your own instincts, Edward, and you don’t usually hesitate in going with a gut feeling. It’s part of what will make you a good doctor. You just need to learn tact. There’s a time and place for certain things.” He looked Edward in the eyes. “Obviously, you weren’t wrong about the fact there’s a mutual attraction between us.”

The heat in Edward’s cheeks intensified, and he couldn’t fight a smile. It was ridiculous that he felt so shy in that moment, but he did. He couldn’t help ducking his head.

“But how do you feel now? What do you want now?” Carlisle asked, his tone still soft.

Edward chewed his food, considering the question for a long time before he answered. “I don’t want to say I wish you weren’t my attending, because that’s not true.” Again, he beat back the urge to be coy and sexy. Now was the time for seriousness, and he was more than capable of that too. “I don’t think I’ve made a secret of how grateful I’ve been to be able to work with you. You’re a better surgeon and a better person than the department head, and I respect you.” He took a steadying breath, trying not to let his conflicting emotions get the better of him. No need for all that. “Personally, I wish you were anyone but my attending right now. After last night, if you were anyone else, I’d ask you if I could see you again. But I have this feeling you’re going to give me the ‘this can never happen again’ speech.”

Carlisle’s lip twitched, and he looked away briefly before he looked up at Edward. “You understand why, don’t you?”

Edward understood, but he couldn’t speak around the lump that had risen to his throat. That was stupid. Since Benjamin, he hadn’t been with anyone more than a night or two. This wasn’t any different.

“For the record, I feel exactly the same,” Carlisle said, putting a hand on Edward’s knee under the table. “About everything. You’re bright, Edward, and you’ve accomplished a lot at a very young age. I admire you, and that’s why it’s important to me that we don’t do anything to jeopardize your career. It would be different if there was room to move you, but there’s not. I’m the only one taking surgical interns, and I know there was a lot of competition for any medical student to get an internship at this hospital.”

Edward nodded, trying to tell himself he shouldn’t be so miserable. There were three hospitals in the area, but theirs was the most prestigious, and all of them were in the same predicament. If he and Carlisle were in a relationship that would prevent him from being objective, there was nowhere for him to go. This was the smart thing, and he could be an adult about it.

Still, sometimes Edward wanted to be reckless, just a little immature. Carlisle was right about that too. He’d accomplished a lot being as young as he was, but he’d done it at the cost of being able to make even a single stupid, selfish decision.

On impulse, Edward rose and went to Carlisle. He sat on his lap, facing him, his arms looped around his neck. “Can we have today? Just today, and I swear when I leave, everything goes back to the way it was?”

Carlisle sighed and ducked his head, resting it against Edward’s chest for a few heartbeats before he lifted it again. “Yes,” he said, and he kissed him.

Edward was of two minds. Part of him wanted to urge them to a hard, fast pace. In the last four months, he’d accumulated a vast collection of fantasies involving Carlisle, and he only had the day to realize as many of them as he could. But neither of them had unlimited stamina. They both seemed to have arrived at the same conclusion. They savored.

Their kisses were languid. Carlisle put his hand in Edward’s robe, but he didn’t move further than his waist. He rested his hands there, his thumbs caressing as they kissed. Edward’s fingers were curled in Carlisle’s hair or playing beneath his robe, skimming his shoulderblade. He explored the other man’s mouth, moving with him, eyes closed, lost to anything but the feel of Carlisle’s lips on his.

Edward didn’t realize at first that his hips had begun to mimic the rhythm of their tongues. The stimulation had left Carlisle in an excited state. Edward stilled the motion of his hips and broke their kiss. He licked his swollen lips, a hunger rising in him that demanded to be fed.

“Can I help you with this now?” Edward asked, purposefully rolling his hips.

Carlisle’s fingers dug into his skin. “Little boy, didn’t anyone ever teach you not to put anything in your mouth if you don’t know where it’s been?”

Edward huffed and began to rut against Carlisle, urging the overprotective man on. “Are you going to tell me you don’t get tested frequently?”

“It’s always smart to ask and you didn’t.”

Edward leaned in for a kiss. “I trust you.”

“Well then.” Carlisle brushed his thumb over Edward’s lip. “Get on your knees and ask me politely. Then I may consider it.”

Fucking hell, the man could make Edward out-of-his-mind horny in the space of a few words. He slid backward onto his feet and retrieved the pillow from his chair. He held Carlisle’s eyes as he sank to his knees and stroked the backs of his legs. He ducked his head and kissed Carlisle’s kneecap. “Please, sir.” He kissed the other. “I want your cock in my mouth. Please, may I suck you?”

Carlisle breathed in deep through his nose, and he sat up, his eyes gone dark again. He swept an arm out in acceptance. “Since you asked so sweetly, you may.”

Edward pushed Carlisle’s robe to either side and took his cock in his hands. He stroked the length of it once, twice, and put the head in his mouth first. He took his time, lapping at the tip and up under the head. He repeated this process as he took Carlisle’s length in lick by licky, hollowing out his cheeks.

In the meantime, Carlisle scratched Edward’s head along his hairline. It took him no time at all to find the sweet spot behind Edward’s ear, and he stroked him there. The pleasure of it made Edward moan and then hum, which made Carlisle very happy. His cock bounced against the back of Edward’s throat.

“So good. Christ, you’re so good, baby. So good with your mouth. You’re pretty like this.” He cupped his hand under Edward’s chin, tilting his head so he had to look up. “You like this, little one? You like my cock in your mouth as much as I like watching you?”

Edward made an appreciative noise, the sound vibrating against Carlisle’s engorged cock. The man groaned, throwing his head back. He grabbed at Edward’s hair. His hips raised to meet the bob of Edward’s head. “Like that,” he said through clenched teeth. “Jesus, you’re such a good little cock sucker.”

There was something so incredibly erotic about those filthy words coming from Carlisle’s mouth. It put a frenzied edge to what Edward was doing. He dragged his teeth along Carlisle’s shaft and massaged his balls, working him faster, harder.

“Fuck, you don’t understand what you’re doing to me,” Carlisle said around a groan. “I thought the most depraved things, watching you. I thought about you on your knees, greedy for cock. But look at you. Look at you. You love it.” His hand tightened in Edward’s hair, and he thrust his hips hard. “What are you doing to me?”

Seeing as he had an oral fixation, Edward did, in fact, like sucking dick. However, what he loved most about this was the way Carlisle couldn’t seem to stop himself from thrusting into his mouth, how he moaned, how he fucking mewled as Edward worked him. That was incredible. On the day he died, Edward was going to look back and remember the sight and sound of Carlisle falling to pieces for him as one of the highlights of his life.

Carlisle came with a scream that sounded like it had been ripped from the base of his spine. Edward swallowed around his convulsions, and after a few moments, the other man slumped in his chair. His grip on Edward’s hair loosened, and he pet him, soothing the ache with trembling fingers. He whispered, almost nonsensically, “Lick it all clean like a good boy. Good, good boy.”

Edward was very diligent in his duty, licking the length of Carlisle’s cock in long, slow strokes. When he was satisfied, he pulled the robe back into place and rested his head on Carlisle’s knee, glancing up at him from under his eyelashes.

Chuckling, Carlisle ran the back of his knuckles down Edward’s cheek. “That was incredible, pet.” He sighed, stroking his thumb along Edward’s jaw. “You’re not going to make it easy for me to let this go, are you?”

It was at least a little comforting that Carlisle was finding the idea of walking away from whatever it is they’d uncovered a difficult concept to live with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: And then they never touched each other again. The end.  
> Yeah, okay. No one believes me. HUMPH.
> 
> Again, tysm to my cheerleading squad, and thanks to everyone who’s left a review. This one is rather hard for me (pun very much intended hehehe), pushing my limits and such (fucking A. WHY CARLISLE, WHY? WHY SO FUCKING FILTHY MOUTHED? G’DAMMIT) so I really appreciate the feedback.


	3. So That Happened

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [ ](http://s193.photobucket.com/user/eleanorn/media/LyricalKris/download.jpg.html)   
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Weeeee! Mari made me such a pretty banner. Don’t you love it? I love it. I had to update early just to show it off.

Monday morning before he had to go back to work, Carlisle stepped out of his shower into a room full of steam. He wrapped a towel around his waist and braced himself against the counter, hanging his head a moment while he tried to collect himself to face the day.

It was no good. Not here. It had only been twelve hours since he’d said a very naked, very wet goodbye to Edward. Carlisle had meant to let him take a shower and send him on way, but he’d been overcome by a powerful need. He’d yanked the poor boy out of the shower and bent him over, taking him right there.

Whatever had come over him, Edward was on the same page. The moment had been almost animalistic in its fervor. He could still remember the sound of his flesh slapping against Edward’s; the noises they made--all grunts and groans. And when they were both spent, how he’d collapsed, boneless, Edward pinned beneath him right here, the smell of heat and sex surrounding them.

Now, Carlisle wiped the steam from the mirror, looking at his reflection. He ran his fingers over a trio of purplish marks on his collarbone. It was strange. He'd taken great pride in the marks he'd left on Edward. His subs rarely left their mark on him, but Edward was eager and passionate. Looking at the marks in the mirror, Carlisle felt slightly better.

Did Edward feel like this? Even more so, Carlisle imagined. In hindsight, he questioned the wisdom of the second spanking he’d given Edward the day before. It had been mostly sexual--mostly because the boy did earn himself a firm smack for that smart mouth of his--over his knee, just like he’d imagined. But even a hand spanking following the hard belting from two nights before left a lasting impression. Edward would be feeling the effects of Carlisle’s work, feeling him on his skin, for days.

Carlisle wasn’t going to pretend that the idea didn’t thrill him, but would they be able to work together as Edward had promised? The last couple of days had given them a taste of what they could have. It was like finding a vast treasure and having to collapse the opening of the tunnel where it was hidden.

Reluctantly, Carlisle got dressed and out the door.

**~0~**

It wasn’t as hard as Carlisle imagined to work with Edward again. The hospital had its own rhythm, and only too often, a ten hour shift stretched into a twenty hour one. Despite one poor choice, Edward was a good doctor. He’d have never jumped Carlisle if a patient’s life was on the line, and so he didn’t seem to have trouble prioritizing when they were working.

Then again, those moments that had passed between them before, heavy with tension and desire, were only worse. Carlisle was surprised more than once to find he and Edward had moved closer together as they were reviewing patient charts and medical texts. One or both of them would freeze, and Carlisle would have to hold himself rigid while the urge to pull the other man to him would pass. That was the difference. It was one thing to have a fleeting fantasy, quite another to know with certainty it could be so, so good.

Before he left, Carlisle had talked with Edward a long time about his needs. “You’ve been too long without a dom,” he’d said. “Never forget that there’s no shame in needing this. You need someone steady. Someone who knows you or who can get to know you for more than a night.”

Edward had looked up at him, his smirk equal parts mischievous and longing. “Someone like you?”

Carlisle touched his cheek. “I would be so lucky.”

He didn’t let himself think about things like Edward’s internship being up in seven months. He didn’t want to mention it to the other man. It was selfish to want him to wait, to let Carlisle give him what he so desperately needed. If he could find something steady, Carlisle didn’t want to stand in the way of that.

Well, no. He very much wanted to stand in the way of that, but he wouldn’t.

Within a week, the marks from Edward’s hickeys had faded completely. Two weeks went by, then three. Though the long hours kept them both busy, it was impossible to forget. The want never left Carlisle.

One night, in the middle of an all-night shift, Edward caught Carlisle’s attention. “Dr. Cullen, will you come look at something with me?”

Carlisle turned back to his other intern. “Do you have what you need, Tanya?”

“Yes, Dr. Cullen. I’ve got it now.”

Nodding, he turned to Edward. “Okay. What’s going on?”

On the brisk walk down to one of the x-ray rooms, Edward explained that he’d assisted on a surgery earlier that day.

“Something didn’t sit well with me,” Edward said. “I don’t like to think Dr. Snow missed anything, so I hope I’m seeing things.” He put the x-ray up on the lightboard and pointed to the area, explaining what he thought it might be.

Carlisle blinked, looking it over again. He picked up the patient’s chart, skimming to fill in a few blanks. “No, I think you’re right. I can see why Dr. Snow thought there wasn’t anything more he could do. This is a tricky spot. We’ll need to run a few x-rays, but if we can do that first thing in the morning, she can be in surgery by evening, damage repaired.”

He grinned, looking again at the x-ray, triple checking that he did indeed see what Edward saw. He couldn’t have been prouder of his intern. “Very good catch. Well done, Edward.”

Distracted, Carlisle reached out and rather than clap Edward on the shoulder as he might have with any colleague, he ruffled Edward’s hair affectionately. He caught himself almost immediately and pulled back, but too late. The atmosphere around them had turned heavy and over-warm. “I’m-” Carlisle started, but he was interrupted when Edward grabbed him by his jacket and hauled him in for a kiss.

Carlisle let it happen for one, two, three seconds before he pushed Edward firmly away. “Have you lost your mind?”

Edward ran a hand through his hair, his face flushed. “Christ, I’m going to. If we can’t--”

Though they hadn’t been speaking loudly, Edward stopped talking when he heard the sound of a distant footfall. This part of the hospital was mostly empty, but Carlisle wasn’t going to take a chance. He crooked his finger. “Come here.”

He led Edward through the halls to a more quiet section of the hospital. It was three in the morning, and most anyone who had an office had long since gone home. Carlisle did a quick check any way to see if anyone was burning the midnight oil. When he saw they were safe, he pulled Edward with him into a friend’s office and locked the door behind them.

“Look,” Edward said the minute the door was closed. “I’ve been thinking about this, and--”

“You can’t think about this,” Carlisle said in a whisper-hiss, motioning that Edward needed to keep his voice down regardless. “We talked about this, and nothing’s changed. You have to let this go. Find someone else.”

“I don’t want to find someone else,” Edward snapped. He took a deep breath and a step away from Carlisle, beginning to pace. “And I don’t think I have to. We can make this work.”

“Edward.”

“No. Please just listen to me.” His tone wasn’t demanding but pleading. “At least hear me out.”

Carlisle gave an exasperated sigh. The boy had no clue how much he wished he could just give in, but he couldn’t. Still, there wasn’t any reason why he couldn’t let Edward speak his mind. It would give him time to calm down, and then he could make a rational argument. He nodded his head for Edward to continue.

“There’s nothing wrong with an attending and an intern being friends, right? Buddies? That’s not looked down on. Emmett and Dr. Whitlock catch a beer all the time. They’re such good friends they’re practically attached at the hip. Right? That’s allowed.”

“What’s your point?” Carlisle asked, his tone even.

“My point is, why do we have to keep our distance?”

“You’re not asking to be my friend, Edward.”

“No, but I’m not asking to be your boyfriend either.” He stood still, a few paces from Carlisle, and crossed his arms. “You were right. I do need someone steady. What you gave me, I haven’t had in a long time.” He raised his chin, looking Carlisle right in the eyes. “And I think it was good for you, too. That’s what you said, isn’t it? Better than you’ve had for a while? So why not? It’s no one’s business what we do in our own spare time, and if I wasn’t thinking about what I’m not getting, from you or anyone else, I could concentrate better at work. All problems solved.”

Carlisle was quiet, trying to think of an argument.

Edward, likely taking his silence as wavering will, stepped forward, close enough that Carlisle could feel the heat of his body. “For all we know, Dr. Whitlock has Emmett tied up in his basement every other night. How would we know? It can be like that for us, as far as anyone else is concerned.”

For a full minute, while Carlisle’s thoughts spun wildly around his head, the only sound in the room was their heavy breathing.

Then Carlisle stood up straight, giving Edward a cool look. The younger man shrunk a bit, looking like he expected Carlisle to say no. Carlisle had to fight his smirk. “Now, little boy, why on earth didn’t you tell me like that in the first place?”

Edward’s eyes narrowed, and he looked at Carlisle, obviously confused.

Carlisle took a step forward so they were almost, but not quite touching. He lowered his voice even more, leaning in close to his ear. “You would have gotten your way without the world of hurt you just brought down on yourself,” he said before straightening up again, waiting for realization to dawn on Edward’s face.

It did, and the young man turned pale, realizing this had all started because he’d kissed Carlisle. At work. Again. “Oh,” he said. Then, “Shit.”

Woe be to the sub who had to be punished twice for the same offense. “And your timing is horrible,” Carlisle said with a cluck of his tongue. “Since you’re working and on call tomorrow, we’ll have to wait for Wednesday. I’m going to need ample time to deal with you.”

He saw the shudder pass through Edward, but he also saw the flush in his cheeks and heard his breath quicken. “Wednesday,” he said with a nod. He swayed a bit on his feet, and Carlisle didn’t envy him. Waiting for a punishment was always the worst.

Though, in this case, if they were really going to do this, Carlisle thought the waiting would drive him equally out of his mind.

“I’ll see to this patient,” Carlisle said, brushing past him before he lost the battle to keep his hands off his intern. “Go ahead and check on the others.”

“Oh. Yes.” Edward shook his head hard, as though remembering where he was. “Right. Patients.”

He looked about as dazed as Carlisle felt.

Dazed and excited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Well. That didn’t last very long.
> 
> Continued thanks to my girls. I would never be able to get through this fic if not for them. 
> 
> And thank you all for your support! I’m glad you seem to be enjoying my descent into depravity.


	4. The Punishment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Oh hey. It’s Wednesday! Let’s put poor Edward out of his misery, yeah?

By the time Wednesday afternoon rolled around, Edward was as nervous as an elephant on ball bearings. He had to clench his fists at his side as he showered and changed in the hospital’s locker room.

 

“Hey, Edward.”

 

Edward jumped a mile at Emmett’s booming voice, and the other man laughed. “Are you okay, man?”

 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” His voice cracked, and he had to clear his throat.

 

Emmett stared a little too hard, and Edward thought for sure the other man had somehow figured him out, but then he laughed. “Man, you’ve been on shift too long. I was gonna ask if you wanted to go get a beer, but it looks like you should go home and get some sleep.”

 

“Did Dr. Whitlock let you off your leash?” Edward muttered under his breath, distracted.

 

“What?”

 

“Nothing. You’re right. I’m just tired. I’m going to go home.” He hurried off before Emmett could start asking questions.

 

“Jesus, get it together, Masen,” he muttered to himself as he got to his car.

 

It had been a very long couple of days. There was the dread that came with knowing he was going to get it. That kind of torture shouldn’t ever last this long, but it went hand in hand with the choice he’d made. Work came first. That was the way it had to be. So he’d waited, giving Carlisle ample time to plan his punishment.

 

Fear and excitement chased each other around Edward’s stomach and made his heart speed. He ran a hand through his hair, still wet from the shower he’d taken in the hospital’s locker room. Time to face the music.

 

And then, hopefully, the other thing that had made the last two days torturous. The part that came after.

 

Wherever Carlisle was going to take him, Edward couldn’t wait to go.

 

He drove, his stomach twisting in tighter knots the closer he got. He contemplated the phrase, ‘your ass is grass’ and wondered who thought that made sense. Obviously someone tripping on acid, mistaking the color of grass as bright red. Or crimson.

 

No. Purple. His ass was...Grimace from McDonald’s.

 

He giggled to himself, resting his head briefly on the steering wheel after he parked. God, every inch of his skin was tingling.

 

Edward got out of the car and headed up the walk, wondering vaguely if this was how people felt walking to their execution. Then again, probably not. He couldn’t decide if he was more terrified or aroused. Christ.

 

Sighing, he knocked on the door.

 

The door opened, and Edward’s breath caught.

 

Why? Why was a black shirt so hot? And the way it hugged the muscles of his arms. Holy hell.

 

Carlisle put his forefinger under Edward’s chin, raising his head. Edward opened his mouth, but Carlisle beat him to it. “Shut up.”

 

Edward closed his mouth again.

 

“I’m going to tell you right now, because your mouth is going to get you into trouble otherwise, that I don’t want to hear a word from you unless it’s yes, sir,  or no, sir. Do you understand?”

 

Edward blew out a breath through his nose. “Yes, sir.”

 

“Good. Then come in.”

 

Edward followed Carlisle into the house. He went into the living room, and there Edward froze. Carlisle, meanwhile, sat down on the couch. In front of him on the coffee table were three of the most wicked implements in the world of BDSM:  a two pronged tawse with thick leather straps, a wooden paddle large enough to catch both his ass cheeks in one stroke, and a rattan cane.

 

His ass cheeks clenched, and for a moment, he was terrified Carlisle intended to use all three of them.

 

Carlisle snapped his fingers, focusing Edward’s attention on him. “Make your choice, then come here, kneel, and present it to me.”

 

Oh, Christ. “Yes, sir,” he murmured. There was no such thing as the lesser of three evils here. They were three equal evils.

 

With a grunt, he picked up the paddle. He was pleased he didn’t shake as he came and knelt in front of Carlisle, holding his hands palm up, the paddle balanced across them.

 

Carlisle drew in a deep breath, and Edward started a bit when the man ran his fingers through his hair. “We have a lot to talk about tonight, but there’s business to attend to first, isn’t there?”

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

Carlisle took the paddle from him and rested it on the arm of the couch. “Stand up.”

 

Edward did.

 

Carlisle looked up, his blue eyes holding Edward’s gaze as he pulled his jeans and underwear down to his ankles. Edward felt his cheeks heat and his breath stuttered. He had to bite his tongue to keep from speaking.

 

Standing, Carlisle gestured at the couch. “Kneel. Put your hands on the back and stick your ass out.”

 

For just a second, Edward was frozen. He swayed, and then he moved, getting into position. He watched Carlisle pick up the paddle from the arm of the couch and jumped again when he put a hand to his back.

 

Carlisle chuckled. “Nervous, pet?”

 

“Yes, sir.” Not even Edward was stupid enough to put any sass in his tone just then.

 

“You should be.” Carlisle put the paddle to Edward’s bare ass, rubbing in slow circles. “Tonight isn’t going to be very much fun for you, little boy. See, I don’t like having to repeat myself.”

 

Edward was so busy trying to keep himself from groaning at Carlisle’s rubbing, that the first strike caught him off guard. “Ffff, ah.” He remembered Carlisle’s order that he shouldn’t speak at the last possible second.

 

Carlisle rubbed the paddle over his ass in a few circles before he struck again. “Normally, I like to have you bent over with your hands on the stairs like last time.” Rub. Rub. Smack. “But I can’t expect you to keep that position for as long as this is going to take.”

 

Edward gasped at the next strike. He bowed his head, trying not to whimper at Carlisle’s words. He’d almost forgotten just how wicked the paddle was. The worst part was actually the seconds after the smack, when the sting had a chance to set in.

 

“See, I thought I had made myself very clear the first time,” Carlisle said, his tone maddeningly calm as he continued the punishment. “Obviously, I didn’t leave a lasting impression on you the first time, did I?”

 

“No...Yes, sir.”

 

“And yet you failed to learn your lesson.”

 

The tempo of smacks picked up. “Obviously, you’re not taking your own career seriously enough. There isn’t anything more important to me than you, and you will learn to make yourself and your future a priority. Do you understand?”

 

Edward found it difficult to form words that weren’t curses. “Yes, sir.”

 

“Work is off limits. There aren’t any exceptions to that rule.”

 

Carlisle kept up his lecture, punctuating his points with swings of the paddle. At almost every strike, Edward gasped or groaned. A few times, he almost cursed but managed to hold his tongue. It was a very near thing though. He was almost glad he’d been ordered silent, because Carlisle was right. His big mouth would have gotten him in even more trouble.

 

Edward imagined sitting on a hill of fire ants would have been a relief compared to this.

 

He was breathing raggedly when Carlisle finally stopped, resting the paddle against his throbbing ass. “You take your punishments very well,” he said, his hand resting gently against Edward’s back. “I’m pleased with you, little one. Five more, and I want you to count these, understand?”

 

Edward groaned, but he pushed himself up straighter. “Yes. Yes, sir,” he managed, voice a thin waverr.

 

The crack of the paddle against his skin was deafening. Like thunder. And Edward cried out. “O-one.” Crack. “Fff. Two.” Crack. “Three.” Crack. “Oh! F-f-four.” Crack. “Five.”

 

He shouted the last word and bent his forehead to rest on his folded arms, shaking horribly. Each heartbeat sent a wave of agony radiating from his ass outward. It was at once a horrible and incredible feeling. He was desperately sorry, ashamed of his lack of control, and yet his body sang with adrenaline and endorphins. He shifted on his knees, groaning as the sting only seemed to spread anew. That was the evil of the paddle. The pain got worse after the fact.

 

Carlisle began to rub his back soothingly. "I'm very impressed with you. You didn't move even once. You're a good boy."

 

Edward let out a shaky sigh at those words, smiling even as he fought back sniffles.

 

"Tell me why I had to punish you," Carlisle said, still rubbing his back.

 

"It was a dumbshit thing to do. It was irresponsible to risk my career."

 

"You want to be a doctor, right? That's important to you."

 

"Yes, sir," Edward said seriously. "It's what I want most in my life."

 

"Yet you almost threw it away not once but twice."

 

Edward frowned and ducked his head further down into his arms. "I'm impulsive. I need to learn how to control that."

 

"Yes, you do. Then you understand why we're not done."

 

Edward straightened up, his eyes wide. "What?" He looked toward the cane and tawse still on the coffee table, unable to fathom taking either of those when the ache in his ass went bone deep.

 

“Not those, my naughty little boy. But I'm going to make sure you don't forget this lesson again. Now stand up."

 

For a few seconds, Edward felt so sorry for himself, so sorry in general, he couldn’t move. He wanted to beg, to swear it would never happen again--it wouldn’t happen again. Not now that he knew he could have this longer term.

 

“Little boy.” Carlisle rained a series of crisp smacks right at the space where Edward’s thighs met his ass, making him cry out. “I know you’re not testing me right now. Stand. Up.”

 

“Yes, Daddy,” he said, straightening quickly. “Sorry. Sir.”

 

A smile tugged at the corner of Carlisle’s lips, and Edward was glad to see it. In the middle of a punishment, there was always that tiny, if irrational, tendril of fear that he’d displeased his dom to the point they wouldn’t want him anymore. Carlisle moved a hand to his elbow, helping him climb down from the couch seeing as his jeans were still gathered around his ankles. “Sir or Daddy. I don’t mind either, as long as you’re being respectful. Be good and take what you’ve got coming, then you can be my good little boy again.”

 

“Yes, Daddy.”

 

Carlisle ruffled his hair. “Good. Now follow me. Be careful. You don’t want to trip.”

 

With that, he turned and headed for the kitchen. Edward had to swallow a groan, suddenly realizing why he had to keep his jeans and underwear in a puddle at his feet. It made the shuffle he had to do to walk awkward, adding that extra bit of shame that made his face grow hot to the tips of his ears. But he held his head high as he followed Carlisle to the kitchen, trying to rub the fire out of his ass as he went.

 

When he turned around and saw what he was doing, Carlisle frowned. He grabbed Edward by the wrist and guided his hand to the top of his head. “No rubbing. Put your hands up here and keep them there.”

 

Edward sighed but did what he was told, trying not to show his discomfort. The pain was accompanied by a bastard itch that made him antsy, hungry for touch. He was already hoping Carlisle wasn’t the type that believed punishments should include not getting the sex he was eager for now.

 

Carlisle positioned him facing the counter and then stepped away, hands on his hips as he looked at Edward. “Have you ever been figged before?”

 

“No, sir.”

 

“Do you know what figging is?”

 

Edward swallowed, his heart picking up a more frantic pace as he realized he was facing something new. He took a shaky breath. “I’ve heard the word at parties, but I don’t know.”

 

Carlisle nodded and picked up something from one of the baskets of fruits and vegetables he had on his counter. He held it up for Edward to see. It was a root vegetable of some sort with thick, gnarled fingers coming off it. “This is a ginger root.” He placed the thing on a cutting board he had out, and cut the longest, thickest finger off, setting the rest to the side. A sharp, aromatic spice filled the air, and Edward suddenly had an idea about what Carlisle was about to do.

 

“Figging is a Victorian era punishment.” A thoughtful look came over his face as he looked at the finger of ginger, beginning to peel it’s rough edges with the knife. “I have no idea why they call it figging, seeing as this is ginger, but that’s beside the point. The act is taking a peeled ginger root and inserting it into the anus. The effect is a mild to severe burning sensation accompanied by an itch. Pay attention to what I’m doing. Next time, you’ll prepare your own ginger.”

 

Edward had to swallow hard past a thick knot in his throat, watching as Carlisle peeled the root and shaped it around a twist at one end, so it wouldn’t disappear into his ass, he assumed.

 

Carlisle held the ginger under Edward’s nose so he could smell the juice of it. Ginger was a very strong scent, a million times more potent fresh than it was in a small, shredded pile with his sushi. “The effect is different per person,” Carlisle said, and under other circumstances, Edward might have smiled. There was that ring of curiosity to his tone. Edward had long ago learned that his mentor was insatiably fascinated by such case studies and lived for collecting more information. “You may get lucky and be one for whom the effect is negligible. Either way, the nice thing about a figging is there’s no lasting effect. After the root is removed, the itch will die down in about ten minutes, the burn in twenty.” He raised a hand, caressing Edward’s sore ass. “I’ll still be able to fuck you later. Would you like that, pet?”

 

A strong thrill of desire cut through the nerves, and Edward’s cock twitched at the thought. “Oh, Daddy, yes,” he said, relieved beyond measure that there was relief in sight. He’d been dreaming about Carlisle fucking him again for over three weeks now.

 

Carlisle smiled, petting his hair once. “So eager.” He wagged a finger in his face, his stern expression back. “Don’t get ahead of yourself. You’ve earned every minute of this punishment, do you agree?”

 

If he wasn’t so nervous at the thought, Edward might have smiled. He could see Carlisle was double-checking his consent level, seeing as they still had no safe-word system in place. But though he was scared of this unknown, he trusted Carlisle. This was the reason he’d been so desperate, wanted Carlisle in a way he hadn’t wanted anyone else in years. He trusted the man to push his boundaries, to give him what he needed and wanted.

 

He swallowed hard. “Yes, sir,” he said.

 

“Good boy.” Carlisle brushed past him and went to pull out one of the straight backed chairs at the kitchen table, turning it around and taking a seat. He laid the ginger root on the table and patted his lap. “Come here and get over my knee.”

 

Blowing out a breath, Edward shuffled the few steps over to him and bent over his lap. They both adjusted themselves until they were comfortable, Edward’s palms flat on the floor to steady himself. Normally, he very much enjoyed this position. He loved the way his hardened cock would get trapped, rubbing against his Dom’s leg as he was spanked or toyed or finger fucked. Right then he was a little too nervous to enjoy the pleasure of it, but that was the point. Punishments weren’t supposed to be fun. Getting what he needed wasn’t the same as getting what he wanted.

 

To his surprise and dismay, Carlisle didn’t stick the thing in his ass as Edward had been expecting and dreading. Instead, he began to spank him. Edward knew from experience Carlisle wasn’t spanking nearly as hard as he was capable of, but on his already severely paddled ass, it was agony. He yelped, and one hand flew back on instinct, trying to protect his rump. Carlisle caught it and pinned it neatly to his lower back, continuing the spanking at a brisk pace.

 

“Tell me again why you’re being punished,” Carlisle said.

 

Edward groaned. Since he hadn’t had time to prepare himself, he couldn’t seem to keep still, wiggling and whimpering with each smack. “Fuck. I was...I was irresponsible. At work.”

 

“Again,” Carlisle added. “Those are the two reasons you’re being punished like this. The two things I absolutely will not tolerate. You will not hurt yourself and your future as long as I have anything to say about it, and you will not make me repeat myself. If you make me punish you for the exact same offense, no matter what it is, I promise you will always regret it.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Edward said between gasps. His eyes stung almost as bad as his bottom, and it was all he could do not to cry. “Daddy, I’m sorry.”

 

But it didn’t escape his notice that even as Carlisle spanked and scolded him, he ran his fingers over the knuckles of Edward’s trapped hand, comforting and tender as ever. After another few smacks, Carlisle rubbed his back, hushing him. “Almost done, baby. Just a little bit more, and we’re all done. You’ve been so good. I’m proud of you for taking your punishment like a big boy.”

 

Just as Edward had caught his breath, he felt the tip of something against his asshole. The ginger. He’d forgotten about it during the spanking. He pushed up, instinctively squirming away, but felt Carlisle put pressure against his trapped hand, pinning him more firmly. “Don’t fight me now, baby. Relax for me.”

 

Easy for him to say, Edward thought, but he took a deep breath, forcing himself to settle again. He knew he’d been stupid, and he wanted very badly to please Carlisle again. And he was curious. A little scared, but mostly curious.

 

The finger of ginger Carlisle had carved for him was maybe three inches long and thick. Carlisle worked it into his ass slowly, giving him time to adjust.

 

At first, the feel of it was very fresh, like when he used a mint mouthwash. It was a cold feeling on his inner walls. But as Carlisle helped him up and directed him to stand with his legs as wide as his jeans would let him go and hands on his head, the burn began to make itself apparent. It was a bite again not unlike Listerine, sharp but much more intense on the nerve-filled walls of his anus.

 

“I forgot to mention one thing,” Carlisle said. He smacked Edward with something once against his inner thigh, making him jump. “If you clench, it will make the burn worse, so try not to.”

 

Edward groaned, finding out too late that Carlisle was right about that. The burn, already unpleasant, had intensified exponentially when he wiggled.

 

Carlisle rested the thing he’d hit Edward with, a flat wooden spoon, on the counter within eyesight, and set about making them a quick pasta dinner with garlic and, of course, ginger. Every once in a while, he would come, pick up the spoon, and Edward would try his hardest to remember not to clench as he delivered one or two sharp smacks to the insides of his legs or the backs of his thighs.

 

Edward tried to take his punishment in silence, but it proved impossible. The ginger was unlike anything he’d ever felt before, horribly intense. It had the same effect as the paddling--a burning, itching pain except inside him. He groaned and cursed under his breath, shifting on his feet. There was no relief. His wiggling only made it worse. He hung his head, feeling more chastised and wretched than he had in a long time.

 

And yet, in the depth of that emotion was an appreciation. He did understand why Carlisle was being so strict with him. He understood with perfect clarity that everything he’d worked for, long years of study while other kids his age had as much fun as they could, could so easily have been for nothing if he was drummed out of the program on a technicality. He was miserable at the moment, but he was also touched that Carlisle cared about him.

 

This was part of what he craved, what he needed, and Edward could have wept that Carlisle was so willing to do this for him.

 

But still, by the time Carlisle was setting two plates at the table, Edward had long since decided that whoever first had the bright idea to shove a peeled ginger root up someone’s ass was a bastard. A bastardly asshole whom Edward fervently hoped was burning in hell, being horsewhipped. Fucker.

 

“Please, please, please,” he babbled, bouncing a bit as Carlisle came up beside him. “Take it out.”

 

“You think you’ve learned your lesson? Truly this time?”

 

“Yes. Yes. I won’t do it again.”

 

“Mm hmm. Because you said that last time.”

 

“Please.” Edward’s voice cracked. He really thought he was going to cry. “Please, Daddy, please.”

 

“Okay, little one. I believe you.” He took the ginger out, but as he’d promised, it did little to alleviate the sensation. Edward groaned again, but he let out a meek “thank you” so Carlisle wouldn’t think he was unappreciative.

 

“You’ve been so good for me, I’m going to give you a little reward, but don’t get used to it,” Carlisle said. “Bend over the counter.”

 

Trusting that this wasn’t some ruse leading to more punishment, Edward bent over eagerly. He rested his cheek on the cool counter, watching as Carlisle opened the freezer and came out with a piece of ice. Edward groaned, this time in relief, figuring in advance what the other man intended.

 

Sure enough, Carlisle came back over to him, stroking his hair as he slipped the ice into Edward’s asshole, slaking the burn. “Is that better?” he asked, easing it in and out.

 

“Yes.” The sensation of the ice made him squirm, but Edward could have wept in relief. “Thank you.”

 

“Good.” Carlisle patted his shoulders. “Come on. You can take your shoes and pants off now. Today you can do your corner time while we have dinner and talk.”

 

Edward was confused about what he meant until he saw that his chair had no cushion. He sighed, but he didn’t argue. He’d have taken his time sitting down, but Carlisle wasn’t having any of that. He took him by the shoulders and sat him down without easing him into it. Edward gave a short cry, but otherwise didn’t complain.

 

Just as Carlisle likely intended, it was difficult to concentrate during dinner. He kept fidgeting. His ass felt like it was swollen several times its normal size, and resting his weight against the hard wood made for a deep ache.

 

Still, he answered all of Carlisle’s questions, stuttering only a little. They talked about their limits and expectations. Dinner was done before they had said everything they needed to, but Carlisle took Edward’s hand and led him back to the living room. There, he pulled Edward into a very tight hug.

 

Edward shuddered, not realizing how much he’d wanted this part until it was here. He ducked his head, a strong emotion making his knees weak, but Carlisle held him up. He stroked his hair and his back, telling Edward what a good boy he was and that he was so proud.

  
Carlisle pulled back, tilting Edward’s chin up so he could kiss him. It was a long, slow kiss. A kiss that instantly stoked desire in the pit of Edward’s belly. He broke the kiss and stroked Edward’s cheek. “Lay across my lap and I’ll help you feel better.” He grinned. “And then we can have a little fun.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Many thanks to all my lovely ladies. Seriously, they make it difficult for me to stop writing this story. 
> 
> Same goes for all you out there. Everyone alive? Edward took his punishment pretty well. I think he deserves a reward. We’ll see what Carlisle has to say about it next chapter, yeah?


	5. Not Punishment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: A note to people who were uncomfortable last chapter. We will address this more within the story, but just to give you a little insight/comfort. The beautiful part about BDSM is it is 400% about the SUB’s wants and needs. It’s not about the dom. At all. If it is, it’s wrong and abusive. Period. End of sentence. Edward was in complete and total control of everything last chapter. If you’ll noticed, Carlisle double checked several times that he had full consent.
> 
> I know this is difficult for a lot of people to understand because things happen within BDSM that not everyone would be comfortable with (I’m not a fan of people who like to be completely degraded, treated like dogs, for instance), but the fact is, it’s not about us. It’s not about norms or standards. It’s about what an individual needs, and that, at its heart, is what this story is about.
> 
> But that’s why I told you at the beginning, please. Feel free to engage in a little conversation. I’ll be happy to answer questions, because I do want you to be comfortable with the story I’m trying to tell. *hugs*

In the morning, Carlisle reached out blindly, expecting to find warm skin but finding only cold air instead. He opened his eyes. Sure enough, the bed beside him was empty.

 

He blinked more awake and heard the sounds of Edward moving around in the bathroom. Good. It wasn’t all a wonderful dream then. He buried his head in his pillow again, breathing in the scent of sex and the man who’d shared his bed the night before.

 

And many nights to come.

 

Satisfaction and excitement had Carlisle grinning into his pillow. A dom and a sub didn’t mesh well just because they shared the same kink. Like any relationship, they had to be compatible. That was what made their first night together so bittersweet. It had been instantly obvious that they could have something great. A good dom/sub relationship could reach depths and heights like nothing else Carlisle had ever experienced. The trust his subs put in him, letting him see a part of them no one else would understand, was a beautiful gift.

 

Carlisle got to his feet and went in search of his sub, pulling on a pair of boxers as he did. He found Edward in the bathroom, turned to the side, staring at his bare ass in the mirror.

 

It was quite a sight. He clucked his tongue, drawing Edward’s attention to him. “Are you okay?” he asked, because that was the most important question. Personally, he thought the marks were all the more lovely because it was Edward wearing them. But it would take some time to get used to Edward’s moods and limits.

 

The other man smirked. “Oh, yeah. I’m fine. I was just admiring the view. You know, I think I’ve got a fine looking ass, but it’s so much prettier all dressed up.”

 

Carlisle crossed his arms, leaning against the doorframe. Secretly, he was pleased to see Edward’s sass back in full force. He’d been sullen the night before, but that was to be expected. “It is very pretty, but I hope you’re not thinking about making me do that to you again so soon.”

 

Edward shuddered. “Uh, no. Jesus Christ, you are fucking lethal with a paddle; you know that?” He rubbed his ass, his look rueful.

 

“Well, you have a particularly hard head. I’m beginning to understand one needs a firm hand to get through to you.”

 

“Sometimes,” Edward admitted with a grimace. “But that was a fluke. That’s what happens when you give someone a taste of the forbidden fruit, and then just dangle it in front of them for weeks.”

 

Carlisle tilted his head. “Little boy, I know you don’t want to be taught a lesson on the importance of taking responsibility for your own actions right now.”

 

“I didn’t say I didn’t deserve it,” Edward said, ducking his head in contrition.

 

Carlisle hummed his approval. “Come here, brat,” he said, extending a hand. When Edward took it, he pulled the other man close to him wrapping an arm around his waist and tracing his fine features. “Sometimes I think you’re going to make me spend more time punishing you instead of playing with you.”

 

Edward kissed his fingertips. “You’re so good at it.” He turned a little in Carlisle’s embrace, thrusting his ass toward him. “Very even coloring.”

 

This fucking kid. Carlisle cupped his chin, catching his lips in a kiss. After a few moments of this, he dropped to one knee, turning Edward so he could examine his ass. He was a careful spanker and expected to find nothing distressing. The boy wouldn’t be able to sit without pain for a few days, but he’d brought that on himself. It didn’t hurt to be thorough though. He kissed a particularly painful looking bruise with a gentle pressure.

 

“Makes me wonder,” Edward said.

 

Carlisle moved on to press a kiss to another bruise. “What’s that?”

 

“This is what you do on a repeat offense. What happens if I make the same mistake three times?”

 

Carlisle looked up and raised an eyebrow. “I don’t know. None of my subs has ever been that masochistic.” At the look on Edward’s face, he narrowed his eyes. “That wasn’t a challenge.”

 

Edward shuddered at the edge Carlisle had put into his voice. “Not even I’m that stupid.”

 

“Not stupid,” Carlisle said, getting to his feet. He hated hearing anyone put themselves down. “Stubborn.” He kissed Edward. “And mouthy.” He kissed him again. “And maybe just a little too big for his britches.”

 

Edward melted against him then, kissing him back. Carlisle drew a hand down his back and cupped his ass, reminding himself to be gentle. Even with that slight touch, Edward whimpered into his mouth, but he didn’t draw away. No, he only sidled closer.

 

Reluctantly, Carlisle stepped back. “Put some clothes on if you’re not going back to sleep. We need to finish talking things out before we start anything.”

 

Edward groaned, putting out that lower lip. “If you insist.”

 

“Oh, I do.”

 

A few minutes later, they were both dressed in boxers and robes, downstairs in the living room. Edward, natural sub that he was, started to sink down to sit on his knees at Carlisle’s feet, but Carlisle caught him, pulling him up to sit on the couch instead. He didn’t want Edward in a mindset that he wanted to please Carlisle. He wanted straight answers.

 

“Why did you pick the paddle last night?” Carlisle asked after Edward had found an at least halfway comfortable position.

 

The other man scoffed. “That was a hell of a choice. I don’t know. I had the feeling you were going to wear my ass out, and I don’t think I could have taken a longer punishment with the cane.”

 

Carlisle hummed. “If you’d chosen the cane, that part of your punishment would have been a lot shorter.”

 

“Now you tell me.”

 

A smile tugged at the corner of Carlisle’s lips. “But the time you spent over my knee would have been longer.” He reached into the end table drawer and pulled out a smaller, leather paddle, putting it on the cushion between them. “With this.”

 

Edward stared at the thing and licked his lips, giving the slightest moan. “Over cane welts? Christ. What would you have done if I had chosen the tawse?”

 

“Oh, then it would have been a two-part punishment instead of three. The tawse and the figging, but it would have been a longer and harder.”

 

Edward paled. “Ah. I was never going to choose the tawse anyway. Fuck that thing.”

 

“It is a piece of concentrated evil,” Carlisle agreed.

 

“You sound like you know that from experience.”

 

“Oh, I do.” He laughed at the look on Edward’s face. “Does it surprise you?”

 

“A little.” Edward squirmed, that shy smile Carlisle quite enjoyed tugging at the edge of his lips. “You’re just good at this part. It’s hard to picture you being a switch.”

 

“I’m not a switch. I did used to be submissive, though, when I first entered the scene.” He tilted his head, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. “I was raised by a single father. He was a good man, but he overcompensated by being rigid. From a young age, I was taught to be in complete control of myself, always to be what he expected me to be. I didn’t realize until I met a man when I was studying in Italy--Aro. Carlisle clucked his tongue, remembering. “He taught me how very good it can be to hand control over for a little while. Aro was good for me, but he was heavy-handed. Suffice it to say, anything I use to warm your ass for you has been used on me. Aro would have used the cane, then paddle, and then finished you off with the tawse, believe me.”

 

“Fuck me,” Edward said, his cheeks flushing at the thought. “And you took it?”

 

Now, it was Carlisle’s turn to look sheepish. “I was an adrenaline junkie back then. I won’t say he never scared me, because he did. He wasn’t perfect by a long shot. And I won’t say I enjoyed his punishments, because I frequently didn’t. But the endorphin rush after a very heavy punishment?” Carlisle whistled and had to adjust himself. His cock had come half mast just remembering.

 

Edward giggled, a little titter that had him clapping a hand over his mouth. “Sorry. It’s the image. I’d have paid good money to see that.”

 

“I could demonstrate,” Carlisle said, his voice deadpan.

 

“Pass.”

 

Carlisle laughed at that. “Speaking of which. We should talk about safe words.”

 

“That’s a good idea. Red doesn’t work very well when it frequently describes the color of my ass.”

**~0~**

They talked about everything they’d only touched on at dinner the night before. They talked about limits--Edward didn’t have many. He was too curious about a lot of things to be scared about going there. They talked about how Edward felt about the punishment the night before, especially the figging which had been new to him.

 

“I was pretty sure I hated it last night, but I don’t know. I want to try it again. Just not today,” he’d said.

 

Carlisle stored everything away for future use. They ate and showered, separately this time.

 

When Edward came downstairs, Carlisle was leaning against the wall, shirtless, just watching. Edward was a very beautiful young man. He descended the stairs in the robe with an eager red tint on his cheeks. Carlisle was briefly breathless.

 

How on earth had he gotten this lucky?

 

Carlisle caught Edward around the wrist, pulling him in for a kiss. He cupped Edward’s face in between his hands and lapped at his tongue. Keeping up his kisses, Carlisle pushed the robe off Edward’s shoulders, pleased to find him nude underneath. He ran his hands over the young man’s body. He was lanky, but not without the definition of muscles. Very nice.

 

Twirling a finger idly in the coarse curls of Edward’s pubic hair, he broke their kiss and smiled. “Get on your hands and knees on the table. Stick your ass out for me.”

 

Carlisle’s coffee table wasn’t actually a coffee table. If one were to look close enough, they would see that, first of all, it was large enough a full grown man, say Edward’s size, could lay down on top of it. That was, in fact, what it was built for--to the support the weight of two full grown men. People usually missed just how long it was because it was slimmer, like a coffee table, and because his couch was also obnoxiously long. Which, incidentally, was also conducive to play.

 

“I never did understand the point of a play room,” he’d told Edward when they talked about it. “What, do these people not have friends and family who would notice a whole room filled with manacles and tables with restraints on them? So I prefer to hide in plain sight. Most people just think I have a grandiose sense of home furnishings.”

 

Edward pressed his lips together, but he obeyed readily enough. When Carlisle stepped up to him, he wagged his ass.

 

“Trying to tempt me, pet?” Carlisle asked, stroking his hand down Edward’s back.

 

“It’s a possibility.”

 

“Dangerous game.” He reached between Edward’s legs, teasing him by touching everything except his cock and balls. “A bare butt makes good target practice for my paddle.”

 

Gasping a bit, Edward pressed back, seeking his hand. “But I’ve been such a good boy, Daddy.”

 

“Mm hmm.” He moved his hand to Edward’s head and grabbed a fistful of his hair. He pulled his head back, making him gasp. Leaning down, Carlisle put his lips to Edward’s briefly. “Good boys get spankings too, especially when they know damn well they’d like it.”

 

Edward whimpered, meeting Carlisle’s eyes. He licked his lips and gave the smallest of nods.

 

Carlisle let his head go, soothing his scalp with a gentle pet. Then he reached over to retrieve an item he’d placed on the end table.

 

“Ohh,” Edward said, eyes on the item Carlisle had brought out.

 

“Oh,” Carlisle said, coating one end of the stainless steel butt plug with lube. “It reminded me of you.” He turned the other end toward Edward, showing him the emerald-colored gem in the hilt.

 

He moved to Edward’s ass, holding his cheeks open with one hand while he worked the plug in with the other. It wasn’t very thick, mostly decorative. It really wasn’t the point tonight. He worked the plug in and out a few times. “You like that?”

 

“Yeah. Yeah, I like it.”

 

“Good. Now lay down on your bottom.”

 

Despite the soft towel Carlisle had placed down for his ass, Edward sucked in a breath as he obeyed. That went with the territory, and soon enough, the pain would be much more titillating than discomforting. Carlisle dismissed that concern and went about his business. He pulled Edward’s arms straight up over his head, binding him at the wrist and then securing him there. He moved down to Edward’s feet, tickling him as he went.

 

“Fuck, that’s cheating,” Edward said, trying to squirm away.

 

“And I didn’t even realize there was a test,” he said. He spread Edward’s legs enough so he could tie them comfortably to either side of the table.

 

“Oh, god. Tell me you’re not going to sit there and eye-bang me again,” Edward said, looking up at Carlisle as he looked down on him.

 

Carlisle crossed his arms and smirked. “See, that sounds like more fun to me now than what I was planning on doing.”

 

“Why? What were you planning?” Edward asked, doing some eye-banging of his own.

 

Carlisle shrugged, nonchalant. “Never mind.”

 

Edward groaned. “Tell me. Please.”

 

“Hmm.” Carlisle watched him squirm another few seconds before he took a small tin out of his pocket. He flipped off the top and showed it to Edward.

 

“Is that a candle? Oh, hell yes.”

 

“What are you hell yesing about?” Carlisle crossed his arms again, tucking the candle out of sight. “We’re doing the staring thing. It’s a little creepy, but I’ll try anything once.”

 

“You’re a fucking monster, you know that?”

 

“You’re a fucking monster...sir.”

 

Another low moan. “Yes, sir. You are a fucking monster, sir.”

 

“Good boy.” Carlisle nodded approvingly. He took the candle out again. “So you want this?”

 

Edward nodded with gusto. “Not to show my age or anything, but duh.”

 

“I see.” He shook the candle. “You’re going to have to ask me a little nicer than that.”

 

Edward’s eyes darkened, and he tugged on his bindings. “Please, Daddy. Please.”

 

Carlisle perched on the edge of the table. “Please. What?”

 

“Please use the wax on me.”

 

Carlisle traced a fingertip around Edward’s belly button. “Where do you want it? Hmm?”

 

Again Edward tugged, as though he kept forgetting. “I’d point, but you know. I’m a bit tied up at the moment.”

 

“Use your words,” Carlisle said, lighting the candle. He tossed the lighter over his shoulder and looked at Edward, waiting.

 

“Stomach,” Edward said, breathless.

 

“Ask right.”

 

“Fuck.” Edward licked his lips. “Please use the wax on my stomach.”

 

“Sir,” Carlisle reminded.

 

Edward writhed. “Please use the wax on my stomach, sir. And can we establish that I want you to use it any damn place you want? Really, I only chose the stomach because it’s a good idea to test the temperature first, and--”

 

“Edward.”

 

Edward blinked and looked up at him. “Huh?”

 

Carlisle put a finger of his free hand to his lips. “Shh.”

 

Moving slowly on purpose, Carlisle raised the candle above Edward’s belly. He tilted his wrist, letting some of the gathered wax splash over onto the other man’s skin.

 

“Ah, ah.” Edward thrust upward.

 

“Now where?”

 

“I thought we established the whole anywhere thing already.”

 

“Where?”

 

“God dammit.” Edward huffed. “Nipples. Sir.”

 

Carlisle obliged him.

 

“Fuck. God.” Edward panted. “The other one. Please, sir.”

 

Humming, Carlisle tilted the wax in a long line from his chest down below his belly button. Edward cried out, breathing so hard now he was rising up off the table, twisting. Standing, Carlisle began to drip wax one drop at a time around his body.

 

“Gah! Sweet mother of christ. Agh!” Edward pulled at his leg restraints as Carlisle had begun to dribble wax on his cock where it rested hard on his belly.

 

A little breathless himself just watching him, Carlisle put the candle down. He leaned in, kissing Edward’s lower lip. His cheek. His chin. “Do you want to know something?” he asked, kissing the underside of his chin. His neck.

 

“Uh. Uh huh.”

 

Carlisle moved to straddle the boy, kissing him again, lining up their bodies for some seconds before he slid further down. “That wax is edible,” he said, and then lowered his head to begin licking it off his nipple. “Mmm. Cherry.”

 

He moved on quickly, knowing from previous experience that he could make Edward come without touching his cock, but he’d poured the wax there for a reason.

 

Well, more than one reason. He pressed the tip of his tongue to the base of Edward’s shaft and licked a line all the way up.

 

“Oh fuck. Oh hell,” Edward said, pulling at his ties again. “God, let me go. I want to touch you. Please.”

 

Carlisle paid no attention to this. He licked another long line the length of Edward’s shaft. Then took him in his mouth.

 

“Shit. Fuck. Oh. Oh. Oh, man. Oh, I’m going to...I’m going to…”

 

Carlisle cupped Edward's balls, brushing his thumb over his heated skin. He could feel the way Edward was moving, squeezing around the plug in his ass as Carlisle worked his cock.

 

Edward made a noise that was the equivalent of banging his hand randomly on a keyboard when he came. “Fuck,” he said, panting. “Jesus. God.”

  
“You know, you call me that a lot,” Carlisle said, climbing back up Edward’s body to share his taste with slow, hot kisses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Bit better?
> 
> Many thanks to my girls. I love you all so much you have no idea.
> 
> Hey you. You out there. You make me smile. If I gotta deal with Carlisle being all sex machine, then at least I have you with me.


	6. Claimed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Beep! Posting and then trying to finish my online class. Social Psychology. Fun times. Anyway. ONWARD.

Doctors were very busy people. There were weeks when the only free time either Edward or Carlisle had away from the hospital was, by necessity, spent sleeping. As a result, when they could get together, Edward was hungry for his Daddy.

 

Unfortunately for him, Carlisle was a bastard. Rather than start off hot and heavy, Carlisle went slow. Delayed gratification was a particularly potent torture device in the man’s capable hands.

 

Fortunately for him, Carlisle was a hot bastard who made the slow kisses worth it.

 

“Hey, baby.” Carlisle took his hand, pulling him inside the house. He wrapped one arm around Edward’s waist and cupped his cheek with the other. Edward sighed, all the stress of his week falling to the back of his mind as he melted into Carlisle’s kiss. He was walked backward until he was pinned against the door, Carlisle’s tongue lapping languidly at his.

 

Edward pressed his palms flat against the door, opening his mouth to Carlisle, making his body pliant. A month into their new relationship, they were beginning to really understand each other. That was how Edward knew the moment he put his hands on Carlisle, this part would be over. Of course, then the fun would begin, but the question always was, would Edward go out of his mind before he was allowed to touch his Dom.

 

Carlisle didn’t exactly play fair. He skimmed his fingers up along Edward’s sides, tickling and teasing. He pressed the nodules of Edward’s spine, massaging away a knot here and there. Edward tilted his head, pressing upward with his body. A shudder of pleasure went down his spine when Carlisle again cupped his cheek, rubbing his thumb behind Edward’s ear. He could have purred.

 

Edward’s hands twitched. He tried to have patience, but as his head began to swim with lust, he succumbed to desire. His hands left their perch against the door. Hovered. No sooner had Edward given in and rested his fingertips against Carlisle’s hips than the other man pulled away. He took several steps back and crossed his arm.

 

“Fuck,” Edward muttered, banging his head against the door. “You suck so much.”

 

“Hmm.” Carlisle’s eyes flicked down to Edward’s crotch. He put a hand to his chin, wiping a thumb across his lips as he drew his eyes slowly up Edward’s body. “I was considering it, but I haven’t quite decided yet.”

 

Another groan, but Edward didn’t fight his grin. “Your bad jokes are painful.”

 

“Isn’t that what we’re here for?” Carlisle took a few more steps backward and sat on the couch, hands behind his head in a lounging position. “Lose the clothes.”

 

Edward’s cock jumped in his pants. He started to grab at the hem of his shirt, but Carlisle whistled sharply. “Slowly,” he said.

 

“What? No music?”

 

Carlisle raised an eyebrow, but he stretched, giving Edward a nice view as he picked up the remote to his stereo system. He pressed a button and music filled the air. Classical. Nothing anyone could have stripped to. He waved his hand at Edward. “Continue.”

 

The thing was, though Carlisle enjoyed driving him crazy, Edward knew damn well the man was just as hungry for him. He could see it in his eyes as he watched with intent. Edward toed off his shoes, his socks. He turned halfway around, jutting out his ass as he took his jeans down, shaking his hips to the music in his head since the mournful music coming from the speakers was just never going to be sexy. He slid his underwear halfway down his ass but kept them on as he turned back around and took off his shirt.

 

Edward saw the way Carlisle’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed hard, and when he spoke again, his voice was husky. “Turn around. And lose the underwear, you tease.”

 

A thrill went through Edward, and, as it always did, his heart began to pound out an erratic pulse. He obeyed, turning to face the door.

 

The couch creaked as Carlisle stood up, and Edward heard the soft pad of his footsteps. His skin was so alive, so desperate and aware, that when Carlisle stepped up behind him and rested a hand on his bare back, Edward whimpered.

 

“Always so eager, pet,” Carlisle said, stroking the fine hairs on the back of his neck. He came up close, not quite leaning on Edward, but caging him in with his hands propped on either side of the door. Edward shivered when Carlisle ducked his head, scraping his teeth along his shoulder. He kissed Edward’s neck, his cheek, the space beneath his ear. “How are you supposed to be standing?” he whispered.

 

Edward sucked in a breath. “Fuck.” Whenever he was standing or kneeling, he was supposed to do it with his hands clasped behind his back. He moved to get into position, but Carlisle caught his arm. He gripped both of his wrists and, peppering kisses at his shoulder, guided his hands above his head, pressing his palms flat on the door.

 

“Stay,” Carlisle said, lips against Edward’s ear.

 

Then he was gone. Edward heard his footfalls on the stairs and wondered what he’d gone to fetch. Anticipation mingled with nerves, and Edward shifted, shivering again in the coolness of the room.

 

Carlisle didn’t take long. Edward knew better than to look over his shoulder, even though he was very curious. He pressed his tongue to the roof of his mouth, waiting. He managed not to jump when Carlisle rested a hand on his ass, but it was a near thing.

 

“You don’t have many rules, do you, little one?” Carlisle asked near his ear, rubbing Edward’s ass as he spoke.

 

“No, sir.” Edward’s throat was tight, excitement stirring in his gut.

 

“Hmmm.” Carlisle ran the tip of a finger down Edward’s crack, following the line downward to skim his balls. “Since you don’t have the self control, I suppose I’m going to have to help you.” He pushed Edward’s legs apart.

 

Edward blew out a breath. “Sorry, Daddy.”

 

“It’s okay to need a little help sometimes, sweetheart.” Carlisle stroked the small of his back. “Don’t worry. Daddy’s going to help you.”

 

“Oh, good.” Edward swallowed hard. His throat was dry. His heart was pounding out of control, and it only got worse as Carlisle drew his fingers up his back, up his arms, to circle his wrists. “That’s what I like about you. You never make me feel remedial.”

 

Carlisle chuckled, bringing first one, then the other of Edward’s hands behind his back.

 

“Are we playing cops and robbers, because you have to give me a chance to do the crime before you make me do the time,” Edward said, his voice breathy.

 

Carlisle pinned his arms to the small of his back with one hand and with the other, grabbed a fistful of his hair, pulling his head back so Edward gasped. “You know, you make me rethink the value of ball gags.”

 

Edward groaned. He wasn’t going to pretend the idea didn’t excite him. It was obvious it did.

 

“Interesting,” Carlisle murmured, letting go of his hair. “So there is a way to get you to shut up.”

 

“I can think of a few ways that are better for you, sir.”

 

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Carlisle asked, shifting. In the next second, Edward felt a leather cuff being fastened around one wrist. “You like taking my cock in your mouth, don’t you?”

 

Edward licked his lips. “Yes, sir.”

 

“Such a good little cocksucker you are.” Carlisle fastened another leather cuff to Edward’s other wrist. “We’ll see. Maybe if you’re a good boy.”

 

Carlisle pulled away, but a few seconds later, he was pulling something over Edward’s eyes. A blindfold.

 

O-kay. That was how it was going to be.

 

“Come with me, little boy.” Carlisle took him by the arm. “And be careful. I have plans for you, and cracking your skull open would ruin them.”

 

“It’s nice to know you care, sir.”

 

Carlisle smacked his ass once, hard enough Edward hissed. He swallowed a moan, loving the tingle. “Kneel,” Carlisle said. He kept his hand on Edward’s arm, steadying him. “And spread your legs.”

 

Edward eased himself into the position and waited. And waited.

 

Patience wasn’t that much of a virtue, was it? There was no reason he should have to cultivate it. He’d walked into this house off-the-wall needy, and it was only getting worse.

 

Finally, Carlisle’s footsteps approached again. Edward straightened up, at attention in more ways than one. He tried to figure out what was going on. Was that rustle Carlisle taking his shirt off? He heard a steady tap, tap, tap of something hitting the side of Carlisle’s leg.

 

Oh, yeah.

 

Sure enough, a moment later, he felt a small square of leather on his shoulder. He smacked his lips. Riding crop. Carlisle tapped it against his skin, then drew it down his spine. Edward’s breaths were shallow. He rode the waves of sensation and anticipation.

 

“You feel this?” Carlisle had reached his ass and pressed the crop against the slightly tender spot where he’d smacked him earlier.

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

“I do love how your skin marks. There’s a nice red handprint right here.” He tapped the crop against Edward’s skin. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Slap.

 

“Gah.” Edward breathed in through his nose.

 

Tap. Tap. Slap against his other cheek. “It’s nice to see it. To know I put it there. Do you like that, little boy?” Tap. Tap. Tap. Slap.

 

“Oh, god. Yes, sir.”

 

There was another rustle, and Edward’s breath stuttered as Carlisle knelt behind him. Edward had been right. The other man had taken his shirt off. He pressed his bare chest against Edward’s back. He started to kiss him again, surprisingly soft kisses to his neck, cheek, shoulders.

 

The tenderness of those actions was accompanied by the drag of the leather along the inside of his thigh. Drag. Tap. Smack. Edward whimpered. Drag, up to his crotch, back down to the inside of his knee. Tap. Tap. Smack.

 

Edward tugged at his cuffs. Every time Carlisle lifted the crop from his skin Edward tensed, unable to see where it would land next. Would it be a strike, a flash of titillating pain, or a caress that sent shivers through him?

 

Carlisle nipped the shell of his ear, tracing the shape of his balls with the crop. “I like leaving my mark on you, pet. I like being able to see that you’re mine.”

 

“Hell. God.” Edward panted through clenched teeth as Carlisle moved the crop along his cock. “Your boy, Daddy.”

 

With his free hand, Carlisle cupped his cheek, turning his head toward him to kiss his cheek.

 

Edward couldn’t help it. He turned his head, trying to catch Carlisle’s lips. Almost instantly, Carlisle was gone, back on his feet.

 

“Fuck,” Edward said, shaking his head as though he could loosen the blindfold.

 

Carlisle tsked, walking around Edward, trailing his crop at his back and chest as he went. “You know better than that, don’t you?” He punctuated his question by a smack of the crop to Edward’s nipple.

 

“Aye! Yes.” He hissed when Carlisle took the crop to the second nipple. “Yes, sir.”

 

“Patience is rewarded, isn’t it?” Carlisle asked, smacking the crop against Edward’s belly.

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

Carlisle came to stand in front of him, the warmth of his body only heightening Edward’s awareness. He felt the crop under his chin, and let Carlisle guide his head up with it. Even when Carlisle dropped the crop to again tease the sensitive skin of his cock, Edward kept his head obediently raised.

 

“It’s up to you just how delayed your gratification is, isn’t it?” Carlisle said.

 

Edward moaned. “Yes, sir.”

 

“Well, you’ll have until after dinner to think about that now.”

 

Another groan. “Yes, sir.”

 

Carlisle cupped his chin, and ran a thumb over his lips. “Now let’s see about those other methods of keeping that big mouth of yours busy,” he said, replacing his thumb with something thicker and hotter.

 

Edward huffed and opened his mouth, eagerly wrapping his lips around Carlisle’s cock.

**~0~**

As usual, on the opposite side of a bone-rattling orgasm, Edward was rethinking his viewpoint. Patience really was a virtue. Patiently waiting for his release after an entire night of Carlisle’s teasing and stimulation followed by being fucked hard into the mattress, and Edward thought for five long seconds that he had actually died when he came.

 

Face down in the pillow, he groaned, breathing hard, his hands still cuffed behind his back and his ass in the air as Carlisle pulled out of him. He lay there trembling, catching his breath as he was released from his binds. Then he flopped over to one side, eyes closed, boneless and content.

 

The bed shifted and Carlisle took his hands, rubbing his wrists. “Are you okay, baby?”

 

“Is it possible to be paralyzed via orgasm?”

 

“What, did you miss that class in med school?”

 

As Carlisle sat with his back against the headboard, Edward stirred enough to readjust himself, resting his head on Carlisle’s lap. His Dom seemed to like to scratch his fingers through his hair and caress the underside of his chin afterward. Edward still wasn’t used to it, but it didn’t feel bad by a long shot. He sighed, nuzzling into Carlisle’s hand.

 

“Edward?”

 

“Yes, sir?”

 

“I have something for you.”

 

Edward would have been content to curl up and go to sleep right there, but he obediently pushed himself up onto his knees and straightened up, clasping his arms behind his back and waiting.

 

Carlisle smiled. “That’s not what I meant.” He patted the space beside him on the bed. “Come sit here.”

 

When Edward was settled beside him, Carlisle reached over and picked something up off his nightstand. Edward furrowed his eyebrows, wondering if he was reading his Dom right. He seemed almost nervous. About what, he wondered.

 

The next second, the reason for his nerves was obvious. “We didn’t talk about this,” Carlisle said with a small, almost shy smile. “I meant what I said earlier. I do like seeing my mark on you.”

 

“I like it too,” Edward said, his tone for once quiet and serious. He really did. That had been one of the best things about the paddling he’d received a month before--he’d felt Carlisle’s touch, seen the evidence of their new relationship, for a solid week afterward.

 

“This is working. This dynamic we have, right? You’re happy with me.”

 

“Uh, yeah.” Edward crinkled his nose, wondering if there was ever a doubt in the other man’s mind. “I’m happy with you. Are you happy with me?”

 

It did occur to him that from what Carlisle had said he very rarely had a steady sub. There had to be a reason for that.

 

Carlisle’s smile was adoring. He cupped Edward’s cheek in one of those tender gestures Edward never knew quite what to do with. “I’m happier than I’ve been in a long time, and I’m so lucky. I’m lucky that you chose me. I need you to know that.”

 

Edward’s heart was beginning to beat rapidly for entirely different reasons than it had earlier that evening. He ducked his head. It was such a heartfelt sentiment. “Okay,” he said, feeling a blush rise to his cheeks.

 

“You don’t have to wear this.” Carlisle placed a small jewelry box on his lap. “But as long as you want to be mine, I want you to have it.”

 

Startled, Edward opened the box. In it he found not a collar, as he’d half been expecting, but a leather cuff. It wasn’t a restraint but a bracelet. It was nice--masculine and well crafted black leather with a metal crest at its center. Edward traced the design, quickly picking out the discreet C.C. that was almost hidden by the seemingly random filigree.

 

“It’s not as conspicuous as a collar, and it’s easy to remove for surgery,” Carlisle said. “But please don’t think I’ll be insulted if you don’t want to wear it.”

 

“No. I like it.” While he wasn’t a fan of collars, Edward did like the symbolism behind it. “I think...“ He had to blow out a breath because the flush in his cheeks had gotten exponentially hotter. “I, um. I want to wear it to the hospital. When we have to go days or a week without seeing each other like this--I’d like it. To know I’m yours.”

 

He could see Carlisle liked the idea as well from the way his grin broadened.

 

Edward held his right arm out. Carlisle took the cuff and clasped it in place. He held Edward’s hand, bringing it up to his lips, kissing both his knuckles and then the cuff. Then he cupped Edward’s cheek and kissed him until Edward felt thoroughly claimed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: To my lovely Capricorn75, Packy2.0, myonlyheroin, songster, and barburella. You make my docs a beautiful place to be.
> 
> How we doing out there, folks?


	7. Esme

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: WATER. This fic flows like fucking water. G’damn dominant Carlisle being all … and… fuck, make him stfu.

For many people, the BDSM scene was much more than a kink. The reason it worked so well, the reason why bruises and pain weren’t signs of abusive, unhealthy behavior, was because it fulfilled a deep-seated need within both partners. It was why Edward had sought a modicum of relief by dabbling with one-scene partners, and why he’d been so desperate when he glimpsed what he could have with Carlisle.

 

In its essence, submission was about release and domination about helping the submissive. There was a great amount of pressure and responsibility in being a dom. The trust a submissive put in their dom was not something to be taken lightly. Never, ever, at any point was an act of D/s about the dom. It was always about what the sub needed, without exception--an often confusing idea given that a dom could and mostly did derive sexual pleasure out of the situation.

 

But D/s was not always mingled with sex and attraction. The need could be fulfilled without the sexual element.

 

It was Tuesday morning, and Carlisle was in his living room when he heard the expected knock at the door. He closed his eyes briefly and breathed in through his nose, centering himself. He rose and went to the door.

 

Esme Platt stood on his doorstep, lovely and composed as always. He knew her well enough to see the signs of nervousness--the way she tapped one finely manicured fingernail against her leg, the catch of her breath when she raised her head to meet his eyes. Still, she smiled when she greeted him. “Good morning, sir.”

 

“Come in, young lady.”

 

That broke the tension some. Esme was three years older than Carlisle was.

 

“Let’s sit.”

 

She followed him to the living room and sat in the chair that faced the sofa. “Now,” Carlisle said, “it’s been four weeks since I saw you. Why don’t you tell me what’s happened.”

 

Her cheeks went pink. “Oh, sir. I’ve been such an idiot. I--”

 

“Stop.”

 

She snapped her mouth shut.

 

“What’s my number one rule?” he asked.

 

Her lips pursed in an o as she realized what she’d just said. She ducked her head, looking down at her lap. “Be kind to myself.”

 

This was one of Esme’s deepest and longest running issues. She put herself down so much it broke his heart. “What did we agree on?”

 

Esme paled. She blew out a breath, and opened her purse. She pulled out her hairbrush--oval and wooden-backed--and handed it to him.

 

“Good girl,” he said. “Now come here.”

 

All in all, she got the hairbrush over his knee for treating herself poorly and a lengthy session with a wide leather strap while bent over the arm of his couch for various other agreed upon misdeeds, all on her bare bottom. He asked her about why she had done the things she had done and how they made her feel as he spanked her. He assured her over and over she wasn’t bad. He wasn’t here to judge her. He was here to help her. Let it out, he said. Midway through the hairbrush she was weeping softly. By the time they were done with the strap, she was kicking and screaming, her body limp over the couch as she sobbed freely.

 

“There now. All done,” he said, putting the strap aside. He pulled her up to her feet and then down with him on the couch, gathering her onto his lap. Her arms went around him, and she buried her face in his neck, crying so hard she gasped. He rubbed her back and murmured sweet things in her ear, telling her she was a good girl and all was forgiven. He let her cling to him as tightly as she needed to until her tears quieted to hiccups, and she was heavy and pliant in his arms.

 

Carlisle didn’t get off on causing people pain. He derived no sexual pleasure from hurting people, nor did he think it was healthy that anyone would. Often times, especially in the early days of their association, making this woman cry had almost brought him to tears. He wasn’t her dom but her disciplinarian. She was a married mother of two, and no one else in her life could fill this role for her. He did it because she trusted him and because he alone in her life could understand that she needed it.

 

When her breath had evened out, he pulled back a bit, taking her face between his hands. He used the pads of his thumbs to wipe the tears off her cheeks. “Better?” he asked.

 

She sniffled but smiled and nodded, lovely as ever though her face was splotchy and her eyes as red as her ass. “Thank you,” she said, throwing her arms around his neck in a hug this time.

 

“You’re welcome.” He kissed the top of her forehead. “Go on upstairs, and I’ll get the tea,” he said, releasing her so she could go splash cold water on her face and compose herself again.

 

By the time Esme came back downstairs, the tea was ready. She sat down at the table, wincing a little as she did, and Carlisle couldn’t help but see Edward sitting there, wiggling in his seat. He smiled at the memory as he set the cup of tea in front of Esme and sat down himself.

 

Esme tilted her head, studying him in the quiet minute they spent adding sugar and cream. “Something’s happened,” she said, not asking.

 

Carlisle looked at her over the rim of his cup. He liked this part, when the submissive side of her was content, whatever little voice that screamed need in her head calm for the moment, and they could be what they truly were to each other--best friends and confidants. He didn’t have a lot of close friends, and only Esme knew everything about him.

 

He told her about Edward and only stopped talking when she laughed. “You’re smitten,” she said.

 

“I am not.”

 

She laughed again. “You are.”

 

“It’s not like that.”

 

“Oh, I’m not telling you what it’s like. I’m telling you that when you talk about him, you get this foolish little grin on your face. And you’ve been going on for five minutes about how infuriatingly stubborn he his.”

 

Carlisle frowned, taken aback. His cheeks flushed warm. “It’s not my fault that stubborn is his primary characteristic.”

 

“It’s not your fault, but you like it.” Her tone was teasing.

 

“Are we in high school?”

 

“Oh, you let me enjoy this. You like him.”

 

Carlisle gave an exasperated huff. “Of course I like him. I liked him before I had him shackled to my bed.”

 

“You know what I mean.” She fixed him with a knowing look. “Carlisle Cullen, if you think this Edward is stubborn, you should have a long look in the mirror.” She chuckled, taking a sip of her tea. “But okay. I get it. You don’t want to think about it like that. You were saying about his stubbornness.”

 

Carlisle didn’t answer right away. He drank his tea, trying to get his thoughts in order. He wanted to dismiss what Esme was saying outright. He definitely couldn’t think about it right then. “It’s just that I’m concerned, and I’m not entirely sure that I should be.”

 

He drummed his fingers on the table. Generally speaking, it was a hard and fast rule that whatever happened in the bedroom stayed there. He would never think of betraying any person’s innermost fears, needs, and desires by talking about them behind their back. However, the role of a dom could be difficult. Doms were only human, and subs often laid a heavy weight on their dom’s shoulders, trusted them to bear the responsibility of that load. It took a considerable amount of strength, and having someone to talk to was often imperative. This was especially true when he was considering pushing an issue that could blow up in his face if it wasn’t handled correctly.

 

But he trusted Esme. She was impartial, compassionate, and she would never use the knowledge he gave her. “Edward hasn’t ever cried at all in my presence, but specifically he hasn’t cried when I punished him.”

 

Quirking an eyebrow, Esme shifted pointedly in her seat. “I’m not going to ask you if you went easy on him because that’s a ridiculous question.”

 

Carlisle scoffed. “The opposite, actually. The first two times, I was terrified I’d read him wrong. Those punishments were hard, and we didn’t talk about them first. It was a risk I felt comfortable in taking, but it could have gone wrong quickly.”

 

“It worked out though, obviously.”

 

“Oh, yes. Edward doesn’t like being a novice at anything. You should see him at the hospital. If he comes across a case that stumps him, he obsesses over the literature and asks a million questions.”

 

“There’s that smile again.”

 

“The point being, Edward isn’t new to the scene. He appreciated the fact I threw him into the deep end of the pool, so to speak. So no, I wasn’t easy on him. In fact, I pushed him pretty hard.”

 

“But no tears.”

 

“Not one.” Carlisle leaned forward on the table, cradling his cup in his hands. “What bothers me about that isn’t the lack of tears in and of itself. It’s that I’m almost positive he’s specifically trying not to cry. His body tenses, and he’ll go as far as the cusp of hyperventilation to calm himself down before he cries. At least that’s what it looks like to me.” Breathlessness was a normal reaction to that kind of pain and helplessness, but the way Edward did it--his eyes screwed up tight and his body coiled--looked like the antithesis of a natural reaction.

 

“Have you asked him about it?” Esme asked.

 

“Like I said, I’m not sure yet if it’s something I should be concerned about.” If they were in a romantic relationship, Carlisle wouldn’t have hesitated. Romantic partners should have been able to talk about anything. But he wasn’t Edward’s boyfriend; he was his dom, and that was a much different relationship. Whether or not Edward cried enough wasn’t necessarily any of his business. “He gets a high sense of satisfaction after his punishments. He craves that--someone to take him to task.” His lips twitched. “And he likes the aftereffects. He’s not scared or confused or anything like that.”

 

“Hmm.” Esme tapped the side of her cup as she sipped. “I don’t know. Myself, I don’t understand that reaction at all, the idea of holding back tears. For me, that’s the whole point of what we do. When you get me to that point where I stop fighting and submit, give myself over to the moment and the pain, that’s the part I need. The kicking and screaming and crying. I don’t get to do that anywhere else but with you. And then when you hold me and tell me it’s okay, I believe you. I don’t know that I feel safer and more content than in those minutes afterward.” She smiled at him, a little shy, and he smiled back.

 

“But that’s my experience, my need,” Esme said, a thoughtful expression on my face. “People have different needs. Didn’t you say you did it for the endorphins, the adrenaline rush?”

 

Carlisle chuckled. “Partially,” he said, leaving it at that.

 

“And that makes sense too. I’ve known people like that, who like the extreme side of what we do. People who like it when their masters break their skin and leave them black and blue. It’s no stranger than other things. People scale mountains, jump off cliffs, etc, looking for a rush. They get scraped up and bones broken, all that. So you like to get your ass beat instead. Six of one, half a dozen of another to me. As long as it’s all consensual, I’m not prone to judge anyone doing what they need or want to do.

 

“Anyway, I guess what I’m trying to say is it could be nothing. Maybe he really doesn’t need to cry.” Esme tilted her head, studying Carlisle. “But if he’s keeping that bit of control, then it is your job to investigate that, help him give over that burden. If he’s keeping that much control during his punishment, he’s not in the moment, and isn’t that the whole point?”

 

Carlisle hummed, turning the thoughts over in his head. He reached across the table to pick up the tea pot, pouring another cup for Esme, then himself.

 

“Carlisle?”

 

“What?”

 

Esme grinned wickedly at him. “All business aside, if you like him--”

 

The disgruntled noise he made had her breaking off with a smile. “Oh, what. Let me have my fun. I’ve been worried about you for a solid decade now,” she said.

 

“I’m fine.”

 

“You’re lonely, and you’re too good a man to be alone.”

 

“I’m fine,” he repeated. It had been a long, long time since he’d thought about a romantic relationship with anyone, let alone a man over sixteen years younger than he was. “Even if I was interested, and I’m not saying I am, it’s not a good idea.”

 

Esme rolled her eyes, waving a hand. “That’s an excuse. Sometimes couples have to work to be together. Where there’s a will, there’s a way. All I’m saying is don’t be so afraid that you let silly reasons get in the way of what could be a really great thing.”

 

“I’ll keep that in mind,” he promised.

**~0~**

“Hey, I have a question.”

 

Carlisle dragged his eyes open and blinked owlishly. He’d been late getting home from the hospital, and Edward had been waiting when he got there. Rather than wanting to play, as had been the plan, without being prompted, Edward had drawn him a bath and helped him strip his clothes off. Now Carlisle was luxuriating while Edward, perched outside the tub, slowly and thoroughly cleaned him from head to toe. “Hmm?” Carlisle, drowsing.

 

Edward reached over him to the far lip of the tub and picked up a bathbrush. It was a heavy instrument with a long handle and a flat, wooden back. “Do you buy crap like this on purpose?”

 

Raising an eyebrow, Carlisle took the brush from him. “Yes, you see, the purpose of this is to clean the center of my back.”

 

“Hey. Sassiness is my thing. Cut it out. You know what I mean.”

 

Carlisle laughed, rotating his wrist and the brush. “Sweetheart, believe me. This is only for bad little boys in really big trouble. This thing hurts like crazy.”

 

“How big trouble?”

 

Craning his neck back so he could look up at Edward, Carlisle put on his sternest expression. “I’m not kidding. I would only think about using this for sincere and severe discipline.”

 

“After that set up, are you going to make me beg for the story?” Edward asked, scratching his fingers through Carlisle’s hair, wetting it.

 

“Ah, well.” Carlisle sighed, setting the brush down again. “It was Aro. Of course it was Aro. I told you he was heavy-handed. Well, my most severe punishment was a week’s worth of spanking.”

 

“Jesus Christ. What the hell did you do?”

 

Carlisle snorted. “I’d picked up smoking, and Aro thought he’d cured me of that habit. He found a pack of cigarettes I’d purchased that day along with the receipt, so there wasn’t any hiding it. When he found it, he dragged me right out of the shower, bent me over the counter, and, well, you get the idea.”

 

“Damn. A bath brush paddling on wet skin. That must have been fun. And for a week?”

 

“No.” Carlisle shuddered. “A week of that?” He nodded his head at the bath brush. “No one is that sadistic. No, that was just the beginning. After that, every morning and every evening for a week, he’d make me ask him for a spanking. Just his hand, but that was bad enough over the bruises from this thing. Kept me aching to my tailbone all week long. Effective, though. I could hardly look at a cigarette after that.”

 

Edward hummed in acknowledgement.

 

Carlisle caught his hand and twisted to look at him. His lips curled up in amusement. “You’re curious, aren’t you?”

 

Edward’s cheeks went pink and he gave a sheepish shrug. “One or two swats can’t possibly hurt that badly.”

 

“Oh, little boy. You’ll rue the day. Just remember you literally asked for it.”

 

“One or two swats,” Edward emphasized. “I feel like that’s the important part of the conversation.” He dipped a cup in the water, pouring it over Carlisle’s head and picked up the shampoo. “I have another question.”

 

“Why am I not surprised.” Carlisle tried not to moan at the scalp massage he was getting as Edward worked the shampoo through his hair.

 

Edward leaned in close to his ear, whispering in a slightly falsetto, southern-belle accent, “Where on earth did you get this darling lavender-scented bath oil?”

 

Carlisle didn’t answer for one, two, three seconds. Then, too quickly for Edward to react, Carlisle made his move. There was a yelp, a splash, some wrestling, and a few moments later, the sloshing water had made a mess of his bathroom floor and Edward, still fully clothed, was in the tub with him, sputtering. It was a big tub made, like most of the furniture in the house, to accommodate two grown men.

 

“Listen, if you think this is the best way to get me all wet, I have news for you, old man,” Edward said, wiping the water from his eyes.

 

“I have news for you. You are all wet.” Carlisle grabbed him around the waist, half squeezing and half tickling so Edward flailed, getting more water everywhere. “Didn’t anyone teach you to respect your elders, little boy?”

 

“Really depends on the elder, don’t you think?”

 

Carlisle kissed his neck. It was a rough kiss. With teeth. “You know,” he said, pulling at Edward’s sodden t-shirt. “You’re making me reconsider this whole one to two smacks of the bathbrush thing. I’m thinking maybe a solid dozen would do you a world of good.”

  
“Oh, god,” Edward groaned, but anything else he might have said was cut off as Carlisle turned his head toward him and kissed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Heheheh Songster is coming around to our boys. She’s good to me. So are my endlessly patient girls.
> 
> How we doing out there?


	8. Flashback

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: That was my bad, guys. I wasn’t very clear. Carlisle was teasing Edward about the bathbrush. If he punished him every time he was sassy, Edward would have no butt left. Hahaha.

The holiday season was a busy and often heartbreaking time at the hospital. Between that and both of them going home to visit with family, Edward and Carlisle hadn’t had time to play in weeks. As a result, Edward was restless and needy. So though Carlisle had told him repeatedly he had to work on the case study Tanya had asked him to look over, Edward had wheedled his way into an invite to his house. It wouldn’t take him all night to finish after all.

 

Of course Carlisle, true to his word, had refused to allow Edward to seduce him away from his work. Edward had tried everything. He’d made them dinner and massaged Carlisle’s neck. He’d whispered seductively in his ear. He was thanked for dinner and the massage and told succinctly, “Be patient, pet. I’m almost done.”

 

Edward was very familiar with the concept of bratting--being naughty in order to catch the attention of his dom. Typically he used it as a form of foreplay, a way to coax a playful, sensual spanking with playful, sensual scolding from his dom that would lead to playful, sensual sexing. But it was a method best used when his dom was fully engaged in the scene.

 

Right about then, Edward was well aware his bratting was out of place. He knew better than to to think it was a good time to mess with Carlisle. After all, his number one rule was about not messing with his career, and Edward was smart enough to understand that his mentor took Tanya’s career just as seriously.

 

Edward told himself repeatedly he was just having a little fun. After all, Carlisle had the next morning off. Worst case scenario, if Edward did manage to coax him away, he would still have hours to finish. Besides, he wasn’t really getting in the way. He was just sitting on the edge of the desk or kneeling at Carlisle’s side, putting his head against his knee, maybe pressing one or two open-mouthed kisses there, breathing hot breath on--

 

“Edward. Stop it.” Carlisle patted his head absently. “It was your choice to come here tonight. I told you I had to do this first. If you can be patient, I’m on the last three pages.”

 

Sitting back on his haunches, Edward had to stop himself from pouting. It wouldn’t have done any good anyway. Carlisle wasn’t looking at him but was already staring back at his laptop.

 

He sat for a minute, trying to convince himself to go watch TV or clear away all the dishes. That would have been the mature thing to do. But there was an itch beneath his skin he couldn’t quiet.

 

Trying to distract himself, Edward decided he would get Carlisle a drink. That would show him he wasn’t trying to be such a brat, and maybe it would dull his desire to work around the edges. Maybe.

 

Hey, it couldn’t hurt to try.

 

So Edward went to fetch a drink, cheekily making a colorful cocktail that would have come with fruit and an umbrella in most bars. He set the drink down on the desk and hopped up beside it when disaster struck. As he sat on the desk, he knocked the drink over. Carlisle’s reflexes were quick enough to save the laptop, but the same couldn’t be said for the printed out articles and the two medical journals he had around them.

 

Quickly, Edward dashed out of the office, gone to fetch the paper towels. Carlisle had already taken the journals to the bathroom to see if he could wash and dry them off, leaving Edward to mop up the mess he’d made.

 

By the time Edward was wiping away the stickiness with a wet paper towel, Carlisle was back. Edward didn’t turn to look at him. “I’m sorry,” he said, meaning it. He was disappointed in himself and his juvenile behavior.

 

Carlisle didn’t say anything at first, but after a few seconds, just as Edward threw the last of the mess away, he heard the distinct sound of a belt being unbuckled and pulled from its loops. Despite the fact he’d been expecting it, Edward’s heart began to pound with both nerves and excitement. Even though he felt bad about disrupting Carlisle’s work--he hadn’t meant to be so destructive about it--he knew it wasn’t a very serious offense. So maybe just one or two steps up from the playful spanking he’d been trying to get out of his dom.

 

Edward could handle that. More than handle it, his skin itched in anticipation.

 

“You obviously want my attention; well you’ve got it, little boy. Now that you’ve cleared my desk for me, bend over.”

 

For some reason, with those words, something ice cold settled in the pit of Edward’s stomach. He obeyed quickly because it was ingrained in him to do so, but for the first time in a long time, Edward’s apprehension eclipsed his excitement.

 

He tried to ignore it, waited for that moment when the strike of the belt would bring the rush of pain tinged around the edges with pleasure. There was the swish and the belt landed across his ass with a crack that was loud in the small room. Edward jumped. He held his breath and then released it in relief when the familiar arousal stirred in him, accompanying the sharp sting.

 

It wasn’t really a punishment spanking. If it had been, Carlisle would have taken him out into the living room and told him to bend over on the stairs. Not to mention, Edward knew what it felt like when the man took a belt to his ass with the intent of getting a point across. It wasn’t quite playful either. After all, Edward had been fucking around with work, and that did warrant some comeuppance. It was titillation with a bite of business.

 

Edward’s relief was short lived. The icy finger in the pit of his stomach grew to the size of a rock. He squirmed. Something was just...off.

 

Carlisle wasn’t lecturing. Everything else was there, but without the scolding. He delivered a baker’s dozen swats, and had just set the belt down when his cell phone rang.

 

“Damn,” Carlisle said. He ruffled Edward’s hair. “It’s the hospital. Go upstairs, brat. I’ll be there in twenty minutes max. And don’t have clothes on when I get there.”

 

When Edward glanced back at him, he could see Carlisle’s expression was distracted as he answered the phone.

 

Edward stepped out of his pants, trying to swallow down the lump that had risen in his throat. Carlisle’s parting words should have had him going out of his mind with lust. But even as he ascended the stairs, his erection was flagging.

 

In Carlisle’s bedroom, he threw himself face down on the bed. He clenched and unclenched his fists, trying to spend the bad energy.

 

Edward didn’t know what the hell was going on in his head except that he was pissed. Well, no. That wasn’t true at all. He didn’t really know how to explain the feeling inside him that welled up, choking in his throat, churning in his gut. For once, the pain in his ass that throbbed with every beat of his heart didn’t arouse him. Instead, it stung. Not the way it was supposed to sting, but as though the pain went deep enough to wound.

 

That was what he felt: wounded.

 

And that was what was pissing him the hell off. It made no sense that he should feel like this, like he was writhing in his own skin. Shame he understood. He’d been ashamed when his doms, perhaps Carlisle especially, had to truly punish him. That shame he could deal with, this he felt like he couldn’t stand.

 

True to his word, Edward heard Carlisle’s step on the stairs. He rolled onto his side, facing away from the door. A moment later, Carlisle flounced down on the behind him. “What am I going to do with you, my pet? Hmm?”

 

Edward cringed as Carlisle put an arm around his waist, kissing his shoulder. He had to force himself to relax, to try to get into it as Carlisle kissed a line across his back.

 

“I think it’s high time I taught you a lesson in patience. Maybe I’ll tie you up, spread open wide, waiting and ready for me. What do you think of that?”

 

Edward couldn’t answer. His throat was too tight. The words were meant to tease him, and any other day they would have made his cheeks flush and his mouth go dry. Not tonight. He rolled away from Carlisle and sat up, swallowing convulsively, trying to tamp down his irritation. The strange urge he had to answer sarcastically warred with his desire to submit.

 

Carlisle sat up. “Edward?”

 

Edward didn’t answer. He tried not to flinch when he felt Carlisle’s hand against his shoulder.

 

“What’s wrong?” Carlisle asked.

 

“Nothing,” Edward said, exhaling. “I’m fine.”

 

“No, you’re not.”

 

Edward rolled his shoulder, throwing Carlisle off him. “I’m fine.”

 

“Something is wrong.”

 

Edward blew out a breath and made an effort to turn around, though he didn’t look at Carlisle. “No. I’m sorry. Nothing’s wrong. Let’s just keep going.”

 

Carlisle touched a hand gently to his arm. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

 

“God dammit, Carlisle,” Edward shouted, straight out smacking Carlisle’s hand away. “Fucking let it go, you nosy asshole.”

 

Both of them fell silent, neither breathing for a handful of seconds. Then Edward slumped, his head in his hands. “Fuck,” he hissed under his breath. He sighed and angled his body toward Carlisle to face the music. “Which paddle should I get, sir?” He tried to make his voice lighter, but it didn’t work.

 

Carlisle scooted over to the middle of the bed and sat with his back against the headboard. He patted the seat beside him. “Come here.”

 

Edward furrowed his brow, stunned into immobility by the change in Carlisle’s tone and the set of his shoulders. There was a softness to his expression that confused Edward. It was one he was used to seeing in the hospital but not here.

 

“I’m not going to punish you, but I would like you to come here,” Carlisle said, just a hint of the firm command of the Dom slipping back into his voice.

 

Still confused--he’d been unnecessarily rude for no reason and fully expected to be punished for it--Edward climbed onto the bed and sat beside Carlisle. The other man put an arm around him, pulling him closer. It took a few seconds for Edward to realize what he wanted. Slowly, still half expecting this was some kind of trick, Edward rested his head head on Carlisle’s shoulder and relaxed into his embrace.

 

Carlisle traced the shell of his ear. “Good. Now I need you to talk to me. Something about what I did bothered you, and I won’t have that. If you don’t want to tell me everything, that’s fine, but I need to know specifically what disturbed you.”

 

Edward huffed. “It’s stupid.”

 

“Look at me.” Carlisle waited until Edward lifted his head to meet his eyes. “It’s not stupid. It bothered you, and that’s important, no matter what it is. Please tell me.”

 

The same spark of irritation that had gotten him into trouble just a minute before flared again. Edward pressed his tongue to the roof of his mouth to keep his temper and answer. He didn’t like feeling so foolish. “It’s really nothing. I had some kind of flashback, that’s all.”

 

Carlisle was quiet, waiting for him to continue. He was patient and didn’t push, but it was clear he wasn’t going to drop it. Edward took some comfort at the pleasant sensation of Carlisle’s touch as he tried to push his embarrassment aside enough to speak.

 

“My parents, they didn’t, um...They didn’t spank me very often. Only when I really pissed them off. I mean really pissed them off.”

 

Edward’s head jiggled on Carlisle’s chest as the other man laughed. “You be an infuriating brat? Surely not.”

 

“Ha.” Edward blew out a breath. “Anyway. My parents both worked. My mother got home first, so of the maybe twelve times I was bad enough to get it, ten times it was her I acted up with.” He scoffed and tried to smile even though he didn’t really feel like it was funny. People usually made light of the punishments they suffered in childhood, and why shouldn’t they? Most people were spanked, and it was especially stupid for Edward--who literally asked for punishments that would have gotten him taken away from his parents and admired his collection of bruises afterward--to feel uncomfortable about the whole thing.

 

“It’s so damn cliche, but she did the whole wait until your father gets home routine. Then, when my father got home, she would say to him, ‘Junior needs to be punished.’ He didn’t even ask why. He just took me to his study, bent me over the desk, and let me have it. The whole time, the only things he said were ‘bend over’ before and ‘go to your room’ afterward.”

 

Edward straightened a little, pulling away from Carlisle’s embrace, embarrassed and irritated at himself. “See? It was nothing. They’re not good memories, I guess, but they’re not supposed to be good memories, so whatever.”

 

Carlisle was silent for another few seconds, his expression pinched. “Shit,” he said when he finally did speak.

 

“What?”

 

Carlisle raised a hand and stroked Edward’s cheek, his expression thoughtful. “I don’t actually believe in hitting children. I don't think anyone should be hit unless they consent to it, but if you’re going to hit a child, I think there’s a right and wrong way to do it. Don’t spank unless you’re calm and not angry. Let them know why they’re being punished, and that you love them before you do it. Afterward, they need love, comfort, and reassurance that they’re forgiven. It’s not much different than the rules I follow for you.” At that, Carlisle grimaced, and he cupped Edward’s cheek with a tenderness that took him aback. “The rules I failed to follow today.”

 

With a small huff, Edward pulled away from Carlisle, disconcerted by the soft touch. “I knew damn well why you did it. I always know why you do it. That’s half the reason your god damn lectures drive me so crazy, because I fucking know why you’re busting my ass, and sometimes I want you to shut up and get it over with. I knew why my parents did it, too.”

 

“That really isn’t the point. The point of all the talking isn’t only so you’re clear about what you did to deserve punishment, it’s also that you should feel like I know why I’m doing it. So you’ll know it’s not because I’m angry or because I hate you.”

 

“That’s stupid. I know you don’t hate me.”

 

“What’s rational and what we feel aren’t the same thing, Edward. What we feel has the ability to leave wounds. If you’re punished, you’re paying for your poor choices. At the end of a punishment, you should feel absolved of your guilt and forgiven. You should feel lighter. Better, not worse.” His lips quirked upward. “Emotionally anyway. Physically, if you can't sit easy for a few days, well you probably deserved that.”

 

Edward put on an innocent look. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m an angel.”

 

“Lucifer is an angel, sweetheart. But in any event, it’s no wonder you were so disturbed by what I did. You might hate my lectures, but you’re used to them, so it must have been strange when I didn’t lecture you tonight. I was very distracted, not that it’s an excuse. Then I left you alone right afterward. Of course, all of that was going to remind you of how you felt after your father punished you. Your father’s punishments were very cold and impersonal.” Carlisle caught Edward’s face, turning him back toward him.  “I’m very sorry I made you feel like that.”

 

A little boggled, Edward pulled out of his hand again, ducking his head. “It was a call from the hospital. That’s more important. I know that.” Some part of him didn’t understand why Carlisle was making such a big deal of this. Sure, he probably shouldn’t have left him alone afterward, that wasn’t good aftercare at all, but shit happened.

 

“Your well-being, especially when we’re in scene, should be the most important thing in my world. Life happens, of course, but that doesn’t mean I made the right decision. I shouldn't have sent you away, for one thing.” He took Edward’s hand and tugged him. “Come here.”

 

Knowing what he wanted, Edward moved to straddle Carlisle, facing him. It was only when he was enveloped in his usual post-punishment hug that Edward felt the tension drain from his body. Maybe he didn’t need this part, but he liked the ritual, and it didn’t feel bad. In fact, if felt really damn good.

 

Carlisle rubbed his back in slow circles, stroking his way downward in a comforting motion. “I’m sorry,” he said. “You were a very good boy during your punishment, and I’m proud of how you took it.” He pressed a soft kiss to the side of Edward’s hair. “I’m sorry I didn't talk to you, and I made that a bad experience for you.” He kissed Edward’s cheek. “Will you forgive me?

 

Edward sighed, feeling the last of the tension between them drain away. “Depends.”

 

Carlisle pulled back and raised a questioning eyebrow.

 

Once again, Edward feigned innocence. “Do I get to spank you now?”

 

Just like that, the look and air Carlisle exuded was a hundred percent Dom again. He wagged his finger sternly. “Don’t push your luck, brat.” He put his finger under Edward’s chin, and pulled him forward for a kiss. “But you can tell me…” He kissed him again and then nipped at his bottom lip. “How you want me to touch you.”

 

As he spoke, he traced the shape of Edward’s lip and then pressed the pad of his finger down. Obediently, Edward opened his mouth, sucking at Carlisle’s finger, licking it languidly. He watched as his Dom’s eyes darkened with desire. “What you want me to do?” He took his wet finger from Edward’s mouth and put it to his asshole, teasing his entrance as Edward gasped. “Do you want my tongue here? Hmm? You want me to fuck you with it? I could eat you out for hours if you want.”

 

He made a move, and Edward found himself on his back on the bed, Carlisle’s weight bearing down on him, their noses brushing. Leaning in, Carlisle brushed his lips in a teasing kiss. “Tell me what you want, baby.”

 

“You,” he said, breathless. “Please. It’s been so long.”

 

Carlisle straightened up. He pushed Edward’s legs back, and guided first one and then the other of his hands behind his knees. “Hold this,” he demanded.

 

With Edward’s legs in the air, Carlisle laid down on his belly. True to his word, he set straight to work, licking the length of Edward’s crack. A jolt went through Edward’s body, and he cried out. As Carlisle plunged his tongue inside him, every nerve in Edward’s asshole seemed to be stimulated at once. He sighed, stretching his legs up as Carlisle tongued him.

 

But acquiescing to Edward’s wishes, Carlisle didn’t stay down there for long. He climbed back up Edward’s body. He pressed Edward’s legs back as he entered him hard and deep. Edward threw his head back with a cry.

 

With each stroke, the restless frustration that had tainted every spare minute Edward had in the last three weeks ebbed. Their eyes were both open and on each other. They were breathing in each other’s hot breaths.

 

Edward swallowed, trying to speak between pants. “Not...gonna last.” He was surprised at the intensity, how he was so close to climaxing on penetration and the brush of Carlisle’s body against his hard cock.

 

“Come for me.” Carlisle ducked his head, stealing a kiss. “I want to see you. I want to feel you.”

 

It was only another few thrusts, and Edward’s body went into spasms, his scream strangled in his throat. Carlisle wasn’t very far behind him.

 

When they were spent, Carlisle didn’t bother to move but remained collapsed on top of Edward for minutes while they both caught their breaths.

 

With a groan, Carlisle finally got to his knees. “Stay here,” he said, kissing Edward once more before he hopped up out of bed.

 

He came back a moment later with a wet towel and cleaned Edward off, taking care of him. As he did, Edward brushed his fingers up and down Carlisle’s arms, just needing to touch him.

 

“I missed you, Daddy,” Edward said as Carlisle lay down beside him again.

  
The other man smiled, running a thumb over his chin. “I missed you too, beautiful boy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I. LOVE. my docs. I love them. I love my gals.
> 
> And I love all you. Happy Holidays, friends. I’ll see you after all the craziness.


	9. Patience is a Virtue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi, everyone! I hope you had a wonderful holiday. Let’s see what our boys are up to.

Edward was completely unaware Carlisle was watching him.

 

It was a stroke of luck that he happened to be coming out of the showers when the locker room was mostly empty. Edward was there, a short ways down the aisle, a towel around his waist, stunning to look at as always. His hair was dark, still wet from his shower. Carlisle watched a drop make its way from his neck down to his belly button and made a mental note to trace that exact path with his tongue the next time he got his hands on his boy.

 

Edward rooted around in the bag he had on the bench, pulling out a shirt--damn--and something else, something smaller.

 

Carlisle’s breath caught when he realized Edward was putting on his cuff again. There was something so powerful about the gesture, especially when Edward ran his fingers over the emblem, a secret smile tugging at the edge of his lips.

 

Something feral and possessive stirred in Carlisle as he watched. That beautiful man was his, marked and claimed even if they were the only two who knew. The only thing stopping him from breaking his own rule right then was the sound of two other doctors conversing one aisle over. Oh what could he do with these benches.

 

Carlisle retreated to the locker where he’d stored his own bag, lost in thought about what he had planned the next time he had a few hours alone with Edward.

 

After he’d calmed himself down a bit--no reason to traumatize Dr. Stanley--Carlisle’s thoughts turned to the potential problem Edward presented. Something about Edward's reaction the day he'd made him uncomfortable was niggling at him.

 

He hated that feeling like he was missing something, and he especially hated his doubt. He’d never had a sub who didn’t cry. It was common, not only during punishments, but other moments as well. Submission was a powerful thing. He’d had a sub named James once who wore eye makeup. Very tough man, but the first time they broke one of his barriers, he’d sobbed so hard his whole body shook. Carlisle remembered vividly how pretty he’d looked with his guyliner running down his cheeks.

 

The sound of his phone chiming drew him from his abstraction. A glance told him it was a text from Esme and for a moment, his thoughts turned to her. An important personal anniversary was upcoming. One that often had her falling into her old, self-recriminating habits.

 

Carlisle paused mid-thought, a connection slipping into place in his mind. It was the way Edward had gotten upset that day. His anger triggered when Carlisle pushed him to talk, but why?  Embarrassment was the obvious answer, backed up by the way Edward spoke of it.

 

"It's stupid," he'd said repeatedly. In the same way Esme had often said, "I'm stupid for feeling this way. "

 

Carlisle pondered that thought as he dressed. It was something to look out for, certainly, but at the moment, he and Edward had a more immediate, or at least much less complex, issue that needed to be addressed. He had plans, oh yes.

 

As he came around the corner again, he was just in time to see another doctor put his hand to the small of Edward’s back as he leaned in to speak with him. A strange anger flickered low in Carlisle’s belly, and his hands balled in fists at his side. Dr. Demetri Krushnic was five years younger than he was, very well known in his field and very, very gay.

 

And Carlisle did not like him touching his pet.

 

Shocked by the strength of the territorial anger rising in him, Carlisle took a physical step back. It took him a few tense moments to recognize the feeling rising in him as jealousy. Intense jealousy. There wasn’t much he wanted more in the world at that very moment than to get Edward as far away from Demetri as possible as quickly as he could.

 

Get him away and make sure Edward never thought twice about that bewitching grin.

 

Edward had his head tilted to the side, his expression attentive. He listened for a moment and then his lips twitched up in a grin. He looked up at Demetri from under his eyelashes and nodded.

 

Rage making his face glow hot. Carlisle turned down the other aisle, leaving the room. He headed for his car and was already halfway home before the irrational fury receded enough that he could think. When it did, he exhaled in a gust, slumping in his seat as he did.

 

What the hell business did he think he had feeling this possessive of Edward? The man wasn’t his, at least, not in that sense.

 

Being someone’s Dom was such a beautiful and unique relationship. It was why Esme could build her life with her husband, share all her dreams, ambitions, and daily life with him, and yet only trusted Carlisle with this part of herself. Control. It was only to be trusted with someone who didn’t want to use it for their own gain.

 

Of course, it was more than possible to be both someone’s Dom and their significant other. In Carlisle’s mind, that was an ideal situation, to be able to trust one single person with every part of yourself. But the need to submit wasn’t something everyone could understand, and being a Dom was a responsibility not everyone could handle.   

 

Esme’s voice, teasing him about Edward, came back to him. Was it possible…

 

But no. That was ridiculous. It was simply that Carlisle wasn’t used to seeing his subs outside a scene setting. He usually had no idea of the minute details going on with their lives. It was always going to be a complication that Carlisle wasn’t only Edward’s Dom but his mentor and supervising attending. He shared with Edward an intimacy that transcended lovers. Of course he was territorial. He had claimed that part of Edward; it was only natural for his subconscious to want all of him.

 

Pulling the car into his driveway, Carlisle took a deep breath, trying to center himself. It was none of his business whom Edward flirted with. His irrational fit of jealousy was his own problem. He was adult enough not to give in to the possessive temper tantrum that had almost overcome him in the locker room.

 

Besides, he thought, entering the house and going directly to retrieve the things he would need for that evening’s fun, whatever Demetri’s intentions were, it was Carlisle who would have Edward at his mercy tonight.

**~0~**

By the time he had Edward nude and kneeling before him, Carlisle was fully back in control of himself. Especially after his gaffe a few days before, it was important that Carlisle remain focused in the moment. Edward deserved nothing less than his full attention.

 

Hands clasped behind his back, a crop held loosely in one of them, Carlisle took slow, measured steps in a wide circle. He could see his sub’s eyes following him, dark with lust and bright with anticipation. When Edward twisted his head to follow his path, Carlisle brought the crop up. He pressed the leather bit against Edward’s chin, guiding his head front forward.

 

Edward was a quick learner. As Carlisle circled him, he didn’t move his head again. “Good boy.” Carlisle rewarded him, caressing his hair as he passed. But then he resumed his pacing in an ever-widening circle.

 

It only took a few minutes before Edward couldn’t take it any more. “If the plan is to drive me insane, you’re succeeding, sir.”

 

Carlisle clucked his tongue, keeping up the slow gate around and around. “It seems, little boy, that we have a problem that I intend to address. We had this conversation once before about patience, didn’t we?”

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

“How soon we forget. So we’re going to do something about this problem of yours. Patience is a virtue, after all.” He paused behind Edward, running the head of the crop up his spine as he spoke. “Don’t you agree?”

 

“Ahh.” Edward shivered with the soft touch of the crop. “I can think of better ones, sir.”

 

Carlisle chuckled. “Stand up.”

 

Edward did, and Carlisle pressed the head of the crop to the center of his back, propelling him forward.

 

In a continuing theme of hiding in plain sight, Carlisle had modified the wide frame of the doorway that lead from the living room to the entryway. He’d long ago had the door removed, and had metal hoops placed on either side. Usually, those hoops held tasteful bits of art. Carlisle had cleared those away. He moved Edward to stand in the doorway.

 

“How did I never see those?” Edward murmured, getting the idea quickly.

 

Carlisle cupped his cheek, turning his head back toward him for a kiss--a lingering, heated one. Edward moaned into his mouth. Carlisle was proud. Edward kept his hands obediently clenched behind his back. Pulling away, Carlisle pinched his cheek. “You’ve been rather distracted when you come here.”

 

Setting the crop to the side, Carlisle brushed his hand down Edward’s neck, his arm. He ran a thumb over the leather cuff he’d given him and leaned in for one more kiss. As he did, he worked his fingers around the cuff, loosening the bindings.

 

Edward made a little noise of protest as Carlisle took the cuff away. “Calm down, pet,” he said. “I’ll give it back. I need your wrist today.” He slipped a leather buckle around his wrist, tightening it.

 

In a few minutes, Edward’s arms were spread eagle above his head. “Good?” Carlisle asked, checking to make sure there was enough give.

 

“Uh, yeah.” Edward’s cheeks were flushed, and he was already half-mast.

 

“Be sure.” Carlisle took Edward’s chin in his hand, studying his full lips for a moment and allowing himself one more sweet taste. “Because you’re not going to be able to use that talented mouth of yours for a while.”

 

Edward’s breath stuttered. “Oh, hell.”

 

Carlisle pinched his ass. “Pay attention, little one. This is something you’re going to remember or I’ll make sure you’ll regret it.” He smiled sweetly and grabbed one of the other items he’d left within reach. He held it up for Edward, watching the way his eyes widened.

 

“You see, when I have you here like this, I expect you to be quiet.” He ducked under Edward’s arms to stand behind him. “You will wait for me to touch you and instruct you, and you will do it without complaint or begging. But I can’t expect you to be able to do this right away.” He reached around to squeeze Edward’s chin again affectionately. “You like using your mouth almost as much as I do. Open.”

 

Edward huffed but obediently opened his mouth, letting Carlisle slip the red rubber ball of the gag in between his teeth.

 

They were at that stage now where Carlisle was comfortable adding something like a ball gag to their play. Despite teasing Edward about earlier on, it wasn’t something he messed with unless he was certain of his ability to read his sub’s physical cues and he was certain he could trust his sub to signal with body or eye language if there was any urgent discomfort.

 

When he had the ball gag fastened, he stepped back around Edward. He tilted his head, his ear near Edward’s mouth. “Ahh. Blissful silence.”

 

Edward grunted, and Carlisle kissed the side of his cheek. “There. Now let’s dress you up a little, hmm?”

 

He started by securing Edward’s legs with a spreader bar at the ankles. As he stood, he trailed the tips of his fingers up the back of his leg. Edward squirmed as he tickled the undersides of his balls.

 

“I got you a present, baby.” Carlisle licked the tip of his finger and circled it around each of Edward’s nipples. “Do you want to see it?”

 

Edward breathed in through his nose and nodded eagerly.

 

Reaching over to his table full of goodies, Carlisle held up the purchase he’d made just that afternoon. He watched Edward’s eyes spark when he saw the item--pretty, shiny new nipple clamps. They were silver with a chain attached between them and an emerald dangling from the end of each of them. “They match your favorite plug, see?”

 

Edward met his eyes and nodded.

 

Ducking his head, Carlisle licked and sucked at Edward’s nipples until they were hard nubs underneath his tongue. Then he slipped the clamps on at the same time, letting them snap in place instead of easing them on. Edward’s body jolted, and he pulled at his cuffs. He groaned when Carlisle gave the chain a little yank, just testing.

 

“Almost done, sweetheart. Just one more thing and you’ll be all ready.”

 

He jaunted off to the kitchen and removed the last item from where he’d stored it in the freezer. He set it down for a moment, long enough to lube Edward’s asshole. Then he pressed the tip of the ice cold plug at his entrance.

 

Edward groaned, squirming as Carlisle worked it into him. It was a metal piece that was made for temperature play. It would be like holding an ice cube that didn’t melt.

 

“There now,” Carlisle said, and he patted Edward’s ass, tapping the plug as he did. “You look so pretty, baby.”

 

An arm around Edward’s waist, Carlisle wrapped his hand around his cock and began to stroke as he spoke low in the other man’s ears. “Now, little boy. You’re not going to come tonight until I’m deep inside you.” He nipped at his lobe. “And you’re only going to get my cock when I’m good and ready to give it to you. Understand?”

 

Edward made a muffled sound of assent, nodding.

 

Carlisle tightened his hand around Edward’s cock as he continued to stroke him, paying attention to the signals of his body and how labored his breath was. When he was sure Edward was beginning to climb that last peak before orgasm, he let him go, stepping away.

 

Edward closed his eyes tight, whimpering . Carlisle kissed his cheek gently. “Stay. Good boy.”

 

And then he walked away.

 

He went to sit on the couch and turned on the TV, relaxing back with his arms spread wide.

 

Edward probably wouldn’t have believed it, but this was just as much torture for Carlisle as it was for him. The other man was unbelievably gorgeous, especially looking as he did now, trussed up, flushed, his green eyes dark as he looked at him with longing, and his cock standing erect and engorged. Carlisle’s mouth was dry with the strength of his want.

 

But no. He was going to make this last.

 

He watched Edward out of the corner of his eyes, waiting for warning signs. When he started to calm, Carlisle would stand. Sometimes he teased him by ignoring him, brushing by him on the way to the restroom or to get a drink from the kitchen. Other times he would pick up the tickler he had set aside and he would run it over Edward’s body, tickling his most sensitive spots. He took the nipple clamps off and put them back on. And sometimes, he would tease his cock, stroking him or, once, dropping to his knees to lick and kiss the sensitive flesh.

 

Always, of course, if Edward started to approach orgasm, Carlisle backed off, stepped away, and went to go sit down again.

 

One such time, Edward made a long sound that, though it was muffled by the gag, was obviously him trying to speak. Carlisle lifted his head from the back of the couch, watching his wiggling sub with a bemused expression. “Now, see that? That’s why Daddy had to gag you this time. Because you would have gotten yourself in trouble if I hadn’t, wouldn’t you?”

 

Edward groaned and hung his head.

 

“What’s a matter, sweetheart?” Carlisle asked, moving his hands to the button of his jeans and undoing it. “You seem a little restless.”

 

He took his jeans off along with his boxers, tossing them to the side and leaning back on the couch, his legs spread wide. Edward had raised his head and was watching. Even across the room he looked hungry.

 

“Is this what you want?” Carlisle asked, wrapping his fingers around his own cock. There was relief in the touch. Edward wasn’t the only one who’d been nursing a painful erection for a while. “You want this, baby?” he asked, beginning to stroke himself.

 

Edward groaned, his eyes following the movement.

 

Carlisle rested his head on the back of the sofa, spreading his legs wider to allow Edward a better view. He sighed, catching Edward’s eyes, holding them as he rubbed and stroked himself. “Oh, little boy. You know how much I want you? Do you want this in your mouth? You do, don’t you? Good little cocksucker you are. Is this what you want?”

 

Edward nodded.

 

“Are you sure you want this in your mouth?” Carlisle let his voice get breathy, riding the jolts of pleasure that ran through him with his handy work. “Wouldn’t you like me somewhere else, hmm? You want me to fill you up?”

 

He threw his head back, moaning as he worked himself faster. “God, I swear, I’m going to fuck you so hard. You’re going to scream for me tonight, baby.” He raised his head, looking at Edward again. “Is that what you want?”

 

Edward nodded again, the movement fervent. His cheeks were deep red now, and he strained against his ties.

 

Carlisle, his eyes still on Edward, raking his form, obviously devouring him with his eyes, stroked himself to orgasm. He came in long strings on his stomach, and then he slumped back, closing his eyes for a few moments as he caught his breath.

 

After he’d wiped the mess from his stomach, Carlisle got up, in no rush, and walked slowly to Edward. He kissed his cheek. “There. That feels better.” He kissed the tip of his nose, knowing damn well the other man would have been all over him if he wasn’t bound. His eyes said as much, but Carlisle kept his tone conversational. “Now I won’t have to fuck you for another hour or so.”

 

With a little pat to the plug, Carlisle trotted off clean himself off, grinning but otherwise ignoring the low growl Edward called after him.

**~0~**

The promised hour later, Carlisle came up behind Edward, grasping his hips. He ground his erection against the younger man’s ass and bit the skin of his shoulder lightly. “I’m going to take this gag off, but I swear to you, Edward. You beg me…” He chuckled. “Or curse me, the only thing you’ll be getting tonight is a bright red ass. You get me?”

 

Edward nodded, his nostrils flaring with his quick breaths.

 

Carlisle eased the gag out of his mouth, and Edward panted, flexing his jaw. Carlisle helpfully rubbed it for him, pressing his head to the crook where Edward’s neck met his shoulders. He bit into the skin there, kissing and sucking, delighting in Edward’s gasp. He dropped to his knees, nipping each of his nether cheeks as he undid the binds to the spreader bar and took out the plug. He stood again, pressing his chest against Edward’s back as he undid the leather straps. Keeping his hands around Edward’s wrists, he helped his sub lower his arms.

 

Taking the chain that connected his nipple clamps, Carlisle gave Edward a tug.

 

“Agh,” Edward cried out. “Oh, god.” The words were strangled, breathless with need.

 

But he didn’t beg.

 

“Come along,” Carlisle said, giving the clamps another tug. He pulled Edward with him into the living room and sat down on the couch, pulling him down on his lap. “Is this what you want, baby?” He thrust up, his cock pressed between their bodies.

 

Edward started to say something, but then he swallowed and tried again. “I want whatever you want to give me, sir.”

 

Carlisle moved his hand to rub along the inside of Edward’s thighs. “Very good. You’re so good for me.” He used his legs to spread Edward’s further apart. “So if I didn’t want to fuck you yet?”

 

Edward groaned, tilting his head back to rest against Carlisle. “I’ll wait. I’ll wait for you to give me your cock when you’re ready.”

 

“Good boy. You learn quickly.” Carlisle turned his head to rumble in Edward’s ear. “I want you now,” he said, digging his hands into Edward’s hips, encouraging him to lift. “Tell me how you want my cock.”

 

“Oh, fuck. Yes, please. Daddy, I want your cock inside me. I want you to fill me. Please. I need you in me.” Edward lifted up, and Carlisle guided him down on his cock. They both groaned when he was buried deep.

 

Carlisle moved his hands first to the chain that dangled from Edward’s nipples. He tugged, grunting as Edward clenched around him.

 

He moved in Edward, hard and fast as he’d promised.

 

“Fuck. Fuck, I--”

 

To stop Edward from getting in trouble, and because he wanted to, Carlisle kissed him. He plunged his tongue in the younger man’s mouth, fucking him that way too, swallowing his words and all the little noises that vibrated against his lips. He fucked him, and when they were both on the cusp of madness, Carlisle took his boy’s cock in his hand and brought them to orgasm together.

 

They lounged together, both of them boneless, afterward. Carlisle wasn’t in any rush. He liked holding Edward like this, stroking his fingers down the man’s lithe body. He took the clamps off him, rubbing the tender area around his nipple when Edward hissed at the sensation.

 

“Are you okay?” Carlisle asked, kissing the side of his mouth.

 

“Mmmhmm.” He turned his head a bit to look at Carlisle. “Can I ask you for one thing?”

 

“Depends on what it is.”

 

Edward rubbed his wrists. They were a little red from the chafing--not bad. “Can I have my cuff back?”

 

A warmth sparked at the center of Carlisle’s chest spreading outward as he smiled. He puffed up a little with pride, tickled and maybe unreasonably smug. “Yes, of course. It’s right there.” He nodded where the thing rested on a nearby shelf and gave Edward a small push off his lap.

 

When he came back, he sunk down on the floor in front of Carlisle, offering him the cuff and then his wrist. Carlisle clicked the snaps into place, and then, on impulse, he took Edward’s hand, twining their fingers together, squeezing briefly before he let go.

  
“Come up here,” he murmured, pulling Edward back to his feet, back down on his lap because he was suddenly sure he wasn’t done kissing him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: My DARLING Barburella tried to pull a fast one on me. I asked her what last name Demetri should have and the cheeky biesh said Belikov. She almost got away with it except two of my other girls had weird reaction and I Googled. HAUMPH.
> 
> Lol, I was amused. 
> 
> Anyway. I’ll see you soon, kids.


	10. Booty Call

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello, lovelies! Let’s get down to it.

“Christ, you look like a crime scene.”

 

Edward glanced at Emmett once before he yanked his bloody scrub top up and off. “Was called down to the ER. Gunshot victim. He was delirious, struggling.”

 

“I heard about it. You save him?”

 

“Dr. Cullen did, but you know, I suppose I helped a bit.” Edward grinned at the other man, beaming with pride in his mentor and sure, for himself as well. “Give me a minute.”

 

Edward headed for the showers, desperate to get under a cool spray.

 

Surgeries, like that one, put doctors in a surreal headspace. During the surgery, everything moved with lightning quickness, and everyone involved had to make split-second decisions. Outwardly, they had to be calm, cool, collected, but also fast and sure. There wasn’t any room for panic or fear. It took a few minutes after surgery, after his brain was done analyzing and re-analyzing the choices he’d made--or that he’d seen made--for emotion to kick back in.

 

In the case of a surgery that, after too many hours and many, many near misses, ended in a triumph, Edward was starting to hit an intense high. His hands shook with the strength of it, energy vibrating through every inch of his bloodstream. It was the kind of energy that demanded to be spent.

 

Edward turned the cool water to cold, trying to regain control of his body.

 

There was one way he knew for sure--his favorite method of dealing with the adrenaline, the nerve-wracking rush. It was an impossibility. Unless he was going to somehow convince Straighty McStraighersons Emmett McCarty to push him up against the shower wall, it wasn’t going to happen.

 

Of course, it wasn’t Emmett who Edward wanted. No.

 

Edward rested his head briefly against the side of the shower stall. Watching Carlisle work was never not a turn on. He was horny as hell, and he wanted nothing more in the world than to find the man and mount him. Nothing mattered more than his need to have Carlisle inside him.

 

Impossible for a lot of reasons. He still had half his shift to get through first of all. Not to mention, he didn’t want to find out what Carlisle would do to him for even thinking about messing around at work.

 

Taking a few more deep breaths, Edward turned the shower off.

 

He was already dressed when he got back into the locker room. Dressed and distracted, which was why he didn’t see Emmett until the other doctor was pulling his shirt up. Edward twisted out of his grip but too late. Emmett let out a whoop, chuckling.

 

“Damn, Doogie. You have a kinky girlfriend you didn’t tell me about?”

 

Edward pushed down his shirt. “How the fuck, Emmett?”

 

“Your undershirt rode up earlier. Thought I recognized a few hickies. On the back, Edward?”

 

This wasn’t going to help anything. Already, Edward was remembering Carlisle on his knees, carefully marking him not only on his lower back, but a bit lower than that as well. He smirked and glanced at his friend. “Ah, Emmett.” He patted the other man on the arm. “No, I don’t have a girlfriend. She would be a little concerned by the fact I suck a lot of dick.”

 

Somehow, Edward managed to get to door without laughing at Emmett’s fly-catching expression.

 

As he walked down the hall, he pressed his hand to the small of his back, trying not to think about Carlisle but failing. The rest of his day was going to be hard in more ways than one.

 

“Edward.”

 

A jolt went through him. His whole body was instantly alert, the energy already buzzing in his veins speeding to a speed-of-light pace. He turned his head, struggling to find calm when he craved action. “Yes, Dr. Cullen?”

 

But meeting Carlisle’s eyes, Edward’s breath left his body.

 

Oh, sex was so on. And that made sense too. After all, it was more his win than Edward’s. Of course he was riding the same high, and they were on the same page.

 

“Lunch?” Carlisle asked.

 

Edward swallowed hard, but his voice was scratchy as fuck when he answered. “Yeah. Sure.”

**~0~**

“Jesus Christ, your back seat is huge. Ah!” Edward cried out as Carlisle entered him hard, pressing his legs back.

 

“Ffffuck,” Carlisle hissed through clenched teeth. He leaned in, kissing Edward as he began to move in him. “I feel like...there must be...some clever retort...I could make here,” he said between pants and thrusts.

 

“Oh, god. More. Please.” With his legs in the air, he scrambled to find a place to brace himself. “I think, uh. Oh, hell. Fuck. I think the retort you’re looking for is something like, ‘Your back seat is huge.’ or...God. Fuck me. Yes. Uh. ‘I’m more concerned with your backseat.’ Jesus, Daddy, please.”

 

“I am enjoying the hell out of your backseat, little boy. God, you’re so good, baby.”

 

Minutes later, they were both in need of another shower, but they were sitting up straight again,  Edward with his knees on either side of Carlisle’s lap, making out as they came down off their highs.

 

“You know,” Carlisle said, kissing him again. “Doing this without being in scene is really just a booty call.”

 

Edward laughed, looping his arms playfully around the back of Carlisle’s neck, holding on to him. “Well, you can spank me if you want, but that’d make me horny all over again, and we’d be late getting back to the hospital. And if I’m late getting back to the hospital, I might get in trouble. And if I get in trouble at work, my Daddy told me I’d definitely get it at home.”

 

Carlisle rolled his eyes and kissed him quiet again.

 

“I needed a damn booty call,” Edward said when they parted again. “You did too. There’s nothing wrong with you getting your needs met while you’re taking care of me.”

 

“My needs are very well attended to, sweetheart.” A strange expression came over Carlisle’s face; one Edward didn’t know how to read. “So you needed a nooner, hmm? And you’re okay with it being me instead of...well, whomever?”

 

Edward huffed, a little incredulous. “Are you fucking kidding me? Are you asking if I’d have been disappointed having a one-afternoon stand with you? You, who are the epitome of every doctor fantasy for anyone who’s ever had a doctor fantasy? Have you looked in the mirror at all? You, with the body and the hair and those pretty blue eyes? You’re so damn hot, and if you don’t know it, you’re also delusional. If I’d met you in a bar, I’d have figured out a way to go home with you, even without your impressive array of medieval torture devices.”

 

“Has anyone ever told you you talk too damn much?” Carlisle kissed him again, but he pulled away all too quickly. The odd expression Edward couldn't couldn't read was back. He wasn't sure sure he liked the strange glint in the other man's eye. “Do you do that a lot?” Carlisle asked, the words lurching out of him as though he was unsure about what he was asking.

 

Well, that made two of them. Edward furrowed his brow. “What do you--” His phone rang, and the ringtone had the effect of throwing ice water on the whole situation. Edward’s stomach twisted, and he righted himself, sitting beside Carlisle instead of on top of him as he put his phone to his ear. “Father,” he said.

 

Edward wasn’t ashamed of who he was by a longshot. He wasn’t sure that he liked to use the expression "proud to be gay", because he didn’t believe it was something to take pride in. His eyes were green, he was twenty-three years old, and he was gay. They weren’t choices he made.

 

And his father wasn’t really homophobic, either, at least not in the widely used meaning meaning of that word. He accepted Edward, still loved him, all of that. In fact, not much had changed in the way they interacted. Still, there was an uncomfortable edge to their conversations whenever even the hint of Edward’s sexual preferences came up.

 

Either way, rational or not, Edward somehow felt his father would be able to tell he was half naked in the back of his boss’s car having just been fucked into the seat. There was a lot about that his father wouldn’t approve of.

 

After a minute, Carlisle handed Edward his pants, and they both started to dress again as Edward spoke to his father.

 

“Yeah, that would be great.”

 

“Yes, Junior. Not yeah. Yeah sounds so low class.”

 

Edward had to fight not to roll his eyes. He’d heard that line a million times growing up. “Yes, sir. It would be great if you and Mom came for a visit.”

 

Carlisle held the door open so Edward could climb out and get back in the passenger seat. He started to brush the hair back out of Edward’s eyes, but Edward ducked away, distracted by his father speaking in his ear.

 

“Yes, I’ll see you then, sir.” Edward ended the phone call and banged his head back against the headrest. “Fuck.”

 

“That good, hmm?” Carlisle asked.

 

“Oh, it’s fine.”

 

Edward rubbed his eyes. “My parents want to see the hospital.”

 

“That a problem?”

 

“No, it’s fine. They just haven’t keyed into the fact I’m not twelve years old anymore.”

 

Carlisle turned to look at him briefly with wide eyes. “You were a teenager four years ago, Edward.”

 

“Four years ago, I was a teenager one semester away from graduating college hella early because I graduated high school early and with a million college credits already.”

 

“A million? Wow, that is impressive.” Carlisle pulled the car into the parking garage. “They must be proud of you.”

 

“I’m twenty-three, and I’m a doctor. I can murder someone, and they’d have that to fall back on as a brag story. I’m set for life.” He got out of the car, hands in his pockets. “They’re going to want to meet you.”

 

“I guess I could pretend you’re a halfway competent surgeon for a few hours.”

**~0~**

The days leading up to his parents’ visit, Edward was tense. And when Edward was tense, he tended to be a moody little shit.

 

Which was why he shouldn’t have been surprised when he found himself upended over his Dom’s knee, being spanked with a small paddle made to brand the word ‘brat’ on his buttcheeks. He had to meet his parents for dinner in thirty minutes.

 

“Didn’t you tell me just a few days ago you didn’t want to be treated like a child?” Carlisle asked.

 

The tips of Edward’s ears burned to match the fire in his ass. “Yes, sir,” he said, trying his best not to squirm.

 

“Yet, you still insist on displays of incredible immaturity. Tell me what happens to naughty little boys.”

 

Edward blew out a breath, bowing his head so it almost touched the floor. “They get spanked over their Daddy’s knees.”

 

“That’s right.” He finished him off two particularly hard thwacks of the paddle. “Now get up, my bad boy.”

 

Edward stood, his breath ragged, and clasped his hands on top of his head.

 

“Come here.” Carlisle took him by the arm, leading him into the bottom floor bathroom. He turned him so he was facing away from the mirror and then whistled lowly. He rubbed Edward’s tender as hell, burning ass with a light touch. “Look at this.”

 

Taking a breath, Edward looked over his shoulder at his reflection. Each of his ass cheeks had an impressively even stripe right at the middle with the word 'brat' a light pink against the red.

 

“Now,” Carlisle said, rubbing each globe one at a time. Without warning he delivered a series of smacks to the mostly-white area around the red stripes. Edward gasped, shifting on his feet, catching himself just before he took his hands off his head. “I know you want to come off as the big boy you actually are to your parents. I’m going to make sure you remember how to be a good boy with them. You understand?”

 

“Yes, sir. Thank you.”

 

When Carlisle had gotten the rest of his ass pink and warm, he stopped. “There now. There’s my good boy,” he murmured, stroking his fingers through Edward’s hair.

 

Edward closed his eyes, letting the guilty tension ease a bit with Carlisle’s words. He held himself tall and straight, knowing from long experience what his Dom wanted from him. He wasn’t off the hook yet. He waited as Carlisle wrapped an arm around his waist and kissed his cheek.

 

“I have a few things that will help you be good.” He kissed the shell of his ear, murmuring so the rumbling words sent a shiver down Edward’s spine. “And I have a few things that will make you remember your daddy when you’re with your parents.”

 

Edward groaned. Carlisle patted his bottom, making him jump a bit. “Stay,” he said, and then he was gone.

 

When he came back, he set three items on the counter that made Edward bite the inside of his cheek. Part of him wanted to protest. There was no way he could wear this in front of his parents even though he knew rationally they wouldn't be able to tell. They couldn’t possibly know, but Jesus. His parents were a little uptight and Carlisle obviously wanted Edward squirming, thinking about getting on his hands and knees for a man closer in age to them than him.

 

Oh, hell. That was also so hot, he was already getting hard. And Carlisle knew it.

 

He tsked, wrapping a hand around Edward’s cock and giving him a firm tug before letting go. “None of that. It’s getting late, baby. We need to get you all dressed up and out the door.” He picked up the nipple clamps from the counter. They were much smaller than those he’d used to help teach Edward patience; small enough that they wouldn’t show under his shirt.

 

Edward whimpered when Carlisle slipped the clamps on. The squeeze had his nipples harder and the pressure got worse.

 

“Good boy,” Carlisle said. “Now put your hands on the counter and bend for me.”

 

Edward did, breathing deep as Carlisle spread his cheeks and pressed the tip of a lubed-up, thick plug against his asshole. It was made for longer-term wear; slim at one end so his asshole would close tight around it, keeping it in place, and flared out wider in the middle. He was going to be feeling the stretch and burn all night long.

 

Thank god, it was only dinner.

 

“And I bought these just for you, because if you’re going to act like a spoiled little boy, you’re going to be treated like one.” Carlisle helped Edward step into little boy underwear. It was too large to be actual child’s underwear, but it was far too tight and constricting for comfort, and had cartoon representations of The Avengers printed on it. “I know you like those pretty boys,” Carlisle said, giving him a few forceful pats to his well-punished bottom.

 

Carlisle took Edward’s face in his hands and kissed him. “Now you’re ready. Go put your clothes on, and I’ll see you in a couple of hours.”

**~0~**

Torture. It was two hours of torture.

 

How the hell was Edward supposed to concentrate on stilted conversation with his parents when he was trapped in a vicious cycle? Carlisle had spanked him just hard enough that his tight boy-panties rubbed his tender flesh the wrong way...or was it the right way? It made him squirm, not only to alleviate the ache but also because sporting an even partial erection with his parents sitting right across from him was never not going to be awkward. The wiggling set off the stretch-burn of the plug. Then his nipples got hard all over again, sending painful bolts of lightning from those sensitive little nubs right down to his cock.

 

It had gotten him a lecture from his father about not listening. Sitting on a spanked butt reminded him not to be rude to his parents, and he’d tried to pay attention the rest of dinner.

 

By the time he was at Carlisle’s door, he was out of his mind with need. He had spent the drive over thinking about the best way to approach his Dom to get his cock as quickly as possible.

 

To that end, Carlisle had no sooner than opened his door than Edward had dropped to his knees. He took the other man’s hand and kissed his fingertips, his fingers, the back of his hand.

 

Carlisle chuckled, running his fingers through Edward’s hair with his free hand. “If I didn’t know any better, pet, I’d think you wanted something from me.” He tugged at his chin. “Come inside.”

 

Edward got to his feet and let Carlisle pull him into the house and into a hard kiss. Edward couldn’t help his whimper. He wanted to jump on Carlisle, wrap his legs around him and beg, but he knew exactly what would happen if he did that. He would just end up naked and tied up spread eagle in the doorway, learning a lesson on patience.

 

So when Carlisle released him from his kiss, Edward sunk back down on his knees again, hands clasped behind his back, eyes on his Dom, waiting.

 

“Such a good boy.” Carlisle caressed his cheek and chin. “Have you been thinking about me, baby?”

 

Edward nodded, taking Carlisle’s finger in his mouth when he passed it over his lips.

 

“What else have you been thinking about?”

 

Edward took a deep breath, his cheeks pinking. “That I shouldn’t have been so immature, and I shouldn’t have been so rude to you, sir.”

 

“No, that’s now how adults act, is it?”

 

“No, sir.”

 

“Good. Stand up.”

 

Edward stood, keeping his hands behind his back.

 

“Go bend over with your hands on the couch.”

 

Edward obeyed, sticking his butt out. He breathed evenly as Carlisle approached him at a slow pace. He was dying for touch, but he wasn’t at all sure if he was in for another spanking. After all, Carlisle had only had a limited time to punish him earlier.

 

Then again, the whole evening had been a punishment, hadn’t it?

 

Carlisle reached around him, unbuttoning his pants and letting them slide down to puddle at his feet. He rubbed Edward over his little boy panties, then tugged those down too. It was a relief to have his butt out in the open air, even if he was in for it.

 

But Carlisle traced the lettering on his butt with the tip of one finger and hummed admiringly. Edward heard a click, and a moment later, the cool, slippery feeling of lube around the edges of the plug.

 

“Breathe, baby,” Carlisle said, rubbing Edward’s back with one hand as he eased the plug out of him. It was dry, a little uncomfortable, but Carlisle went slow.

 

Carlisle entered him next with two well-lubed fingers. “This better, sweetheart?”

 

“Yes, sir. Thank you.” Edward rested his head against the back of the couch. It felt so good, he whimpered, pressing back into Carlisle’s hand. He wanted so much more than this, but he had to be patient.

 

Luckily, he didn’t have to wait for long. “Take off your clothes, and kneel on the couch, little boy.”

 

Eager, Edward was quick to obey. Carlisle knelt behind him and leaned over him on the couch. He rubbed his cheek against Edward’s and kissed the side of his mouth. “You want Daddy’s cock, baby?”

 

Edward nodded, swallowing hard. “Yeah. Yes. Yes, Daddy please.”

 

“Then you better grab a hold of the couch there and hold on.” Carlisle snaked a hand around his waist, first releasing him from the nipple clamps, then taking his cock in his hand. “Because I’m going to fuck you so hard tonight.”

 

As always, Carlisle was as good as his word. He took Edward hard, fucking into him with such force, Edward was surprised the wood in the back of the couch didn’t give under his grip.

 

Edward came so hard, he screamed.

 

When they’d both caught their breaths, Carlisle tweaked Edward’s tender nipples. “Gah. Jesus.”

 

“Again. Not Jesus. My name is Carlisle.” He patted Edward’s cheek. “Come now, my boy. Get on your hands and knees. I want you in my bed tonight in case I feel the need to fuck you again later.”

 

Edward huffed, feeling his cheeks heat. He slid off the couch onto his hands and knees, waiting obediently. When Carlisle stood and headed to the stairs, Edward followed, crawling after him.

 

But once in his room, Carlisle pulled Edward to his feet and into the shower. It was a long shower, because they kept getting distracted with kisses that tasted of heated rivulets of water. It didn’t take long before Edward stirred under Carlisle’s hand and then the man brought him to orgasm again with his hand, silencing his moan with a hard kiss.

 

After the shower, Edward found himself kneeling again on the plush bath mat, sighing in satisfaction as Carlisle towel-dried his hair for him. “Thank you, Daddy,” he said. “I needed that.”

 

“Hmm. Tense, were you?”

 

Edward nodded, his eyes closed.

 

“You want to tell me how dinner went?”

 

Edward opened his eyes, looking up at Carlisle, and shook his head. He didn’t want to think about his parents right then.

 

“Fair enough.” He stroked Edward’s cheek, looking down at him with lust in his eyes. “You’re so beautiful, pet.” He traced the shape of Edward’s lips.

  
When he uncinched the belt of his robe, Edward knew what to do. He took Carlisle’s cock in his mouth, stroking the backs of his knees as he brought him to his second release. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: SO! Hi.
> 
> I’ve decided I’m not going to update this story again until 2015. So there. Neener.


	11. Happy Birthday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: WELP. You waited patiently, pets. It’s next year. Here’s the chapter I promised you in 2015. Hope you aren’t too hungover to read it. ;)

An odd sensation woke Carlisle early one morning. It was a persistent tickle that began at the side of his nose. He grunted, not wanting to let go of sleep. The itch moved down, trailing along Carlisle's neck and centering on his chest. It probably should have bugged him--was it a spider?--but Carlisle only smacked at his chest, trying to bat it away.

 

The itch laughed.

 

Carlisle opened his eyes, blinking in the muted light. He’d gone to bed alone the night before, that much he was sure of. He pushed himself upright, sitting back against the headboard as his eyes adjusted. “Edward?”

 

The Edward-apparition grinned and stood. He was naked. And sexy. Always sexy.  "What are you doing here?" Carlisle asked, still confused. Edward had, Carlisle vaguely remembered, sweet-talked him into giving him a spare key last week so he could have dinner ready after a long shift. He grew only more perplexed when Edward dropped out of sight. "Where did you go?"

 

Edward was back in a minute, climbing onto the bed on his hands and knees. He had one of Carlisle’s belts between his teeth. As he crawled back up the bed, Carlisle started to accept the fact he was actually awake. "Baby, what are you doing?" He reached out, touching Edward’s soft hair, assuring himself that he was real and touchable.

 

Edward leaned his head down, placing the belt on Carlisle’s lap and sitting up straight. His grin was impish. “I figured you might want to let me take your birthday spanking for you.”

 

Carlisle raised an eyebrow, his cock already jumping at the idea. He picked up the doubled-over belt and doubled it again. He used it to tilt Edward’s chin up to study him. “You know how old I am today, little boy? You want forty swats and one to grow on?”

 

Edward’s grin only widened. “I know how old you are, Daddy.”

 

“Well, then.” Carlisle rolled his neck from one side to the other, stretching. He stood, letting the doubled belt hang from his hand. He picked up two of his pillows and laid them in the middle of the bed. “Get your ass up in the air, little boy.”

 

Edward was quick to move into position. Carlisle took a minute to admire the sight in front of him. His boy had a beautiful ass. Nice and round and tight. Carlisle ran his fingers over the backs of Edward’s legs, watching his body respond to his touch.

 

“Count,” he said simply and landed the first swat.

 

All things considered, it was a great birthday present. Edward knew how much Carlisle liked seeing his mark on him, the visual reminder of the time they spent together. He knew how much Carlisle liked seeing him squirm, liked that he felt his touch for hours, if not days, after they were together. He also took satisfaction in the fact Edward liked it as much as he did.

 

And though Carlisle kept the swats moderate--this was a playful spanking after all-- after forty-one swats, Edward’s skin was well marked.

 

Carlisle set aside his belt and laid down beside Edward on the bed. He rubbed his back and then his ass. “Look how pretty you are, sweetheart. You feel that?”

 

“Uh, yeah, Daddy. I think I felt that all forty-one times.” He was still smiling, full of cheek as usual.

 

Carlisle grabbed his hand and pressed it to his ass. “I meant the heat. We could make breakfast on your ass right now.”

 

“Again, this is actually my ass. Believe me, I feel the heat.”

 

“Hmm.” Carlisle moved his hand to Edward’s back again and kissed him. “I think I’m going to fuck you, little boy.” He pushed himself up and got back to his feet. “Roll over, and come let your head hang over the bed.

 

Edward eyed him, a little perplexed, but he obeyed quickly as usual, flipping over to lay on his back, his head hanging over the bed near Carlisle.

 

“Open.” Carlisle tapped on his chin as he pulled his pajama bottoms down.

 

Getting the idea then, Edward opened his mouth.

 

It was a  position that gave Carlisle near complete control. Edward couldn’t bob his head, so Carlisle was effectively fucking his mouth at his own speed and discretion. “Get me good and wet. I’m too lazy to go downstairs to get lube, and you’re going to want me slick when I fuck you.”

 

There weren’t a lot of positions that required as much trust as this one did. Edward had almost no control, though he did cup his hands around the backs of Carlisle’s knees as he pushed deeper. “Oh, god, baby. Your mouth. Your pretty mouth.” Actually, it was the back of his throat Carlisle was enjoying right then, but he wasn’t exactly in an eloquent mood. He pumped carefully in and out of Edward’s mouth, letting him cover his cock in saliva. As he did, Carlisle ran his hands over his face, his nose. He ran a thumb over Edward’s full lips, circling himself where he disappeared into his sub’s hot mouth.

 

“I need you right now, little one.” Carlisle pulled out of Edward’s mouth and bodily flipped him back over, moving him back to the middle of his bed on his belly. He was over him in the next second, using his knees to spread Edward’s apart.

 

It was the smothering kind of sex. Every inch of Carlisle covered every inch of Edward. Even their hands were clasped above Edward’s head. Carlisle lifted his body away from the other man and then swallowed the space between them. Their grunts, moans, and the slap of their skin meeting was the only sound in the quiet morning. Carlisle tilted his head, burying his nose in Edward’s hair, breathing in their mingled scent. Intoxicating.

 

When he was spent, Carlisle only moved far enough that he was lying to the side of Edward instead of on top of him. Edward didn’t bother to roll to the side. remaining, like Carlisle, on his belly. They turned their heads, panting and looking at each other. Edward looked about as satisfied as he felt.

 

Carlisle raised a hand to rest it lightly on his cuff at Edward’s wrist. “Sweetheart, you’ve made this the best birthday I’ve had in at least five years, and it’s not even seven in the morning yet.”

 

Edward smiled. It was that pleased, shy smile Carlisle saw only on occasion. There was no arrogance, no bluster--just the happy smile of a beautiful boy who’d made his Daddy happy. “Yeah, I’m good like that,” he said.

 

Carlisle chuckled. Well. He supposed with Edward there was always a little bluster. He ran his fingers through the younger man’s hair, tracing idle patterns against his scalp. “Why aren't you at work?”

 

“Got my shift covered.” His grin spread wider. “I’m yours all day if you want me.”

 

Carlisle sighed, that peculiar warmth spreading slow across his chest, spreading through his blood right down to his toes. The corners of his lips curled up further than was necessary, and yet he couldn’t help himself. “I always want you,” he said without thinking.

 

Edward’s cheeks went pleasingly pink. “So what do you want to do with me?”

 

“Right now?” Carlisle yawned. “Sleep.” He knew for sure Edward hadn’t slept a lot in the last three days. He had to be tired. Carlisle rolled onto his side, pulling Edward closer. He caught the moment of tension and the surprise on Edward’s face and pulled back, realizing as many times as they’d slept side by side, they’d never cuddled. “Does this make you uncomfortable?”

 

“No.” But there was an obvious slight effort on Edward’s part to relax against Carlisle. He was awkward, like he didn’t know what to do. After a moment, he settled on resting his hand on Carlisle’s waist.

 

Carlisle stroked his fingers up and down Edward’s spine in a light, soothing gesture, studying him. “Tell me the truth. You’re not going to hurt my feelings.”

 

Edward huffed. “It’s not uncomfortable. It’s just you. Sometimes it’s still unexpected, that’s all.”

 

“What’s just me?”

 

“You like the soft stuff almost as much as you like the hard stuff. Like the way you touch my face sometimes. No one’s ever done that.” He ran his fingers over Carlisle’s arm. “It’s not something I associate with the scene. This. The holding part.”

 

Carlisle’s eyebrows knitted together. “The others you’ve been with?”

 

“Not like this.” Edward rolled his eyes. “I mean. Benjamin hugged me after he punished me. Of course. He did what he was supposed to. But not the way you do.”

 

“And it doesn’t make you uncomfortable,” Carlisle said again, needing to be clear.

 

“No. It’s...nice.” Then it was Edward who yawned. “I thought you were tired.”

 

Carlisle was. It was way too early to be awake when he hadn’t slept any more than Edward in the last three days. So he kissed Edward once and closed his eyes, falling asleep for the first time with his boy in his arms.

**~0~**

Some hours later, Edward came from the kitchen and set a brunch feast in front of Carlisle at the table. He settled on his knees at Carlisle’s side, his head on his lap, eating whatever his Dom fed him.

 

“Can I ask you something?” Edward said, looking up at him.

 

“Mhmm,” Carlisle hummed around a mouthful of French toast.

 

“Does your family not make a big deal about your birthday? I mean, forty is one of those milestone birthdays, isn’t it?”

 

The toast was painful to swallow when his throat had gone so dry. Carlisle picked up his coffee and took several large gulps. Clearing his throat, he tried to smile. “Ah. Well. My mother…” He had to clear his throat again. “My mother died when I was eight.”

 

Edward raised his head, compassion and sorrow easily readable on his face. “I’m sorry.”

 

Carlisle nodded, trying to dispel the heaviness that had come over him. “My father and I don’t really speak, and I have no siblings or close cousins.”

 

The younger man said nothing at first. He just pressed a kiss to Carlisle’s knee. Then he rose and sat on Carlisle’s lap, facing him. He wrapped his arms around his neck and kissed him. Carlisle tasted orange juice and bacon on his tongue.

 

“I’m sorry,” Edward said, pulling back.

 

The heaviness of the moment had passed, or at least Carlisle wasn’t willing to let his worst memories taint what had been a great day so far. Besides, there was a nubile boy on his lap willing to do just about anything for him.

 

Wrapping his arms firmly around Edward’s waist, he stood. When he was sure Edward had his legs wrapped around him well enough, he headed to the living room and his over-long coffee table. “I think I know what I’d rather have for breakfast,” he said, setting about the task of devouring his sub one lick and nip at a time.

**~0~**

Carlisle and Edward wore many hats with each other. Teacher and student. Attending and intern. Dom and sub. Friends.

 

Which was why Edward was at the bar with all Carlisle’s other friends. Normally, it wouldn’t be a problem. Carlisle had gone out with his subs once or twice as occasion demanded. With friends who didn’t know about his sexual proclivities, they were introduced as boyfriends.

 

Carlisle wouldn’t have minded that right about now. He’d never seen Edward like this--all spiffied up. He was ridiculously sexy. Carlisle couldn’t keep his eyes off him, and he wasn’t the only one. A fair number of the bar’s patrons, men and women alike, were staring.

 

Watching a pretty blond with a skin-tight skirt come over and whisper something in Edward’s ear, Carlisle had to push back the same irrational jealousy he’d felt when Dr. Krushnic approached the younger man. It was twice as silly, too. Not only was it none of Carlisle’s business whom Edward flirted with, but he knew damn well the boy’s Kinsey meter was set at hella gay. He’d been the kind who hadn’t been able to deny his sexuality even in grade school.

 

“You’re about as transparent as a bottle of water.”

 

Carlisle turned on his barstool and found himself facing Esme’s bright eyes and smug expression. “I was right,” she said.

 

He held out his arm. “I see no veins, muscles, et cetera, so you’re wrong about me being transparent.”

 

She twined her arm through his. “You want him.”

 

“I had him. Three times today. If we get out of this bar before midnight, we’ll hit four easy.” Carlisle wasn’t the kiss-and-tell type, but he and Esme wore many hats too. She was still his best friend.

 

Esme shook her head and kissed his cheek. “Happy birthday. I can tell him for you, if you’d like. Consider it a birthday gift.”

 

Carlisle hailed the bartender. “She needs something sweet and very alcoholic.”

 

“Ah, did someone call for me?” The stool on Carlisle’s other side was occupied by the last person he expected to show up.

 

“Garrett.” Carlisle pulled him Into a back slapping hug. "It’s been a long time."

 

"So it has. I'd apologize for not bringing you a gift, but it looks like I forgot I'd already gotten you something." He tapped his wrist surreptitiously and nodded to where Edward was standing across the room. Garrett had worn a cuff like Edward’s a few years back.

 

Carlisle turned to Esme. "This is Dr. Garrett Damon.  He works for the hospital that isn't as good as mine. He also outed me to Edward behind my back. Garrett, this is Esme Platt. She’s the reason the interior of my house is so well designed."

 

"Hello, beautiful." Garrett grandly kissed Esme’s hand. "I wondered whose impeccable tastes I had to thank for that glorious house.” He glanced at Carlisle. “And as for the other part, that was an accident. He was telling me about this fuckhot doctor he couldn't get out of his head, and I told him it sounds like this fuckhot Dr. Dom I had. It's not our fault we were talking about the same person. Obviously it worked out."

 

Esme leaned in, conferring with Garrett in a conspiratorial undertone. "I think Carlisle is in love with that boy."

 

Garrett's eyebrows shot up, and Carlisle rolled his eyes toward the ceiling, shaking his head.

 

"Ohhhh, really?" Garrett sounded highly amused.

 

"No," Carlisle said flatly.

 

"That's too bad," Garrett said. Carlisle recognized the feigned innocence in his voice easily enough. "I know I only talked to the lad that once, but I got the distinct impression he was head over heels in love with you."

 

Carlisle’s head snapped up, but before he could say anything, he felt a hand on his back that sent a thrill through him. Edward leaned past him, setting down one of the fruitiest looking drinks Carlisle had ever seen. “Your favorite,” he said with a wink.

 

The impulse to touch him, to wrap his arm around him, pull him closer, was almost overwhelming. Carlisle found himself breathing in deeply, as though his lungs had been hanging around half full until Edward came over.

 

He rubbed a hand over his mouth. Maybe he was getting to be more of a lightweight in his older age. Was he tipsy already?

 

“Thank you, Edward,” he said as though fruity drinks were indeed his favorite. “This is Esme Platt, and you know Garrett, of course.”

 

Edward’s lip twitched. “Yes, we’ve met.” He turned a dazzling smile on Esme. “Nice to meet you.”

 

“Edward,” Esme said, the words warm and sugar sweet. “Come sit by me.”

 

Carlisle had to stop himself from groaning, but he was somewhat relieved to have Edward out of reach. It would be easier not to touch him if Esme was between them. Alcohol really wasn’t a good method of keeping a clear head.

 

“Listen up, everyone,” Garrett called loud enough that the loose gathering of people could all hear. “Our mission is to get this man right here”--he clapped Carlisle’s shoulder-- “very, very drunk. Let’s get it done.”

 

Oh, Christ.

**~0~**

Keeping his hands to himself became progressively more difficult. By the time the night was over, Carlisle thought he would go out of his mind if he didn’t get his hands on Edward soon. This whole secrecy thing was for the birds. Still, he would never be careless with Edward’s career, so Carlisle kept himself in check.

 

Of course, when he’d finally been loaded into the passenger seat of Edward’s car, all bets were off.

 

He stroked Edward’s knee absently, trying to figure how far away from the bar they had to go to be considered safe.

 

“So,” Edward said as they drove. “What was that thing you and Garrett were talking about going to next month?”

 

“Hmmm?” Carlisle blinked, trying to get his brain to switch from his plan of attack to answer Edward’s odd question. “Oh. It’s an annual benefit gala for...something. I’ve been asked to speak.”

 

“I see. And you’re taking Garrett?”

 

There was, Carlisle realized belatedly, a hint of something dangerous in Edward’s tone. Hurt? Anger? Long trained to read his sub’s body language and tone, Carlisle knew something was amiss. It was just in his somewhat addled state, he couldn’t figure out what it was. The warning was subtle. Edward was typically a very cool and composed person in his everyday life.

 

Maybe that was where the warning bells were coming from. Carlisle didn’t think he was an obnoxious drunk, but he’d been humming and generally being just a little bit goofy for some hours now. Edward, his sassy, cheeky little boy, should have been having a field day, but he wasn’t.

 

Carlisle scrambled for the right words. “You’ll be invited when you have a few more years under your belt, I’m sure. You’re an impressive doctor, Edward.” He patted the other man’s cheek somewhat clumsily.

 

“Thank you for the vote of support. I was just curious, that’s all.” Edward’s voice remained steady, as though he was almost--but not quite--disinterested. “Why ask Garrett?”

 

“Oh.” Of course, that would seem rude. It was an excellent place to rub elbows with the right people. A young doctor like Edward looking to make a name for himself in the medical world would have killed for a chance to get in the door of that gala. “It’s just strategy. All part of the stupid game we have to play to get ahead in any arena. You don’t go to these things without a date. It’s simply not done. If you don’t have a loving and supportive spouse at your side, the next best thing is to come with a little eye-candy on your arm. It’s stupid--a show of status and power, I suppose--but there you have it. So Garrett and I made a deal years ago.” He smirked, waggling his eyebrows at Edward playfully as the younger man glanced at him. “Since we both look damn good in suits, we each accompany the other as a trophy date.” He had to laugh. It all sounded so ridiculous.

 

The other part of why they made that deal went without saying. It would have been nice if they could take their interns or residents, but how could they possibly choose when they almost always had more than one? So Carlisle couldn’t take Edward as his intern, thus making it unfair to Tanya, and he couldn’t take him as an actual date. Too bad. As far as arm-candy went, Edward would have fit the bill perfectly.

 

Carlisle moved his hand from Edward’s knee to cup him between his legs. As he did, he unbuckled his seatbelt and lurched across the center console to kiss his neck. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. Your time is coming. Now stop thinking about work and pull the fucking car over somewhere secluded.”

 

His words surprised Edward so much the car swerved. “What?” Edward asked, the word high pitched.

 

Carlisle laughed, biting Edward’s earlobe. He rubbed his palm over the other man’s cock. “I said.” He pressed the heel of his palm harder. “Pull. The car. Over. And for your sake, make sure we’re somewhere we can’t be seen. Unless you want every passing motorist to see you getting fucked over the hood of your car. The choice is yours.”

 

Of course, he was playing with fire there, Carlisle thought belatedly. It would be just like Edward to get off on exhibitionism.

 

“Gah.” Edward tilted his head to one side, allowing Carlisle better access to his neck. “You’re fucking drunk.”

 

Carlisle gave him a squeeze. “I am very drunk, but trust me, little boy. I’m not drunk enough that I won’t be able to fuck you, and I’m not drunk enough that I don’t know what I’m doing, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

 

As they were at a stoplight, Carlisle turned Edward’s face toward him and kissed him hard. “I want you, and I’m not in the mood to wait long enough to get home. I want to see you spread out for me.”

 

Edward whimpered. “Christ.”

 

But he took a turn down the next street, off the busy main street. Edward must have known where he was going because they ended up in a darkened field at the edge of the forest. There were two baseball diamonds there--stand alone, not near a school or anything like that--and plenty of dark, empty space.

 

Edward had barely stopped the car around the far corner of the field--off the paved road, farthest away from the main road--before Carlisle was out of the car. He dragged the younger man out and pushed him over the hood of his car from the driver’s side, pulling his pants down in the next movement.

 

“Oh hell. Daddy, oh fuck,” Edward babbled when Carlisle dropped to his knees, tonguing his hole. He was only down there briefly and then he had shoved Edward none too gently forward, pulling his own pants down just enough to let his straining cock out of its confines. It was sweet, sweet relief when he was finally joined with him.

 

There was something so primal about fucking another man when he could feel the bite of the cold wind on his skin. He loved the way their grunts and moans echoed in the open space. He loved the idea that he could look up and see the stars if he wanted to.

 

Not that he wanted to take his eyes off Edward. No. He let the cold February air chill the heat he exuded. The cold was the only thing keeping him from combusting. Being with Edward was almost too much, too hot. Surely it was going to burn him alive someday. Burn him to cinders and ash.

  
But damn, he thought as Edward’s body jerked beneath him with the strength of his release, what a way to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: That’s one way to ring in the new year!
> 
> How we doing out there?


	12. Green-Eyed Monster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Friendly suggestion? If you say Garrett’s lines in Lee Pace’s voice, you get a little tingle in the pit of your belly. Yum.

The night he met Garrett, Edward found himself tied up spread eagle and facedown on the bed. Garrett ran the multiple tails of a flogger up and down Edward’s spine, along the backs of his legs and the insides of his thighs. He did this slowly, teasing every nerve ending of Edward’s body, punctuating the passing minutes with slaps of the flogger at sensitive areas.

 

Edward was already half out of his mind with need before Garrett said a word. He climbed on the bed, his voice husky and demanding when he whispered in Edward’s ear, “Tell me about the man you’re fantasizing about right now.” He brought his hand down hard against Edward’s ass, restarting his heart and making him cry out. “Tell me what you want him to do to you.”

 

Garrett had coaxed Edward, extracting confessions from him with the sweetest kind of torture. Edward told the man things he hadn’t even admitted to his best friend. Yes, yes, he had a fantasy. He didn’t know when but somehow, the man he had come to admire more than anyone else in the world had become the face in his mind when he touched himself. And yes, yes. When he was with one-night Doms this way, he closed his eyes and imagined it was Carlisle.

 

Normally, Edward was hyper-aware of his surroundings when he was in a scene with a near-stranger. There could be no real trust built in one-time encounters, so he usually never got the complete release of control he so desperately wanted.

 

With Garrett, he gave up more of himself than he had since Benjamin, but only because the man was so good at bringing Edward’s fantasies to life. How could he not lose himself when he imagined Carlisle touching him like this? Garrett brought the images in his head to life, making it easy to believe, if only for those hours, that it was his mentor wielding the flogger, marking him, teasing him, commanding him, and finally--oh, god, please, please yes, please now--fucking into him hard and deep.

 

Afterward, Garrett wasn’t quick to rush him out the door. Instead, he made Edward coffee, and they talked. Garrett, after all, had felt the same intensity Edward did, and he knew damn well it had almost nothing to do with him. He was curious, he said, about the man who owned Edward and didn’t know it.

 

It was nice, Edward found, to be able to talk about Carlisle so openly and unabashedly, to ramble like a school boy and not feel foolish--why would he feel dumb about his little crush when he probably would never see Garrett again?

 

And then Garrett had told him a story about the only Dom he’d ever had, and his expression had grown wistful. “I wanted everything with him. You know. Everything.”

 

“But?” Edward prompted.

 

“But life. He had his secrets and his issues.” Garrett grinned at him. “They’re never perfect.”

 

Minutes later, when they put two and two together, Edward was instantly obsessed with the idea that all his darkest fantasies could come true. No matter how much he told himself to let it go, he couldn’t erase the knowledge that Carlisle was not only into BDSM but was a Dom from his head. He couldn’t forget it. Eventually it eclipsed even his ability to be workplace appropriate.

 

And he’d forgotten what Garrett had said about wanting everything with Carlisle until he saw them sitting together at the bar.

 

Both Edward and Carlisle had the day of the benefit off. Edward was of two minds on this fact. It was a bad thing in that it gave him too much time to think, to brood. And he was brooding. He had no right--he knew that. Still, he couldn’t let go of the fact he didn’t want Garrett--handsome Dr. Garrett Damon who was more Carlisle’s equal--anywhere near his…

 

Well, his Dom. It wasn’t such a ridiculous notion, was it? For Edward to be possessive and jealous? After all, Garrett was an ex-sub. Surely his jealousy was, if not rational, then at least understandable. It was still stupid. Edward knew they were going to this benefit--he’d seen Carlisle’s name on the list of speakers. He knew it wasn’t as though Carlisle was going to shackle Garrett to one of the tables and play a scene in front of all those vanilla motherfuckers.

 

And then there was the flipside of Edward having the day off. He was the one who would be in Carlisle’s bed, figuratively speaking, all day. If all went as planned, he would send Carlisle off to that benefit with fresh memories of their time together.

 

Oh, yes. Edward wanted very much to please his Dom today of all days.

 

When he came in the door, he stood in Carlisle’s living room silently with his hands clasped behind his back. He let Carlisle do that maddening thing where he walked around him in a slow circle, his eyes devouring but never touching. Edward waited. Then, when Carlisle took his face between his hands and kissed him--though his fingers twitched--he still didn’t move. He opened his mouth for Carlisle’s tongue and let him direct even the movement of his lips.

 

Carlisle pulled back, a pleased smile spreading slowly across his face. He caressed the side of Edward’s hair. “Very good, pet.” He traced the shell of Edward’s ear and then down his neck, his chest, to the hem of his shirt.

 

Edward had to fight a smile. He’d been hoping Carlisle would do this. He adored it when his Dom undressed him, loved the light tickles, the brush of Carlisle’s fingertips across his skin. He pulled Edward’s shirt up and off, winding one arm loose around his waist as he pulled him closer and kissed him. Edward returned his hands to the waiting position, making appreciative moans at the titillating sensations Carlisle sent through him.

 

Carlisle seemed to be in no hurry, petting him and kissing him languidly. He reached around and groped Edward’s ass through his jeans, squeezing. Edward tried hard to keep still and somehow he did.

 

He was rewarded when Carlisle finally reached between them to unbutton his jeans. Edward’s heart began to beat fast and for a few moments, he was terrified that he was going to be laughed at or worse. What if this was a huge turn off?

 

When Carlisle’s fingers encountered satin he broke their kiss and looked. He laughed. It wasn’t a laugh of derision but a startled sound of pleasure. “Oh, my,” he said, pulling Edward’s jeans down to his knees. “What do we have here?”

 

Edward closed his eyes, groaning as Carlisle felt him through the fabric of the underwear he wore. They were panties--cheeky women’s panties complete with a cute little bow dead center. A bow that was popping outward, seeing as his erection was straining against it.

 

“Did you do this for me, baby?”

 

Edward licked his lips and opened his eyes, finding Carlisle watching him. He nodded his head, already a bit breathless. “I saw them, and I thought of you. The blue,” he said ineloquently, lost as he stared into Carlisle’s striking blue eyes. He grinned. “The women at the store were surprised when I went into the dressing room.” He waggled his eyebrows.

 

Carlisle fought a smile but lost, and he laughed. “Well, let’s have a proper look.” He pulled Edward’s jeans all the way down and helped him step out of them, then he began to circle the younger man again. As he did, he trailed his fingertips along the satin of the panties sending shivers down Edward’s spine. “Jesus, sweetheart. Those make your ass look so pretty.” He fingered the second bow that, Edward had noted when he bought them, accentuated his asscrack just right. “But you may have put yourself in a bind.”

 

“Yes, sir?” Edward asked, though he was distracted by the way Carlisle was tracing the edge of the panties.

 

“Mmm.” Carlisle knelt behind him and began to lick along that same line. Edward threw his head back, struggling to keep in position as he found his center. The sheer fringes of the fabric were beginning to cling to his skin. “You see,” Carlisle said, kissing the bare skin of his exposed cheeks. “I love this so much, I may have to keep you in them.”

 

The idea made Edward’s cock twitch, and he groaned. Carlisle tsked, pressing an open-mouthed kiss to the center of the fabric and blowing hot air there. “My foolish little boy.” He patted Edward’s rump in a conciliatory fashion. “Turn around.”

 

Breathing in through his nose, Edward did as he was told.

 

“Put your hands on your head,” Carlisle said, pressing a kiss to the top of each of Edward’s thighs. “Such a good boy you are.”

 

And that was the point Carlisle set about driving Edward crazy. He fucking worshipped those panties, and through it, teased the hell out of Edward’s cock. Carlisle began to lick long, slow lines, tracing the shape of Edward’s cock through the blue fabric.

 

Wet, heated satin felt amazing against his skin.

 

“So pretty,” Carlisle murmured, kissing his cloth-covered cock. “So soft.” He stroked the underside of the panties, tracing the shape of Edward’s balls. “Mmm,” he hummed again, putting his mouth over Edward’s cock. The vibration made him cry out.

 

This went on for minutes; Carlisle tonguing him through the slick fabric, teasing his balls and his ass with his fingertips until Edward was chanting, “Yes, please, please, yes,” under his breath.

 

Just before he came, Carlisle backed off and stood up.

 

Edward, hands gripped tight in his hair now, closed his eyes and whimpered.

 

“I can’t have you soiling your pretty panties, can I?” Carlisle asked, sounding far too amused.

 

Edward opened his eyes, swallowing down his lust and checking his tongue before he could start whining or begging. “No, sir.”

 

“No.” Carlisle began to stroke his ass. “It would be a sin to get come all over these.”  He gave his ass a smart smack. “Get on your hands and knees and go upstairs. I want to watch you.”

 

Edward, cheeks flushing, dropped to all fours. He began to crawl across the living room and, though he was embarrassed by the position, he gave his ass a little wiggle every now and again as he did. Carlisle followed behind him far enough back that he could admire the view all the way up the stairs into his bedroom.

 

“Up on the bed,” Carlisle said, patting the mattress.

 

Edward climbed up, staying on his hands and knees.

 

“Good boy.” Carlisle ruffled his hair. He stroked his back and then the panties again, sighing. “Such a wonderful present, Edward. So very pretty.” He leaned in and kissed the spot up high on Edward’s ass cheek where the panties fringed and his skin was left bare. He moved to the other cheek and kissed him there too. “Thank you, beautiful boy.”

 

“You’re welcome, Daddy,” Edward said, his voice breathy.

 

“Hmm.” Carlisle stroked his cheek and then leaned in again, kissing him once before he sunk his teeth into Edward’s exposed skin.

 

“Gah!” Taken off guard, Edward bucked, only barely managing to catch himself and stay upright. Carlisle sucked, obviously intent on giving him a hickey to go with his love bite. “Oh, man.”

 

Carlisle moved to his other cheek, repeating the process, biting and sucking, and Edward smiled.

 

Yes, he wanted his Daddy’s mark on him. That was exactly what he wanted.

 

Finally, Carlisle stood and again wiping a thumb over his handy work. “Such a distraction you are,” he said. “It’s so tempting to leave you in these, little boy, but it does present a problem, doesn’t it?” He sighed again with mock gravitas. “But it is a delightful proclivity.” He drew his hands along Edward’s spine, walking to his head so he could lean down by his ear. “I might get in the habit of buying you pretty panties just to see this sweet ass of yours in them, hmm? Or see how they trap your cock so nice for me. Would you like that, pet?”

 

Edward groaned. He wasn’t at all sure he wanted to get into the habit of wearing women’s panties, but he fucking loved the idea of Carlisle touching him like that again. He would do almost anything Carlisle asked if it made him this pleased with him. “I like pleasing you, sir,” he said.

 

Carlisle patted his cheek. “You do, baby. Very much so.” He moved back to the panties and peeled them, wet as the were, down. “Well, we’ll have some more fun with those later. For now, let’s get you on your back.”

 

Edward was glad the panties were gone because his cock might have just burst right on through them with those words. Exhilaration pumped through his veins, accompanying the usual excited curiosity he felt when he had no idea what Carlisle had planned for him.

 

He bound Edward’s hands first, just below the cuff so he could keep it on as he preferred. Edward was glad. Even in scene, maybe especially in scene, he didn’t like being without it. Carlisle bound his hands together and positioned them far above Edward’s head. Then, he pulled a rope through the metal loops on the binds and fastened that to the bars of the headboard.

 

Edward thought there was far too much slack on the rope until Carlisle took him by his ankles and dragged him so his ass was at the foot of the bed, pulling the rope taut as he did. Edward gasped, his breath becoming more erratic.

 

“I do love seeing you so trussed up,” Carlisle said as he fastened the end of a spreader bar to each of Edward’s ankles. It was a long bar that had the effect of spreading Edward’s legs wide. “Lift your legs.”

 

“Holy fuck,” Edward muttered as he obeyed.

 

For the first time, it occurred to Edward that Carlisle’s bed posts were very tall. The bed fit the house. Like everything else it was...what was the word Carlisle used? Grandiose, so Edward hadn’t ever paid any attention. The bedposts stretched so high, there probably should have been a canopy on the bed. There wasn’t, but there were ropes tied to the top. Carlisle tied the end of each rope through a loop on the corresponding side of the spreader bar leaving Edward positioned with his back on the bed and his legs, spread wide, in the air. His ass was lifted so the top of it barely brushed the bed.

 

Edward’s breath came in hard pants. He was exposed and open, completely helpless to whatever Carlisle wanted to do to him. He clutched at the ropes that bound his hands above his head, squirming.

 

“Okay, pet?”

 

Edward nodded, a bit beyond speech at that point.

 

“Good.”

 

Carlisle dressed him up first.

 

“Fuck,” Edward hissed through his teeth when Carlisle took a clothespin from a jar he’d brought over.

 

“Are you okay?” Carlisle asked, brushing the wooden thing against the inside of Edward’s thigh.

 

Waiting for a safeword, Edward presumed, and that allowed him to take a deep breath. This position was do damn vulnerable it was almost frightening. Almost. “I’m okay, Daddy,” he said.

 

“Hmm.” Carlisle drew the clothespin about his body. He circled his nipples, went down to his belly and then back up.

 

The anticipation was lethal. There were a lot of clothespins in the jar. Edward was sure Carlisle was going to use more than one. The question was where. He closed his eyes tight when Carlisle drew the pin along his cock, making a tiny whining noise at the back of his throat.

 

The first pinch came at his inner thigh. Edward’s eyes shot open and he gasped, breathing hard as he’d been holding his breath. The second pinch followed on the opposite side. Then his arms. Along his happy trail and finally, as he’d expected, one for each of his nipples.

 

By then he was writhing, his back arching up off the bed as he rode the waves of sensation. “Fuck. Oh, god.”

 

He knew Carlisle was easing him into this type of play, only using a few clothespins. He’d seen men with lines of clothes pins all along their legs, stomachs, chests, cocks and balls. All things considered, though he wouldn’t have protested, he was glad Carlisle didn’t push him too hard too fast. The pinch didn’t let up. It wasn’t like wax, where there was an instant of burning pain that left his skin sensitive, but dissipated rather quickly. This pain was renewed with every movement. Acute. Terrible.

 

But so, so good.

 

“You know,” Carlisle came back into his vision, a long dildo in his hand. He spoke in a conversational tone, as though he was holding a newspaper or something unimportant. “I saw this plug online the other day. It had a little puppy dog tail on it.” He looked at Edward and grinned. “Wouldn’t that be precious? You love to wiggle that ass of yours. You’d look cute with a wagging tail.”

 

Edward was about to answer, but then Carlisle turned the bottom of the thing in his hand. Edward’s eyes went wide. It wasn’t a dildo. It was a vibrator. “Um. I, uh…God, Daddy. Whatever you want.”

 

He’d worn a horse-tail plug once, but he didn’t really think now was the time to bring it up.

 

“I’ll have to think about that, pet.” Carlisle put the tip of the vibrator to the underside of Edward’s chin. He teased his skin--his neck, his shoulders, around his nipple. Edward panted, stifling moans as the shivers of pleasure sent fresh sensation to his pinched nerve endings. Pleasure and pain, pleasure and pain. And his cock was taut against his belly.

 

Carlisle drew the vibrator down, teasing the skin around each of the clothespins so Edward writhed. Then he circled his asshole with the tip. “You want this here?”

 

“Yes. Please, yes, sir.”

 

Edward, his eyes closed again as he gave himself over to the sensation, whimpered in relief when he heard the click of the bottle of lube being opened. He waited eagerly and was rewarded a second later when the slick head of the vibrator was pressed to his entrance.

 

He bucked when it entered him. The ropes pulled at the bedposts and the headboard. “Oh, fuck,” he said, breathless as Carlisle began to move the vibrator in and out of him, pushing deeper with every thrust.

 

In this position, Carlisle could caress his face and tickle his sensitive spots as he worked him. His senses were going crazy, like a carnival midway with bells and whistles and lights flashing everywhere. He couldn’t concentrate on just one thing--not his vulnerability, the pinch of the clothespins, the thrill of Carlisle’s touch, or the vibrations setting off every nerve ending inside him. “I can’t. I can’t. Fuck,” he babbled.

 

His hot spunk hit his chin when he came.

 

Carlisle cleaned him up but didn’t let him out of his bondage. In fact, Edward had no sooner caught his breath than his Dom set about the task of turning him back on. He took his time with it, drawing a feather across Edward’s stomach, along his armpit, teasing his cock, his taint, his balls until Edward was hard again. Then, one by one, he yanked the clothespins off.

 

That was a unique experience. Blood rushed into the pinched parts of him, making the whole area around the wound throb. And it was at the height of his wiggling that Carlisle entered him, filling him with his thick cock. He braced himself with his hands on Edward’s legs, in total control of his body.

 

He yanked the clothespins off Edward’s nipples midthrust, sending him into another powerful orgasm, crying out with his own.

 

Edward was spent. He was boneless and limp as Carlisle undid his binds and helped him settle more comfortably on the bed. Carlisle massaged his legs, helping restore blood flow, and pressed sweet kisses to the places where Edward’s skin was red, slightly chafed.

 

When he was finally able to summon the will to move, Edward only rolled onto his belly, wrapping his arms around a pillow, marveling at how relaxed and content he was.

 

Carlisle leaned in, rubbing his back and kissing the top of his head. “I’m going to get ready now. You can stay if you want.”

 

It took a few seconds for Edward to process that. He’d all but forgotten that Carlisle had somewhere to be tonight.

 

He almost forgot who Carlisle would be with.

 

Edward hated the foul taste of the lump that had risen to his throat. He tried to swallow it down. “If you want me, I want to stay,” he said.

 

Carlisle chuckled and kissed the side of his hair. “I’m almost tempted to say no.”

 

Edward’s heart dropped into the pit of his stomach.

 

Carlisle, oblivious to his distress, kissed him again. “It’s going to be difficult to concentrate on my talk when I know what’s at home waiting for me. My brat.”

 

Edward grinned into the pillow, smug.

 

Giving his hair one last ruffle, Carlisle pushed to his feet and headed for the bathroom.

 

Edward’s satisfaction didn’t last long. He got up long enough to pull on a robe but then flopped back down on the bed, unmistakably moody.

 

No matter how many times he told himself he was being an idiot, he couldn’t help hating the idea of Carlisle being with Garrett tonight. He rolled onto his back and stretched his legs in the air again, running his fingers over the bruises on the insides of thighs, trying to get a good look at them.

 

Garrett, he tried to tell himself, wouldn’t have Carlisle’s mark on his skin tonight. He wasn’t claimed. Maybe he had been once, but now Carlisle belonged to Edward.

 

Or did he?

 

Some Doms took more than one sub, Edward knew. And beyond that, there was nothing stopping Carlisle from merely fucking the other man if that was what he wanted. And why should that bother Edward? He knew Carlisle would be careful and use protection. It was no more Edward’s business if Carlisle wanted to get his whistle wet than it was Carlisle’s business if Edward went out and fucked some other guy.

 

They weren’t boyfriends, and Edward knew he was being a hypocrite. After all, hadn’t he finally given in to Dr. Krushnic just two days ago and accepted his request for a date? The man was a handsome doctor, even if he wasn’t into the scene. There wasn’t anything wrong with wanting someone to take him out and show him a good time. That was all Carlisle and Garrett were doing after all--dinner and boring speeches instead of dinner and a movie.

 

Besides, the idea Carlisle would fuck Garrett while Edward was waiting for him at home was ridiculous. Why the hell would he want the other man for simple sex when it would be so much better with Edward? It just wasn’t likely. Not with Carlisle. He didn’t really seem like the sex for sex’s sake type.

 

Except that one time after the surgery…

 

But that was different.

 

The bathroom door opened and all thought left Edward’s head. He sat up in bed, stunned by the sight that greeted him.

 

Clean shaven Carlisle in a crisp black suit was a revelation. Jesus God, he was a work of art. He was so handsome Edward hardly knew what to do with himself.

 

Catching him staring, the corner of Carlisle’s mouth quirked up. “What did I tell you? I make decent eye candy, huh?” He turned to a mirror that hung just outside the bathroom door, fussing at his hair with his fingers. “Well, Garrett is the eye candy tonight, but that’s beside the point.”

 

That comment soured Edward’s attraction considerably, but not enough that he couldn’t answer. “I have to tell you, a lot of people are going to be thinking of you when they’re in bed with their partners tonight.”

 

“Well that can’t hurt.” Carlisle tossed his tie over his shoulder and began tugging at his cuffs. “Hell, I have to get going.” He chuckled, looking at Edward ruefully. “You’re very distracting, pet. I’m usually a prompt person.”

 

“Don’t forget your tie,” Edward said, trying to ignore the urge to beg Carlisle to stay. To hell with the benefit. Even doctors could call in sick, right?

 

“Hmm? Oh. Don’t worry. I can never tie these damn things. Garrett will do it.”

 

Fuck that. Edward got up off the bed and crossed the room to Carlisle, grabbing the tie from his shoulder. “I’ll do it,” he said, not looking at the other man as he looped the tie around his neck and began to knot it.

 

It was, Edward realized a moment later when his flash of irritation had faded, a rather intimate thing to do. He looked up, a strange emotion coming over him as he caught Carlisle’s eyes. His hands moved methodically, looping and tying.

 

He wanted to kiss Carlisle, and somehow, though they’d kissed so many times before, that desire was different. The air between them was heavy, thick--like humidity but not unpleasant.

 

Still, it made him a little dizzy.

 

Edward cleared his throat, pushing the knot of the tie snug and smoothing it down against Carlisle’s chest. “There.”

 

Carlisle didn’t say anything at first. Edward’s heart was pounding out of control, and that was ridiculous. There was no reason he should be so excited, why every inch of his skin should be tingling. It was anticipation, but it was different than when he was waiting to see what form Carlisle’s pleasure would bring.

 

Everything was different. The flavor of the air had changed.

 

Carlisle licked his lips, swallowing audibly. He raised a hand to cup Edward’s cheek. “Thank you,” he said, brushing a thumb over his lips.

 

Then he kissed him.

 

It was a soft kiss, so tender. It wasn’t a leading kiss at all, no tongue, just the touch of their lips moving as one. Edward was lightheaded, but he didn’t want to move. He wanted this moment to last forever. The idea it wouldn’t segue into anything, into sex or even touch, didn’t bother him. This was…

 

It was so, so good.

 

But it did end. Seconds later, Carlisle straightened. He blinked, looking as dazed as Edward felt. His eyes searched, and god only knew what he saw, because Edward was lost. He had no idea what he was thinking or how to react to this emotion welling in his chest.

 

Carlisle smacked his lips. “I, uh… I need to go.”

 

Edward nodded, but he didn’t move. Neither did Carlisle. Instead, they kissed again. This kiss was quick, as though they were testing.

 

The spell didn’t break.

 

With a shuddering breath, Carlisle took a step backward. He turned toward the door then back. “I wish…”

 

Edward waited with baited breath.

 

Carlisle huffed. “I’ll be back,” he said.

  
Then he was gone, leaving Edward alone, confused, and aching.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Oh my goodness, guys. Packy2.0, barburella, myonlyheroin, songster, and Capricorn75 make my docs so hilarious. And they make my story better. Love these girls.
> 
> SO. Carlisle’s going off to dance the night away with Garrett. How do we feel about this, kids?


	13. Barrage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello, kittens. How are you, my lovelies? Good? Okay. Let’s do this.

Edward was asleep when Carlisle came home from the benefit. The sight struck Carlisle momentarily dumb for reasons he couldn’t figure. He had never come home to find the beautiful young man asleep in his bed as though he belonged there.

 

He lay on his side, one hand tucked under his cheek, the other rested on the pillow by his head. His shoulders were bare, suggesting he just might be naked underneath the covers. His hair was still a disaster from Carlisle’s fingers hours before.

 

It was, as always, a thrill to see his cuff on Edward’s wrist. It was the only mark Carlisle left on him that anyone could see, and that pleased him.

 

His cock began to stir. Looking at Edward like this would never fail to stoke his desire. Carlisle breathed in through his nose trying to calm himself. It was the small hours of the morning, and he wouldn’t disturb Edward’s rest. He could climb into bed and simply sleep with the man. That would be nice too.

 

He had that much control.

 

Really.

 

When Carlisle had convinced himself of this, he crossed the room. He tried to move softly, but when he sat on the edge of the bed, Edward stirred. “Daddy?”

 

The word came out a purr, slurred with sleep, and Carlisle smiled. “Don’t wake up, sweetheart. It’s early yet.”

 

But Edward sat up and then got to his knees. He was indeed naked beneath the blankets, Carlisle noted. His eyes were half-hooded as he went to Carlisle and began to help him undress. He helped him shrug out of his jacket first, and this he draped neatly at the foot of the bed. Then he reached for Carlisle’s tie, loosening it with nimble fingers.

 

His touch reminded Carlisle of earlier that evening when Edward had tied it in the first place. He remembered how, for a moment, the air seemed too thick to breathe. He remembered the pull he felt, and how he had to kiss Edward.

 

This moment too was charged with something Carlisle couldn’t quite put his finger on. It wasn’t lust. Well, it wasn’t all lust. It was different from earlier. Edward was still mostly asleep, his eyes unfocused where they’d been intense before. It was also different from any other interaction they’d had.

 

How strange. He had done things to this man that most people would never fathom doing to another person. Yet this touch, this simple touch, did something to him that…

 

It scared him. He just wasn’t sure what to do with the emotion it stoked in him.

 

Yes, he knew he was falling for Edward. He’d known it for weeks now. He’d known it and successfully put the idea to the side. The fact was irrelevant. It had no bearing on what they were doing.

 

Carlisle closed his eyes as Edward began to undo the buttons of his shirt. He warred with himself. In the quiet of the night, so many things seemed possible that were impossible in the bright light of day. How easy it was for him to imagine this was his. Really and truly his. That Edward belonged to him. Body, mind and soul, deepest secrets and shallowest moments.

 

When Edward moved to undo the button of his pants, Carlisle caught the other man’s face between his hands. He kissed him. Edward responded readily, muffling a contented little noise against Carlisle’s lips.

 

They were lazy kisses, sweet kisses, and Edward still wasn’t awake. Not really. And really, Carlisle’s intention was to lay down. It was just that he didn’t want to stop kissing Edward yet. He pushed, and Edward ended up pinned beneath him. Just as Carlisle was beginning to convince himself to stop, to roll off the poor boy and let him drift off into pleasant dreams, Edward tugged his pants down.

 

Carlisle opened his eyes. The moon was full and bright that night, and in its light, he could see Edward was awake now. His eyes were intent on Carlisle’s, shining with something deeper than lust.

 

Neither of them spoke. Carlisle lowered his lips back to Edward’s and kissed him again. As he did, he groped with one hand for the lube on the nightstand. Edward took it from him and reached between them, stroking Carlisle’s cock with slick fingers.

 

Still neither of them said a word when Carlisle entered him, though Edward gave a soft cry of pleasure. Carlisle didn’t fuck him, didn’t pound into him hard, didn’t take him. They rocked together, the movement lazy and gentle. Edward had his knees raised and bent. He’d wrapped his arms around Carlisle and stroked his back as they moved. They exchanged kisses between pants.

 

It was tender. Good. So good.

 

And Carlisle stopped trying to control what he felt. For those moments, he let himself have it, let his body say what he couldn’t.

 

Afterward, they fell asleep, sticky, tangled and sated.

**~0~**

For the next few days, it was easy to forget what he felt for Edward. When he walked in the doors of the hospital, he was a doctor. He had long since mastered the art of leaving everything else at the door.

 

Then again, every once in a while, something threw him for a loop.

 

He was standing at the nurse’s counter, going over the chart of a young woman whom he’d just seen; a patient he was checking in on as she was recovering from a risky operation. Edward and Emmett were chatting nearby, but Carlisle had blocked that out as he looked over the patient’s latest test results.

 

At least he blocked it out until he heard Emmett ask, “Come on, Edward. What can you possibly be doing tomorrow night that’s more awesome than hanging out with me? Got a hot date?”

 

Edward’s silence drew both Emmett and Carlisle’s attention.

 

“You do, don’t you?” Emmett laughed.

 

Carlisle felt as though he was going to be sick. His pulse felt thready and his stomach leapt up to his throat. He was working the next evening. Edward wasn’t.

 

“So who’s the lucky girl? I mean, guy?” Emmett asked.

 

As though on cue, none other than Dr. Demetri Krushnic came sauntering down the hall. He stopped to leave a few last minute instructions with the nurse. Carlisle watched out of the corner of his eyes as Demetri, his smile predatory, turned to Edward. He placed a light hand on Edward’s lower back, and Carlisle had to fight back the urge to snarl. He looked quickly back to his charts.

 

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Demetri said, his every word dripping with suggestion.

 

“Dr. Krushnic?” Emmett asked when the man had walked away. He whistled. “That’s intense.”

 

“It’s just a date,” Edward said. “He’s been asking for months.”

 

“Playing hard to get, eh?”

 

Carlisle couldn’t listen anymore. He slammed the chart he’d been studying without seeing shut, intending to get the hell out of there. In that instant, he caught Edward’s eye and froze. The other man wasn’t looking at Emmett but at him. His expression was intense, watching Carlisle as he answered Emmett. “Hey, it never hurts to make them work for it.”

 

There was something in Edward’s eyes Carlisle couldn’t read, or maybe it was that he didn’t want to. Vulnerability he saw clearly, and part of him wondered if Edward--his cocky little brat--was actually nervous about this date with Demetri. Did he want so badly to please the other man? To impress him? Carlisle remembered the way he looked at his birthday party, dressed up for a night out.

 

Demetri would get to touch Edward in public, Carlisle realized. He didn’t want to imagine it, tried not to, but Edward’s stare pinned him, forced him to see it. There was challenge there, Carlisle thought.

 

It’s none of your business.

 

Carlisle finally summoned the will to look away from Edward. He turned on his heel and walked down the hallway, his mind on anything but his work.

**~0~**

The next day, almost as soon as he got to work, Carlisle got a text from Edward.

 

“Oh hell,” Carlisle muttered, stopping short. He leaned against the wall, glancing around as though the image on the screen had been projected on the wall. When he was sure no one could see what was on his phone, he allowed himself the luxury of a good long look.

 

Christ, it was a pretty sight. The image was of Edward, of course. It was the classic bathroom mirror selfie pose. He was wearing the panties from a few nights before, and Carlisle could see the outline of his cock pressed against satin. A shiver went down his spine at the memory of tasting Edward through the fabric--salt and skin and clean cloth.

 

Thinking of you today Daddy, the caption read.

 

Carlisle didn’t reply, but he knew Edward didn’t expect him to. After all, how much of a hypocrite would he be if he spent his work hours sending dirty texts to his sub? As it was, Edward was skirting the rules they’d agreed upon, and he had to know it. They’d texted before when one of them was at work and the other wasn’t, but it hadn’t been so blatantly sexual.

 

And it hadn’t been during a separation. Edward and Carlisle didn’t have a solid block of time off together for another week.

 

Carlisle’s pager buzzed, and he had to run. It was almost a relief that he was thrown into an emergency situation. His expertise kicked in, and for a little over an hour, he was nothing but a surgeon with a patient on his table.

 

When Carlisle got back to his phone again, he found yet another text. In this one, Edward had freed his cock and was stroking himself with the hand that wasn’t holding his phone. Thinking of you.

 

It didn’t help that Carlisle was riding out the dredges of adrenaline from the emergency he’d handled. He tapped his pen against the pile of paperwork on the table before him, distracted to the nth degree. He couldn’t decide what he was going to do when he got his hands on this infuriating boy. Oh, he would pay for this. He would see what happened to little boys who teased their daddies.

 

And yet, even with this play going on, unwelcome thoughts came to him.

 

Was Edward still going on his date tonight? Could he sit across from Demetri knowing he had thought of Carlisle and touched himself only hours before? The thought seemed incongruous, but there was no real reason it wasn’t possible.

 

Was he going to wear those pretty blue panties on his date? Would it be Demetri who helped bring him release tonight?

 

Carlisle could tell himself all he wanted that it wasn’t any of his business, but what did that matter in the long run? It wasn’t his business, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t killing him to think about.

 

The day dragged. Six hours after he’d come in, Carlisle headed for home. He wasn’t going to be there long. He had four hours to get a little sleep, and then he was supposed to be back at the hospital. By that time, his distraction had driven him into a thorough misery.

 

When he came in the house, Carlisle was drawn out of his thoughts when he realized he wasn’t alone. There were noises, footfalls, coming from upstairs. He paused in the entryway, unsure what to do. But before he could think about either weapons or calling the police, Edward emerged in the upstairs hallway. “Hey, you’re home,” he said as though it wasn’t a big deal for him to be wandering around Carlisle’s house when they had no plans together.

 

“For a few hours.” Carlisle was pleased when his voice came out steady. It couldn’t be coincidence that Edward was here. Carlisle had the distinct impression that a game was afoot, but what was it? “What are you doing here?”

 

“Come up here. I need your opinion.” Edward disappeared back into the bedroom.

 

Wary, Carlisle went up the stairs to see what the hell this brat thought he was doing.

 

“Demetri told me at the last second he was taking me somewhere a little fancy,” Edward’s voice said from the direction of the closet.

 

Carlisle’s stomach twisted, his wariness turning to irritation. “I fail to see what that has to do with you being here.”

 

Edward emerged with several of Carlisle’s ties draped over his arm. “You know, for a guy who doesn’t know how to tie these things, you have a billion of them. I, on the other hand, only have two ties, both of which are more interview than hot date ties.”

 

“So you thought you’d take one without asking me?”

 

“I am asking you. You know I knew you were coming home.” He gestured with the ties. “Do me a solid. None of my other friends have nice ties.”

 

The word friend twisted like a knife in Carlisle’s gut. He tried to swallow down whatever it was he was feeling--something between rage and an odd, cloying despair. Friend. Yes, he could be a friend. After all, it wasn’t Edward’s problem that what he really wanted to do was take those ties, shackle the younger man to the bed, and make him forget Demetri even existed.

 

Instead, he walked forward and took a deep crimson tie from bunch. “This one,” he said, surprised the words weren’t strangled given the size of the lump in his throat.

 

Edward nodded, setting the indicated tie aside and going to put the rest back.

 

Carlisle sat down on the edge of his bed, tired and confused about the muddled state of his thoughts. He watched Edward emerge and go to the mirror. He looked fantastic--spiffied up again like he had been on Carlisle’s birthday, but just a little bit fancier. He was wearing a nice white shirt and black slacks. His hair was carefully tousled, and he was clean shaven.

 

So pretty.

 

Edward caught his eye in the mirror. He cleared his throat. “Does it bother you?” he asked.

 

“What?”

 

“That I have a date?”

 

Carlisle knew the answer he was supposed to give. He should have said no outright, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t make himself form the words. “Yes, but it shouldn’t.”

 

Edward turned, leaning back against the wall beside the mirror. “What do you mean?”

 

A half-truth had occurred to Carlisle as he sat there, conflicted, and he ran with it. “Why wouldn’t it bother me? I like what we have going. If you start something with this man, if things get serious, our dynamic would change out of necessity.” He attempted to grin, though he certainly didn’t feel like smiling, and tried to inject some lighthearted humor into his tone. “I’d lose my little boy brat, and wouldn’t that be a shame?”

 

Edward looked at him, his expression blank but lingering. “Is that all?” he said after a few tense seconds.

 

Again, Carlisle had that feeling that he was playing a game for which he didn’t have the rules. He met Edward’s gaze. “What else do you want me to say?”

 

The younger man shrugged and turned back to the mirror, running his fingers through his hair. “Nothing. Anyway, don’t worry about that. Demetri isn’t interested in a boyfriend. You’ve known him longer than I have. He’s not the commitment type.” He met Carlisle’s eyes in the mirror and waggled his eyebrows.

 

Carlisle turned away, trying to quell the sudden urge he had to put his fist through the wall. He didn’t even notice a heavy silence had fallen between them until Edward spoke again. “You’re a fucking coward, you know that?”

 

Carlisle’s head snapped up. “Excuse me?”

 

Edward was facing him again, his arms crossed over his chest, his green eyes glinting with some kind of fury. “You don’t want me to go. It’s written all over your face. Don’t give me that bullshit about losing what we have. We both know that’s not it.”

 

Carlisle narrowed his eyes, pushing himself to his feet. “What the hell game do you think you’re playing?” He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been this angry. “Is that what you’ve been doing all day with your pictures, and then I come home to find you here? You’re trying to manipulate me. Into what?”

 

He didn’t notice he was encroaching on Edward’s space until the man had taken a couple of steps backward, only stopping when he hit the wall. He swallowed audibly, but his eyes were hard when he looked at Carlisle. “Tell me you’re okay with me going out tonight. And mean it.”

 

Carlisle slammed his palm flat against the wall next to Edward’s head. “I’m fine with you going out tonight. It’s your love life, and it’s none of my business,” he said, the words clipped.

 

For a second, Edward looked hurt, but then malevolence glinted in his eyes. “Oh, yeah? Because you know what Demetri wants. The only thing he wants. You know how he works. He’s going to take me out and make me feel pretty. He’s going to charm the pants right off me. But it doesn’t matter to you, right? You’re fine with that. You’re going to go back to the hospital, and you won’t give either of us a second--”

 

His words were cut off as Carlisle grabbed him by his nicely pressed shirt and shoved him hard against the wall. The next second he was kissing him, his lips rough and unrelenting, punishing him for those words and the images they were putting in his head.

 

“God dammit,” Carlisle snarled the words against Edward’s lips and hit the wall again. “God fucking damn it.” He kissed Edward again, furious that he was so completely out of control of himself, of his wants, his desires.

 

Edward kissed him back, no sign of the submissive man he normally was. No, his lips worked with just as much fervor, just as much force. Carlisle might have had him pinned up against the wall, but he pressed his body back, making his presence known. His fingers clutched the back of Carlisle’s shirt or dug into his back roughly.

 

“You need,” Edward said between kisses, “to let me go. I’m going to be late.”

 

Carlisle’s only response was a low rumble in the back of his throat. He grabbed Edward’s wrists and pinned his arms to the wall at his sides, taking some modicum of control over what was happening between them, the only sliver he could manage. As though he sensed Carlisle needed it, Edward didn’t fight. He still returned his kisses, but when Carlisle let him go, he didn’t try to grab or, maybe more importantly, he didn’t shove him away.

 

When their kiss broke, both of them were breathing raggedly. Carlisle tilted his face so his forehead rested against Edward’s. They were eye to eye, studying each other.

 

Edward was right. He was a coward. He was wet-himself scared, to the point he could feel himself trembling. There were so many words on the tip of his tongue. Rationality told him to send the boy off on his date. It was only right he should have some romantic attention. His heart wanted to say very different words, but his tongue tied and his thoughts got jumbled even as he let himself consider it. He tried to convince himself to step away, nip this in the bud because it had already gone way too far, but he couldn’t do that either.

 

Releasing a shaky breath, Carlisle took his hands, twining their fingers together. He kissed Edward, and that too was shaky, a barely there brush. “Please,” he whispered, because it was the only word he could manage.

 

Edward whimpered and kissed him back. “Please what?”

 

Under other circumstances, it could have been funny. Wasn’t it generally Edward begging him and Carlisle dragging painstaking clarification out of him? He swallowed hard. “Please don’t go with Demetri tonight.”

 

Edward groaned. He tugged his hands out of Carlisle’s grip to wrap his arms around him, swallowing whatever space was left between their bodies. “Why?” he asked, and there was a hint of a plea to his tone too.

 

But Carlisle didn’t have any words left. He closed his eyes and took a leap of faith because from where he was standing, turning it off simply wasn’t an option anymore.

 

He took Edward’s face between his hands and kissed him. It was a tender kiss, not unlike the kisses they’d shared the night of the benefit. His touch, as he kissed, was reverent. He stroked Edward’s hair back, his cheeks. He pulled back and stroked his thumb over his lips.

 

Wasn’t it ironic? When it came to being a Dom, Carlisle was certain of his abilities, his prowess. He was proud of the fact his subs could trust him with something so deep, such a secret part of them.

 

But this… this thing that almost every person did at some point in their lives, was a mystery to him. A frightening mystery at that. It wasn’t something he’d let himself want with anyone, let alone with a man like Edward; a beautiful, brilliant young man with nothing but promise ahead of him.

 

Yes, he wished he had the courage to tell Edward he wanted everything. He wanted to be everything to the younger man. He wanted to be his Dom, but he also wanted to be this--whatever this was.

 

Carlisle pulled back enough to whisper, “Just please. Don’t go with him.”

 

“I don’t want him,” Edward said. “I never wanted him.”

 

Then it was Carlisle who whimpered. He slung an arm around Edward’s waist and kissed him again. They stumbled together, drunkenly, toward the bed, but without the usual intent.

 

No, Carlisle wasn’t thinking about sex at all just then. He pulled Edward down with him on the bed, and they moved together. Carlisle threw one leg over Edward’s, needing him close, as close as he could get without being inside him. Edward didn’t appear to want to argue. His hands moved like Carlisle’s, reverently over noses, cheeks, necks, bodies. They were both so intimately acquainted with each other’s bodies, and yet this touch was different. New.

 

Like they were learning each other all over again.

 

And as they touched, something in Carlisle relaxed. His fear ebbed and disappeared altogether, a sense of well-being coming over him he had no context for.

  
Nothing in his life had ever felt as right as this moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: My docs were a madhouse! I love it.
> 
> SO… Hi.


	14. Are We Or Aren't We

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: SO...wanna hear something funny? I write at work, but I won’t write sex scenes (I have lines? Who knew). Today, I wrote Trouble because it was the only thing speaking to me that had NO SEX in it. O.O
> 
> IKR?

Edward woke up, trying to figure out why he was overheated--sweaty and gross. His blankets were really heavy, and anyway, what the hell time was it?

 

His blankets made a soft snoring sound. Edward’s eyes flew open.

 

Oh, hell.

 

The day before, when he saw Carlisle’s reaction to the fact he had a date, Edward’s mind had gone into overdrive. Right then, he knew. He knew exactly what he’d been struggling with since the night of the benefit, when Carlisle kissed him and everything was different.

 

He was in love with his Dom, his mentor.

 

He was in love with Carlisle Cullen.

 

And when he saw the look on Carlisle’s face, hearing that he had a date, he knew the feeling was requited.

 

He knew, but he second-guessed himself and, being the brat he was, he’d pushed. And pushed. And pushed. For a second, he’d been sure Carlisle was going to beat the hell out of him and not in the sexy way.

 

It had been a thing of beauty to see Carlisle so wrecked; to know with certainty that he was just as scared and confused and wretched as Edward had been for days now. He knew he had never seen the other man as naked and exposed as when he’d begged him not to go to Demetri.

 

He did feel bad about what he’d done--guilty. He’d forced Carlisle into a vulnerable position when his Dom had only ever led him there with patience and care. Still, he couldn’t be too sorry. Not if it meant he could have this.

 

Whatever this was.

 

Edward scooted back carefully, putting a little breathing room between their bodies. He grinned like an idiot when Carlisle’s brows furrowed in his sleep, and he made a disgruntled noise at losing his cuddle buddy.

 

The man liked cuddling; Edward had learned that on his birthday.

 

Hesitantly, Edward reached out and brushed his fingertips along Carlisle’s hairline, trying the movement on for size. He’d never been in a relationship, a romantic relationship. This was supposed to be one of the perks--the tender brushes and caresses. It was the type of touch Edward wasn’t used to. Carlisle was a natural. His soft hand often confused Edward. For some reason, he was almost embarrassed that he liked it. Why on earth would a grown man want to be petted and coddled?

 

A glance at the clock brought Edward out of his thoughts, and he bit the inside of his cheek.

 

They hadn’t been sleeping very long. The kissing… That had gone on for a while. Far too long for Carlisle to get any real rest when they finally fell asleep, but he needed to be awake again.

 

Edward had a passing urge to kiss Carlisle awake, wake him with a tender caress. He bit the urge back, feeling foolish.

 

“Hey.” His voice was too scratchy at first--no volume. Edward cleared his throat and tried again. “Carlisle, wake up.”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“You have to get up.”

 

Carlisle woke slowly, his eyes red and bleary as he batted his lashes in confusion. His hand moved idly, pressing against the small of Edward’s back. After a few moments, he focused and Edward watched realization dawn. Clearly, Carlisle remembered exactly what had happened just a couple hours before.

 

How strange it was to see him like this--shy and uncertain.

 

Edward abruptly realized his little fit couldn’t have had worse timing. They would both have to wait a full shift before they could talk again, and then it would be the middle of the night. Carlisle would no doubt be exhausted. Then, Edward had to be on shift mid-morning the next day. He grimaced. “It’s late,” he said. “You have to get up. For work.”

 

Carlisle seemed to be processing things slowly. Confusion flitted across his features before he winced. “Dammit,” he said under his breath. He rolled over and sat up with his back to Edward. His hair stuck out in every direction, and Edward would have been endeared if he wasn’t getting just a little bit scared.

 

There were a lot of reasons this whole thing wouldn’t necessarily go the way he wanted. Carlisle hadn’t said much of anything. Edward could guess at what was bothering him, but he didn’t know. And he didn’t know if they were hurdles that could be overcome.

 

Carlisle grabbed at his phone on the nightstand to check the time. “Dammit,” he said again and stood up. He strode into his bathroom without a word or a glance backward.

 

Edward sat up and drew his knees up to his chest. A cold, cloying feeling had begun to spread through him. The longer Carlisle stayed in the bathroom, the more he huddled in on himself, like he was a scared child.

 

What the hell had he done?

 

As usual, in hindsight, Edward could see clearly all the other options he had. His plan was one born of desperation and spontaneity--an immature act more fitting of a dramatic teenager than a grown man. Edward tightened his arms around his legs and put his head down on his knees, sick to his stomach with anxiety.

 

When the bathroom door finally opened, Edward jumped. He raised his head.

 

Carlisle still wasn’t looking at him.

 

Panic began to take hold, making Edward’s heart race. He shook free of the blankets and crawled across the bed. “Carlisle I--”

 

But the other man raised a hand, finally looking at him with an expression that was both a plea and an order. Edward snapped his mouth shut, sitting back on his knees on the bed.

 

Carlisle sighed. “I really need you not to speak right now. I need to go to work, and I can’t have you in my head like this.”

 

“Okay,” Edward said, his voice a hoarse whisper. “Please just tell me one thing so I won’t go crazy.”

 

“What?”

 

“Are you pissed? And if you are, how angry are you?”

 

Carlisle hesitated for a few tense seconds before he came to sit beside Edward on the bed. He looked at him, conflicted, and brushed a hand through his hair. Edward could have moaned with relief. At least Carlisle wasn’t so pissed he couldn’t stand the sight of him.

 

“I’m very angry, but I’m very a lot of other things too.” Carlisle pressed his lips into a thin line and took Edward by the shoulders, giving him a little shake. “I need you to promise me you’re going to be good. The next eight hours aren’t going to be easy, and I don’t need you making it more difficult.”

 

Edward ducked his head, his cheeks flaming with shame. “Yeah, I wouldn’t… I’m not... “ He swallowed hard. “I’m sorry.”

 

“I…” Carlisle huffed, sounding disgruntled. “I don’t know what I am.” He ran his hand under Edward’s chin and brought his head up. “Can you be here when I get home?”

 

“Yes.” Edward had to fight hard not to let his voice shake. “Are you sure? I mean, you’ll be tired.”

 

Carlisle gave him a small smile and ruffled his hair with affection. “You know damn well neither of us is going to sleep with this.” He made a small motion around them. He tilted his head, searching Edward with that conflicted look again, but his touch was still tender, maybe even reverent. He closed his eyes and leaned in, pressing a lingering kiss to Edward’s lips. “I’ll see you tonight.”

 

With that, he pushed to his feet, grabbing his coat as he went. He paused at the door. “Edward?”

 

“Yes?”

 

He was looking studiously down as he worked the buttons of his lab coat. “Did you call Demetri?”

 

Edward laughed. He couldn’t help it. “I cancelled on him yesterday.”

 

He saw Carlisle’s lips twitch upward. “I’ll see you tonight,” he said again, and then he was gone.

~0~

Carlisle was right; the next eight hours were about as easy as a dried-up old nun. Still, Edward must have managed to fall asleep. All he knew was one minute he was pretending to watch television when he was really fretting his fool ass off, the next he was being shaken awake.

 

“Come on, sweetheart. Don’t make me get the ice water. I’ll do it.”

 

Edward sat bolt upright. “Christ. I’m up. Jesus, you’ve got a cruel streak.” He balled his hands into fists and rubbed his eyes, grumbling under his breath about being tired and couldn’t he have a few more minutes, fuck.

 

Then he realized that Carlisle had gotten even less sleep than he had. Maybe he’d had a chance to catch a nap in the on-call room, but it was doubtful. And of course, Edward had robbed him of the few hours he’d had to sleep earlier.

 

He put his hands in his lap and gave Carlisle a contrite look. “Sorry. I’m awake. I can make coff--”

 

Edward grimaced sheepishly as Carlisle handed him piping hot Starbucks. “Sorry,” he muttered again.

 

Carlisle tapped his chin. “Drink your coffee,” he said, and he put a cushion and a half of distance between them.

 

For a minute or so, they both sipped. Edward thought the silence would drive him insane, but he was also too nervous to break it. He was terrified he was about to lose everything. More than once that night, he’d cursed himself for being selfish enough to want everything. Most people didn’t have a mentor like Carlisle, let alone a Dom--if one were so inclined as to want one.

 

By asking too much, he had risked losing it all.

 

“Edward.” Carlisle took a deep breath, obviously searching for words, and blew it out in a big gust. “Where the hell is all of this coming from? Why now? And why like that?”

 

“It was the night of the benefit. Actually, it was probably your birthday, when you invited Garrett to the benefit.”

 

Carlisle tilted his head. “What? What does that have to do with anything?”

 

Edward shrugged, staring down at the coffee cup between his hands. “It drove me crazy. I didn’t want you to go with him. For a little while, I thought I was so jealous because he’d been your sub.” He brushed his thumb over his cuff. “But then I kept on remembering what he said that night I was with him, when he was talking about you before we realized we both knew you. He said he wanted you, that he wanted everything.”

 

“I...He never told me that.”

 

“Would it have made a difference?” Edward raised his head, his throat tight. “Does it make a difference?”

 

Carlisle set his coffee cup down on the table and got to his feet. He paced a few steps away, running his hand through his hair. “This is ridiculous. Garrett went to the benefit with me as a favor. You knew that.”

 

The coffee in Edward’s stomach seemed to congeal into a solid ball. “You didn’t answer my question.”

 

Carlisle stood still, clasping and unclasping his hands at his sides. “No, it doesn’t make a difference for him. Whether or not it would have...well, I have no idea. It was a long time ago.” He turned to look at Edward. “What makes a difference is that you…” He paused, looking somewhere above Edward’s head as he gathered his thoughts. “Is that what you want, then?”

 

Edward’s head spun. His mouth was dry, and his heart raced. “Yeah,” he said, only able to whisper.

 

“And you decided the best way to get what you wanted was to what? Make me jealous? That’s why you accepted a date with Demetri?”

 

“No.” Edward forced himself to meet Carlisle’s eyes. He didn’t see derision there, and that gave him some hope again. “No, I wasn’t trying to make you jealous when I said yes to him. I was trying to get over it. You. I was trying to tell myself I shouldn’t want things I couldn’t have.” He dropped his gaze back down and picked at the edge of the coffee guard. “Then I saw the look on your face when you heard I had a date, and I had to know.”

 

“Had to know what?”

 

“If you felt the same way about me as I do about you.”

 

The house was unbearably quiet. Edward had the horrifying thought that he just might faint if Carlisle didn’t say something soon. When he felt the couch dip as Carlisle sat near him again, he remembered to breathe, and then it all came out.

 

“I’m in love with you,” Edward said in a rush. “It took me a while to realize it, because I’ve never been in love. And I want everything, just like Garrett wanted everything. Except Garrett obviously figured out that he couldn’t have everything. So maybe he knows something I don’t.” He felt the blood drain from his face. “O-or maybe I’m just barking up the wrong tree altogether. I can understand that. What would a guy like you want with a stupid kid for a boyfriend, huh? I guess it doesn’t make--”

 

“Edward.”

 

Edward pressed his tongue to the roof of his mouth. He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t move either.

 

Carlisle did. He scooted closer and gently pried the coffee cup out of Edward’s hands. He locked their fingers together, and Edward squeezed, clinging.

 

“Edward.” Carlisle laughed. The sound was shaky. “God, little boy. My beautiful brat. You have no idea how crazy you make me.”

 

That brought Edward’s head up, and he was startled to see Carlisle so close. It made it all the more difficult to concentrate. His nearness distracted Edward from trying to figure out what he was saying.

 

Carlisle sighed, raising a hand to caress Edward’s face. “Yes, I’m in love with you, but I have no right. Don’t you see that?”

 

Edward blinked, pulled in two directions at once. On the one hand, oh god. Holy god. Carlisle Cullen was in love with him. Him. Part of Edward wanted to bounce off the walls and whoop and holler and do all the stupid things one felt like doing when they were so damn happy.

 

On the other hand, there was this ridiculous, proverbial ‘but’ to deal with. “What the hell does that even mean?” He scooted closer to Carlisle so their knees were overlapping. “Don’t you get that I’m trying to give you the right?”

 

Carlisle was already shaking his head. “It’s not that simple.”

 

Edward shrunk back, letting go of Carlisle’s hands. Again, he found himself remembering Garrett’s words. Carlisle had secrets and issues. “What’s not simple about it? Do you not want that kind of relationship ever? You never want a husband? Kids? To grow old with someone?”

 

“I haven’t thought about it in a long time, to be honest.”

 

“Haven’t thought about it or don’t want it at all?”

 

“Ideally, it would be nice, but--”

 

He didn’t get a chance to finish his sentence as Edward couldn’t hold himself back any longer. He launched himself forward, knocking Carlisle back on the couch. His giddiness couldn’t be contained at that point. He was in love with a man who was in love with him, and as long as there was a possibility, well, Edward could work with that.

 

“Oh, God. Edward, you need to listen,” Carlisle said, though he kept kissing him back, kept his arms tight around him, and didn’t attempt to get up. “I said but.”

 

“But what?”  Edward rained kisses about Carlisle’s face, his cheeks, his chin, his nose. “Are you dying? Are you joining Doctors Without Borders?” Edward leaned down so they were nose to nose. “Are you straight?”

 

Carlisle laughed, his hands tightening at Edward’s sides. “No. I’m not any of those things.”

 

“Then what?”

 

Carlisle’s hands roamed his back. “We already had this discussion once before. I can’t be your...your boyfriend and your attending at the same time.”

 

Edward grinned. “Is that all?”

 

His maybe-possible-just-might-happen boyfriend fixed him with an exasperated stare. “Edward, how many times must we have this conversation? There’s nothing more important than your career.”

 

“Yes, there is.” Edward straightened up so he was sitting on Carlisle’s midsection, staring down. His stomach fluttered with nerves, but these weren’t nearly as bad as the fear of rejection. This he could deal with. He could be brave for this. “We’re not talking about something new. We’re not new. We don’t have to figure out how compatible we are. We know. We’re not...or at least, I wouldn’t be messing around.”

 

“What are you saying?”

 

“I’m saying there are things in life more important than my career, things worth sacrificing my career if that was what it took, not that I think it would take that.” Edward traced patterns on Carlisle’s shirt. “It happens all the time. People juggle what’s important in their lives, they give up a little bit here and there to accomodate. If we were together, yeah, we’d have to hide it at work for a few months. Which isn’t the most ideal or professional thing to do, but I’m also very confident in both of our abilities as doctors and your ability as an impartial evaluator.”

 

“And then what?” Carlisle asked. “There is the potential that a conflict of interest could affect whether or not you get hired on for your residency.”

 

“Then I’ll apply at the other hospitals.”

 

“The other hospitals aren’t as good as ours.”

 

“That’s a minor concern. Yeah, I hear what you’re saying. It would be best for my career to stay at our hospital. But the other hospitals aren't horrible. I’m young, and I’m good at what I do. Going for good for my career instead of best for my career isn’t a huge sacrifice if it means I can also have you. I want more out of life than a career, regardless.” He touched Carlisle’s cheek lightly. “You’re my more.”

 

Carlisle shifted beneath him, and they both moved until they were sitting facing each other. The older man’s eyes were soft, so full of tenderness, but also conflicted. “Edward, you should know... I’ve never really had a relationship. There was a man I wanted desperately, but he didn’t want me. And there was another man. We tried to be together. I tried. I wanted to want him the way he wanted me, but I didn’t. I never did. The point being, I don’t actually know how to be in a relationship with someone I…”

 

Carlisle’s lips twitched upward and he cupped Edward’s cheek. “With someone I love,” he finished.

 

Edward grinned. Like an idiot. So hard his cheeks ached. He moved to straddle Carlisle again, this time so they were both upright. “I’ve never been in a relationship at all. Romantically, I mean.” He threaded his fingers through Carlisle’s hair, reveling in the possibilities suddenly open to him. “We might both suck. I mean, we’ll definitely both suck in the good way.”

 

Carlisle rolled his eyes, but he pressed his hands against Edward’s back. “Has anyone ever told you you’re an odd duck?”

 

“No, they usually just call me a jackass. Anyway, what I’m trying to say is we’re both smart. Especially in my case.” Edward winked, and Carlisle shook his head indulgently. “We can figure it out. It might be hard sometimes. Well.” He wiggled a bit on Carlisle’s lap. “It’ll be hard a lot of times.”

 

“You really just can’t help yourself, can you?”

 

With a grunt, Edward closed the distance between them and kissed Carlisle. It was a sweet kiss at first, so sweet. He only pulled back a fraction of an inch so he could speak, his tone breathy. “Are we doing this?” He would have gladly begged at that point. He kissed him again. “Are we?”

 

Carlisle groaned, his hands possessive as they moved over Edward’s back, caressed his ass, and came back up again. “Yeah. God help us. Yes. Yes,” he said between kisses.

 

They kissed and kissed until Edward broke off with a little giggle.

 

“What is it, you loon?” Carlisle asked, but he was smiling too.

 

“You love me,” Edward said in a teasing, sing-song voice.

 

Carlisle drew his thumb over Edward’s lips. “It’s a recently discovered character flaw, but yes. I do. I really do.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: My doc… there was so much flailing in my doc! I love it.
> 
> Ahem. So. How are we, kids?


	15. Boyfriend Bliss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello, friends. Did you see the lovely review songster did for me at Fic Sisters? I love it. Especially coz this is not her cuppa. <3

For the second time in less than twenty-four hours, Carlisle woke in a haze to a surreal world.

 

Edward was draped across his chest, naked and beautiful, and...his.

 

All his.

 

The room still smelled of sex from their lovemaking. And without a doubt, that was what it had been--slow, sensual lovemaking, with those open-mouthed kisses that were really just them breathing in each other’s hot breath; Edward panting as Carlisle moved in him, with him.

 

Carlisle sighed, looking down at the man in his arms. It was as though he couldn’t decide how to feel. Any one second he was so elated he had to stop himself from giggling his fool ass off. The next, his thoughts were a riotous string of oh god, oh god, oh god, what in the ever loving hell did he think he was doing?

 

It wasn’t as though he didn’t understand his own neurosis. Carlisle had loved very few people in his life, and he’d lost them or been rejected by them all. He made excuses. He was married to his career. He didn’t want a relationship with anyone who couldn’t be a part of the BDSM scene.

 

He thought he’d been happy. He didn’t know how happy he could be until this impossible man was saying he was in love.

 

Carlisle gave himself a few minutes to fret. God, Edward was so young. What did he think he was doing? And Edward was the one throwing around words like husbands and babies and…

 

I wouldn’t be messing around, Edward had said.

 

Edward made a soft snuffling sound in his sleep. Carlisle let the ridiculous grin that had been threatening tug the corners of his lips up. He traced the shell of his ear, taking in the view for another few minutes.

 

Then the time wouldn’t be denied any longer. He gave his ear a tug. “Edward.” He stroked his fingers through his hair. “Wake up, sweetheart.”

 

After a few moments of this, Edward started making little moaning and grunting, vaguely word-esque noises. Carlisle chuckled, shifting so he and Edward were both on their sides. “You have to work.”

 

Edward blinked at him, narrowed his eyes, groaned, and buried his head at Carlisle’s neck. “Ugh. I can’t go to work. I’m sick.”

 

Carlisle put his fingers under Edward’s chin, drawing his head up. “Don’t start that.”

 

Edward wrinkled his nose. “Maybe you missed that whole part about some things being more important than work.” He leaned in closer. “I was talking about you,” he whispered, and then leaned in for the kiss.

 

Oh, yeah. Their roles were definitely flipped in that moment. Carlisle was well and thoroughly charmed. He had an intense urge to give in to the kisses, let Edward talk him into the fabulous idea of staying in bed for, oh, maybe five days would be enough. Possibly.

 

In one movement, Carlisle had Edward on his back and was hovering over him. He grabbed Edward’s wrists, pinning them above his head as he held himself aloft. He licked his lips. Feeling the heat of his new boyfriend beneath him, Carlisle was quickly distracted from his momentary brush with willpower. He closed his eyes and leaned in for another kiss.

 

Carlisle groaned. “God, you’re such trouble,” he muttered under his breath.

 

“People keep trying to tell me it’s my middle name, but I’ve seen my birth certificate. My middle name is Anthony.”

 

“You have to get up.”

 

Edward bucked his hips against Carlisle’s. “I wouldn’t worry about me getting up.”

 

“You’re impossible.” He gave in and kissed the younger man. It was a small peck, a taste. “You still have to take a shower, little boy. Get up.”

 

“Let me stay.” Edward lifted his head to kiss the tip of Carlisle’s chin.

 

“No.”

 

Edward pouted and kissed his chin again. “Why?”

 

“Because I love you, brat.”

 

The grin that spread across Edward’s face was blinding. “That’s why I want to stay,” he said, his voice soft.

 

Sighing, Carlisle kissed the tip of his nose. “That’s why I’m making sure you go. Come on, baby. Get up.” He rolled over again, flopping onto his back and rubbing his eyes. “You have to go to work.”

 

“So that’s how you’re going to play it, huh?” Edward grumbled, but he did get out of bed. “We have to be responsible adults?”

 

“Are you sure you don’t want to reconsider? A boyfriend your own age would probably have no problem letting you call in to work.”

 

Edward crawled back across the bed to give Carlisle a lingering kiss. “I want you,” he said. He kissed him again, a quick smack of a kiss, bounced up off the bed and sauntered into the bathroom.

 

Carlisle threw his arm across his eyes when the door was closed. He had no idea why, but a few seconds later he was chortling to himself, his grin wide and happy and oh so foolish.

 

His mood swung again, and his laughter died away. He’d ignored what he felt for Edward because he understood exactly who he was to the other man. He knew how to be a good mentor, a good supervising physician, a good friend, and, perhaps above all, a good Dom. Now all of that was in the air.

 

When he heard the shower stop, Carlisle got up. He walked to the door, putting his pajama pants on as he went, and paused, his hand splayed over the wood. His heart had started to flutter, and he had to take a deep breath before he pushed the door open.

 

Edward was at the sink brushing his teeth, a towel wrapped around his waist. Carlisle had another flash of what it could be like to have this every day.

 

Now who was getting ahead of himself? They’d been dating for all of five hours, and Carlisle was already daydreaming of getting ready for work at the his and his sinks that had never been used simultaneously.

 

Edward straightened and jumped when he caught Carlisle’s reflection in the mirror. His surprise turned into glee, thinly veiled by the sexy grin he let spread across his face. “Oh good. You’ve changed your mind.” He leaned back against the sink not even trying to hide the fact he knew exactly how sexy he was. “Come hither, boyfriend mine.”

 

Somehow, Carlisle managed to resist temptation. He crossed his arms and leaned back against the door jamb. Edward wasn’t the only one who knew damn well he looked good. “Ah, I don’t think so.”

 

Edward stuck his lower lip out. “See, this is a mixed signal. You want me to go to work, but you’re in here, distracting me from getting work appropriate.”

 

Carlisle took a step toward him, his arms still crossed. “This is my bathroom.” He took another step. “Now I have a question for you.”

 

“Do you?”

 

“Mm hmm.” Carlisle watched Edward’s eyes go dark with lust the closer he got. The younger man seemed frozen. His cocky swagger had faded in an instant, bringing back the natural submissive Carlisle knew so well. Something like relief spread through him. He reached out, making a move as though he was going to touch Edward’s cheek but instead let his fingers skim the line of his body, not letting their skin connect. He took Edward’s hand, bringing it up to his mouth, and kissed his knuckles. “Do you still want this?” He let his fingertips rest on Edward’s cuff.

 

Edward looked down at the cuff and their hands, and then back up at Carlisle. His expression tightened. “Would you still want to be with me if I didn’t?”

 

That was an interesting question. “Want, yes.” Carlisle brought Edward’s hand up again and kissed the crest on the cuff, and then took his hand in both of his. “I love this part of you, but it isn’t the only thing about you I love.”

 

Edward’s lip twitched. “Are you trying to say you love all my parts?”

 

Christ, he was unbelievable. Carlisle stepped forward and put his hand over Edward’s mouth. “Most. Most of your parts. This part I could do without.”

 

Edward scoffed, and when Carlisle dropped his hand, the younger man smirked. “You’re never going to convince me you don’t like my mouth.”

 

“When it’s otherwise occupied, yes, I love that talented mouth of yours.” Carlisle brushed a thumb over Edward’s mouth. “Now don’t change the subject. To answer your question, yes, I would want to be with you, but I couldn’t be.” He brushed his thumb over the crest again. “This part of me isn’t negotiable. I couldn’t be with someone who didn’t understand. It would make us both miserable.”

 

As he expected he would, Edward smiled. “I want you to be my boyfriend and my Dom.” He took his hand from Carlisle’s. “My man and my daddy.”

 

Carlisle caught Edward by both of his wrists before he could get his arms around him. Edward gasped, his eyes wide and riveted. Carlisle tsked. “I think, little one, there’s a discussion we need to have that’s long overdue.” He placed Edward’s hands purposefully on the bathroom counter, leaning in even closer as he did. “And until I have a chance to properly teach you what happens to naughty little boys who tease their daddies, I think you don’t have permission to touch me, do you?”

 

Edward’s breath stuttered, and he gulped. “No, sir.”

 

“No.” Carlisle patted Edward’s cheek. “Now I’m going back to sleep. Have a good day at work.”

~0~

Combining their D/s relationship with their new romantic relationship was going to be a challenge. In his years in the scene, he’d seen other couples do it with varying degrees of success. Naturally, he worried.

 

Domspace he understood. Never in his life outside the scene would he think of demanding the control in any relationship, be it friendship, colleagues, or anything else. He was a Dom only to those who had willingly given their full and educated consent.

 

Romantic relationships were very different. He and Edward needed to be equals, partners. He knew other couples who had struggled with a wide range of potential problems, especially when they made their BDSM play part of their everyday domesticity. For instance, in a domestic spat, a Dom could punish a sub, but a sub couldn’t punish a Dom. Both Doms and subs sometimes struggled to come out of that headspace when it was time to deal with problems within the relationship. A sub trusted a Dom to lead, but boyfriends needed to make decisions together.

 

Throughout that day, while Edward was at work, Carlisle wrestled with the difference between the two relationships. When he heard Edward’s key in the lock, he was still at odds with himself except about one thing: as both a Dom and a boyfriend, he needed to have his priorities straight.

 

When Edward came in the door, his eyes were bright with excitement and curiosity, but also a little bit of trepidation. Carlisle couldn’t say he blamed the man. Their parting words that morning had been meant to keep him on tenterhooks all day--just the beginning of the retribution Edward had coming for his relentless teasing.

 

So Carlisle couldn’t blame Edward for looking so bewildered when he was greeted by an enthusiastic hello kiss. “Hello, boyfriend,” Carlisle said, hoping the moniker clued Edward into the right headspace. He took his face between his hands and kissed him again, letting the same giddiness he’d felt that morning take him. Edward made a surprised whimpering noise, but it didn’t take him long to get on the same page. He tentatively put his hands to Carlisle’s waist and, meeting no resistance, wrapped his arms around him, pulling him closer.

 

Carlisle let it go on as long as he possibly could before his brains turned to mush, and he lost the will to stop this before it could turn into sex against the door. Or on the floor. Or wherever they happened to fall. He made a disgruntled noise as he pulled away, but he took Edward’s hand. “Come on. I made you dinner.”

 

“Wait, wait.” Edward tugged backward on his hand. His brows were set in consternation. “I’m not imagining what you said when I left this morning, am I?”

 

“No.” Carlisle let go of his hand to run a hand through his own hair. He gave Edward a sheepish smile. “That was an ill-considered whim. Don’t get me wrong.” He stepped forward again and circled both of Edward’s wrists with his fingers like manacles. “I have no intention of forgetting what I promised. You will learn what happens to little boys who tease their daddies.”

 

Edward’s cheeks went pink and his eyes darkened.

 

Grinning wickedly, Carlisle kissed the tip of his nose. “But the time for that particular lesson isn’t now.” He touched Edward’s cheek more gently. “It’s been what? Thirty-six hours since you’ve really slept?”

 

“I’ve been up for longer stints than that.”

 

“When you’ve had to be. You don’t have to be right now.”

 

“You really think I could sleep right now?”

 

“Oh, little one.” Carlisle traced the shape of Edward’s jaw with the tip of his finger. “I’m sure adrenaline will give you a few more hours, but then what?” He leaned in, brushing his lips over Edward’s ear. “And what I have planned for you? It’s going to take a lot longer than a few hours. I’m going to need your attention all damn day.”

 

Edward whimpered, his knees buckling ever so slightly. “Shit,” he hissed through his teeth.

 

Carlisle kissed his cheek. “You are good at getting yourself into predicaments, aren’t you, baby?” He let his hand skim down Edward’s arm and tangled their fingers together. “But right now, I want to take care of you. You need to eat, and then you need some rest.”

 

“My Dom would never let a punishment wait,” Edward tried, and Carlisle recognized his bratting behavior well enough.

 

Carlisle put his hands on his hips, giving Edward a stern look. “First of all, your Dom is primarily concerned with your well-being. For that matter, so is your boyfriend. You are exhausted, my stubborn one. Secondly, you’re not being punished. There is a slight difference between learning a lesson and paying the price for something you’ve done wrong. You being a relentless tease and manipulating the ever loving hell out of me isn’t actually a punishable offense by the rules we agreed to. Keep pushing me, and I will reconsider my stance on the matter.”

 

Edward did relent at that point. When Carlisle set dinner in front of him, Edward realized he couldn’t remember the last time he’d had anything other than a protein bar. Edward was a very well-mannered young man. The greedy way he ate was refined, but only barely. Carlisle smiled indulgently, enjoying the chance to take care of Edward like this. It was nice. Domestic. They talked about their days, and Carlisle reveled in the idea this normalcy would happen again.

 

By the end of dinner, as Carlisle predicted, Edward’s eyes were beginning to droop. Carlisle sent him upstairs to get ready for bed while he put the dishes away. When he got upstairs, he was a little surprised to find Edward still upright, if a little sleepy.

 

“I have a question,” Edward said as Carlisle went to stand in front of him.

 

Carlisle ran his fingers through the other man’s hair, a happy warmth spreading through his chest at having Edward there in his bed. “What’s that?”

 

“I was wondering about sleeping arrangements.” Edward slid off the bed, kneeling at Carlisle’s feet and looking up at him. “Your sub doesn’t have permission to touch you.” He reached out, tentatively cupping a hand at the back of Carlisle’s thigh. “But your boyfriend hasn’t had enough of you yet.”

 

“Hmm.” It hadn’t ever been difficult for Carlisle to lust after the younger man, but now that so much had changed between them, he was just as insatiable Edward. He cupped his hand under his chin. “Your Dom should make you a pallet to sleep on the floor.”

 

Edward pressed his lips into a thin line, looking up at Carlisle with desire in his eyes, but he didn’t say a word.

 

Carlisle reached down and took him by the elbow, pulling him up to his feet. He snaked an arm around him and cupped his ass, squeezing hard. “Your boyfriend, however, is horny as hell.” He kissed Edward once. “For you.”

 

With that, he pushed Edward onto his back and was over him in a heartbeat, claiming him with rough kisses. Edward moaned into his mouth, returning his kisses in kind. They groped and tugged and rolled over each other, against each other, until they were both naked and slick and Carlisle was finally inside him.

 

They made love again. It wasn’t slow as it had been that morning. It was hot and fast but also very sweet. Carlisle stood and pulled Edward to the edge of the bed so he could stroke his fingers down the other man’s face, his chest, his lips as he fucked him. Edward wrapped his legs around Carlisle’s waist, moving with him. He took Carlisle’s fingers in his mouth.

 

When he could hold back no longer, Carlisle slipped out of Edward, if only briefly. He climbed on the bed, moving Edward until they were both on their sides. He had the intense desire to consume the other man as much as he could. He was locked inside Edward, his arms around him, one splayed across his chest, the other working his cock. With his lips against Edward’s ear, he whispered ragged, “I love you’s” as he got closer to orgasm--the perfect answer to Edward’s, “Oh god, Carlisle. Oh god.”

  
Afterward, Carlisle propped himself up on his elbow, looking down on Edward, just watching him. Edward’s expression was serene as he stared back sleepily. He kissed the tips of his fingers when Carlisle caressed him. He touched his lips, the shape of his nose, stroked his hair back. He touched him just because he could, until Edward drifted to sleep with a happy sigh and a smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Cappy and Barburella are hankering for a spankering. Packy just wants drama. Okay, okay, we’re going to get away from the schmoopy schmoopy thing next chap. Hehehe.


	16. Hankering For Spankering

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello, lovelies. Happy Friday to you. Um...I feel like warning you that there are a couple plot points intermixed in the pron. LOL. See you on the flip side.

Edward woke up alone.

 

It was disconcerting after the night they’d had. He’d never been so connected to another human being. They spoke only a few murmured words out loud. Everything else they communicated with their bodies. Volumes. They spoke epics with their eyes locked on each other. Edward slept and woke again hours later to Carlisle’s kisses on his shoulder, his neck--his legs pushing Edward’s open, his hands stroking Edward’s cock as he moved in him. He fell asleep again sticky and sated.

 

And now he was alone.

 

Edward sat up in bed. “Carlisle?”

 

To his great relief, Carlisle appeared only a few seconds later. He came in the door with a tray of breakfast. “Oh, good. You’re up.”

 

Edward got to his knees, eager for a good morning kiss and maybe more kisses in between bites. But when Carlisle leaned in, he only pressed a chaste kiss to Edward’s forehead before he pulled back.

 

“Have a bit to eat, take a shower, brush your teeth.” Carlisle was already walking toward the door. “Then come downstairs. We have things to accomplish today.”

 

Carlisle’s words and attitude were so incongruous with the night before and what Edward felt that he couldn’t find words to respond. He watched, half disbelieving and half hurt, as Carlisle retreated, not knowing what to do. He was relieved when Carlisle paused at the door, turning back to look at him. “Oh, and Edward?”

 

“Yeah?” Edward’s voice was scratchy with sleep and confusion.

 

“Don’t bother getting dressed.”

 

He flashed a grin and then Carlisle was gone, his steps retreating down the stairs. Edward crumpled onto the bed in a little ball, already hard with Carlisle’s parting words and anticipation of whatever was going to happen today. He hid a grin behind his hands, soothed by the idea that Carlisle was in scene; that was why he’d woken up alone.

 

Edward sat up again and pulled his breakfast onto his lap. He must have looked so silly, sitting there alone, grinning his ass off while eating warm oatmeal with milk, raisins, bananas, and just a hint of brown sugar. He loved how well Carlisle took care of him. If the man had ordered him up off the bed and into position, Edward would have followed without question. But no, as he’d promised the night before, he looked out for Edward’s well-being first and foremost.

 

After he choked down enough breakfast to look appreciative, Edward hopped off the bed and hurried through his morning routine. He showered, brushed his teeth, and towel dried his hair. A little chilled, he pulled on Carlisle’s robe and went downstairs.

 

It was somewhat disconcerting to find Carlisle at the kitchen table. It wasn’t so weird that he was sitting at his own table. What was weird was what he was doing. He was fully dressed, first of all. Like, really dressed. He was wearing a long sleeved shirt and jeans. He had his shoes on. And his glasses. It looked like he was doing a crossword puzzle.

 

Edward was well and truly confused.

 

Carlisle looked up and smiled. It wasn’t that sexy smile Edward loved so much. It was his “we have interesting medicine to do” face. Edward loved that too, loved that part of him that could get excited over what they did, but it wasn’t the smile he wanted to see.

 

“Good boy. That was very quick. I think today we need to take care of some business I’ve been putting off. Come along.” Carlisle curled two fingers, beckoning Edward to follow.

 

Back out in the living room, Edward stopped short when he got a glance at the coffee table. Laid out on top, the space between them obsessive-compulsively even, was a line of progressively more wicked looking implements. Edward’s eyes got bigger as he looked at each of them.

 

Carlisle sat on the couch and made a motion. It took Edward’s shocked mind a few extra seconds to process. Then he took a deep breath and sank to his knees at the opposite side of the table, his hands clasped behind his back.

 

“Very good, pet.” Carlisle spread his hands wide over the implements on the table. “Now, for future reference, when that big mouth of yours gets you in trouble, you should know what you’re in for. The belt, the paddle, that nice big wooden spoon in my kitchen--you know what those feel like. And the crop, to some extent. These I haven’t used on you yet.”

 

Edward swallowed hard, aroused and scared all at once. Some of these things he’d experienced before at the hands of different Doms. Others he hadn’t experienced at all.

 

This was what he wanted, Edward reminded himself. When they’d discussed everything, their limits, Edward had told Carlisle that he didn’t know that he had hard limits when it came to spanking punishment. He trusted Carlisle would never use anything on him that would mark him permanently, and he trusted that even in a punishment scenario, if Edward wanted the play to stop it would stop. Instantly. He had made the stipulation that he would like to know what an instrument felt like so he could have an informed opinion about his limits.

 

The prospect was exciting. Terrifying but exciting.

 

Somewhat breathless already, Edward darted his tongue out to swipe across his lips. He waited.

 

“I think you’re familiar with the tawse,” Carlisle said, and Edward gave an involuntary shudder. “So you do have experience with it.”

 

Edward swallowed hard. “Benjamin used one on me. Once.”

 

Carlisle studied him for a long moment. “Do you want me to take it off the table?”

 

Edward considered this. He was sorely tempted to say yes, but he hadn’t taken it off the table in the first place. After all, it had been the first thing Edward experienced that was more advanced than the more-common belt. He was curious to see if it was as bad as he’d made it out to be. “No, sir. It can stay.”

 

“Okay.” He moved on to the next thing, picking it up. “I’m going to remind you again that you’re the one who asked for this.” That time it was Carlisle who shuddered as he put the bathbrush down.

 

How could Edward help but be curious by anything that brought that reaction out of Carlisle? He hid a smirk.

 

“The next one is self-explanatory. It’s just a ruler.”

 

“A thick one,” Edward said, amused. “You have schoolboy fantasies, Daddy?”

 

Carlisle quirked an eyebrow. “Don’t test me, pet. I’m in the market for a dunce hat. I’ll put you in the corner on a stool with a bright red butt.”

 

“What about those little uniform shorts? Do you think I can pull that off?”

 

“Settle down. We have business to get to.”

 

Edward sat back on his haunches, waiting.

 

Carlisle pointed to the next thing. “This is a martinet. It’s French. There are eighteen leather thongs.” He stroked the little whip reverently and leaned forward over the table, locking eyes with Edward. “When we have a chance to play again, I’m going to hang you up between the door again.” He picked up the martinet. “And I’m going to use this on your belly and your back and your thighs.”

 

Edward’s mouth had gone dry, and he found himself leaning forward, dizzy with want.

 

Then Carlisle’s words sunk in. “When we have a chance to play again?” he repeated.

 

“No worries, little one. We’ll play again soon.”

 

Oh, that did not sound good in the Edward gets to orgasm department.

 

“This is my favorite strap. This is a rattan cane.” He picked it up and whooshed it back and forth in the air making that sound that thrilled and frightened subs everywhere. “Very swishy.” He put it down again. “Bamboo cane. And finally--”

 

“What the fuck,” Edward blurted.

 

“So very eloquent.” Carlisle picked up the knife that was on the end of the table. “Scared about this?”

 

Edward huffed and had to fight not to roll his eyes. “Not so much scared as curious. Bloodplay was on your list of hard limits.”

 

Carlisle chuckled. “You ever have to cut a switch to be punished with?”

 

Edward’s cock jumped. “Oh, hell.”

 

Carlisle put the knife down. “That wasn’t an answer.”

 

“Uh. No. No experience in that.”

 

“Well, today’s going to be an interesting day, isn’t it?” Carlisle sat back on the couch, crossing his legs in a casual way and spread his hands wide. “The choice will be yours. Now stand up.”

 

Edward got to his feet, hand still clasped behind his back.

 

“Lose the robe. It’s not like you’re ever going to have the protection of clothes, is it?”

 

Bad boys always get it on the bare. Edward slipped out of the robe, folding and setting it neatly on the arm of the couch.

 

“Pick your poison, then come present it to me.”

 

Edward licked his lips as he looked over the instruments of torture before him. He imagined an actual punishment session with some of these and shivered. Where to start. The strap would be familiar at least--it was a cross between a belt and a paddle, arguably worse than both. Straps bruised worse than belts, as Edward had occasion to know. Then again, did he really want to take licks from every other implement here on top of a strapped bottom?

 

“How many strokes?” he asked.

 

“Three to get a good idea.” Carlisle’s smile curled devilishly up on side of his face. “More if you want to be thorough.”

 

Making his choice, Edward picked up the ruler. This was the one tool that amused him much more than it scared him. Why this was even there with the others, Edward had no idea. He went to Carlisle and knelt in front of him, bowing his head and letting the ruler rest across both of his open palms.

 

“Don’t move. Stay just like that.”

 

Edward’s head jerked a bit, but he caught it in time. Stay like this? Did that mean…

 

Carlisle ran his fingers through Edward’s hair. “This is for minor transgressions. Since you work with your hands, lasting bruises here-” he ran the ruler over Edward’s upturned palms “-wouldn’t fly. But, for instance, if you’re told to keep your naughty hands to yourself, a few good thwacks serve as a very fitting reminder.”

 

With that, he brought the ruler down across Edward’s palms. Edward jumped ever so slightly with the first strike, sucked in a breath with the second, and gasped with the third.

 

Carlisle set the ruler down and took Edward’s hands, rubbing his thumb over his sore palms. “So. How do we feel about the ruler now?”

 

Edward hadn’t ever had occasion to find out that the palms of his hands were so sensitive. Even those few strikes had his heart speeding. He flexed his hands, spurning a delicious ache. “Um. More effective than I thought.”

 

“Mhmm. This is a good reminder tool. The pain doesn’t last too long unless you set out to bruise, which I won’t for the reasons we already discussed. It’s just enough to keep you on track so I won’t have to divert our play to really punish you.”

 

Flushed and hot, Edward nodded. “Uh huh.”

 

Carlisle brushed his thumb down Edward’s cheek, tenderness seeping into his smile. A different kind of fire warmed Edward’s chest. For a few moments, the cool, controlled veneer of his Dom broke, and it was only his boyfriend staring back.

 

Now why the hell was his boyfriend still fully clothed?

 

The moment passed, and Carlisle sat back cool as ever. “Okay, pet. What’s next?”

 

Edward reluctantly looked away from Carlisle back to the coffee table. Curious and nervous, he picked up the martinet and presented it as he had he ruler.

 

Carlisle hummed, taking the martinet from him. “Put your hands flat on the floor and your head down on your hands.”

 

Swallowing a moan, Edward got into that subservient position, ignoring the ache in his palms. He started but stayed in position when he felt the tips of the martinet tails at the small of his back. Carlisle dragged the tails up his back, across his shoulders. Edward’s breath came in pants. His body shook with the wonderful tingles that shot up and down his spine.

 

“This one is usually more fun, isn’t it?” Carlisle asked. He hit Edward with the lightest of slaps.

 

Edward jumped a bit. “Yeah.” He groaned when Carlisle slapped his back again. His cock strained against the carpet.

 

“Get up. Get on your hands and knees on the couch there.”

 

When Edward obeyed, Carlisle continued to drag the leather tongs over Edward’s skin until every inch of his body was awake and aware. His muscles were tensed, waiting, itching, for the next strike.

 

But rather than bring the martinet down on his sides or his shoulders or his legs, Carlisle brought it down with a hard swing against his ass.

 

“Gah!” Edward’s back arched as he tried to understand the sensation. Carlisle’s hand on his back had him back in place again before the second blow struck. Edward curled his fingers into knuckles. Each of the tails licked him with varying degrees of sting.

 

“A full punishment session with these can leave quite an impact,” Carlisle said conversationally, bringing the martinet down for the third and final time. The tails caught untouched parts of Edward’s skin with each strike. “Different, right? What do you think of this one, hmm?”

 

Edward almost asked for another stroke. He wiggled a little, feeling the way the licks of pain on his backside stung and itched. “I’d be curious to see what the marks look like after a full session,” he said.

 

Carlisle laughed. “Yes, well. Knowing you, brat, I’m sure you’ll find out sooner than later. Up.”

 

“Can I rub my ass, sir?” Edward asked as she stood.

 

“Yes. You’re not being punished.” Carlisle had sat back down again, propping his legs up on the coffee table and his hands behind his head, the picture of ease. “This is business. The point is for you to experience a taste of what may be coming. You can ask questions, and of course, you can bar use altogether.”

 

Edward studied him out of the corner of his eyes as he explored the warmth of his new welts. Already, Edward was very turned on. His cock was stiff, and his skin itched for touch. It wasn’t to the point where he was all but out of his mind, but he was obviously affected sexually. Carlisle, on the other hand, kept talking about business. His pants weren’t tented at all. His face wasn’t flushed.

 

Blowing out a breath, Edward clasped his hands behind his back again. “I’m ready.”

 

Carlisle said nothing but motioned at the coffee table.

 

Edward bit the inside of his cheek. These were all equally horrible (wonderful) choices. He gave in, and went for the familiar first. Picking up the strap, he knelt in position in front of Carlisle.

 

Carlisle took the strap from him and petted his hair. “Okay, baby. Let’s get to it.”

 

After the strap, Edward chose the canes, both of which were mildly terrifying to him. He’d been caned before, but it had been a long time. For both the strapping and the canings, Carlisle had him bend over with his hands on the coffee table and his ass out. They were intense, but Edward had expected that. Carlisle gave him leave to look at the marks in the bathroom. He especially loved the cane welts. Six of the best--six deep red lines each perfectly spaced out on his rapidly reddening bottom. He shivered, remembering the swish and crack of the canes--each of them different. The rattan had been more stingy, and the bamboo packed a deeper impact.

 

And oh good god, Edward was getting antsy. His cheeks were almost as red as his ass, and he couldn’t seem to catch his breath. Especially because he knew he wasn’t in trouble--Carlisle kept repeating it--his body expected to be teased, titillated. Carlisle had spanked him for pleasure before. He’d spanked him to spur him on, to drive him deeper to that point where pleasure and pain mingled perfectly. He spanked him and stroked his cock or teased his asshole in turn, working him expertly.

 

Now, though, Carlisle gave him tiny hints, like when he’d tickled Edward with the martinet, but he did it under the guise of demonstration.

 

Business, he said.

 

Well, fuck business. Edward was naked and turned on beyond belief. He ran his hands over his cane welts, feeling the heat of them, wincing as he touched his tender flesh. Then he took his cock in one hand and began to stroke. This wouldn’t take long. He closed his eyes.

 

Edward let out a strangled gasp when a firm hand clamped down on his wrist. His eyes flew open, and Carlisle stood there behind him. Edward met his Dom’s eyes in the bathroom mirror, and his breath caught.

 

“Tsk, tsk.” Carlisle said, coming to stand directly behind him. He took Edward’s other wrist and guided his hands to the bathroom counter.  He pressed forward so Edward’s back was up against his chest. Though they were nearly matched in size, Edward felt dwarfed. Consumed. He couldn’t look away from the man in the mirror. “Did I tell you you could do that, pet?”

 

A shudder went down Edward’s body. “N-no, sir.” He took a deep, steadying breath. “But you didn’t tell me not to.”

 

Carlisle used his foot to guide Edward’s legs slightly apart. He reached between them, caressing Edward’s ass. He gave it a harsh squeeze, making Edward cry out in surprise. “You know, little one, you left me out in the living room waiting.” With his other hand, he snaked an arm around Edward’s chest and then pulled him backward, hard against him. “Was that very nice?”

 

“I’m sorry, Daddy,” Edward said, breathless. His head was spinning. God, he would have done anything if it meant Carlisle would touch him. “Will you?”

 

Carlisle had begun to run the tips of his fingers up along one of Edward’s legs, circled his belly button, and then down the other. “Will I what?”

 

Edward moaned as Carlisle’s fingers moved dangerously close to where he wanted them but didn’t connect. “Touch me. Please, Daddy, please.”

 

“I am touching you, little boy.”

 

Edward pushed the palms of his hands flat on the bathroom counter. “I mean, I want to come. Please.”

 

“Hmm.” Carlisle’s voice was a low rumble near Edward’s ear. “You want this?” He wrapped his hand around Edward’s cock, taking a firm hold of it.”

 

It was all Edward could do not to rock his hips forward. “Yes. Yes, please.”

 

“Mmhmm.” Carlisle began to stroke him slowly. “Tell me something.”

 

“Anything.” Carlisle’s strokes were so slow and measured, they were torturous. Edward wanted to be pumped fast. With all the stimulation, he could let go in two minutes flat if someone would only lead him to the edge.

 

“Tell me why-” Stroke. Stroke. Stroke. “you thought it was a good idea.” Stroke. “To tease me through an entire eight hour shift.” Carlisle gripped him tight and held perfectly still.

 

All the breath left Edward’s body.

 

Of course he knew what Carlisle’s apparent aloofness was all about. He’d known he was going to face some kind of comeuppance for what he’d done. It couldn’t go unaddressed by his boyfriend or his Dom. He met Carlisle’s eyes in the mirror, wincing a little when the other man squeezed his cock once. He swallowed several times before he found his voice. “It wasn’t very nice.”

 

“No. You weren’t very nice that day were you?”

 

Edward breathed out, the noise shuddery as he tried not to move. Carlisle had a grip on his cock that was walking the line. It felt amazing right then, but it wouldn’t take much tugging to fall over the line into unpleasant. “I wasn’t nice to you, Daddy. I’m sorry.”

 

A tense atmosphere held in the air between them.

 

Carlisle dipped his head and kissed Edward’s neck. “I forgive you. Truly.” He let go of Edward’s cock and took a step back. “What you need to understand is when I saw those photos you sent, there was nothing I wanted more than to find you, get my hands on you.” He brushed his hands over Edward’s ass again, pressing his thumb against his asshole. “I wanted to be inside you right then, but do you know what I had to do?”

 

Edward whimpered. “Work?”

 

“That’s right. I had to be a good doctor, and you know very well patients don’t want a doctor with a hard on.”

 

Edward almost smiled at that. Almost.

 

“But right now, we have some business to attend to, don’t we?” Carlisle asked.

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

“Yes. So you can control yourself, just like you asked me to, while we finish our business.”

 

Edward took a deep breath and nodded. “Yes, sir.”

 

“Good boy.” Carlisle moved to the door. “Now let’s go.”

 

Back in the livingroom, Edward was quickly diverted from his state of arousal to the nerves he’d managed to forget about for a few minutes.

 

There were only three more implements left--two completely unknown, and one that intimidated Edward.

 

“Choose,” Carlisle said, going to sit down.

 

Edward hesitated only a moment before he tentatively picked up the bathbrush. He moved into his position, offering it to Carlisle.

 

“Look at me,” Carlisle said, his voice gentle as he took the brush.

 

Edward looked up.

 

“I want to repeat again that you aren’t being punished. You understand that, right?”

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

“Good boy. Now tell me what your safe word is.”

 

Edward knew Carlisle was trying to reassure him, but he was only making him more anxious. Of course, there was something thrilling in that too, but still. “Appendectomy,” Edward said. It had been the first surgery he’d ever assisted on, and it stuck out easily in his mind.

 

“Good boy.” Carlisle cupped his cheek briefly. “Get over my knee,” he said, sitting back.

 

Edward did as he was told, positioning himself across Carlisle’s knees. He folded his arms on the couch and buried his head, waiting.

 

The first thwack was so loud, Edward jumped at the noise more than anything else. But then the pain set in and holy mary mother of god, it bloomed. With the second thwack, he kicked, suddenly glad that he wasn’t being punished and therefore Carlisle had him in this intimate and well-supported position. There was no way he would have been able to stay down if he’d been bent over on the stairs or anything like that.

 

“Fuck!” he shouted with the third strike and he was instantly on his feet, doing a little hopping dance as he tried to vigorously rub the sting out of his backside. “Jesus Christ.”

 

“I’m not going to say I told you so,” Carlisle said, laying the bathbrush down. “Are you okay?”

 

Considering Edward’s cock was doing the hopping dance with him, still hard as ever, he would have thought that was obvious. “Yeah, I’m fine.” He huffed. “Just…I’m glad I don’t smoke,” he said, recalling Carlisle’s story.

 

Carlisle hummed, reaching out to rub his back. “Are you ready to go on?”

 

Edward looked between the knife and the dreaded tawse. He picked up the knife.

 

“Okay. Now, I’m going to trust you to find an appropriate switch. It should be about this long.” Carlisle indicated with his hands an approximate length. “And a thickness of your pinky, give or take. You want something whippy but not so fragile I’m going to break it on your ass. Cut it with the knife, and, this is very important, make sure you strip it smooth. I don’t want to break the skin. Got it?”

 

“Yeah.” Edward reached for the long discarded robe, but Carlisle stopped him.

 

“Did I say you could put that on?”

 

Edward had to swallow a moan.

 

It was just Carlisle’s backyard. Sure, someone on the very top floor of the house behind him might catch a glimpse of Edward--cock bouncing and red ass bared for everyone to see.

 

Mild exhibitionism. Why not?

 

Edward darted outside, glancing around and blushing as though he was in front of a stadium full of people. He never would have considered himself bashful, but christ, it felt as though there had to be people watching him from the fence.

 

But he managed to find an appropriate tree and an appropriate branch which he whittled down as instructed. The tips of his ears glowed red. Having to prepare his own switch was worse than having to fetch something to be punished with.

 

Finally, he was back inside. There, Carlisle inspected his work and smiled. “Very good. Now stand up straight. Hands on your head, and keep them there.”

 

Carlisle delivered the three strokes of the switch quickly, and Edward yelped all three times. Again, when it was done, his hands went straight to his ass. “Fuck. That stings.” It was a much different pain than any of the other implements--concentrated and yeah, stingy. “That might be as bad as the fucking bathbrush.” He rubbed harder. The sting didn’t lessen at all.

 

“Surprisingly vicious, isn’t it?” Carlisle asked, his tone still controlled and steady. His touch was gentle, though, as he took Edward’s hands and squeezed. “Are you ready for the last one?”

 

At last, some of the heat left Edward’s system. Suddenly, he regretted not getting this over with sooner. He should have picked the tawse first, and then he would be able to prove to himself he’d blown it way out of proportion. It could have been long over by now.

 

“Edward.” Carlisle gave his hand another squeeze. “This is your choice. You can take this off the table, no questions asked.”

 

That steeled Edward’s nerves. “No, sir. I’ll be fine.” He licked his lips, his mouth gone dry. “And I want to take these on the stairs, like a normal punishment.”

 

Carlisle’s eyebrows shot up, but he nodded slowly. “Okay.” He picked up the tawse himself and gestured with it toward the stairs. “Go on, then. You know the position, baby.”

 

Edward was irritated with himself, with how scared he was. It was three little licks. It wasn’t even a real punishment. Nothing to be scared of.  Sure, a split-end tawse was a ten point five on the Arkham scale of spanking pain, but whatever. A ten was supposed to reduce him to crying and begging. Begging, maybe, but he wasn’t going to cry. To hell with that.

 

Of course, when Benjamin had punished him, he had. That had been embarrassing, and he’d hidden it from his Dom. But he’d been nineteen years old then and fairly new to the scene. If nothing else, his ass  had to be much tougher now.

 

Edward bent over, propping himself up on the stairs.

 

Carlisle chose to get it over with, like the switch, quickly. He didn’t hold back. These were, as promised, three strokes at full intensity. Edward clenched his hands into fists with the first one, swallowed a scream with the second, and finally let it out with the third. It was a short scream, but it was definitely a scream.

 

It was every bit as hard to take as he remembered. The pain was incredible--the dual licks of unforgiving leather each hitting him with a tiered agony. Sharp pain on impact, then a deep pain, then the spread, as though each nerve ending on his ass had been seared all at once. When it was over, Edward found he was frozen there on the stairs. His body had seized--held too tightly in control. He was gasping for breath, trying to ride the waves of sensation.

 

“Baby, come here.” Carlisle’s hand was at his back. He leaned in, trying to look Edward in the eyes. “Come on. Loosen up for me. Come here. It’s all over, see?” He held his hands out. The tawse was out of sight. “Come on.”

 

Edward let Carlisle guide him upright. He was shaky. Three fucking licks, and he was shaky. He almost fell into his Dom’s arms, and he buried his head at his neck. “I’m sorry,” he said. His eyes stung, but he refused to cry. No, fuck that.

 

“Hey.” Carlisle ran his fingers through his hair with one hand and rubbed his back with the other. “You’re fine, baby. You’re fine. There’s nothing wrong. Nothing at all you have to apologize for. Come here, sweetheart.”

 

Carlisle led him back to the couch, and they sat, Edward stradling Carlisle’s lap as he calmed down. He felt stupid. Almost as dumb as he had when he got upset at the belt spanking that had been too reminiscent of his childhood. This made even less sense.

 

“Talk to me, baby boy. Tell me what’s going on in that head of yours,” Carlisle said, coaxing his chin up.

 

Edward closed his eyes briefly, took one final deep breath, and opened them. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why it gets me like that.” He reached behind him, feeling the familiar heat of his well-punished flesh.

 

“Sweetheart, it’s okay to have a limit.”

 

Edward grunted.

 

“It’s fine. There are thresholds, Edward. You did so well. I’m proud of you.” Carlisle massaged his fingers along Edward’s spine. “Now talk to me. What do you want to take off the table?”

 

Edward thought about it only for a few seconds. “Nothing.”

 

Carlisle took his face between his hands. “Are you being completely honest with me? And yourself?”

 

Edward had ridden the waves of whatever extreme emotion had come on him. His ass was still throbbing. With each beat of his heart, the pain renewed.

 

And god, it was still exciting. His cock was still rock hard and now it was begging for attention. “I’m fine,” he said, and he tilted his head suggestively.

 

Carlisle looked him over once more, but he took the invitation Edward put out. He kissed him.

 

Oh, yes. There was his loving boyfriend. Giddiness seeped in around the rush of endorphins, the hunger that was building quickly and wouldn’t be ignored for very long. Edward’s lips quirked up at the corners.

 

“Daddy?” he said between kisses.

 

“Hmm?” Carlisle was running his hands along Edward’s sides, almost tickling.

 

“Are we done with business?”

  
Carlisle raised his head. He grinned, and in the next heartbeat, Edward found himself on his back on the couch with Carlisle pressed against him. His Dom, his boyfriend, ducked his head and kissed him again. “Yeah, I’d say business is concluded for the evening.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: That was a lot of spankering. More plot next time!
> 
> So many thanks to myonlyheroine, Packy 2.0, jessypt, and barburella. And endless thanks to Capricorn75 who has been my life raft this last week or so.
> 
> As for you out there. You’re all beautiful. I love you. Thank you for your responses.


	17. Good Weekend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Good evening, lovelies (or morning, whatevs).

Carlisle crossed his arms, only somewhat irritated as he glared across the table at his dining companion. “Are you finished?”

 

Esme covered her mouth with a hand, but she didn’t stop cackling. “Oh, no. No, I’m not nearly done.”

 

Exasperated, Carlisle sat back in his seat. “I expected an ‘I told you so.’”

 

“I told you so,” Esme said gleefully. “How long ago did I tell you you’re in love with that boy?”

 

Carlisle leaned in across the table and wagged a finger at her. “Little girl, you better be glad I’m not actually your Dom, because you’re making my palm itch.”

 

Esme pressed her lips together but it only lasted a few seconds before she laughed again. “Oh, Carlisle. You’re not intimidating at all right now. You can say the words all you want, but they lose their edge when you can’t stop smiling.”

 

Rolling his eyes, Carlisle gave in and let his full fledged grin come out. He knew he must have looked like a fool, and he was blushing besides, but he couldn’t care.

 

Esme finally calmed down enough to drink her coffee. “Well, that presents an interesting problem, doesn’t it? I can’t imagine it’s easy to stay in scene when your Dom is grinning like a big goofball.”

 

“You wound me.”

 

She arched an eyebrow. “So you’ve done a scene since then?”

 

“Two.”

 

“What must that be like,” she mused with a wistful smile playing at her lips. “To have everything? The romance and that level of trust. To be able to put everything into one person’s hands?

 

“Well, right now it’s complicated. Figuring out how it all fits, I mean. It was more straightforward before. When we’re at the hospital, I’m his mentor. I guide him, teach him. We’re part of a team, and that I understand very well. And I knew how to be his Dom. When he was in my home, we were in that space. Now, though…”

 

Carlisle ran a hand over his mouth. He was smiling again. “We’re trying to figure it out. When I’m his Dom and when I’m his boyfriend, I mean. If that makes sense. It’s a much bigger distinction I would have thought.”

 

“You’ll get the hang of it.”

 

Carlisle hummed. His smile fell, and he stirred his coffee, trying to tell himself not to feel guilty. “But speaking of figuring out how to be a boyfriend…”

 

She sighed. “Oh, this conversation.”

 

He put his hand on the table, palm up. She took a shaky breath and put her hand in his, obviously fighting tears. “This conversation,” he said, squeezing her fingers.

**~0~**

It was the first time they went home together.

 

Working with Edward wasn’t as difficult as Carlisle had feared. As it had after they started playing, the hospital proved to be all-consuming. They walked in the door and they were doctors--surgeons who quite literally held people’s lives in their hands.

 

Well, they weren’t perfect. They existed in that warm glow Carlisle had witnessed often--the new relationship glow. Once, when they had their heads bent together over a research, they’d looked up to find their faces were too close. Another time, Carlisle had been elbows deep in paperwork in the lounge when Edward and Emmett came in chatting. It had been impossible to concentrate, listening to them banter.

 

What, was it his fault he found his boyfriend so clever?

 

Their schedules often overlapped, but they stole time where they could. Today, though, they were off at the same time.

 

As he drove home, Carlisle kept glancing in the rearview mirror, checking to see that Edward’s Volvo was still there, following him.

 

It was nice. Still surreal, but nice. Edward pulled into the driveway beside him and got out, shouldering his backpack. Carlisle didn’t say anything, but a bone-deep satisfaction came over him as he as he offered his hand to the younger man. Edward looked bemused, but he took it and, holding hands, they went up the walk together.

 

Inside the door, bags were dropped and Carlisle took Edward’s face between his hands. For a few moments, he just looked at the man. He smiled and Edward smiled back. Gorgeous. The man was so beautiful, and good god, he felt lucky.

 

Carlisle leaned in and Edward tilted his head up, meeting him in a soft kiss. Edward’s hands settled at his hips. Carlisle stroked his thumbs over the other man’s cheeks, then let his hands fall to his shoulders.

 

When Edward cupped his ass and leaned back, bringing them both up against the door, Carlisle reluctantly broke their kiss.

 

“We have to talk,” he said.

 

Edward’s lips turned down at the corners ever so slightly. “Uh oh.” He studied Carlisle, and his eyebrows knitted at the center. “You know, I have to tell you. Those four words just filled me with more dread than anything else you’ve ever done to me.”

 

“That might be exaggerating things a bit.”

 

“A bit? Shit, you’re not making things better. Is this something bad?”

 

“No.” Carlisle ran a hand through his hair, irritated with himself. “I’m sorry. I hope it won’t be a big deal, but I don’t have any experience with this kind of conversation.” He gestured toward the living room. “Can we sit down?”

 

“Yeah, okay.”

 

Carlisle hated the way his gut twisted with nerves. This shouldn’t be a big deal, but he’d witnessed more than one couple in an argument over this kind of thing.  He sat next to Edward on the couch, letting their knees touch, and took a deep breath. “Do you remember Esme? You met her at my birthday.”

 

“Yeah. She was quirky. Very sweet.”

 

“Yes.” Carlisle’s smile was genuine despite his nerves. “Esme is my oldest friend, my best friend.” He swallowed hard. “But we have a special relationship as well.”

 

Edward flinched, confusion and trepidation etched on his features. “I don’t know what that means. Please tell me what that means.”

 

“Christ, I’m making a mess of this.” Carlisle took Edward’s hands. “Listen. I met Esme in the scene. Aro and I were at a small gathering of like-minded people, and she was there with her Dom.” Even after all these years, Carlisle gritted his teeth. “An asshole named Charles.”

 

“An asshole?”

 

“Yes. The way he treated her that night set off every alarm bell in my head, but it’s hard to tell sometimes. You know, people in our scene--sometimes they want more extreme versions of what we do.

 

“In any event, we became friends, and I learned more about her life with Charles. She was very young when he found her, and naive. She’d grown up sheltered, and she was a virgin when he introduced her to the scene.”

 

“That’s…” Edward shook his head. “Yeah, no.”

 

“Well. I’ve seen it work out, but yes, that troubled me. Then it became very clear he’d filled her head with so many misconceptions--that BDSM was about his pleasure, not hers. That she had no choice except to submit to anything he wanted to do to her, or she would lose the relationship. You get the idea.”

 

“Yeah. I have a pretty clear picture.” Edward’s voice was tight with contained fury.

 

“Long story very short, by the time she had freed herself from that relationship, her trust had been severely damaged. Yet as she was trying to recover from this abusive relationship, her needs as a submissive confused her and made her ashamed.”

 

“Oh fuck,” Edward said, some of the color draining from his face. “You’re her Dom too. That’s what you’re trying to tell me, isnt it?” He pulled his hands from Carlisle’s grasp.

 

“No. No, Edward. It’s not the same thing.” He put his hand on Edward’s knee, trying to get the younger man to look at him. “I don’t share with her the same thing I share with you.”

 

“Then what?” Edward asked, his jaw clenched.

 

Carlisle explained their relationship, reiterating that there was no sex involved. Unlike Edward, who could safely explore and push his limits in Carlisle’s safe command, Esme never would fulfill that part of herself. “I give her the minimum she needs to function. You know what it’s like. You’ve played single scenes with Doms just to keep yourself from starving.”

 

“But I wasn’t truly satisfied until I found you,” Edward finished.

 

Carlisle squeezed his knee, happy despite himself that Edward was so satisfied with that part of their relationship. “It’s a favor to a friend--no more than that. I want to be clear, I don’t feel guilty. I don’t think I have anything to feel guilty about. She’ll never be to me what you are on any level, but you deserve to know about it."

 

"And if I don't want you to...do that with her anymore?" Edward asked, his voice not quite a challenge.

 

Carlisle had to work to hide his grimace. He had prepared himself for this possibility even though it wasn't what he wanted. "Then it ends. She knows that."

 

Edward looked up in surprise. "She knows about us?"

 

"She's my best friend. Also, I wouldn't ever share her story without her permission. Not even to you. I asked her if I could talk to you.”

 

“Because you want to keep playing with her.’

 

Carlisle chuffed. “Ideally, I want to keep helping her, yes, but only if you’re comfortable with the idea.”

 

For once, Edward was quiet. Carlisle tried to give him room to process, but tonight it was he who lacked any kind of patience. “Please talk to me,” he said. “Where are you with this?”

 

“I don’t know,” Edward said. “What would she do if she didn’t have you?”

 

“I’m sure we’d figure something out.”

 

Edward looked at him again. “She means a lot to you.”

 

“Yes. Esme is...family to me. She’s very important.”

 

Edward huffed. “Family. Sure. I know if I had an older sister, I’d be spanking her every family gathering. Might make my parents wonder what all that smacking and crying was all about, but they’d probably pretend it wasn’t happening. You know, because that’s the polite thing to do.”

 

“Baby, I--”

 

“No. No. That was unfair. I get it. I hear what you’re saying.” He stood up, wiping his palms on his jeans. “I don’t want to take this away from her, and I know that’s not what you want either.”

 

“But?”

 

“But…” Edward sat down again. “I don’t know. I don’t know what to think about all this.”

 

“That’s fair.” Carlisle ran his fingers tentatively through Edward’s hair. “You want some time to think about it?”

 

Edward nodded. He scooted over on the couch, and Carlisle swallowed a gasp when Edward kissed him. It was a possessive kind of kiss; the kind of kiss in lieu of everything Edward was thinking, feeling. Carlisle understood that. There was so much he didn’t know how to say, that he could only show the other man. So he kissed him back with just as much urgency. For Carlisle, there was such a huge gulf between what he did for Esme and anything he did with Edward.

 

Their movements became fevered. At Edward’s silent direction, Carlisle found himself horizontal with the younger man draped over him. Their hands pressed and squeezed. Edward ground his hips down and Carlisle bucked his hips up. They moved together, tongues sliding over each other. The only noise in the room was the rustle of clothing, the smack of their hungry lips, and the moans that passed between them.

 

“Carlisle?” Edward asked after minutes of this. The word was mumbled as Edward couldn’t be bothered to stop kissing him as he spoke.

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Will you let me fuck you?”

 

Carlisle pulled back, looking up at Edward in mild shock.

 

It wasn’t that he was opposed to the idea in the slightest. Carlisle had more than a little experience bottoming, and it wasn’t an unpleasant prospect. In fact, his cock--already straining against his jeans from their writhing--jumped at the idea. What Carlisle was more concerned with was why Edward was asking now. He had never shown any indication he wanted to top. Why now? Carlisle cupped the other man’s cheek and tried to think clearly.

 

But then Edward thrust his hips along Carlisle’s erection and all concrete thought was lost. “Yeah, baby. Yes. Fuck yes.” He took Edward’s face in his hands and pulled him back down for a kiss. “You want to be inside me?”

 

“God, so deep.” Edward bit down on Carlisle’s lower lip and moved over him harder.

 

“Don’t tease me, little boy.” He groaned, wondering if he was going to come in his pants. “Do I need to draw you a road map?”

 

“Oh, you don’t think I know what to do, huh?”

 

Carlisle pinched his ass. “There’s nothing to be ashamed of, babe. It takes practice to be as good as I am.”

 

“Uh huh.” Edward slid back, straightening up. “Lose the pants, Cullen,” he said, his fingers already working the buttons.

 

“I have news for you. Neither of us should have pants on for this part.”

 

“God damn, have you always been this mouthy?”

 

“Ah, that’s hilarious coming from the blackest pot in the world.”

 

Once they were appropriately devoid of clothing, Edward proved if he didn’t have experience topping, he was a natural. He leaned over Carlisle on the couch. His kisses were languid, fucking him with his tongue as he moved his lube-slicked fingers in and out of him. Sensation sent electricity through Carlisle’s body.

 

Edward backed off, settling on his knees. “Are you okay?” he asked, licking his lips.

 

Carlisle reached up, running his thumb along Edward’s jaw line. “More than. Now come here. Get inside me.”

 

Edward leaned down, kissing him again and pushing his legs back. He propped himself up on one arm and snaked the other between them. Despite his absolute trust in Edward, Carlisle’s breath still caught when he felt Edward at his entrance. It had been a long time for him.

 

He needn’t have worried. Edward, despite his urgency and eagerness earlier, went slow, letting Carlisle get used to the stretch. It was good. He’d forgotten how good this could be--to be filled and claimed.

 

No, it had never been this good before. No one had ever fucked him with eyes that looked the way Edward’s did. They were connected in more ways than that one. Carlisle raised his hips, following the rhythm Edward set.

 

“Fuck, you feel so good,” Edward said, claiming his lips over and over.

 

“So good,” Carlisle echoed.

 

Edward pressed his legs back further, stroking deeper. Carlisle’s back arched with the rush of intense pleasure that went up his spine. “Fuck. Jesus Christ.”

 

“Isn’t that...” Edward panted between thrusts. “My line?”

 

“Oh, god. Shut up and fuck me harder.”

 

“You like this?” Edward picked up momentum.

 

“Yes. Yes, please.” He reached between them, taking hold of his cock and stroking. The slap of Edward’s skin against his was incredibly erotic.

 

Edward groaned. “I want to come inside you.”

 

“Yes. Baby, yes.” Carlisle was close too. He worked himself harder, making the most embarrassing mewling noises. Edward was making him remember nerve endings he’d long ago forgotten.

 

They came within seconds of each other, Edward buried deep inside him, his cock pulsing along his walls, and Carlisle in strings across both their stomachs.

 

Edward collapsed forward, breathing hard as he lay atop Carlisle. They were both sweaty and sticky, but neither of them cared. Carlisle stretched carefully, straightening out his legs, tangling their ankles.

 

“You okay?” Edward asked when he lifted his head a minute or so later.

 

Carlisle ran his fingers through the other man’s sweat-dampened hair. “That was fantastic, sweetheart. I’m fine.”

 

Edward snuggled against him, pressing sweet, soft kisses to the underside of his chin and his lips.

 

A few quiet minutes later, Carlisle sighed. “We should figure out dinner.”

 

Edward groaned and traced his fingers through the sparse hairs on Carlisle’s chest. “Give me a few more minutes.”

**~0~**

Later that weekend, after a particularly intense scene, Edward was still lost to subspace as Carlisle worked to undo his binds. “Talk to me, sweetheart,” Carlisle encouraged, massaging Edward’s jaw after he took the ball gag from his mouth.

 

“Hmm?” Edward’s eyes weren’t focused. He kind of crumpled forward when Carlisle loosened the ties binding his arms to the wall.

 

Carlisle laughed as he caught him, holding him up. “Are you okay?” he repeated.

 

“Um.” Edward gave a shaky laugh. “Yeah, Daddy.”

 

He was trembling. Carlisle had to stretch, but he got his hands on a blanket. He wrapped it around Edward, rubbing his back. “Can you stand yet?”

 

Edward wrapped his arms around his neck and shook his head. “Nope.”

 

Carlisle shook his head, knowing damn well Edward could probably walk if he wanted to. But he humored him anyway. He lifted the other man up into his arms and carried him to bed. Edward’s eyes as he laid him down were a little more with it, but he was still smiling in that blissed out way.

 

“That was hot,” Edward said, dancing his fingers along Carlisle’s side.

 

“Mmhmm. You always are.”

 

Edward snickered.

 

Carlisle got up off the bed and returned a minute later with a cool, damp cloth. He cleaned Edward off and soothed the irritated skin around his sensitive nipples, smiling as his boy hummed to himself.

 

When their eyes met, they both sighed. It was getting late and the weekend was coming to a close. They’d have to return to the hospital the next day and pretend they could keep their hands off each other.

 

“Hey, Carlisle?” Edward said after a moment.

 

“What’s that?”

 

Edward tugged on his arm until Carlisle got the idea and lay down beside him, facing him. His expression was quite a bit more serious than it had been just a minute before. “I’ve been thinking about what we talked about on Friday.”

 

Carlisle was momentarily shocked. “You mean about Esme?”

 

“Yeah.” Edward swallowed hard, his eyes dropping to about Carlisle’s chest level as though he was still thinking about what he had to say. “I think I’m okay with it.”

 

“You think?”

 

“Yeah. I mean. I understand what you’re doing for her. I understand what it is, I understand why she needs it, and why you want to be the one to help her. She has no one else, and I get that.” He huffed. “I’m not happy about it, but I’ve been thinking. You’ve been doing this with her for a lot longer than I’ve known you. It’s not fair of me to ask me you to give this up.”

 

“It might not be fair, but it’s a matter of what you’re comfortable with and what you aren’t, Edward. You’re important to me, and I don’t want to do anything that will jeopardize what we have.”

 

“Well, what you’re doing with her has nothing to do with us. I’m with you on that, and I trust you. And I don't think I necessarily have to be comfortable with everything you do, so long as I respect why you do it. Which I do.”

 

Carlisle cupped his cheek, looking him in the eyes. “Are you sure?”

 

“Yeah. I think it’s something I can get used to. At least, I want to try. I mean, if it doesn’t work, if I really have a problem with it...we’ll figure it out then.”

 

“That’s more than fair,” Carlisle said. He leaned in and kissed Edward, an adoring kiss. “You’re good to me, you know that?”

 

“Yeah, well.” Edward huffed. He still looked nervous for some reason. “There’s something else. I was going to tell you on Friday, but you distracted me with Esme.”

 

Carlisle pulled back. He was alarmed when he saw that some of the color had drained from Edward’s cheeks. “Sweetheart, what is it?”

 

Edward eyed him. “Okay, I just want to remind you that I have no experience with this kind of stuff either, okay? So if this is too early or something, you just have to tell me.”

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

Edward dropped his gaze “Well, my parents are going to be in town for my birthday next weekend. They want to take me out to dinner.” He swallowed hard and looked up again. “I want you to come. As my boyfriend.”

 

“Oh.” Carlisle’s heart seemed to drop into his stomach at the idea, which was ridiculous. He remembered meeting Edward’s parents a couple of months before. They were aloof. Mr. Masen had that look like he’d appraised everything he saw and found it lacking.

 

“You don’t have to,” Edward said quickly. “I know that’s kind of a big step, and we haven’t really been together that long. Technically. We--”

 

Carlisle put his hand over Edward’s mouth. “If you want me to be there, I want to be there.” He moved his thumb to the divot in Edward’s chin. “If you’re sure they wouldn’t have a reason to tell the hospital about us, I’ll meet them. As your boyfriend I mean.”

 

Edward’s eyes brightened again. “Are you sure?”

 

“Yes. Yes, of course.” Carlisle caressed the skin along his hairline. “Edward, I wish I could tell everyone about us. Yeah, it’s a big step, but I’m glad I’m yours. If you’re ready for it, I am too.”

 

Edward swallowed the space between them, tangling their legs together so he could kiss Carlisle senseless. “Thank you.”

  
“There’s nothing to thank me for, baby. I’m in this all the way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Packy and MyOnlyHeroin don’t trust me further than they can throw me. I wonder why. Capricorn75 and barburella are my life now. 
> 
> And you. You out there? I love you.


	18. Bittersweet Birthday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello dahlings. I know we’re expecting to go to dinner with the rents, but the boys had other plans. Fuckers. They both do whatever they want. I have no control over them.

The bad news was Edward’s actual birthday fell on a weekday he was scheduled to work. The good news was his loving boyfriend told him to come over the night before.

 

Edward figured he would get some midnight birthday nookie and wake up in Carlisle’s bed. They could steal coffee-flavored kisses before they had to be at work. Maybe if he was lucky, Carlisle would treat him to a lunch time nooner. Even if that didn’t happen, there was always after work to consider. He’d be going over to his boyfriend’s place again.

 

Having a boyfriend was pretty damn great.

 

But, the fates were against him. The night before his birthday, Carlisle got stuck in a long emergency surgery. So, Edward went home to an empty house. He toyed with the idea of calling his best friend--they hadn’t seen each other for weeks with his busy schedule--but he was pouting. He wasn’t going to make anyone deal with him when he was pouting.

 

Well, unless it was Carlisle and one of his lovely paddles. Though, come to think of it, Bella had lovely paddles of her own, being a Domme and all. Edward wondered if she would have taken pity on him if he ever had a long enough dry spell. Like Carlisle did for Esme.

 

Of course, that line of thought was only going to make him grumpier. How would Carlisle feel, he wondered, if he ever went to Bella for that--a night of release? It wasn’t the same, he knew. As long as he had Carlisle, he wouldn’t ever be that desperate. Also, it was reassuring in a way. If he’d ever been desperate enough to turn to Bella for the help, there wouldn’t be any sex involved--just the power exchange.

 

Edward poured himself wine and settled in to wait.

 

It was past eleven when Carlisle got home. Edward could tell with a glance he was exhausted.

 

“Everything okay?” he asked, because that was the most important thing.

 

Carlisle twisted a finger in the drawstring of his pajama pants and tugged. Smiling, Edward closed the last steps between them.

 

“Patient lived then?” Edward asked, skimming his fingers along Carlisle's back as the other man took his face in his hands.

 

“Of course. She had the best doctor in the world, didn’t she?”

 

Edward snickered and pressed a palm between Carlisle’s shoulders. “The most modest one, too.”

 

Carlisle hummed and ducked his head, finally kissing him. Edward’s back arched from the thrill of electricity that went down his spine. He whimpered and held on for dear life.

 

“Babe, aren’t you tired?” Edward said, breathless between kisses.

 

“Mmm. Yes.” Carlisle skimmed the tip of his nose along Edward’s chin and pressed a kiss to his throat. “They tell me one needs a little stamina to keep up with twenty-four-year-old misfits.”

 

“I’m still twenty-three.”

 

Carlisle took Edward by the waist and pushed him backward against the door. Edward gasped, and his breath caught when the blond man looked at him. His eyes were dark with intent and bright with adoration all at once. “Don’t start lying about your age, Edward,” he said in that low rumble that always made Edward’s knees weak.

 

He didn’t have time to retort. In the next breath, Carlisle was pressed up against him, kissing him again.

 

Forty minutes later, they were tangled in Carlisle’s bedsheets, naked and covered in a sheen of sweat. Edward wasn’t really awake. He was dozing in that sated love-drunk space, smiling and groggily moving his fingers with Carlisle’s, just touching a little.

 

“Baby.” Carlisle was kissing him again, open-mouthed kisses along his shoulder. “Baby boy.”

 

“Hmm?” Edward dragged his eyes open with some reluctance. He was glad he did. It was a beautiful sight.

 

Carlisle’s smile was gentle. He rested a hand on Edward’s chest, running his fingertips in lazy circles. “You’re twenty-four. I thought you should know.”

 

Edward put his hand over Carlisle’s and twined their fingers together. “For the record? Already the best present I’ll get today.”

 

“The day is young, little boy.” He nipped at Edward’s lips. “I have others.”

 

That woke Edward up a little more. “Like, now?”

 

Carlisle held up a finger. “One for now.”

 

Edward’s eyes widened. “There’s more than one?”

 

“I’ve never had a beautiful boy to spoil. Indulge me.”

 

Edward sighed with mock annoyance. “If I must.”

 

He sat up, eager to see Carlisle’s first gift. He couldn’t help the rush of giddiness he felt. It was silly, but he hadn’t really had any gifts on his birthday since he was thirteen. His parents thought birthday celebrations were childish, even though they’d used it as an excuse to visit him since he’d moved away for graduate school.

 

“Close your eyes.”

 

Trying not to laugh, Edward obeyed.

 

“Put your hands out.”

 

Edward did, flashing back to the ruler striking the flesh of his palms. He couldn’t say the prospect didn’t send a rush of excitement through him, but now wasn’t the time. He wanted presents, dammit.

 

What Carlisle laid in his hands wasn’t unrelated to Edward’s brief fantasy of the ruler. He knew what it was the instant it was in his hands. He opened his eyes, and he had to grin.

 

It was a paddle. Edward could tell right away, it was handcrafted; custom made if he knew Carlisle as well as he thought he did. Carved into the handle was the same design from his cuff. Two hearts were cut into the wood so it would leave two unmarked hearts on an otherwise red ass.

 

Now Edward did laugh. “Is it strange that I find this incredibly romantic?”

 

Carlisle grinned. “So you like it?”

 

“Did you ever doubt I would?”

 

Carlisle’s smile gentled. “Turn it over.”

 

Edward did, and his heart warmed as he laughed again. The words “Baby Boy” were embossed on the back. “I love it,” he said, running his fingers over the words. He tilted his head up, catching a quick kiss. Then he rested the paddle on the bed and shook free of the blankets. “Come on. Let’s try it out,” he said, getting to his hands and knees.

 

Now it was Carlisle who laughed. “Right now?”

 

Edward wiggled his ass. “Twenty-four and one to grow on. Twenty-five. Nice number.” He wagged his ass again. “Come on, Daddy.”

 

Carlisle chuckled, getting to his feet and hefting the paddle, testing its weight. “You’re insatiable, you know that?”

 

A delicious thrill went through Edward. Yes, he was going to collect his birthday licks, and then he was going to be fucked into the mattress. Again. “That’s why you love me, isn’t it?”

 

“No.” Carlisle rubbed the paddle in circles on Edward’s ass. “But it’s a perk.”

**~0~**

It was one of those days at work that wouldn’t quit.

 

Edward hit the ground running. Before he could even take off his backpack, a nurse grabbed him. There’d been a three car pile up with multiple injuries, and they needed all hands on deck. He dropped his backpack off to the side in a random hallway and held the hand of a thrashing little girl, calming her down as they wheeled her into surgery.

 

She wanted her mommy and daddy, but they were both in a bad way. She wanted her little brother, but he was a baby--thankfully only scratched--who couldn’t come to her. Edward foolishly promised to be there when she woke up. He would have said anything to soothe her terror, even if only minutely.

 

Under any other circumstance, Edward would have tried his damndest to keep his promise. As it turned out though, he didn’t have time to think about the little girl after her gurney left his sight. It was one thing after another, and both he and Carlisle were running around so much, they only caught glimpses of each other in passing. They always seemed to be on different surgical teams.

 

Toward the afternoon, a patient started to crash and had to be wheeled into emergency surgery. Edward was flying on his own, without the supervision of his superiors. It wasn’t the first time it had happened, and Edward was confident in his abilities. Still, his heart dropped to his shoes when he saw the patient was the same little girl from that morning.

 

“Was she awake before?” Edward asked a nurse who had been with the child.

 

“Yes, the poor angel. She wanted her mommy and daddy.”

 

“Did they make it?”

 

“Yes. They’re both in critical but stable condition.”

 

Edward set to work with just that much more determination. This time he would be there when she opened her eyes. He would sit with her because her parents couldn’t.

 

He and his team did everything right, but two hours into the surgery, the little girl flatlined and couldn’t be resuscitated. She slipped away as Edward and the rest of his team worked feverishly over her.  

 

The other doctors and nurses picked up fairly quickly on the fact he needed to be alone. Carlisle was probably the only one he’d have let near him, but he’d gone home an hour before. As he dressed methodically, alone in the locker room, Edward thought it was probably better that Carlisle wasn’t there. He didn’t want the consoling words of his mentor right then. He knew he’d done everything he could, and he knew it wasn’t his fault. He also knew that it would have been irresponsible to keep his promise to a scared little girl. There was no way he could have known how long it would take her to wake up, and he’d had other patients to attend to, other emergencies.

 

No, Edward didn’t want to hear any of that.

 

Fading adrenaline worked the same way no matter the outcome. Edward remembered sneaking off for a back seat booty call with Carlisle when they’d come out of a particularly intense surgery. It was the same building emotion he felt now, but amplified with his frustration and grief. The energy still existed right under his skin, demanding an outlet, demanding to be spent.

 

As he left the hospital, Edward sent a quick text to Bella. They were supposed to go out to a birthday dinner so she could finally meet the elusive Dr. Cullen, but that would have to wait. Edward wasn't interested in food or any company save for Carlisle.

 

Actually, aside from the fact he was desperate to be in Carlisle’s presence, Edward didn’t know what the hell he wanted right then. The weird energy brought with it a disconnect from reality as he drove. His blood seemed to have taken on some kind of kinetic quality, and it vibrated in veins. It brought with it a low hum between his ears that distracted him from being able to string two thoughts together.

 

When he got out of the car he tried to shake the energy away, but it clung stubbornly. It was really beginning to piss him off. Tonight was supposed to be a good night.

 

“Hey, is that you?” Carlisle called when Edward walked in the door.

 

“Depends on which ‘you’ you’re expecting,” Edward called back. He frowned and touched a hand to his neck. The words came out choked, which wasn’t surprising considering the painful lump in his throat.

 

Carlisle appeared in the entryway just as Edward got to the end of it. They nearly ran into each other, and Carlisle reached out to steady him. With that simple touch, Edward felt a frantic rush go through him. He grabbed at the other man, cutting off his, “What happened t--” with a rough kiss.

 

It took a few seconds for Carlisle to get over his shock, but when he did, he broke their kiss. “Whoa,” he said, sounding dizzy. He smacked his lips together, his eyes focusing. “What happened?”

 

“Nothing I want to talk about right now,” Edward said, taking Carlisle’s face between his hands and kissing him again. Or he tried, anyway. Carlisle dodged him, though he didn’t let him go.

 

“Something’s wrong,” Carlisle said, studying him intently.

 

Sometimes Edward hated how attuned Carlisle was to him. There was a time to talk and sometimes there was nothing to talk about. He just wanted to forget. “I’m fine,” he said, making every attempt to smirk. “Are you really so shocked I want to kiss my sexy boyfriend?” He tilted his head, capturing Carlisle’s lips before he could argue.

 

The other man made a somewhat disgruntled noise that vibrated on Edward’s lips, but he didn’t pull back. Not right away, at least. He matched Edward, kiss for hungry kiss, gripping his hips in a firm hold.

 

Eventually, though, he pulled away with a groan. “Talk to me, Edward,” he said, catching his breath. “What’s going on? You’ve got this energy coming off you I can’t keep up with.”

 

Irritated, Edward stepped out of Carlisle’s hold and went past him into the living room. “Nothing’s going on. I’ve been looking forward to a little birthday nookie all day, but apparently I’m being cockblocked by my own boyfriend.” He threw himself down on the couch with his arms crossed over his chest.

 

Carlisle followed him at a more measured pace. Rather than sit beside him, he stood in front of him. “I thought we were going to dinner first.”

 

“I changed my mind. I guess I’m not allowed to do that.”

 

Edward wasn’t looking at his boyfriend, but he could feel Carlisle’s stare on him as though his eyes were lasers. The house was too quiet, and Edward could hear Carlisle take a few calming breaths. “Okay. I need you to communicate with me. Something is happening with you, and I really need you to tell me what it is.”

 

“I already told you what’s wrong with me. I don’t want to talk, and I don’t want to go to dinner. All I want is you, and you’re being an ass about it.”

 

“You need to calm down,” Carlisle said, his tone still maddeningly cool and even. “Your face is bright red right now. Why are you so angry?”

 

Edward smacked the couch, so enraged he didn’t know what to do. “You’re not fucking listening to me! I want to play, and you’re standing there psychoanalyzing me.” He finally looked up at Carlisle, if only to glare at him.

 

His boyfriend was staring down at him, arms crossed and brows furrowed. He looked like he couldn’t decide whether to be pissed or concerned. Edward saw his nostrils flare as he took another deep breath before answering. “You want to have sex or you want to play?”

 

That sent a shock through Edward’s system. Despite his fury, he’d been getting progressively more miserable. He couldn’t seem to control his temper, and he kept waiting for Carlisle to start yelling. It hadn’t even occurred to him Carlisle would give him what he wanted.

 

He licked his lips, trying to pull a rational thought out of the cloudy mood that had come over him. What the hell did he want? He wanted this twisted adrenaline out of his system. The extreme highs of a scene might do the trick. He didn’t want anything for the faint of heart tonight, that was for sure.

 

“I want to play,” he said.

 

Carlisle held his gaze. “I’m going to give you another chance to reconsider that,” he said. Edward shivered because he’d slipped into the even, commanding cadence of the Dom in a split second. “You’ve been breaking a lot of rules you and I agreed on since you’ve walked in the door. So I’m going to ask you one more time. It’s your birthday, and it’s your choice. Do you want to fuck or do you want to play?”

 

Edward pressed his tongue to the roof of his mouth to control the whimper that threatened to escape. Any concrete thought he had scattered like leaves in a hurricane, and a thrill of excitement went down his spine.

 

He didn’t answer in words. Instead, he pushed himself off the couch and knelt, clasping his hands at his wrists behind his back and bowing his head.

 

“Look at me, pet,” Carlisle said, his voice gentle again.

 

Still breathless and flushed, Edward raised his head. Carlisle put a hand under his chin and looked him in the eyes. Edward could see the indecision there, and he understood that. He’d been a basket case since he walked in the door, and he was about to walk into a scene in that muddled state, laying the responsibility for himself at Carlisle’s feet.

 

Trust in a D/s relationship went both ways. Carlisle had to trust Edward knew his own needs, his own limits, and that, above all, he would be honest about them. “Tell me your safe word,” Carlisle said, checking again.

 

“Appendectomy.”

 

Carlisle nodded. Edward had made his choice, and clearly, he was going to respect it. “Stand up, little one.”

 

Edward had understood Carlisle’s threat very well when he gave him the choice. It was his birthday, but if they were going to play, all rules applied. Even though Edward understood what that meant, the roiling, uncomfortable energy refused to leave him alone. Despite having gotten his way after his temper tantrum, Edward continued to snap at Carlisle, throwing back smart ass comments. He couldn’t seem to let go of his anger.

 

No, this was worse than anger. It was as though there was something inside him, something that was getting more twisted with every passing minute. Whatever rational part of him was still there felt terrible about taking it out on his loving Dom, but that part of him was ironically tied and gagged in a corner of his mind somewhere.

 

Carlisle was being more lenient than normal. He gave several warnings, each of which only pissed Edward off more. Finally though, Edward’s smart-ass remarks crossed the line into straight out rudeness.

 

“Okay, little boy.” Carlisle stepped back and crossed his arms. “You’ve been asking for it all night, and you’ve got my attention now. You’re damn sure going to get what’s coming to you.” He snapped his fingers and pointed to the ground.

 

Edward dropped to his knees automatically, resuming the waiting position. His stomach tied itself in knots, and he couldn’t calm his erratic heartbeat. He hated displeasing his Dom so much, and yet even now he had to clench his jaw to keep from snapping again.

 

“I had something special planned for you tonight. We were going to have so much fun. All your favorite things are in the bedroom, ready for you.”

 

Edward’s heart dropped, and he felt as low as a slug. He swallowed hard, as though he could choke down his shame.

 

“Do you think your behavior is acceptable?”

 

“No, Sir,” Edward said, his voice tight.

 

“I don’t either. Bad boys don’t get rewarded with fun things, do they?”

 

“No, Sir.”

 

“I’m glad you agree. But it is still your birthday, so I’m going to give you a present. You’ve earned yourself a good twenty-five strokes, but I’m going to give you a choice. Go upstairs and get me whatever you think you deserve to be punished with.” Carlisle sat on the couch, his arms spread wide over the back. “Don’t keep me waiting.”

 

Edward wasn’t surprised to find his legs were shaking as he got to his feet. He didn’t make eye contact as he passed, but again he felt Carlisle’s eyes on him all the way up the stairs.

 

When he got to Carlisle’s room, the oppressive feeling of his shame and the poisonous energy got even worse. Carlisle hadn’t been lying about his plans. All of Edward’s favorites were laid on on the bed--edible wax, nipple clamps, his emerald plug to name a few. He really had intended to make Edward feel special tonight.

 

God, what the hell was wrong with him? Driving home, he’d been pissed that his bad mood was ruining what was supposed to be a good day for him, but he’d thoroughly trashed what could have been a great night.

 

Swallowing down his guilt, Edward went to Carlisle’s chest to look at the implements he kept there. He considered for a moment. On any other night, if he’d been breaking the rules as badly as he had tonight, he would have gotten a solid taste of Carlisle’s wickedest paddle at the very least. But his Dom was still being lenient, whether because of his erratic mood or because it was his birthday. Edward knew he wouldn’t say a word if he brought down something much lighter than he deserved. It wasn’t going to be fun, especially since his ass was still sore from his birthday spanking last night.

 

But Edward wasn’t in the mood to take it easy on himself. He picked up the nastiest strap he saw, took it downstairs, and presented it as he was supposed to.

 

Carlisle didn’t say anything at first as he took the strap from Edward. “Stand up,” he said after a few moments terrible silence. They both stood. “Bend over the arm of the couch.”

 

Even that was a small mercy. The reason Carlisle usually had him bend over with his hands flat on the stairs when he was being truly punished was because he would take the full brunt of the impact that way. That small kindness made Edward feel even worse. When the first strike of the stap landed, he cried out not in pain--well, not only in pain--but out of pure relief.

 

Punishment spankings weren’t supposed to be fun or playful, but it felt a damn sight better than all that pent up, terrible emotion that had been plaguing him since the hospital. Edward was glad of Carlisle’s mercy then. He clutched at the fabric of the couch, his body so tense he shook. His breath was ragged. His body jerked with each strike of the strap.

 

Edward dug his nails into the couch around the twelfth swish-crack, terrified for seconds that seemed to stretch into minutes that he was going to cry. Not because of the pain. In all honesty, the pain was tolerable. More than tolerable, it was cleansing. The bad juju that had been driving him crazy had the volume turned all the way down so he could think again.

 

No, what made Edward want to cry was the intensity of the emotion that hit him. He hated the idea he’d disappointed his Dom. Of everyone in the world, Edward should never have treated him so badly. As fucking always, Carlisle could be trusted to give him exactly what he needed. He’d gone into a scene despite his obvious misgivings because it was where Edward wanted, no, needed to be to deal with what he was feeling. He buried his head in his arms, groaning when Carlisle reiterated with the twentieth stroke that he didn’t like having to punish him, especially on a night like this, but he would.

 

The urge to cry finally receded when he let himself shout wordlessly into the couch cushions. He didn’t like feeling weak, but he was so spent.

 

Edward lay limp over the arm of the couch when it was over, breathing raggedly and shaking hard. He was still trying to make sense of the tangle of thoughts and feelings inside him, but that bad energy was, if not spent, then at least quiet in his bloodstream now.

 

“There, baby. All done. You’re okay.” Carlisle stroked his hair with a tender touch. “Come on, sweetheart.”

 

Edward couldn’t seem to move on his own. He was glad when Carlisle guided him up.

 

“Come here,” Carlisle said, sitting down on the couch and opening his arms.

 

They were both surprised at how quickly Edward flew at him. Coming down from the peak of emotion that a punishment brought on was always intense, but this was something Edward hadn’t ever experienced before. He clung to Carlisle like he was a life raft amidst flaming wreckage. His breath picked up, and he was almost wheezing as he buried his head at Carlisle’s neck.

 

“Jesus, Edward. Your heart is beating so hard.” Carlisle held him securely, rubbing his back. “It’s okay, honey. Just let go. I’m right here. I have you. I promise.”

 

Edward shook his head, trying to remember how to speak. “I’m sorry,” he said, the words coming out as a rasp. “I didn’t mean to be so fucking dumb.”

 

“None of that, baby. You’re not dumb.” Carlisle pressed a kiss to his crown. “I’m not mad, Edward. I’m not mad at all. You’re forgiven.”

 

Those words were what Edward needed to find calm again. He clung to Carlisle, catching his breath, letting the throbbing of his ass and his Dom’s arms around him ground him again. Carlisle didn’t let him go. He ran his hands through his hair and occasionally whispered something sweet and encouraging.

 

“I need you to talk to me now,” Carlisle said after a long time. “Tell me what’s going on with you. Please.”

 

Edward sighed. Time to be an adult, he supposed. To that end, he told himself to stop acting like a little boy and tried to get off his Daddy’s lap. Carlisle held him fast though. Edward tensed, but then he gave in. Fuck it, he thought, laying his head on Carlisle’s shoulder. Maybe it was childish, but this felt good.

 

Haltingly, he told Carlisle about the little girl at the hospital, and the weird, sickening energy he couldn’t get rid of. As he expected, Carlisle hugged him tightly and told him it wasn’t his fault. He said he was sorry it had happened.

 

Then, after a moment, he asked Edward a question he wasn’t expecting. “Did you act up to get me to hold you like this?”

 

“What? No.” But even as he said the words, Edward was struck by them.

 

“Let me phrase this another way. You obviously needed to be comforted, because you’re certainly lapping it up now. Why didn’t you just tell me?”

 

“I didn’t need to be comforted. I knew from the second it happened it wasn’t my fault. I'm a doctor. I'm going to lose patients. It's stupid to be upset.”

 

Carlisle put a thumb to his chin and guided his face up. “A little girl died on your table, Edward. It wasn’t your fault, and you know you did everything you could, but that is traumatic. It isn’t fair that her life is over way too soon. It isn’t fair she died. We see so much of the ugliness of life in our profession, and sometimes that’s going to get to you.”

 

Edward frowned. He knew Carlisle was right. It had been horrible to have that girl’s blood on his hands as she slipped away.

 

Carlisle smoothed his hair back, looking at him with such tenderness. “You like to say I like the soft stuff, but you know, the soft stuff isn’t a kink. It’s not some unique proclivity I have. I think you feel sometimes that you have to have the excuse of a punishment to get a good cuddle, but that’s not true.”

 

“It just seems...silly. When you think about it. The whole cuddling thing is silly.”

 

Carlisle laid back on the couch, keeping Edward in his arms. He began to stroke his hair, his cheeks with tender caresses. “This feels silly?”

 

Edward sighed, his eyes fluttering closed. “No,” he admitted.

 

“No,” Carlisle agreed. “I don’t know what it feels like to you, but for me, it’s nice. I feel warm and adored. It just feels good.”

 

Edward sighed again. He let Carlisle pet and caress him, showing him how good soft could feel. He let himself be soothed. And after a while, they sat up, and Edward straddled Carlisle again. They made love, their hips rocking together in a slow rhythm, their noses bumping between occasional, open-mouthed kisses.

  
Despite all the horrible crap in the middle, Edward’s birthday ended as it had begun--with him drifting off happy, sated, and feeling very loved. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So many thanks to my girls. They make me so happy.
> 
> These boys. Sigh. SO. How are we?


	19. Meet the Folks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello! Time for dinner with the folks!

Typically, Carlisle was as proud of the marks he left on Edward as Edward was of wearing them. There wasn’t a much greater sign of trust between two people than the things they did together. Carlisle never took that gift for granted. Edward liked pain. He liked to relinquish control of his body and will. It was an incredible thing that he let Carlisle hurt him because he trusted implicitly that he would never, ever take him too far.

 

This morning, the morning after Edward’s birthday, Carlisle wasn’t sure he wanted to see the bruises he’d given the other man the night before. It wasn’t that he felt like he’d been wrong; he knew he hadn’t been. Edward had both wanted and needed that punishment. More often than not, a submissive’s desire for freedom from self, the ability to relinquish control, brought a greater pleasure than most would ever know. However, there was something in that desire that  was pure need--not a choice or a lifestyle, a need--and that need wasn’t always sexual.

 

Edward’s submission, and in this case his punishment, was part of how he processed what he felt and how he coped with the stresses of life. This was exactly why a submissive was always the one in real control of a BDSM relationship. Everything Carlisle did was for him. He derived his pleasure from Edward’s freedom, and his satisfaction of his own needs from fulfilling Edward’s.

 

But, even as Edward wasn’t always meant to enjoy his punishments, so Carlisle wasn’t always meant to enjoy being the punisher. He hated that Edward was hurting and that there was some part of him that didn’t know how to ask for comfort. He especially hated that it had happened on his birthday. Carlisle had wanted so much to make Edward feel special and happy.

 

The night had ended well enough. Carlisle had given the man he loved what he needed to calm the maelstrom in his head and heart. Then, he’d made sure Edward knew how cherished he was. Still, there was something off, and Carlisle couldn’t pinpoint what it was. This was exactly what he did for Esme--taking care of the most basic of her needs as a submissive, taking control of all the things that would otherwise fester in her. Whenever he was done with her, he felt pleased that he could help, not bereft.

 

But at the end of those sessions, Esme had always found the release she needed. She cried and kicked and screamed, safe with Carlisle in a way she wasn’t with anyone else.

 

Edward still hadn’t cried.

 

Thinking back on the conversation he’d had with Esme about it, Carlisle recalled thinking that it wasn’t his business whether or not Edward cried. He was his Dom not his boyfriend.

 

Well, he was the boyfriend now, and he was going to figure this out.

 

Carlisle started by pulling the blankets down off Edward’s shoulders. He was sleeping on his stomach, which was understandable. Carlisle winced in sympathy. Twenty-five strokes with a strap wasn’t an easy punishment. When he sent Edward upstairs to choose something to be punished with, he’d hoped against hope he’d bring something like the ruler--something that would have shown Carlisle there was something playful about the way he’d been acting. When he brought down the scariest strap Carlisle owned, his stomach had churned. He knew with certainty, then, that there was something very, very wrong. Still, he would have done anything to wipe that look of tortured misery off Edward’s face.

 

No, Carlisle wasn’t sorry for actually inflicting these bruises, but he was sorry he’d had to. However, today was a new day. They were off work for the day, and Edward’s parents wouldn’t be in town until that evening. Carlisle was determined to make his boyfriend feel special, and besides, there were still a few gifts he hadn’t had the chance to give Edward.

 

Ready to get to business, Carlisle set right to work. He gave himself a moment to admire Edward. It was a beautiful sight. His head was turned to the side, his handsome face peaceful. His hair was perfectly mussed from sleep, and Carlisle’s hands the night before. The lines of his body, the slope of his shoulders were inviting, begging for Carlisle’s touch.

 

Resting his hand on the small of Edward’s back, Carlisle began to kiss him. He started at the space where his shoulder met his neck. He pressed a soft kiss there and then dragged the tip of his nose an inch or so away and kissed there and so on, all the while rubbing Edward’s back with a light hand.

 

He’d worked his lips down to the center of his back and his fingertips to the back of his knees before Edward stirred enough to speak. “Carlisle?” he mumbled on a breath.

 

Carlisle kissed his way back up and laid down, resting his head on the same pillow as Edward’s. He smiled at his sleepy, beautiful boy and traced a finger tip along his hairline. “Good morning, love.”

 

Edward’s grin spread slow and lazy across his face, his cheeks turning a light pink at Carlisle’s tender endearment. “Hey.”

 

There was something shy about Edward’s look, the way he ducked his head into the cradle of his arms. Carlisle kissed his forehead and stroked the skin right behind his ear. “Are you okay?”

 

“Mhmm,” Edward mumbled into the crook of his arm, peeking one eye at Carlisle.

 

Yes. Definitely shy, and that was new. “Why don’t I make you some breakfast while you take a shower, hmm? Anything you want.”

 

Edward quirked an eyebrow. “It’s not my birthday anymore.”

 

“Ah, well. That’s an astute observation, but it doesn’t really answer my question.”

 

“Anything I want?” Edward pushed himself up onto one elbow.

 

Carlisle sighed, more in love with this man than he knew how to deal with. “Anything I can give you.”

 

Edward leaned in to peck at his lips. “Then I want you in the shower with me.” He pecked his lips again. “And maybe then we’ll talk about breakfast.”

**~0~**

Some time later, they were both relatively clean and dressed in robes. Carlisle stood at the stove, flipping chocolate chip and banana pancakes while Edward leaned against him, arms around his waist, head on his shoulder, humming and pressing the occasional lazy kiss to his neck.

 

They sat down to their breakfast of pancakes and orange juice in companionable silence. Carlisle stirred butter into the warm syrup and tried to think of how to segue into the conversation he wanted to have.

 

Edward cleared his throat. “I’m sorry I was such an asshole last night,” he said, his voice matching the shy looks he’d been giving Carlisle all morning. “I feel like an idiot.”

 

“Why would you feel that way?”

 

“Come on. The things I said, what I did, was at least immature.” He grimaced. “At most, it was borderline psychotic. I bit your head off over nothing.”

 

“I appreciate that you can recognize you were being unreasonable, but under the circumstances, it was understandable.”

 

“Don’t make excuses for me.”

 

“I’m not.” Carlisle put his fork down. “Edward, you’re not always going to make the most rational choices. Cut yourself a little slack at least. You had an emotional reaction to losing a patient. It’s not as though you’re the first doctor in the world to do it.” He huffed. “I wrecked the on call room once when I lost a patient. Now that’s immaturity.”

 

Edward raised his eyebrows. “Really?”

 

“Ask Dr. Snow. He was there.” Carlisle picked up his fork again and dragged a bite of pancake through the small pool of buttery syrup. “Can I ask you a question?”

 

“Course.”

 

Carlisle looked up at Edward. “Why don’t you cry?”

 

The other man seemed taken aback. “What?”

 

“Days like yesterday...most people would have cried losing a patient that way. Especially one so young.” He paused, studying the unreadable look on Edward’s face. “And when I punish you. You never cry.”

 

Edward huffed and looked down. “Why would I?”

 

Carlisle had to laugh--a light, incredulous chuckle. “Because it hurts, for one thing.”

 

Edward rolled his eyes. “Oh no. Pain,” he said, his voice deadpan. “God knows I can’t take pain. It’s not like I’m a pain slut or anything.”

 

“Being able to withstand pain and not crying aren’t mutually exclusive ideas. The emotional release of crying when we’re in pain or simply when we feel bad is cathartic.”

 

“Yeah, Carlisle, I understand the mechanics of why humans cry. I had that class, too,” Edward said, irritation coloring his voice. “But that’s just not the way I work. It wouldn’t make me feel better. It’d make me feel like a fucking wimp. I’m an adult. Big boys don’t cry.”

 

Elbow on the table, Carlisle raised his hand in a placating motion. “You’re getting defensive for no reason. I’m not criticizing you; I’m only asking.”

 

Edward made a visible effort to calm down. “Right, well. I don’t like crying.”

 

There was a lot Carlisle wanted to say to that, but he didn't want to push. He still wanted today to be nice, and ignoring Edward's discomfort with the subject was the best way to go about that. So Carlisle swallowed his concern and his curiosity.

 

“Okay,” Carlisle said, letting it go. He pushed his plate away. “I have something for you. A present.”

 

At that, Edward’s tight expression faded into one of surprise. “Something else? It’s not my birthday anymore, remember?” His grin had returned full force despite his words.

 

“Yes, well. I wanted to have something to give you at dinner with your friend.” He got up from the table and went to rummage in the space underneath the counter where he’d hidden the nicely wrapped gift. “Not for you, you understand. It’s more so she’ll be impressed by me.”

 

“Oh, right. Of course. Rook the best friend, and she won’t believe me when I tell her you abuse me. I’ll show her my butt.” He shifted in his seat with a grimace. He was sitting on a pillow as it was.

 

Carlisle snorted. “Please do. I suspect she might want to shake my hand after that.”

 

“Heh. That’s true. Bella does admire an even hand.”

 

Shaking his head, Carlisle set the box in front of him, nervous now.

 

“This is a big box.” Edward put his hands on either side and shook it.

 

“Oh for heaven’s sake. Are you five? Just open it.”

 

Edward flashed him a bratty smile and proceeded to open his gift with excruciating slowness. Carlisle shook his head as he dropped into the seat next to him. “If you don’t like it or you already have one, don’t be afraid of hurting my feelings. We can return it and get something you like.”

 

“I’m sure I’ll…” Edward’s bemused smile faded into shock and then finally glee as he tore off the rest of the paper. “Is this...oh, wow! It is.”

 

It as an astrophotography camera. A good one.

 

Edward looked up at him, his eyes bright with excitement. “How did you know? How did you know I was even into this kind of stuff?”

 

Carlisle gave a short laugh, pleased that Edward was so obviously happy with his gift. “I’m aware you have more interests than being tied to my walls.” He tilted his head, studying Edward with a small smile. “When you have a night shift, you take your breaks on the roof of the hospital so you can look at the stars. And you read almost as many astronomy journals as you do medical journals.”

 

“It was a close call--whether I was going to go into astronomy or medicine.” Edward sighed, his tone wistful as he pulled the camera free of the box. “I wanted to be an astronaut.”

 

“Hmm.” Carlisle traced the shape of Edward’s jaw with his thumb. “All things considered, I’m glad you settled on medicine.”

 

Edward cupped his free hand around Carlisle’s head, pulling him in for a kiss. “Me, too.”

**~0~**

Carlisle wasn’t exactly an expert on good relationships between parents and children. He and his father had hardly spoken in decades. He liked to think, though, that there was typically some warmth between a child and his parents.

 

When he met the Masens some months before, the atmosphere had been rather stiff and formal. That was understandable. The hospital was Edward’s place of business, and Carlisle met them then in the guise of his superior.

 

Now, as part of a couple headed for dinner, Carlisle was struck by the difference in Edward’s demeanor. He was visibly nervous, running his hands through his hair so often as he drove, Carlisle very nearly grabbed his hand.

 

Instead, he reached out and squeezed Edward’s knee. Edward spared him a glance and a small smile.

 

The restaurant where they were meeting Edward’s parents was closer to the airport than the hospital. Just in case, Carlisle waited until they were safely inside--and he’d had a quick look around to make sure there were no familiar faces--before he turned to reach for Edward’s hand. To his surprise, the other man had put a significant distance between them. He was walking stiffly, facing forward.

 

Carlisle had been trying not to let his nerves get the better of him. Edward’s sudden aloofness wasn’t helping. He put his hand back at his side, wiping his palm surreptitiously on his pants. He realized he’d been doing his best not to think too hard about this dinner, and as a result, he had no idea what to expect. Edward had hinted that his parents, while not totally unaccepting, weren’t comfortable that he was gay. Then there was the fact Carlisle was so much older and Edward’s superior.

 

That was a daunting list of why a parent might not be thrilled to know Carlisle was dating their child.

 

Mr. and Mrs. Masen were already waiting at the table. As they approached, they both stood. Elizabeth Masen offered her son a tight smile. Ed Masen Sr. made no effort to smile at all, but let his gaze pass over Edward to assess Carlisle. He raised his head, his expression impassive.

 

“There you are, Junior.” Elizabeth took Edward’s hand and kissed his cheek.

 

“You’re late,” Ed said. He offered his hand for Edward to shake.

 

Carlisle saw Edward’s small smile falter as he shook his father’s hand in greeting. “By five minutes.”

 

Ed clapped his free hand over his son’s giving them a squeeze before letting go. “No excuses.”

 

“Yes, sir.” Edward made an attempt to square his shoulders. “Mom. Dad. You remember Carlisle? I introduced you when you visited a few months ago.”

 

“It’s nice to see you again, Mrs. Masen.” Carlisle took her offered hand and squeezed it before he turned to Ed. “Mr. Masen.”

 

Ed hesitated a moment before taking Carlisle’s hand and shaking. “Somewhat surprising to see you again in this context, Mr. Cullen.”

 

Carlisle noticed the missing honorific, but he didn’t call attention to it. Instead, he smiled as they all sat. “Surprises make life interesting, I think.”

 

They ordered wine, and Carlisle couldn’t get over how formal everything felt. Edward had relaxed somewhat, but even though some of the tension had lessened, the conversation was stilted.

 

“So, Junior. Did you do anything special yesterday?” Elizabeth asked as they all looked over their menus.

 

Edward paled a bit at that. “I worked.” He swallowed hard, looking down at the menu. “I lost a patient.”

 

“Oh. That’s very sad,” Elizabeth said in a tone that suggested she might have been talking about a dead plant instead of a dead little girl. “That happens, I’d expect.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Yes, Junior,” Ed corrected. “Occupational hazard. Everyone dies. No point in being upset about it.”

 

“I’m not upset,” Edward mumbled, still staring downward.

 

Carlisle put his hand on his boyfriend's knee, squeezing. He knew enough about picking his battles not to challenge Ed on this one, but that didn’t mean he wanted Edward to think his father was right. ”Death is inevitable for all of us,” Carlisle said because he agreed with that much. “But Edward had a high track record, especially in emergency surgery. He’s a great surgeon--dedicated and intuitive.”

 

Ed puffed up a little. “Of course he is. Junior knows he can succeed anywhere he puts his mind to. He was raised with a strong work ethic.” He leveled Carlisle with a cool look. “Though it looks like that’s been somewhat compromised of late, hasn’t it?”

 

Edward’s head snapped up, and Elizabeth said, “Ed,” quietly, under her breath. Before anyone could respond, the waiter reappeared to take their orders.

 

By the time the waiter had run off again, Carlisle had every intention of changing the subject, but Ed had other ideas.

 

“I suppose it was tactless of me to mention it, but I’m not going to pretend I like this turn of events.”

 

Edward huffed. “Dad--”

 

“No, Junior. I understand. You’re young, and I’m sure it’s very nice to have the attention of an older man whom you made it very clear you admired last time we saw you. But this is not how you were raised. We taught you ethics. Just because your superior doesn’t give a damn about them, doesn’t mean you have to follow in his footsteps.”

 

“Mr. Masen,” Carlisle began, but Edward cut him off.

 

“Don’t put this on Carlisle,” he said, his tone even and oddly calm despite the fire in his eyes. “I’m the one who started things between us.”

 

“Yes. I’m sure he did nothing to encourage you.” Ed looked to Carlisle. “Or you tell me what a forty-year-old man wants with a boy half his age.”

 

“Dad--” Edward started, but Carlisle held his hand up.

 

“No, it’s fine, Edward. It’s a valid question.” Carlisle throat was tight with fury, but he was somehow able to keep his tone soft. “Mr. Masen, I never would have suspected a man like Edward would want anything to do with a man like me. But I'm not going to be sorry about it. Your son is a gift, and I'm not the kind of person who would take someone this special for granted just because things aren't as neat as we'd like."

 

"Very nice words, but you and I both know how this works. I’d imagine your career is stable. This is all very low risk for you, Mr. Cullen.”

 

“You know, Carlisle is a doctor. If you’re going to keep running with the extra formal thing, at least give him the respect he’s earned,” Edward said, his voice rough but still quiet.

 

His father narrowed his eyes, his mouth turning down in distaste. “Settle down. Your dramatics got old when you were five. Attempt to act your age, Junior.”

 

Carlisle was taken aback by this. Edward hadn’t so much as raised his voice. He took Edward’s hand beneath the table, running a thumb over his knuckles to soothe him. To his surprise, rather than get angrier, Edward was already reining in his temper. His face had become a blank, emotionless mask.

 

“Perhaps now isn’t the best time for this conversation,” Elizabeth said, looking embarrassed and uncomfortable.

 

“Let me say one more thing,” Carlisle said. “To answer your concerns, I want you to know I care for Edward. Of all people, I’ve been in the best position to see just how brilliant a doctor he is, how bright a future he has. Believe me, Edward’s career is one of my biggest concerns and priorities. However, I also respect his choices. We both got into this with our eyes open, realizing the potential complications, and we’re managing those together.”

 

Ed stared at him a moment before he grunted, taking a long drink of his wine. “I’ve said what I had to say, and it’s not my life to live.” He looked to his son. “You want to make decisions with your...heart instead of common sense, that’s up to you, Junior. Just don’t expect any sympathy from me.”

**~0~**

Both Carlisle and Edward were quiet on the way home, each lost in their own thoughts.

 

Dinner hadn’t been bad after that initial hiccup. It had been pleasant in many ways, if a little awkward. His parents quite obviously cared about him, even if Ed did go about that in an infuriating way. Carlisle had also noticed that Elizabeth slipped a “little something” into Edward’s pocket as a gift. They weren’t unloving, they were just...lukewarm in their affection.

 

But in observing Edward with his parents, Carlisle thought he might have an answer to his question about why the younger man didn’t cry. It was the same reason cuddling didn’t come easy to him, why “the soft stuff” caught him off guard.

 

There just wasn’t a lot of tenderness between him and his parents. It was obvious that any display of emotion, whether demonstrations of love or even the slightest bit of anger, was discouraged. Carlisle had tangled his fingers with Edward’s as they were saying goodbye and had noticed Ed grimace--too much PDA, apparently.

 

It was no wonder Edward used words like silly to describe cuddling and stupid when he thought about crying. Of course. Cuddling and crying weren’t very rational, Carlisle supposed.

 

As they neared Carlisle’s house, he took Edward’s hand from the shifter and brought it to his lips. He pressed a kiss to his knuckles, watching as the look on Edward’s face gentled. He smiled as he looked over at Carlisle.

 

“What’s that for?"

 

“Do I need a reason to kiss you other than I love you?”

  
Edward’s grin broadened. “I love you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Heeeeeyyyy, you. 
> 
> Yeah, you. 
> 
> You’re beautiful.


	20. Out and Proud

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Wow. I’m sorry about the wait. Life and illness got the better of me. Trying to get on track now.

Edward was about three hundred percent certain Carlisle and Bella had forgotten he existed. Not that he minded. He was laying across Bella's couch with his head on Carlisle’s lap. Carlisle was stroking his fingers through his hair in that absent-minded way cats got stroked. He’d have purred if he knew how.

 

“How’s your rope work?” Bella asked.

 

“Rudimentary,” Carlisle said, and Edward snorted. Carlisle tugged on his ear but otherwise didn’t pay any attention to him. “The complicated knots are pretty, I’ll admit, but they take so long. And for what? So I can have this one hanging from the ceiling in one position? If I wanted to fuck something that couldn’t move, I’d buy a doll.”

 

“Dolls aren’t as warm as me,” Edward mumbled. He opened his eyes and smirked up at Carlisle. “Or as hot for that matter.”

 

Carlisle finally looked at him. He pressed his thumb to Edward’s mouth. The look in his eyes turned tender when Edward kissed his skin sweetly. “Are you trying to say you want me to show off all my Boy Scout knots on you?”

 

“Oh. Only if you wear that stupid little uniform while you do it.” He cocked his head thoughtfully. “I went home with a leather daddy once who only wanted to tie me up. It took forever. Very boring.”

 

“See, you two are my kind of people,” Bella said. “I want to tie your hands up out of the way--awesome. Free access so I can do anything I want to your body. Tie your legs spread eagle? I’m all over that. That gives me access to all sorts of lovely things. But more than that? Not my scene.”

 

“Hmm. Or leather. Not a huge fan of leather face masks,” Carlisle said. “Have you seen the ones that look like dogs?”

 

“I took a guy home once who wanted to wear one of those and a butt plug that looked like a doggy tail.” Bella shrugged. “Fun for an evening, but no, I can’t say I’d want to play that way long-term.”

 

Some time later, Carlisle had volunteered to go on a food run, leaving Edward and Bella alone.

 

“So,” she said.

 

Edward threw an arm over his eyes and stretched out on her couch. He peeked at her with a grin. “So?”

 

Bella laughed. “You are so in love it’s sickening.”

 

“Yeah, well.” Edward closed his eyes again and didn’t bother to hide his grin.

 

“Edward, it is ridiculous how attractive that man is. More than that, it’s unfair.”

 

“I know, right?”

 

“Christ, it’s too bad you two can’t procreate. Can you imagine how gorgeous that love child would be? Good god.”

 

Edward’s cheeks flushed hot, and he grinned wider.

 

“Oh my god. It’s that serious, huh? You’d totally have his little blond uber babies.”

 

Edward threw one of her couch pillows at her. “Shut up.”

 

“Just be prepared for the awkward conversations. ‘Papa? Why do you call Daddy Daddy?’”

 

“You’re a horrible person.”

 

“Uh huh.” Bella chuckled. “Oh, man. You’re too young to get married, Edward.”

 

“What. Ever.” He sighed, happy despite his embarrassment. “This is nice.”

 

“What? Me getting to tease you for once?”

 

“Ha. No. I mean being able to talk about it. To be out in the open. We have to be so careful, and it’s getting old.”

 

“It’s only what? Another month before your internship is over?”

 

“Yeah, not too much longer now.” He huffed. “Call me selfish. I’d really like to get my residency at our hospital. I’ll be so busy. It’ll be hard to see him if he doesn’t work at the same place I do.”

 

“You’ll get through it.” Bella smiled at him. “That man is in love with you. Like head over heels in love.”

 

“You think?”

 

“I have eyes. He loves you. You love him. You’re going to get through this.” She tilted her head, looking at him. “You’re happy?”

 

“Very.”

**~0~**

“Edward? I saw your car. Are you here?”

 

Edward hurried back into the bedroom so he could call downstairs. “I’m up here.” He waited impatiently at the door and reached out to take Carlisle’s hand as he ascended the stairs. He pulled him out onto the verandah. “The sky finally cleared up enough, and just in time.”

 

“Just in time for what?”

 

Overexcited, Edward pushed Carlisle down in the chair a little rougher than he meant to. “Sorry. Sorry. Just, look through here. It should be centered on what I want you to see.”

 

Carlisle gave him an indulgent look before he ducked his head to glance into the astronomical camera Edward had set up on the tripod. He pulled back, blinking. “Holy hell, that’s bright.” He squinted and tried again. “What am I looking at? Assuming I’m looking at something besides stars.”

 

Edward dragged another chair over and wrapped his arm around Carlisle’s shoulders, pressing his lips to his ear. “The really bright one? That’s Jupiter.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yeah. Jupiter is visible a lot of the time. It’s almost always the brightest thing in the sky.” He snuggled closer. “Now, look along the same plane. There are four much fainter lights. You kind of see them?”

 

“Maybe.”

 

“Well, those are the Galilean moons. Io, Europa, Ganymede and Callisto.”

 

Carlisle’s eyebrows shot up. “Those are moons?”

 

“Yeah. Cool, right?”

 

Carlisle pulled back and smiled. “It’s pretty neat.”

 

“Neat.” Edward snickered and brushed his nose against Carlisle’s. “See? You gave me the moon and sky for my birthday.”

 

“Wow,” Carlisle said, his eyes roaming Edward’s face from his lips back up again. “That makes me sound like a romantic bastard.”

 

“Fucking cheesy, romantic bastard.” Edward tilted his head, catching his lips in a cheesy, romantic kiss. Carlisle ran his fingers through his hair, kissing him back with such tenderness.

 

Soft, slow kisses under the stars. Oh, man. They were turning into vanilla boyfriends. Maybe Edward would instigate a scene.

 

Carlisle’s free hand came to rest on his knee, and Edward thought maybe a vanilla moment every now and again wasn’t a bad thing.

 

Minutes later, Carlisle pulled back, his hand cupped to Edward’s cheek. “It was a surprise to come home to find you here.”

 

“Sorry for not asking first. The clouds broke, and I need to see this.”

 

“From my house?”

 

Edward kissed his chin. “Your house has a verandah. My place has a window.”

 

“Mmhmm.” Carlisle kissed him once. Twice, his thumb stroking along Edward’s cheekbone. He pulled back again, searching his eyes. “I liked coming home to you.”

 

Edward didn’t say anything. As much as he liked it when Carlisle touched him like this, he always felt like he had to be misreading something. What he read in Carlisle’s eyes was deep somehow. It was the kind of look that made Edward’s heart begin to race.

 

Carlisle licked his lips. “So...what would you say to making it an everyday occurrence?”

 

“Wow.” Edward blinked, somewhat dumbfounded. “I mean, that’s what I was hoping you were going to say.”

 

“But?”

 

“But nothing.” Edward folded his hands around Carlisle’s neck, grinning as wide as the moon. “You really want me? No breaks? You know better than anybody that I’m a pain in the ass.”

 

“Ah, the way I remember it, I’m the pain in your ass.”

 

“In it. On it. On various other erogenous zones and sensitive regions.” Edward shrugged and laughed. He stood up and pulled Carlisle to his feet with him. “You didn’t answer my question.”

 

“What? Do I really want you here? Always?” He leaned in, stealing a kiss. “It’s an absurd question. I love you, and I want you.” He wrapped his arms around Edward’s waist, pulling him in tight. “Your residency isn’t going to leave you a lot of time and I, selfish bastard that I am, want most of that time.”

 

Edward slipped his hands into Carlisle’s back pockets, cupping his ass. “And they say I’m a glutton for punishment.”

 

His boyfriend snorted. “Is that a yes?”

 

“Yes.” Edward kissed him on his chin. “Yes.” His cheek. “Yes.” His lips.

 

Carlisle let out a shaky laugh between kisses and moved his hands to a possessive position along Edward’s back. He walked backward, pulling Edward with him into the house.

 

Later, when they were both sticky and sated, laying half-asleep on their sides looking at each other, Edward reached out a tentative hand to trace Carlisle’s features. “I have a question.”

 

Carlisle grunted, blinking sleepily. “We could try a dog, but a cat would probably work better with our busy lives right now.”

 

Edward snickered. “Not that.” He ran the pad of his thumb along Carlisle’s jawline, tracing the light stubble there, and swallowed hard, trying to pretend he wasn’t nervous. “It’s just...you’ve lived on your own half your life. Why me? Why now?”

 

His lover’s answering smile was gentle and adoring. He raised a hand, caressing Edward’s cheek and running his fingers down his face. “Oh, baby. The answer to both those questions is because it’s you.”

 

He cupped Edward’s cheek and kissed the tip of his nose. “I love you,” he said, and Edward curled closer into his warmth.

 

“I love you too.”

**~0~**

Edward had his foot up on the bench, and he was bent over tying his shoe when Emmett came into the locker room.

 

“Hey, dude,” he said, greeting him with a friendly, enthusiastic back pat.

 

Edward hissed, straightening up automatically and backing away a few steps.

 

Emmett chuckled, his head already in the locker where he stored his clothes. “Got them back hickies again, huh? Same kinky guy or is this just a thing you’re into? You get all your lovers to nibble on your back.”

 

When Edward didn’t answer right away, Emmett glanced at him. “Hey, no judgment, man. However you get your rocks off, after being in this place as long as we’re here, is fine by me. I was just teasing.”

 

“I know,” Edward said, putting his foot back up on the bench to tie his other shoe.

 

“So tell me the truth,” Emmett said.

 

Edward froze.

 

The truth, of course, was not that he had a hickey on his back. The night before had found him shackled to the wall, his arms spread and his back bared and the martinet coming down again and again. His orgasm had echoed through the house, but his back was a mess of criss-crossed welts he wouldn’t be able to explain to Emmett.

 

“You have a boyfriend?” Emmett asked.

 

Edward let out a breath and laughed, mostly at himself.

 

“I know, I know. None of my business,” Emmett said. “Just, ya know, we used to hang out every now and then. Grab a beer, and you never have time for that anymore.” He put on a dramatic look and sighed. “You never have time for me.” He let his voice crack a bit and poked his lower lip out.

 

The man would make a hell of a brat, Edward thought, remembering the brief fantasies he’d entertained about Emmett with Dr. Whitlock.

 

Edward threw a clean towel at Emmett to wipe the stupid pout of his face and debated with himself. He and Carlisle were being careful. It was the last few weeks of his internship. He hadn’t secured a residency yet, and even if Emmett was safe, the publicness of the locker room wasn’t.

 

But....

 

“Yeah, sorry. I know I’ve been a crappy friend, but you’re right. I’ve been seeing someone.”

 

“I knew it.” Emmett closed his locker, his clothes in his hands, and started to change. “You can juggle this job and maybe one other thing, but not three. Although, there’s such a thing as combining. The four of us could hit the bar. You, me, my Rosie and your man. How’s he at pool?”

 

“Not yet, Em.” Edward put on his most lascivious grin. “I’m not in the mood to share him yet, you know?”

 

“Hah. Kinky back hickies,” Emmett chortled. “I guess I can’t blame you if you don’t want to move out of the bedroom yet.”

 

Edward had to smirk because it wasn’t really that inaccurate of an assessment. Despite the fact they were much more to each other than what went on in Carlisle’s--soon their--bedroom, they hadn’t been able to show it yet. Just in case.

 

Soon, though. Soon they would be out and proud.

 

“Though, between you and me, man, it seems to pay to be gay and single in this community,” Emmett said, some of his words muffled as he pulled on his shirt.

 

Edward leaned against the lockers. “What do you mean?”

 

“Well.” Emmett sat down on the bench, pulling on his socks and shoes as he spoke. “We had an equipment malfunction and couldn’t get the other hospitals to help us out. That is until Dr. Cullen got on the phone and started sweet talking some doctor um...Daniels? Ramon?”

 

“Damon?” Edward asked, his eyebrows shooting up.

 

Emmett snapped and pointed at him. “Yeah, that’s it. Anyway, so I happened to overhear him because I was headed for Dr. Whitlock’s office.” He whistled. “Who would have thought Dr. Cullen was such a smooth mother trucker, huh?”

 

“Yeah,” Edward opened his locker even though he didn’t need anything. “That’s a weird thought.”

 

“Anyway, so a little shameless flirting later, we had what we needed, and I’m sure Dr. Cullen had himself a hot date.” Emmett waggled his eyebrows. “Though to be fair, Dr. Whitlock said they have a history.”

 

“Oh, yeah?” Edward said, trying not to let on that he felt ill. It was ridiculous. None of this should be bothering him, and obviously he knew Carlisle wasn’t going to go on any date with Garrett.

 

“Yeah,” Emmett continued, oblivious to Edward’s discomfort. “You know the annual conference in Vegas? The one we won’t be invited to for a few more years?”

 

“Course.”

 

“Dr. Whitlock says they tend to gravitate toward each other. He said he wouldn’t have thought Dr. Cullen had a wild side, but this Dr. Damon can get him to loosen up. Though he wouldn’t tell me what the hell that meant. What happens in Vegas and all.” Emmett shrugged. “Maybe it’s better not to know. But come on. Mild mannered Dr. Cullen cutting it loose? I’d pay to see what that looks like.”

 

Under normal circumstances, Edward would have been doing his best to hide a knowing cackle. He knew damn well what mild mannered Dr. Cullen was capable of, but by now, it didn’t seem funny. Garrett and Carlisle had a shared history, and that hadn’t ever bothered Edward. He knew the intimate ways they’d had each other.

 

But this was more like the gala, and Edward hadn’t forgotten that Garrett once wanted Carlisle, wanted everything.

  
Wanted everything Edward had, he tried to remind himself.

 

But he’d never had Carlisle in front of everyone--out and proud.

 

Edward forced himself to swallow the thick lump of outrageous and irrational jealousy that had risen to his throat and shake it off. He was being an idiot and getting overly emotional for no damn reason whatsoever. They were just being careful with his career. That was all.

 

“Anyway. Catch you later, man,” Emmett said, again smacking him on the back.

  
Edward winced and shook his head, watching his friend walk away as he tried to shake the story off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: *whistles innocently*


	21. Insecurities

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello, lovelies!

“Holy Christ. Edward, what the hell is this?”

Edward looked over from where he’d been sorting clothes to see which box Carlisle had. He snorted. “Sweetheart, don’t play innocent with me. I know better. I know you know what those are.”

Carlisle fixed him with a look as he began rummaging through the box. “This is quite a collection.”

“As though you don’t have an extensive collection.”

“No one needs this many dildos, Edward.”

“What can I say? I’m very thorough and meticulous. Even with my toys.”

Carlisle held one out. “This one has a clit massager. Baby boy, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you have no clit.” He held up another one. “And as for G-spots…”

“Don’t try to limit my kink. I can have a clit if I want to.”

“Whatever you say.” Carlisle continued to rummage. “Okay, I truly don’t know what this is.”

Edward rubbed the back of his neck, a little sheepish. “I think it’s called the Booty Glove, though that name is really misleading.”

It was a blue glove, the fingers of which were covered in soft nubs while the palm and thumb were ribbed. Between the thumb and forefinger was a mouth, lips included. Carlisle stuck two of his fingers through it, miming its purpose. He huffed.

“Does it really surprise you that I like to experiment?” Edward asked.

“Of course not, but I didn’t peg you for a hoarder.” He pulled out a double-sided dildo and looked at it, blinking in mild shock. He looked to Edward. “Have you used this?”

“No.”

Carlisle looked at the thing, and Edward could practically see the wheels turning in his head. “Hmm,” was all he said, and he tossed it in the direction of his own chest of toys.

"Now this has some practical use," Carlisle said a moment later. Edward looked up to see him brandishing a wand of vibrating anal beads. "This looks like a very fun toy, love."

Edward was getting well and truly distracted now. His cheeks were flushed and not just from the exertion of moving. "Uh... well, the vibration isn't as strong as it could be, but yeah. It's fun."

"Mmhmm." Carlisle tossed the wand, too, at his chest. Then he crawled forward on his hands and knees, the look on his face predatory.

"What are you-- Ack!" Edward flailed as Carlisle gripped him by the ankle and pulled him forward. His boyfriend climbed over him, pressing him down to the floor on his back, pinning both his hands up above his head by his wrists. "Carlisle, I'm sweaty and disgusting."

Carlisle ducked his head, skimming his nose along Edward's neck. "I'm a very observant person, and you're a doctor." He licked and nipped at Edward's skin, making him gasp and squirm. "You know how pheromones work. You smell like a man. And I’m attracted to men. Really, I can’t help myself.”

Edward whimpered and pressed up into Carlisle, grinding their hips together. “We’re never going to get this done.”

“So you live out of boxes for a week.” He transferred his hold on Edward’s wrists to one hand, letting the other drift down between them to unbutton Edward’s jeans. “I want to christen our bedroom.”

“We’ve christened this bedroom at least every other week.”

Carlisle kissed his way back to up to his lips, kissed him soundly and smiled. “Not as our bedroom.”

When he finally released his hands, Edward wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, lifting his hips to help him get his jeans off. “You raise an excellent point,” he said, rutting that point into Carlisle’s hips.

“So I see.”

Coherent speech was lost to them after that. There was the tug of clothing being shoved down, off, or otherwise out of the way. Their language was all gasps, sighs, moans, and the wet smack of their kisses as they moved with each other. They made love, marking the beginning of their new life together.

**~0~**

They spent the afternoon mostly naked. They managed to feed themselves. Showered. Got dirty all over again, and fell asleep tangled up together.

Edward woke up in the early hours of the morning. For a while, he was content to watch Carlisle sleep, loving the idea he could wake up just like this every day. The idea made him happy.

The idea made him horny.

He rolled over, on top of Carlisle, and began peppering his face with kisses. His boyfriend groaned, turning his head, but Edward was persistent. He licked and nipped at his chin. “Wake up.”

“No.” Carlisle pushed at him, but it was a feeble gesture at best. He was blinking, mostly still asleep.

“Wake up,” Edward said again. He sucked gently at Carlisle’s neck.

“Why?” Carlisle grumbled, but his eyes were more focused now.

Edward grinned. He ran his thumb over Carlisle’s lips. “Because your eyes are pretty, and I want to look at them.”

Carlisle’s answering smile was gentle. He brought his hands up, and ran his fingers along Edward’s spine. They kissed once, a languid caress of mouth and tongues, just soaking up each other’s company.

But after a few minutes, there was something serious in Carlisle’s eyes, something just a slight bit troubled. “Any regrets yet?”

Edward’s lips couldn’t decide whether to frown or smile. He settled on a disbelieving laugh. “Do I look like someone with regrets?” He shook his head and kissed Carlisle again sweetly. “That’s also like the fifth time you’ve asked me something like that. Do you have regrets?”

“Not a single one.” His fingers traced patterns along Edward’s back and shoulder blades. “I’m nervous.”

“What the hell do you have to be nervous about?”

“It’s just simple inexperience. I’m afraid of losing this by making a rookie mistake.”

Edward rolled his eyes, laying down with his head on Carlisle’s chest, just cuddling. “You should have more faith in me. I have faith in you. Maybe we will do something stupid, but we’ll work it out. That’s what grown-ups do.”

Carlisle scratched along his scalp. “Just promise me something.”

“What?”

“If anything starts to go wrong, if anything bothers you… tell me. And I’ll make you the same promise. Even if it feels stupid and small. It’s the stupid and small things that get people in trouble, I think.”

“Okay,” Edward said. He tilted his head up to press a kiss to the underside of Carlisle’s chin. “I promise.”

**~0~**

Edward’s parents weren’t being outright confrontational about the fact he’d moved in with Carlisle, but it wasn’t difficult to read between the lines. Whenever he spoke with either of them on the phone, they only made indistinct noises or acknowledgment whenever he said anything about Carlisle.

Irritated, Edward finally called his mother on it. “If I was your daughter, wouldn’t you be thrilled that my boyfriend was a successful, well-to-do doctor?”

His mother sighed. “It doesn’t have anything to do with that, Junior. If you were my daughter and your ambition in life was to keep a house and have babies, I would be thrilled for you. That man would be a good match. But if you were my daughter, you as you are with the same ambitions you have now, then I wouldn’t feel any differently.

“That man isn’t your peer, he’s your better. He’s more accomplished than you are--not that you aren’t capable of being as accomplished as he is; you simply haven’t had time to get there. He has more than you do--a home, investments, and the like. While it looks good on the surface that you’re with someone who is your better, that means that he’s with someone who’s his lesser. That’s what makes me distrust him. You look up to him. You’re in awe of him, and that gives him the upper hand.”

“Christ, Mom. Don’t you give me any credit?”

“Love is blind. There’s no shame in that. And I’ve told you before, I understand what you see in him. He’s very good-looking.”

“I’m not that shallow.”

“It’s also clear that you have every reason to admire him,” his mother said with a warning in her tone because of his interruption. “You’ve never had much patience for your own peers, but he’s twice your age.”

“Sixteen years and some months. He wasn’t even an adult when I was born.”

“No, but he was a doctor before you were ten. Junior, I know you’re a smart boy. You understand what I’m saying here. As your father said, it’s your life. You’ve got to make your own mistakes, but I don’t trust that man not to break your heart when he finds someone who makes more sense for him. An equal, not a young man just starting out in life.”

**~0~**

When Edward confessed to upper management why he didn’t want to continue on with Carlisle as his superior, they agreed it was probably a better idea for him to move on. It was a blow, but as he’d said, not a major one. He had already secured a position at the second leading hospital in the city.

It was daunting, starting over in a new place, but that was life--one set of challenges after another with twists and turns along the way. Some more interesting than others.

Edward got a job at Garrett’s hospital. The man wasn’t his direct superior, but they worked together frequently enough.

“You shouldn’t sound so surprised to find out he’s a good doctor, Edward,” Carlisle said over dinner. “He’s very well respected.”

There was that odd, cloying discomfort in the pit of Edward’s stomach again. He cleared his throat, concentrating on winding his pasta around and around his fork. “Is that how you two actually met? As doctors, I mean.”

“I was sent as part of the surgical team here to observe a surgery at his hospital.” Carlisle smiled. “Your hospital. It was the first using a new method. He was assisting.” He tilted his head, his voice far off as he remembered. “Something went very wrong, and it was Garrett who noticed first. He saw what was about to happen, and he acted. I knew he was a resident, as I was at the time. I wouldn’t have been gutsy enough to make the call he did, and he saved the man’s life.

“I don’t know why, but when everything was over and he left the operating bay, I followed him. I think I wanted to pick his brain, or that was the excuse I gave myself, but I found him in the stairwell losing his shit, to borrow a phrase. I was there for him when he broke down, and after that, of course we were friends.” He smirked. “It was only later we discovered our mutual proclivities. So yes, that’s the long answer to your question. He had my admiration as a doctor well before I had him in my bed.”

“Interesting,” Edward said, and he did his best to smile. There wasn’t anything not to smile about, after all.

But his mother’s words echoed in the back of his head, uncomfortable and aching. Carlisle had known Garrett since they were both his age, but they hadn’t entered a relationship until just a few years ago. They were peers--both accomplished surgeons well respected in their field. They were equals.

“Edward?”

Edward looked up, realizing he’d spaced out. “What?”

“Sorry. I was just thinking that must have been a surprise.”

Carlisle scoffed. “But a good one.” He eyed Edward. “Were you surprised when you found out about me?”

At that, Edward couldn’t help his grin. “Horny, I think, is a better word. Out of my mind horny.” He shrugged. “I don’t know about surprised. It’s always the mild-mannered sweethearts that are the kinkiest motherfuckers.”

“Mild-mannered sweetheart.” Carlisle quirked an eyebrow. “Is that how you see me?”

“I was teasing. You may be mild-mannered in front of your patients, but that’s about it. You’re too passionate to be considered mild.” He pointed his fork at the other man. “But you are a sweetheart. You’re just going to have to deal with that.”

Carlisle reached across the table and drew his fingertips down Edward’s face in a tender, intimate gesture. “I think I can deal with that.”

**~0~**

Edward was on his way out the door for lunch, his phone to his ear talking to Carlisle, when someone slung an arm around his shoulders and yanked the phone away. “Hey, what--”

Garrett Damon grinned at him, that charming smile that had attracted Edward the night they met. He put Edward’s phone to his ear. “Hey, Dr. Sexy. You wouldn’t get too jealous if I took your boyfriend out to lunch, would you?” He listened a moment and then chuckled, his grin widening. “Oh, daddy. I promise I’ll be on my best behavior.”

Edward’s jaw went tense. It occurred to him that Garrett, with his arm draped over his shoulders, was steering him in the direction of his car. Apparently, he and Carlisle had similar taste in cars. They had the same model Mercedes, but Garrett’s was loud red to Carlisle’s sedate black.

“Okay. Ta.” Garrett disconnected the phone call, finally letting go of Edward to open the passenger door of his car. “Get in, sweet, sexy thing. Lunch is on me.”

Though Edward was annoyed, he had to smile at Garrett’s cocksure grin. “Thanks, Dr. Damon.”

Garrett snorted, but he closed Edward’s door before walking around to his own. “What, are we going to pretend I haven’t been balls deep inside you? Don’t Dr. Damon me when we’re on our own time.”

Edward’s cheek twitched. “Fair enough.”

Garrett took them to a deli and then sat at a quiet booth in the corner. They talked shop first. Garrett gave him a rundown of the who’s who of the hospital--who to impress, who to ignore, who to never argue with under any circumstances. He then complemented Edward’s technique and dexterity.

“I can see why Carlisle was so impressed with you.” Garrett’s grin turned wicked. “Well, one of the reasons at least.”

And there it is. Edward raised an eyebrow, chewing a bite of sandwich slowly.

“He’s at that annoying stage where he babbles only about you.”

Edward tilted his head. “When?”

“When we had lunch a couple of weeks ago.” Garrett stared back as Edward stared at him. “Oh. Ohhh. He didn’t tell you, did he?” He coughed into his hand. “It was an impromptu lunch. I was in the area for an appointment and decided to see if he was available. I know he tried to call you, but you were in surgery that day.”

More than a little irritated with himself, Edward made an effort to unknit his brows. “It’s not a big deal. Two weeks ago, I was on shift for nearly thirty-eight hours straight. I was delirious by the time I got home.”

“Residency. I’m convinced it’s designed to weed out the weak doctors by actually killing them.” Garrett shook his head.

“Exactly. So it was probably ancient history by the time I was coherent again. Insignificant.”

If he heard the not-quite-accidental slight, Garrett didn’t let on. “Exactly. Good. Sorry. I have to be honest, I’m not sure of the tact in this kind of a situation.” He laughed. “You know, the fact we’ve all had each other… that didn’t matter as part of the scene. Well--” He reached out and tapped on Edward’s wristband. “I’m not going to pretend I wasn’t a little jealous when I saw this on you, but that wasn’t a big deal. Now, the whole boyfriends scenario--I’m a little curious about that. Can we still be friends? If we’re friends, can I crack jokes, or is that not allowed? It’s all so high school.”

“High school.” Edward repeated, and then he shrugged. “I’m not the sensitive type, Garrett.”

“Hey, you never can tell. Anyway, I’m not trying to start shit between the two of you. I respect him too much for that, and I always liked you, kid.” He leaned across the table. “In fact, you know, if you and Daddy dearest are ever looking for something particularly kinky--”

“I don’t share.”

Garrett laughed and leaned back in his seat. “Well, you can’t blame a guy for trying. Jesus Christ. Have you seen the both of you?” He sighed. “Ah, well.”

**~0~**

Time passed in a flurry of work, work, and mostly more work. There was some respite in between. It was good when their schedules lined up so Carlisle was home when Edward came in the door, but that didn’t always happen.

It took a while before Edward was comfortable with how much Carlisle catered to him. After all, he was a busy doctor himself. He too often came home tired. And yet he was the one who made dinner as often as he could so they didn’t have to survive off take-out and pizza. He drew Edward a hot bath more than once and his massages… Jesus Christ. Edward almost came from the pleasure those massages brought him.

One evening, Edward came home not in a good mood. He’d overheard Garrett talking about the annual conference in Las Vegas--the one where he and Carlisle had been seen having a good time together in years past--which he was not yet invited to. He wanted to ask Carlisle if they had plans to see each other, go out on the town together, but he kept telling himself not to be so stupid and juvenile. He trusted Carlisle with things so much bigger than fidelity.

Either way, he was both tense and exhausted when he got home.

“You know, you don’t always have to pamper me,” he snapped the third time he tried to help Carlisle with dinner only to be told to sit down and relax. “I’m a big boy, and I made my own dinner plenty of times. I can help.”

Carlisle looked at him without annoyance. “Hasn’t anyone ever just taken care of you?”

Edward frowned. “Why should they?”

Carlisle shook his head, his smile a little sad. “Come on. Dinner can wait a few minutes.”

Edward followed him up the stairs to their room. There, Carlisle took Edward’s shirt off and held him close. “You’re tired and I know you’re achey. You’ve been trying to pop your neck since you walked in the door.”

“You have to be as tired as I am.”

“I sincerely doubt that today. However, I understand what you’re trying to say, and that’s all the more reason you should let me take care of you now.” He led Edward to their bed and gave him a light push. Edward grunted, but he laid down on his belly, head resting on his folded arms, and Carlisle began to knead his shoulders. “This is your time, Edward. This is me supporting you as best I can. Residency is trying, and because I have a demanding job too, I’m not always here when you get home. This is what partners do for each other. Let me be your partner, baby.”

Edward sighed and relaxed. Then he scoffed.

“What?” Carlisle asked.

“Nothing. It’s just funny. We’re both figuring out how not to be alone. You’ve been alone longer than I have, but you’re better at the whole couple thing.”

“Not better.” He leaned down, pressing a kiss to Edward’s shoulder. “I just want to do it right.”

Edward reached behind him, catching the back of Carlisle’s head before he could pull away. He twisted to kiss him. “I’m trying, too.”

Carlisle nuzzled his cheek and kissed him again. “I know.”

With Carlisle’s hands on him, massaging the tension out of his shoulders and back, all the nagging doubt and discomfort Edward had about his boyfriend’s upcoming trip faded to nothingness.

No. As Carlisle tugged at his pants and his touch turned sensual, Edward forgot all about Garrett and Las Vegas and all the things his mother had said weeks ago.

**  
He and Carlisle made perfect, unshakable sense.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Do you know how difficult it is to type with a cat on your lap who specifically doesn’t want you to type? Yeah. Difficult.
> 
> Anyway. See you soon, kids.


	22. Viva Las Vegas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: To answer the question of the reviewer who doesn’t allow PM’s but had questions, the reason subs like collars is about the same reason that married people like wearing wedding rings. The relationship between a Dom and a sub is powerful and deep. The collar, like the ring, is a symbol of the trust they’ve built together. A sub wants to be claimed.
> 
> Oy. Sorry about the wait. I thought I knew how I was going to accomplish the home stretch, but turns out, I didn’t. I have a handle on it now.

“Oh god. Oh god.”

 

Carlisle would have smirked, but in all honesty, he was just as worked up as Edward was. They were testing out a new toy--a spreader bar designed to spread his legs apart and shackle his wrists to the bar at the same time. As a result, he was on his back on their bed, both completely helpless and spread open wide.

 

He took a deep breath, swallowing several times to be sure he had his voice under control. “Comfy, pet?” He drew his fingertips along the inside of Edward’s thighs.

 

“I...Yeah. Yes. Yes, sir,” he said, panting.

 

Carlisle retrieved the bottle of lube from where he’d rested it earlier. Edward whimpered when he heard the click of the cap opening. “So eager,” Carlisle said, keeping his other hand out of Edward’s view, so he couldn’t see what he was doing. He spread a generous amount of lube on a nice, thick vibrating dildo. Then, he rested the tip of it against Edward’s asshole. He circled it around, spreading the lube.

 

“Please,” Edward said, thrusting his ass toward Carlisle. “Please, Daddy. Please.”

 

Carlisle ignored his pleas, concentrating on working the dildo into his ass slowly as he spoke in a calm tone. “I’ve been considering the advantages of one of those fucking machines,” he said. “You know the ones.” He began to work the dildo in and out of Edward, keeping an even rhythm. “Can you imagine? Can you imagine being trussed up just like this while a machine fucks you?”

 

Edward groaned, his head thrown back. “And uh… oh, hell. What would… yes, ugh. What would you be doing?”

 

“Silly baby boy. Don’t you know the point of machines? They take the place of the human.”

 

“Fuck that. Oh.” He moaned as Carlisle switched the vibrator on. “Oh. Oh!”

 

Still Carlisle kept the same, maddeningly even pace. “But don’t you see the beauty of it, little one? The relentless in and out and in and out, and you helpless to stop it. How many times do you think it could make you come, hmm? How many times before you were sore? But it’s a machine. It doesn’t hear you when you want it to stop.”

 

Edward raised his hips, but Carlisle resisted the urge to fuck him faster. “Alternately, how long do you think it could keep you on edge?” he asked. “Set it to go slow, not to let that momentum build. You’ll be hard.” He ran the finger of his free hand along Edward’s stiff cock, making the boy cry out. “But there’ll be no relief for you.”

 

“Oh, hell please. Please.”

 

“Please, please you think I should buy you a fucking machine?”

 

“No!” Edward groaned and banged his head back on the bed. “Ah, fuck. Jesus Christ. Haven’t you seen enough robot movies. They become self-aware and then we’re all fucked. Literally in my case.” He groaned again. “I want you.”

 

“You want me where, pet?”

 

Edward whimpered.

 

“Tell me,” Carlisle demanded.

 

“Oh, god. What do you think I want? What do I always want?” Edward panted. His hands clasped in sporadic little movements, straining against the ties. “I want you inside me. Fuck me. Please, Daddy, please.”

 

“You want me to fuck you like this?” He took a firm hold of the spreader bar and yanked it toward him. Edward shouted. His toes curled.

 

Carlisle took the vibrator out and pressed the head of his cock at Edward’s entrance. “Is this what you want?” He drew the tips of his fingers along the backs of Edward’s thighs and traced the outline of his balls.

 

“Please.”

 

“You’re very polite when you want my cock, aren’t you, baby?”

 

“I can be a good boy if I--ah!” Edward moaned as Carlisle pushed into him. “If I try, oh yeah. If I try hard enough.”

 

Carlisle ran his hands up Edward’s chest and cupped his cheek briefly. “You’re a very, very good boy.”

~0~

The day Carlisle was supposed to leave for Vegas, he had to work. He was going straight from the hospital to the airport. He’d already said goodbye to Edward--twice the night before and once very early that morning. He was depending on the memories of the soft, sleepy sounds Edward made when Carlisle spooned up against him and rocked slowly into him to keep him from being too lonely the next two days.

 

Hey, his relationship was new and his boyfriend was amazing. He was allowed to be ridiculous.

 

Since their goodbye had been so thorough, the last thing Carlisle expected to hear that day at work was Edward’s voice. He was around the corner when he heard Emmett call, “Hey, Edward. Long time no see, kid.”

 

“Hey, Emmett.”

 

Oh, this was going to be interesting. In the flurry of activity when Edward left the hospital, neither of them had told anyone they were together. As predicted, Edward was very busy with his residency, and he’d given every moment of his spare time to Carlisle. Though, to be fair, Emmett was just as busy with his own residency.

 

Carlisle hurried to finish signing off on the charts he was examining, so he could see what Edward was up to.

 

“So what’s up, man?” Emmett was asking as Carlisle approached. “Word on the streets was you were a shoe-in for the position, but it went to Tanya instead. Don’t get me wrong. Tanya’s a great doctor, but your numbers were better. Plus, I can’t imagine Dr. Cullen gave you a bad review.”

 

Edward’s lip twitched. He caught sight of Carlisle over Emmett’s shoulder and his grin spread wide. “No, he definitely didn’t give me a bad review. I chose the other hospital.”

 

“Why?”

 

“So I could do this.” Edward stepped around Emmett, taking Carlisle by the edges of his lab coat and pulling him forward. Carlisle made a startled noise that was drowned out as Edward pressed their lips together.

 

This was no quick kiss. Oh, no. His brat wanted to put on a show. Well, so be it.

 

Carlisle grasped Edward at his hips, spun him, and pressed him up against the wall. They grinned into each other’s mouths at Emmett’s startled cries of, “Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!”

 

Only when they were both breathless did Carlisle step back. They’d drawn a small audience by then, but Carlisle didn’t see them. He was too busy looking into Edward’s eyes, cupping his cheek.

 

“Which one of them is the lucky one?” Someone asked.

 

“The lucky one gets the pretty one.”

 

There was a pause. “Okay, again. Which one is the lucky one?”

 

Chuckling, Carlisle leaned in, kissed Edward more chastely, and finally let him go. When he looked up, he saw Emmett bent at the waist, guffawing. “Oh, man. I didn’t see that coming.”

 

Carlisle turned to the rest of the gathered--a handful of smiling colleagues and one glaring man he didn’t recognize. He quirked an eyebrow. “Show’s over.”

 

The man scowled. “Your complete lack of professionalism is disgusting,” he said, and he turned on his heel.

 

Carlisle shook his head, turning back to Emmett. “He doesn’t need surgery, does he?”

 

“He’s Dr. Whitlock’s patient.”

 

“Thank goodness for small miracles.” Carlisle looked to Edward and took his hand. “What are you doing here?”

 

“Doing me a favor.”

 

Carlisle turned around at the sound of the familiar voice. He smiled. “Garrett.” He took the man’s offered hand and gave him a quick, back-slapping hug.

 

“My car is giving me problems. Edward was kind enough to give me a ride to you so I could beg for a ride to the airport.” Garrett grinned at him.

 

Carlisle scoffed. “You mean you don’t want to leave your precious Mercedes in the airport parking lot.”

 

“I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

 

“Of course, you don’t. Yes, you can ride with me.”

 

“Great. I’ve always wanted to go on a road trip with you.”

 

Carlisle couldn’t help but roll his eyes. “The airport is twenty minutes away. We took a longer road trip when we went…” Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Edward stiffen. “Well, anyway. You’re ridiculous.”

 

Garrett’s eyes flitted briefly to Edward and back to Carlisle. He grinned and shrugged. “Seriousness is overrated. Anyway. Isn’t your shift over yet? There’s not that much time to get to the airport.”

 

“I don’t know about him, but _my_ shift is over.” Emmett smacked Edward’s arm. “Have time for a drink?”

 

“Um. Yeah.” Edward sounded distracted, and Carlisle looked him over, trying to see  if something was wrong. “Sure. We can catch up, or whatever.”

 

“Go on. Have fun, and don’t stay up too late,” Garrett said, wagging a playful finger in both their faces. “I know at least one of you has a shift tomorrow.” He grinned. “And don’t worry about your boyfriend, Edward.” Carlisle was only mildly startled when Garrett threw his arm around his shoulders in a friendly, haphazard kind of way. “I’ll take good care of him.”

 

Carlisle could swear he saw Edward’s eyes narrow ever so slightly before he schooled his expression. “Right.” Nonchalantly, he took Carlisle’s hand and pulled him forward for another kiss. A deep kiss, though not quite as thorough as the first one. “Call when you get there?”

 

“Of course,” Carlisle said, squeezing his hand.

 

Edward turned to follow Emmett toward the door, and Carlisle fished in his pocket for his car keys. “Here,” he said, handing them to Garrett. “Go put your things in the trunk.”

 

Without a backward glance at Garrett, he hurried after Edward, catching up quickly. “Excuse us a second,” he said to Emmett, taking Edward’s arm and steering him down another hallway

 

“What’s wrong?” Edward asked, looking confused.

 

“You tell me. Is there something wrong?” Carlisle asked, leaning in to keep their conversation private. “If you don’t want me to ride with Garrett--”

 

“No.” Edward huffed and gave him a tight-lipped smile. “Come on. I’m the one who drove him over here.”

 

Carlisle thought about that, and wondered if he’d overreacted. But no. Something was off. He knew Edward so well, it was almost like he could feel it. “Then what is it?”

 

“It’s nothing. It’s just plain old envy, that’s all.” He touched his fingertips briefly to Carlisle’s lips. “I want to go with you.”

 

At that, Carlisle smiled, relieved. “It’s a conference, you know. There’ll be a lot more boring lectures and presentations than there will be gambling and drinking.”

 

“I know.” He shrugged, looking sheepish. “I guess I want to take a road trip with you, too.”

 

“Oh, really?” Carlisle snaked his hand around to Edward’s backside and pulled him closer. “Is that what you want? A nice long drive to some secluded B and B?” He brushed Edward’s nose with his. “We can pretend we’re there for the view, but we won’t leave the room. Would you like that?”

 

Edward smirked, wrapping his arms around Carlisle’s neck. “Who said anything about a charming B and B? I want Vegas, baby. Take me to see those hot Australian strippers.”

 

“Brat,” Carlisle accused, and he kissed Edward soundly. “We’ll figure something out soon, okay?”

 

“Okay.”

 

Carlisle sighed and kissed his boy once more before letting him go. “Have fun tonight.”

 

“You too.” Edward touched his hand. “But not too much.”

 

“Without you? That won’t be a problem.”

 

~0~

 

No sooner had Carlisle finished getting checked into his hotel--they were staying at the Monte Carlo--than Garrett appeared out of nowhere. He grabbed him by the arm, steering him toward the elevators. “I saw Steven Tyler.”

 

“Did you?”

 

“Yeah. The dude is _short_.”

 

“That’s educational.”

 

Garrett chuckled. “Come on. Let’s get your suitcase in your room, and then we can go out.”

 

Carlisle turned his head to look at his friend with a raised eyebrow. “I’m sorry. Did I make plans with you that I’ve forgotten?”

 

“Oh, come on. You wouldn’t leave me alone on the gay scene in Vegas.” He flashed a lopsided grin. “I need someone to keep me from making bad choices. What if I end up married, huh? Or worse! What if I knock up some poor lad?”

 

“You’ll manage. There are worse things than coming home with a nubile young husband.”

 

“But that’s what I mean. You need to be there to do quality control. Make sure the boys I flirt with are marriage material. Just in case.”

 

Carlisle snorted. “You have a fairly good eye, Garrett. I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

 

“I do have a good eye.” Garrett smacked his shoulder as they came to a stop in front of Carlisle’s room. “I caught you a pretty husband, didn’t I? One who takes the obey in love, honor, and obey very seriously. Come on. For that alone, you should be the one groveling at my feet.”

 

Carlisle couldn’t help but smile. He pushed the door open, stepping inside. “Are you trying to tell me I owe you for having sex with my boyfriend before I did? I have to tell you, it’s not a very convincing argument.”

 

“Hah. Well, when you put it that way…” Garrett flopped down on his bed. “Come with me anyway. I can’t go clubbing alone.”

 

“You’re a big boy. I assure you, you can.”

 

“But I don’t want to.” He stuck out his lower lip, pouting. “Come on. You can’t possibly come to Vegas and not have a little fun.”

 

“I’m fairly capable of it. Besides, I didn't’ bring anything to wear.”

 

“It’s not even seven yet. We have time to shop.”

 

Carlisle chuckled, shaking his head as he hung up his clothes. “I forgot how much of a beggar you always were.”

 

“It’s Vegas. At least take me to see the Thunder from Down Under. Or a Cirque show. Ooooh. You know they have that act with the two buff guys in next to nothing doing headstands and handstands on each other? I’d settle for that.” Garrett hung his head off the edge of the bed, looking at Carlisle upside down. “What’s with you, anyway? You never had a problem going out on the town.”

 

“Things are different now.”

 

Garrett sat up, looking amused. “Carlisle, I’m not an idiot. I work with Edward. I _like_ Edward. I know how to keep my hands to myself.” He cocked his head. “Is that what you’re worried about?”

 

When he said it out loud, it sounded foolish. Carlisle crossed his arms, hoping to keep the uncertainty out of his expression. He must not have done a good job, because Garrett chuckled.

 

“That’s it, isn’t it? Did Edward give you a curfew?”

 

“No,” Carlisle said, perhaps a little more defensively than was necessary. He knew Garrett was teasing. “I’m sure he isn’t even thinking about it.”

 

“So what’s the problem?”

 

Carlisle tapped his foot. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “I’m new at this.”

 

Garrett chuckled again. “Relationships are a trip, but I’m pretty sure it’s supposed to be okay for you to have some fun with a friend. We are friends, right?”

 

Carlisle rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Alright. You win.”

 

Some hours later, they’d found a club that suited them, and Garrett had managed to convince Carlisle to dance. It had been a long time, and it was enjoyable. So were the drinks. It really had been a long time since Carlisle had done this. Maybe since the last time he’d attended this conference.

 

He spotted a pretty man making eyes at his dance partner and did his duty as wingman by turning Garrett in the right direction. Once he and his new friend were set on their merry way, Carlisle headed back to their table. He downed all of his drink in a few thirsty gulps.

 

When he took out his phone to check the time, he cursed. There were two missed calls around ten o’clock. Both from Edward, of course. Carlisle frowned, remembering belatedly that he’d said he would call when he got settled in. He thought about calling then, but he knew Edward had an early shift. It was nearly midnight. If he wasn’t asleep, he should have been.

 

He flipped to his text messages, seeing there was one from Edward there.

 

**Have fun. I miss you.**

 

Carlisle’s heart warmed, and he rubbed his chest as though he could soothe the slight pang. He was having fun, but he’d wished more than once that Edward was here with him.

 

Just as he was about to send a text message, Garrett reappeared. “Hey, come on,” he said, leaning down to speak in Carlisle’s ear. “Hey. I want to introduce you to someone.”

 

Carlisle pulled back, narrowing his eyes at Garrett. But then he read the pleading in his friend’s eyes as he looked back and forth from the man he’d been dancing with to the guy now standing right behind him, obviously a friend. Garrett wasn’t trying to set him up, of course. He was asking Carlisle to distract the buddy so he could take the pretty boy somewhere to make out… among other things.

 

Amused--he hadn’t played this game in at least five years--Carlisle gave a quick nod. Garrett’s grin lit up. “I owe you one,” he mouthed.

 

~0~

 

A noise Carlisle wasn’t at all appreciative of jarred him out of a deep sleep. He swung his arm out blindly, groping for his phone on the night stand. “‘lo?” he mumbled.

 

“Did I wake you up?”

 

Carlisle sat bolt upright in bed and then winced. His head ached. It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t pleasant. “Shit. What time is it?”

 

“It’s seven,” Edward said.

 

“Shit,” Carlisle said again, rubbing his eyes. That wasn’t horribly late, but it was later than he wanted to be. Worst of all, it was late enough he might not have time to get coffee before he had to pretend he was interested in the opening remarks of the conference.

 

On the other end of the line, Edward laughed with incredulity. “Are you hung over?”

 

“No…” Carlisle rummaged through his bag, wondering if he’d thought to bring ibuprofen. He sighed and rubbed his eyes again. “Okay. I’m possibly very slightly hung over. Mostly I’m just tired.”

 

“I see.”

 

“Shit,” Carlisle said, his brain coming back online. “I didn’t call you last night.”

 

“It sounds like you were busy. And here I thought the rumors of your inner party animal were greatly exaggerated.”

 

Edward’s voice was even, teasing. “You’re not mad?” Carlisle asked, as always somewhat uncertain of the protocol here.

 

“Naw. I figured I would have heard on the news if the plane crashed or the casino was bombed. I’m glad you’re having a good time. It gives me hope that one day, when I’ve paid enough dues, I’ll get to go on cushy, hospital-paid vacations.”

 

“You’ll have your fill, believe me.”

 

“Oh, god,” a voice from the other side of the bed croaked. “Shut the fuck up. Some of us are trying to sleep, for fuck’s sake.”

 

“Who was that?” Edward asked, his tone sharp.

 

Carlisle grimaced. This was awkward. He got up and went to the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. “Garrett.”

 

“Garret’s in your room?”

 

“Ah… we very literally stumbled in last night. He couldn’t remember his room number, and I was tired.” Carlisle looked down at himself. “I didn’t even change into sleep clothes.”

 

“Oh.”

 

Carlisle had no idea how to read that ‘oh.’ “Edward--”

 

“No, hey. It’s fine. I can’t even remember how many times I’ve crashed in Bella’s bed when we used to hit the town in college. It happens.” He huffed. “It’s Vegas.”

 

“Are you sure everything’s okay?”

 

“Yeah. It’s like I said, I’m jealous. I’ve got a twelve hour shift to get through and an empty house to come home to tonight. I’d rather be with you.”

 

“I’d rather you be here too.” He smirked. “Though I suspect if you were, we’d both be very late to the conference.”

 

Edward snickered. “Why, Dr. Cullen. How irresponsible of you.”

 

“What can I say. You have an effect on me, little boy.”

 

Edward sighed, and his tone was lighter when he spoke again. “Okay. I’m sure you need to get ready. Try not to overdo it tonight. You’re not as young as you used to be.”

 

Carlisle snorted. “I’ll keep that in mind. I love you, Edward.”

  
“I love you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Many thanks to barburella, Nikki, MoH, Packy, and jessypt!
> 
> See you kids soon.


	23. Tick Tick Tick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So sorry for the delay in updates. I’ve known how I want to end this fic for a long time now, but actually accomplishing it has been...interesting. Lol! Anyway. It looks like I might just get to one thousand reviews! That’s amazing. I love you guys.

"And that's how it's done."

 

Garrett exited the surgical bay, throwing the doors open with a flourish and pumping his fists in the air. Edward exited behind him, his jaw clenched. It had been a tricky surgery, and a surgeon less skilled than Garrett--most of them--wouldn't have been able to save the man. It had been a close one, and normally Edward would have been riding that adrenaline rush. Instead, he began to seethe.

 

Edward wondered why the hell he'd ever been attracted to this man. He was so full of himself; it was a wonder he needed sex at all. Who knew anyone else could fit? Edward snapped his gloves off with a lot more gusto than necessary, threw it in the hazardous waste bin, and turned toward the outer door.

 

“And you.” Garrett clapped Edward on his shoulder, making him jump as they exited the room together and headed for the lockers to change. “You were brilliant today, Dr. Masen. Really.”

 

A grudging note of pride bloomed warm at the pit of Edward’s stomach. It annoyed him. “Thanks,” he said.

 

Garrett gave his back a few more whacks, still laughing gleefully. “Come on. Get changed, and I’ll treat you to lunch.”

 

“I have work to do,” Edward said. “Charts.”

 

The other man tilted his head, quirking an eyebrow. “You haven’t eaten for at least eight hours. Come on.” His grin grew wider. “We’ve been working together a while now, Edward. I know you have questions at the very least. I’ll let you grill me over something ridiculously fattening.”

 

Edward grunted. He was very hungry, and Garrett was right. He did have questions.

~0~

“Baby, if you stab that salad any harder, you’re going to break the plate.”

 

Edward looked across the table at Carlisle and took a calming breath. "Sorry."

 

His boyfriend eyed him with concern. "Tell me about your day."

 

Exhaling in a gust, Edward told Carlisle about the emergency surgery he'd taken part in and about going to lunch with Garrett. He was in the midst of a rant about how gratingly arrogant the other man was when Carlisle laughed.  Surprised and slightly annoyed, Edward narrowed his eyes at his boyfriend. "What?" he asked.

 

"I'm sorry. It's not that I think your frustration is funny. I just find it somewhat ironic that you're finding it difficult to deal with these particular traits. Edward, I love you. You know how much I love you, but arrogance is among your most prominent traits. Don't get me wrong." He reached across the table and took Edward's hand, rubbing at his tense knuckles. "You're very attractive, and you know it. You're a genius, and you have no problem showing that either. And all of that's fine. It makes you confident, and a certain amount of arrogance is a turn on for most." Carlisle quirked an eyebrow. "Or wasn't that what attracted you to Garrett in the first place?"

 

Edward's lips turned down, and he ducked his head.

 

Carlisle chuckled again and brought Edward's knuckles to his lips. He kissed them once and then let him go, still looking at him with tenderness. His expression became uncertain. "You have a great deal of respect for Garrett's abilities as a doctor, and you're learning a lot from him. But it seems like working with him has destroyed your friendship. You were friends before, weren't you? I know Garrett thinks you're friends." He pushed his salad around his plate, as though searching for the right words. "This might be my imagination, but it seems like your attitude towards him has changed since Vegas."

 

Edward opened his mouth to deny it outright then shut it again. He looked down at his plate, and thought it through.

 

Yeah, Vegas had annoyed him. It got under his skin, but he'd continuously told himself he was being ridiculous. Carlisle and Garrett had been friends much longer than Edward had known either of them. He cleared his throat and pinched the bridge of his nose.

 

"Edward, you can be honest with me. If you think--"

 

"I don't think anything about Vegas." Edward made an effort to look up and smile. "I told you. I could have used the break. You told me residency was going to kill me. I know now you weren't exaggerating." He shrugged. "You're right. I'm not being fair to Garrett. If I'd have pulled off a surgery like the one today, I'd have been strutting down the hallway, too."

 

Carlisle studied him another moment, but then he smiled again. "Oh, I've seen you swagger, baby boy. Deservedly so. You're good at what you do. You're only going to get better with time. Give it a few years, and it'll be the younger doctors calling you pompous when they're frustrated."

 

"I'm paying my dues, hmm?"

 

"A necessary evil." Carlisle took his hand and kissed his knuckles again. "Are you done eating?"

 

"I think so."

 

Carlisle stood, pulling Edward up with him. He threaded their fingers together and walked into the living room. He sat down on the couch and spread his legs wide, pulling Edward down to sit between them. Edward sighed as Carlisle took his ear in his mouth, nibbling gently as his thumbs dug into the small of his back, massaging.

 

Edward tilted his head to the side, giving Carlisle better access to his neck for nips and kisses. He sucked in a breath when Carlisle's kneading thumbs caught a bad knot low on his back. Carlisle clucked his tongue, pressing an open-mouthed kiss to his shoulder. "My poor boy. I haven't taken good enough care of you. You're so tense."

 

"It's been a long week." Edward's voice was getting breathless.

 

"It has." Carlisle pulled Edward's shirt up and off. He kissed along his shoulder blades, continuing his massage along his spine. “You come home and fall asleep on me.”

 

Edward groaned, hissing and contorting under Carlisle’s ministrations. “I know. I’m sorry. I haven’t been any fun lately.”

 

“Hmm.” The noise vibrated, sending delicious tingles down Edward’s back. “Don’t apologize. You know damn well your work is important to me.” Carlisle took him by the chin, turning his head so he could kiss him. “You were right, sweetheart. There are more important things than work. You’re more important to me than anything else has ever been.” He ran his hand along Edward’s cheek. “Do you know that?”

 

Edward could only whimper. His heart pitter-pattered in a quick rhythm, and his whole body flushed with the warmth Carlisle’s words stoked in him. He reached his hand back to thread his fingers through Carlisle’s hair.

 

As though he were intent on proving the veracity of his words, Carlisle set about driving him crazy. The man was talented. He didn’t need implements, restraints, or anything that vibrated to work Edward into a frenzy. He massaged Edward’s back and shoulders, easing the tension away while he kissed, nibbled, and licked at his skin. It was no time at all before Edward was begging for more--more touch, more sensation. And Carlisle gave, in that maddening way that was almost but not quite satisfactory. His caresses were light--titillating every inch of his skin. His hands teased, flicking a nipple or brushing over the ever-hardening bulge in Edward’s jeans.

 

When Edward was sure he was going to go out of his mind, Carlisle kissed his cheek. He stood him up and pecked his lips. “Get naked. Wait here.”

 

Edward was out of his pants almost before Carlisle had moved an inch. He waited impatiently, and groaned when his boyfriend came back, similarly naked, hard, and with a bottle of lube. He settled back on the couch, and when he pulled Edward down this time, he slid inside him. He buried his head at the sweet spot where his neck met his shoulders, holding him steady with one hand and working his cock with the other.

 

Minutes later, Edward lay back against Carlisle’s chest, spent, groggy, and more satisfied than he’d been in weeks. Carlisle pressed lazy kisses to the side of his hair. “I missed you,” he said.

 

Edward sighed, lifting a hand to cup his cheek, tracing the rough stubble there. “I love you.”

~0~

Edward was in a good mood when he walked through the hospital’s doors the next morning. It didn’t last. Almost immediately, he ran into Garrett. The man took one look at him and laughed. “Oh, I know that look.” He leaned in close so he could whisper discreetly in Edward’s ear. “I’ve never met anyone who’s better at anti-stress techniques than your man.” He clapped Edward’s shoulder.

 

“Good morning to you too, Doctor,” Edward said.

 

If Garrett noticed the sour note to his tone, he didn’t acknowledge it. He took Edward by the arm. “Come on. I have something for you in my office.”

 

Both curious and irritated, Edward followed him. Garrett sat at his desk, rummaging through charts and paperwork. “Ah. Here we go.” He pointed at Edward with an envelope. “This is for Carlisle, you understand me?”

 

Edward raised an eyebrow. “What is it?”

 

“That isn’t any of your business.” Garrett’s eyes were amused as ever--a cat toying with a mouse. He waved the envelope in front of Edward’s nose. “So can I trust you or not?”

 

Edward could tell he was supposed to be amused. He had to remind himself it wasn’t as though Garrett would be passing letters proclaiming his undying love for Carlisle through Edward. He had to know even if Edward didn’t peek, Carlisle was going to tell him what was in it.

 

“Sure,” he said, reminding himself they were supposed to be friends. “You can trust me.”

 

“Good boy.” Garrett ruffled Edward’s hair as he handed him the envelope. “Guard that with your life. Very important.”

 

“Life or death, I’m sure.”

 

Garrett grinned. “Exactly.”

~0~

Edward thought of the envelope all day. Of course he was dying to know what was in it, but that, he suspected, was the point. And under other circumstances, Edward wouldn’t have hesitated playing right into the game. Ridiculously, the fact he knew Garrett wanted him to open the envelope strengthened his resolve not to. He’d beat the man in any game he cared to play.

 

Of course, by the time Edward got home, he was almost dead of curiosity. Carlisle was amused. He purposefully angled his body away as he opened the envelope. Then he laughed. He gave Edward a piece of paper. “Apparently, Garrett was putting bets on your curiosity getting the better of you, pet.”

 

The note was a letter to his daddy saying the bearer of this note was a bad, bad boy and he recommended a long, over-the-knee spanking. Edward snorted, amused in spite of himself.

 

Carlisle waved the other item--a fancy looking card. “He’s invited us to a play party.”

 

“Oh.” Edward was instantly at odds with himself. He wasn’t at all sure he wanted to see yet another shining example of how similar Garrett and Carlisle were. He didn’t want to run into other people who knew them when they were more to each other than friends.

 

Then again, the idea of being amongst like minded people, the only people who could understand everything Carlisle was to him…

 

Oh, yes. He very much wanted that. “Do you want to go?” he asked Carlisle, throwing his legs over his lap.

 

Carlisle hummed, tapping his fingers against the underside of Edward’s leg. “Show off my beautiful brat?” He grinned. “Yes, that might make me very happy. We have to check our schedules” His hands had begun to wander. “Though, maybe later.

 

“Later sounds good to me.”

~0~

Sitting on the couch, tangled up with his boyfriend, Edward couldn’t even remember how he’d gotten there. Actually, Edward had no memory of anything before Carlisle started kissing him. What had they been doing right before? Edward didn’t know. He really didn’t care.

 

He had vague memories that there’d been some movie on. He watched, but he was distracted by the gentle thrill of Carlisle’s fingers tracing patterns in his hair, around his ear. Then his fingers had brushed over Edward’s lips, and the movie faded into the background. Edward had sat up, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend’s neck, tilting his head up to catch his slow, sweet kiss.

 

That could have been hours ago. Actually, Edward was pretty sure it had been hours. By then they were tangled up on the wide couch, pressed as close as their bodies would allow with their clothes on. Neither of them were in a hurry. They kissed with their eyes closed, breathing each other in with every other sense. Carlisle’s hand was gentle against his cheek, his thumb rubbing the spot right behind his ear.

 

When Carlisle’s phone rang his body went rigid. Edward clutched him tighter. “Don’t answer it,” he said between kisses.

 

Carlisle sighed into his mouth. “You know I have to.”

 

Edward growled, trying to kiss him again, but Carlisle had already pulled away. He sat up, grabbing for his phone on the coffee table. He smiled ruefully and ruffled Edward’s hair. “Don’t pout, baby boy. It’s not becoming,” he said as he connected the call without looking.

 

In response, Edward jutted his lower lip out even further. “Dr. Cullen,” Carlisle answered, tracing his finger along the shape of Edward’s lips.

 

Carlisle looked up, somewhat shocked. “Oh, it’s you. No, I thought you were someone important.”

 

Edward watched with curiosity as Carlisle got to his feet, pacing away with the phone to his ear. “Yes, Garrett, there are many things more important than you.”

 

At those words, Edward’s frown deepened. Oblivious to this, Carlisle stretched, still facing away. “No. You didn’t interrupt anything.”

 

Edward’s stomach twisted. He sat up, watching with an uncomfortable knot in his gut. Carlisle turned to the side, obviously smiling at whatever Garrett was saying. “Mmmhmm.”

 

He turned then, walking back to sit beside Edward on the couch, and slung an arm around his shoulder. “It appears, little boy, that we neglected to respond to Garrett’s kind request. What do you think? Do you want to go over to Garrett’s house to play next Saturday? We’re both free.”

 

Edward’s blood warmed at Carlisle’s affectionate words, especially as they were spoken with Garrett on the other end of the phone to hear. He nodded and pressed a quick kiss to Carlisle’s lips, staking his claim even though the other man wasn’t there to see.

 

“We’ll see you then,” Carlisle said into the phone. Then he disconnected the call without another word and tossed it over his shoulder. He wrapped his other arm around Edward’s waist, pulling him closer. “Now where were we?”

 

As Edward opened himself to Carlisle’s kiss again, he couldn’t help but grin in satisfaction. The few play parties he’d attended, he’d always been envious of the couples he could tell had been together for a while. They radiated satisfaction and happiness. It would be nice, as Carlisle had said, to show off a bit. They really were so well matched.

  
And if they showed off how well they worked together in front of Garrett at his house? Well, that was just a bonus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Many thanks to Barburella, songster, MoH, jessypt, and Packy 2.0 for helping me figure this one out. 
> 
> How are we feeling out there, hmm?


	24. Ka

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Oh my. Sorry about the wait, my dear ones. Let’s. Um… Hmm.

Carlisle woke up at nine o’clock on Saturday morning to find the spot beside him cold and unoccupied. He blinked, and checked the time again. Edward should have gotten home a half hour before. It wasn’t unusual, of course, for shifts to run over, but his had already been extended. Twice.

 

Rubbing his eyes, he got out of bed. While he was well aware this all came with the territory, it frustrated him to no end that the hospital was running Edward into the ground. He sighed as he pushed to his feet. There wasn’t much he could do, but he still wanted to do something. Coffee maybe.

 

Edward had complained that his hospital’s coffee just wasn’t up to snuff. If he was going to be a few more hours, he would need some kind of fuel. Carlisle could bring him good coffee, maybe something to eat. At least it would make him feel better.

 

Decided, Carlisle headed downstairs. He stopped short when he reached the foyer and saw a form on the couch in the living room. “Baby?”

 

“Hmm?” Edward hum of acknowledgment was dreamy and far away. He was sitting on the edge of the couch, elbows on his knees, kind of swaying. His eyes were open, but as Carlisle got closer, he could see the man wasn’t awake, not really. It was as though he’d walked in the door and very simply couldn’t make it further.

 

“Oh, sweetheart.” Carlisle stepped over to him, cupping his cheek and bringing his head to rest against his stomach. Edward looked up, his eyes half-hooded and glazed but somewhat dreamy as he tilted into Carlisle’s touch. He smiled in a sweet way, like a small child, and Carlisle was so very smitten.

 

“Come on. Let’s get you in bed,” Carlisle said as he got his arms firmly around and under him.

 

Edward groaned, batting at him feebly. “You can’t carry me upstairs.” His words were so slurred Carlisle would have found it funny if it wasn’t also a bit heartbreaking. “You’re gonna pull somethin’.”

 

“Are you calling me old, baby boy?”

 

At that, Edward opened bloodshot eyes and tried to focus a bit. “Mm only an inch shorter than you. I’m heavy.”

 

“You are, but I can handle it,” Carlisle said, humoring him as they started up the stairs.

 

Edward yawned and rested his head on Carlisle’s shoulder, closing his eyes. “Fine, but if you throw out your back, I’m leavin’ you on the floor.”

 

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

 

He laid Edward on the bed and didn’t bother getting further than taking his shoes off. The man was so beyond exhausted, anything else didn’t matter now. Carlisle climbed into the bed and put an arm around Edward’s waist. He traced easy circles around his belly button and pressed tender kisses to his hair. It took nothing at all to coax him into a deep sleep.

 

Carlisle treasured quiet moments like these. When his thoughts could wander and he could think thoughts that might have been embarrassing to say out loud. It was an incredible thing to think about how many people came in contact with Edward--his patients, the people he passed on the street--and just never knew what an incredible person they were near. They would never know the depths of him, the most secret parts of his soul, the beauty of all that he was.

 

Edward sighed in his sleep, and Carlisle kissed the tip of his nose, allowing himself to bask for a few minutes longer.

~0~

“Baby.” Carlisle pressed tiny kisses along the bridge of Edward’s nose, tracing a trail down to his mouth. “I need you to wake up just enough to answer a question.”

 

“Mmm.” Edward didn’t open his eyes, but his lips began to respond as he kissed back, the press barely there.

 

“I need to know if we’re still going to this party. It’s okay if we aren’t. I just need to know.”

 

“Whazit?” Edward dragged his eyes open. “What time is it?”

 

“It’s four. We have to get ready now if we’re going.” He ran his fingers through Edward’s hair. “But if you’re not up to it, that’s fine. We can stay and sleep.”

 

With a groan, Edward made an effort to get upright. He pressed his palms into his eyes and rubbed. “I’m going. You’ve been looking forward to this.”

 

“It’s just a party.” Carlisle sat down beside him. He rubbed his back and rested his chin on his shoulder. “Residency looks very different from here. Heinous and soul crushing. It’s difficult to watch.”

 

Edward turned his head to look at Carlisle, his expression unreadable. “Feels like I have a long way to go to be on your level, hmm?”

 

“Well.” Carlisle traced the line of jaw with a finger. “The time goes by like nothing, sweetheart. You’re getting through the worst of it. Then, we’ll be peers. You’ll be the younger, smarter, much more handsome one.”

 

Edward scoffed, but he leaned into Carlisle’s kiss. They stayed like that a few minutes more, kissing lazily, until Carlisle pulled back. “So? The party? I really don’t mind if you want to stay in.”

 

“I’ll get up. I wanted to go too.”

 

"Are you sure?"

 

"Mmmhmm." Edward bumped his forehead lightly against his. “They tell me guys my age have limitless energy. Work all day and party all night, every night.” He got up and stretched, arching his arms toward the ceiling. “Binge drinking and all that good jazz.”

 

Carlisle took a minute to let his eyes wander up Edward’s torso. At some point, he’d awoken enough to take off his shirt and so his chest was bare. Carlisle shivered, wanting nothing more than to drag him back into bed so he could see if he could nip and taste every inch of his skin.

 

Instead, he got to his feet and took Edward’s hand. “Come here. If we’re going, I have something for you.”

 

“Oooh. Presents.”

 

Neither of them liked fetishwear, so there’d be no leather, no assless chaps, or anything like that. While they’d both enjoyed the novelty of Edward wearing pretty pink panties, they weren’t into feminization either. Still, Carlisle knew Edward was more than willing to dress to please him. He would wear whatever he was told.

 

To that end, Carlisle had bought him a new outfit. It was simple--nothing he couldn’t have put together himself. Still, it was exactly how Carlisle wanted to see him--black jeans that showed off the perfect curve of his ass, a sleek sleeveless shirt that hugged his chest and showed off his arms.

 

Edward clucked his tongue and waggled his eyebrows. “I’m going to look hot tonight.” He kissed Carlisle sweetly, a lingering but soft kiss. “Thank you, Daddy.”

 

“It is, as always, my genuine pleasure.”

~0~

Despite his exhaustion, Edward was feeling a little better by the time they got to Garrett’s house. He liked play parties where he could be around like-minded people who understood exactly why he needed the things he needed. Play parties were usually very well self-policed, and despite the sexually charged atmosphere, everyone was respectful of other’s boundaries.

 

How ironic that one was less likely to be touched without explicit permission at a BDSM party than any other kind of party. But then, that was what Edward liked about the community--they operated on mutual respect.

 

“Come along, pet,” Carlisle said, taking him by the hand as they went up the stairs.

 

Before they could get to the door, it came open, and Garrett was there, grinning widely as he looked at Carlisle. He took the man by the arm and hauled both him and Edward through the door.

 

Carlisle let go of Edward as Garrett hugged him, and they patted at each other’s backs in greeting. Garrett lingered, saying something in Carlisle’s ear that Edward didn’t catch because he was taken slightly aback in annoyance. He didn’t like the way Garrett’s hand looked splayed against the small of Carlisle’s back.

 

Finally, Garrett stepped back and looked at Edward. “My, my. You look very pretty tonight,” he said with a wicked glint in his eyes. He ruffled Edward’s hair before he turned to usher them further into the house.

 

Edward’s irritation increased several-fold. No one at a play party was to be touched without permission but that went double for someone else’s sub. It was bad form for the host of the party to flout those rules--it set a bad and irresponsible precedent.

 

Taking a deep breath, Edward told himself it wasn’t a big deal. He blew out the breath and vowed to let it go.

 

As he and Carlisle got out of the shower just an hour before and he’d knelt at his Dom’s feet so he could towel dry his hair, Edward had begun to slip into subspace--that glorious mindset where he could begin to put aside all his frustrations and give in to the beautiful simplicity of being cared for. Though his fingers twitched at his side, Edward didn’t reach for Carlisle as he wanted to. If his Dom wanted to take him by the hand, he would. He fell into step behind Carlisle and Garrett, following quietly and looking around.

 

Garrett had a big house, decked out for an event that was already in full swing. Each room was set up with various equipment to be enjoyed or simply examined. Edward heard him remark to Carlisle the bedrooms upstairs could be used for private play, and he’d hung a sign beside each of them to indicate if it was occupied.

 

The living room had been cleared out, though the sides were lined with couches and chairs. The center of the room had some equipment. Demonstrations, Edward realized. Garrett had likely hired professionals to give demonstrations on technique or unique play.

 

Edward almost laughed as he saw at the head of the room a scene straight from a medieval castle. Garrett’s chair--because it could be no one other than Garrett’s chair--was a legitimate throne. There were more normal chairs on either side, but his chair was as grand as any king’s.

 

“Care to take the seat of honor?” Garrett asked Carlisle, gesturing at a very comfortable, if more normal, seat at his right hand side.

 

Carlisle chuckled. “That depends. I watch Game of Thrones. I know what happens to the hand of the king.”

 

Garrett cocked an eyebrow. “You could sit to my left as my queen.”

 

At that, Carlisle finally reached back to pull Edward beside him. He caressed the side of his hair. “I think I’ll stay king of my own kingdom, thank you.”

 

“Oooh. If I’m a queen, will you get me a tiara? I’ve always wanted a tiara,” Edward said, tilting his head up.

 

Carlisle pressed a kiss to his lips. “Yes, baby. I’ll get you a very pretty tiara. Lots of expensive gemstones to bring out the green in your eyes.”

 

“Jesus Christ,” Garrett said, rolling his eyes in mock disgust. “Sit down before you make me throw up.”

 

With a smirk, Carlisle sat down in the chair to the right of the throne, bringing Edward down onto his lap with him. “Don’t you have to mingle with your guests? Be polite.”

 

Garrett turned to Edward and shook his head. “You’d think he was my daddy.”

 

Edward tried not to make a face as Garrett trotted off. The comment irritated him, but it faded quickly as Carlisle nipped at his neck, calling his attention to a man in a full body suit. “I would think those would get too uncomfortable to ever be called pleasurable,” he said near Edward’s ear.

 

Before he could respond, Garrett returned with refreshments for both Carlisle and Edward. He disappeared quickly but came back with a plate of food. Edward’s cheek twitched in annoyance.

 

“Thank you, Garrett,” Carlisle said. He turned to Edward. “Wasn’t that nice of him?”

 

Edward smiled sweetly. “Thank you,” he said, slipping off Carlisle’s lap to sit on one of the cushion’s provided at his feet. He rested his head against his knee. Garrett ruffled his hair again and went to attend to his other guests.

 

Some minutes later, another sub was brought, on hands and knees, over to where Carlisle and Edward sat. She was tethered to her master by a leash and collar. Her master tied her leash to a chair as he greeted Carlisle and beckoned his attention elsewhere.

 

“Are you okay for the moment?” Carlisle asked Edward, cupping his cheek tenderly.

 

Edward smiled and nodded, knowing Carlisle wouldn’t ask if he didn’t want a moment alone with this other Dom for whatever reason he had. He watched, his smile falling as he saw Garrett open an arm to accept Carlisle into a small circle, hand again on the small of his back.

 

“Can I ask you a question?”

 

Edward turned his head and raised an eyebrow to the sub kneeling at the seat beside him.

 

She smiled in a somewhat wicked way, her eyes flicking to Garrett and Carlisle and back to Edward. “Is there something going on between you, your master, and our host?”

 

His lip twitched. “Carlisle isn’t my master. Well.” He waved a hand. “He doesn’t like that term. Sir or Daddy, and no, we’re not with him.”

 

“Oh.” She furrowed her brow and looked down at his wrist. She reached out, hesitating before she touched the crest of his cuff. “This crest. Your Sir has a ring of it.”

 

At that, Edward broke into a grin. “Yes.”

 

“That’s terribly romantic.” She pulled back. “It’s just that when I used the restroom earlier, I saw Garrett’s jewelry case on the counter. He had a cuff like this. With this crest.”

 

Edward’s heart twisted and fell into the pit of his stomach. “Oh?” he said, feeling vaguely ill. “Out?”

 

“Yeah. And then when he was the one serving your Dom instead of you…” She shrugged.

 

He hummed, schooling his expression into a mask of nonchalance, and changed the subject. Despite his best efforts, he couldn’t seem to stop himself from glancing in the direction he’d last seen Carlisle, but the small group had long since disappeared.

 

They came back, of course. It was only ten or fifteen minutes before they all reappeared . Carlisle and Garrett strolled back, heads turned toward each other in conversation. As they got closer, they laughed, and Garrett clapped Carlisle familiarly on the shoulder.

 

When they sat down, Carlisle’s attention snapped instantly to Edward. He cupped his chin, tilting his head up. His kiss tasted heavily of whiskey, and Edward lapped the taste from his tongue. It was a possessive kind of kiss, and Edward very much wanted to be possessed.

 

Their kiss broke as the professional called the first demonstration to order. Edward’s attention was pulled in. He rested his head against Carlisle’s knee, the tension beginning to drain out of him as his Dom ran his fingers through his hair.

 

The demonstration was on bondage, specifically ropework. Edward found himself intrigued by how quickly the man could make complex knots. As he spoke, he reiterated over and over the most important tenets of the BDSM community. Safe. Sane. Consensual. Bondage could easily be dangerous or even fatal if not done right. And, as always, when tying someone up, making them progressively more helpless, it was always important to remember nothing happened without all parties’ explicit desire and permission.

 

At some point, maybe half an hour or so into the proceedings, Edward tilted his head back to make a comment to Carlisle. Whatever he was about to say was forgotten as he realized his Dom wasn’t paying attention to anything or anyone but Garrett. His head was tilted back and Garrett’s tilted forward so Carlisle could whisper in his ear. An uncomfortable feeling roiled in the pit of Edward’s gut as he watched them, watched Carlisle smile in response to something Garrett said. His hands curled into fists, and he dug his fingernails into the flesh of his palms. He stared as though willing one of them to realize they were being watched.

 

They didn’t. Their conversation was consuming--low enough that, even from where he sat, Edward couldn’t hear anything but a discreet murmur. He saw Garrett laugh and his hand squeezed Carlisle’s knee--the one that Edward wasn’t leaning against. It was a brief touch, an offhand touch, but it set fire to the acid already churning in his stomach.

 

He jerked, startled when the gathered party-goers started to applaud. The first demonstration was over.

 

“My very favorite dominatrix will be on in twenty minutes,” Garrett said, speaking loud enough now that everyone gathered around could hear. His lip twitched. “To give a practical demonstration on the art of the strap-on."

 

Carlisle grunted. “I think I’m going to need another drink to go with that.” He gave Edward’s ear a light tug, looking down at him. “Baby, would you get us something like Garrett here?” He patted Garrett’s cheek. “Sweet and alcoholic?”

 

Edward nodded and got to his feet. The very last thing he wanted to do was leave Carlisle and Garrett alone--well, as alone as two people could be surrounded by other people in various states of dress--but at the same time, he was eager for the chance to serve. His headspace was confusing and irritating at best, maddening and infuriating at worst.

 

Whatever he had been expecting this evening to be, it wasn’t this. He’d wanted to show the world, their world, everything that they were together, but how was that possible? What he had with Carlisle was so singular, so very intimate that to share it with the world was to lose some facet of what it was, if only for the evening. It was throwing Edward off to have to share this side of Carlisle, of himself, with all these people.

 

Especially Garrett.

 

Edward stood at the bar, waiting for their drinks and watching Carlisle and Garrett from across the room. While they seemed to be in a three way conversation now involving the master of the sub Edward had been talking to earlier, they turned to each other more often than not, sharing smiles that were making Edward progressively more and more furious.

 

He forced himself to look away and rubbed at his eyes. He was so fucking tired, and that was what had to be messing with his head. It was that and the fact this was a new experience for him--belonging to someone at a play party; being in scene, even in this small way, in public. It was messing with him that he wasn’t more aroused at that. Instead, there was this cloying feeling deep in the pit of his stomach, as though he were desperate to please Carlisle in any way possible and furious that he didn’t have a hundred percent of his attention all at once. And why the hell was Garrett touching Carlisle’s knee again?

 

When Carlisle was gone, Edward had scanned the room, eager for him to return. His Dom, his Daddy, his boyfriend didn’t even look up from his conversation. Not in the ten full minutes it took for the drinks to be made.

 

By that time, Edward was a wreck. He couldn’t tell if he was more pissed off or heartbroken. He kept hearing his mother’s voice in his head. Edward and Carlisle could talk for hours, enraptured in each other’s conversation and could similarly stay for hours tangled up in each other’s arms. Garrett was not only compatible intellectually and sexually; he was Carlisle’s peer, and that was a better fit, wasn’t it?

 

Of course it was. Wasn’t he seeing it right before his eyes? Didn’t he see Carlisle looking back at Garrett with fondness?

 

Edward gripped both glasses, gritting his teeth against the swell of emotion that threatened to choke him. He started walking back and breathed through his nose to try to calm down. He felt a splash of liquid and realized his hands were shaking. He breathed in through his nose again, willing himself to find some semblance of calm. His thoughts were loud, and none of them made sense.

 

When he got in hearing range, Carlisle and Garrett were once again sitting with their bodies angled toward each other, their heads bent close in conversation. The other man had wandered off with his pet and was across the room, so it was only Carlisle and Garrett talking.

 

“My bedroom is off limits, so I know no one was in there,” Garrett said, oblivious to Edward standing so close. “I was hoping--”

 

He was interrupted by the sound of glass shattering and sticky liquor exploding at his feet. Both he and Carlisle jumped up, startled, and stared at Edward who was glaring back at them.

 

Edward’s hands were clenched in fists at his side, but he didn’t move at first. “If you wanted me out of the way, all you had to do was tell me,” he said through clenched teeth.

 

It was a surreal moment. Obviously, he knew he was the one who’d spoken, but he heard the words as though they were very far away. It wasn’t what he wanted to say, and as he said it, his heart lurched.

 

Confusion flickered across Carlisle’s face, followed by incredulity. “What are you--”

 

But Edward couldn’t stand still anymore. His head was spinning, and he had to get out of there. He bolted, but Carlisle pursued. He grabbed him by the arm, pulling him to face him. “Stop. Stop and tell me what’s the matter. What’s going on?”

 

Fury pushed past every other emotion vying for dominance, and Edward shoved Carlisle backward. “Maybe you want to tell me what’s going on, huh? Maybe you want to tell me why we’re supposed to be here together, but you’d obviously rather be here with Garrett. I’m sorry if I’m cramping your style. Is that why you were trying to get me not to go earlier? So you could come alone?”

 

Carlisle’s eyes went wide. “Edward--”

 

But Edward couldn’t stand to hear anything. He turned again, and all but ran out the front door. His thoughts were anything but rational, and he searched his pockets for a full minute before he realized he hadn’t driven here. “Fuck.” He kicked the side of Carlisle’s car. His fury was beginning to ebb, and he didn’t like what was on its coattails.

 

The car beeped, and Edward turned. He shouldn’t have been surprised to see Carlisle coming down the drive, but for some reason, he was. “Get in the car,” the older man said.

 

The tone of his voice turned Edward’s blood to ice. His Dom, no, his boyfriend’s mouth was set in an angry line he’d never seen before, and his cheeks were flushed red. Anger or embarrassment? There were quite a few people watching. This was a very different scene than they’d expected when they came here.

 

Edward swallowed hard, not sure whether he wanted to fall to his knees to beg Carlisle’s forgiveness or tell the man to fuck off. Carlisle stepped into his personal space, leaning in so they were nose to nose. “Get. In the car,” he said, his voice low and dangerous.

 

The look in his eyes and the tone of his voice left no room for argument. This wasn’t a side of Carlisle Edward had ever seen before. It was terrifying--not because he felt like he was in danger or anything like that, but because Edward had no idea what was about to happen. He had no idea what he wanted to happen. He really had no idea why he’d done what he’d done and said what he said and oh god, he was still so fucking angry too.

 

He took a step back, finding Carlisle’s glare too intimidating, and then his feet made his decision for him. He walked around to the passenger side of the car. His hands trembled, and he fumbled at the handle twice before he could get in the car. He slammed the door. Carlisle likewise got in, slamming his door.

 

Neither of them spoke the whole ride home. As much as the silence killed him, Edward was glad. He had no idea what he wanted to say. His whole body trembled by then, and his eyes stung. That in particular pissed him off. It was ridiculous. Everything was ridiculous. He was pissed at himself for making a scene like an asshole and pissed at Carlisle for all the touches and intimate conversations. Most of him knew the accusation he’d hurled had to be ridiculous, but there was a part of him that wouldn’t be ignored that thought...maybe.

 

The maybe was driving him insane.

 

And on top of all that was the sick feeling he got when he knew he’d displeased his Dom, that horrible burning shame and disappointment that went straight to the marrow of his bones. That too was added to the mess churning inside him. He leaned his head against the cool glass of the window, wondering for a horrible moment if he was about to throw up.

 

He didn’t. They got home and Edward’s heart sunk when Carlisle stormed up the walkway without him. He left the door open, though. That was something at least.

  
Edward closed his eyes and took a deep breath before he got out of the car and followed. Whatever was about to happen, it wasn’t going to be pretty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Many thanks to songster, Packy 2.0, MoH, Barburella, and you all for putting up with me.
> 
> Quick note - I’ve started a group on Facebook where I post...stuff...like teasers etc. You’re welcome to come chat. Yell at me for leaving it here. Whatever. :) It’s under LyricalKris.


	25. Boom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: You can thank the girls on my Facebook group for the update. I’m a sucker for begging.

Carlisle only stormed as far as the living room, and he waited, his back turned away from the door. The whole car ride home he’d been trying to calm down, but so far it hadn’t worked. He was too hurt and pissed off to be calm.

There was the sound of the front door closing--not slamming, he noted--and then Edward’s footsteps coming closer. Carlisle took a deep breath before he finally turned around. “Okay,” he said, spreading his arms out wide. “You have my attention. You want to tell me what the hell is wrong with you?”

 

Edward's eyes narrowed. "What's wrong with me?" He stepped up into Carlisle’s personal space, his head held high as he glared. “What’s wrong with you? This was supposed to be a good night, but you made it all about him.”

“Edward, back off,” Carlisle said through gritted teeth. “You’re trying to intimidate me, and it’s not something I’m going to stand for. Take a step back, and use your words, not your physical power.”

Instead, Edward only pushed another inch forward, nose to nose with Carlisle now. “What are you going to do about it?”

Carlisle’s nostrils flared, and he clenched his fists at his sides. “I have never touched you in anger. I’m not going to start today, so if you’re looking for a fight, you’re going to be disappointed. Now you, on the other hand, have already been physical with me. You already shoved me at the party. You think about the kind of man you want to be right now before it goes further than that.”

At that, Edward’s features blanched. His breath was erratic, and for several long, tense seconds, he didn’t move. It seemed to take him great effort, but he stepped backward twice and sat down on the couch.

Carlisle breathed out slowly, relaxing his fists. He was shaking, he realized. Was Edward really angry enough to hit him? “You really do think I was cheating on you with Garrett,” he said. “Or that I wanted to, at least.”

Dizzy with the pain of that realization, Carlisle sat down on the edge of the sofa, facing Edward. He scrubbed a hand over his face, trying to find words. He couldn’t.

“What the hell am I supposed to think?” Edward asked, his tone venomous. “You were making eyes at him all night.”

“Making eyes?”

“Don’t fucking look at me like I’m crazy. I know what I saw, and I’m not the only one. Did you know that girl sitting next to me asked if we were all together? You, me, and Garrett?” His tone now was disgusted. It made sense. The bullshit he was spewing was vile. “Because she saw him serve you, and saw the way you looked at him, and saw him touch me as if he had the fucking right. Everyone else could fucking see it. Did you expect me not to?”

“Everyone else?” Carlisle huffed, and ran a hand through his hair restlessly. “Was it someone else besides that one person?”

Edward clenched his jaw, his expression somewhat uncertain about that, but then he shook his head. “You’re not even denying it.”

“Because there’s nothing to deny,” Carlisle said, his voice raising. “Nothing is happening. Nothing is going to happen. The host of a party brought both of us something to eat. I was looking at him because I was talking to him, which is also something that happens at parties: you talk with your friends. I didn’t think anything of him touching you because I thought he was your friend, too. You’ve told me you were friends.”

“Well, I don’t fucking want to be his friend. I want to know why the hell he has one of these.” Edward yanked at his cuff, glaring at Carlisle with anguished, accusing eyes.

Carlisle blinked, thrown off by the randomness of the question. “He has one of those because I gave it to him when we were together.”

“No shit, Carlisle, but if he hasn’t had a need or a reason to wear since then, why the hell was it out? Because that woman saw it. She told me it was sitting there, out in his bathroom for everyone to see. It’s not like people don’t know what that means.” He gestured to the ring Carlisle wore whose crest matched both cuffs.

“What Garrett does with his property isn’t any of my business, and I have no idea why you’re blaming me for him leaving it out. I haven’t been with him for almost thirteen years…” Carlisle trailed off, realizing that was a lie.

Edward narrowed his eyes. “What?” he demanded.

Carlisle blew out a sharp breath. In his current state, he couldn’t decide whether Edward would react better to a white lie or the truth. “We’ve had a few one-offs. Mostly in Vegas.”

The way the blood drained from Edward’s face startled Carlisle. He got up, moving to touch Edward’s shoulder, but the other man jerked away, standing and stumbling several steps back. “Not this year,” Carlisle said. “Not for many years, actually. Well before I met you.”

“Yeah right,” Edward said, his voice a raspy growl. “That’s why he was in your bed when I called.”

“You know why he was in my bed. We were drunk and fully clothed.”

“So you say.”

Every time Edward refused to believe him was like a fresh stab to his gut. He turned away, rubbing at his temple. “I can’t believe you,” he said, hurt and angry. “This is bullshit, Edward. Of the two of us, you’re the one who’s been with him most recently. I haven’t been with anyone since you, and you know that. You know that.”

“You had your heads bent together all night and you went off with him for ages. You were laughing with him. Why--”

Carlisle turned, the last of his self-control snapping as he looked Edward in the eyes. “Because he’s my friend, and you told me you didn’t have a problem with that. I asked you. I fucking asked you over and over again if you had a problem with Garrett. Of the two of us, the only one lying here is you!”

“I wanted to believe you. I kept telling myself I was stupid for thinking something might be going on, but tonight was too much.”

“So instead of telling me you were bothered, asking me about what was going on, you decided I’m a liar and a cheat?” He shook his head, clenching his hands in fists by his sides again. It was difficult to resist the urge to shake the other man until his teeth rattled.

For the first time, Edward looked uncertain. He swallowed several times before he spoke again. “Even if it wasn’t you, it’s not like you did anything to discourage him. You’re not dumb, Carlisle. He’s still attracted to you. He’s still in love with you, and he’s making it obvious to everyone. That’s why his damn cuff was out tonight. You think it wasn’t meant to claim you?”

“Attracted I’ll give you, but isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black? I’ve known Garrett for a long time, but you’ve been working with him for months now. Haven’t you picked up on the fact he’s not shy about announcing who he’s attracted to? He’s a flirt. That’s part of who he is, and if you think he doesn’t flirt with you constantly, you’re delusional. I’ve never seen you stop him either.”

Edward was visibly taken aback by that, and Carlisle took the moment to breathe in, willing himself to find calm. Anger and screaming wasn’t going to get them anywhere. “Garrett hasn’t said anything to me about how he might feel about me, so I won’t speak for him in that regard. However, I will tell you that his room was off limits tonight. Think about what that means. It means the master bathroom was off limits. That’s where his jewelry case was. That means if that woman was in there to see his cuff, she was there without his permission. He didn’t mean for anyone to see that.”

Uncertainty again flashed over Edward’s features, but he wasn’t ready to give up the fight yet. “Okay, then why don’t we talk about why he thought you should know his room was off limits?”

Hands on his hips, Carlisle stared the other man down. “Yes, Edward, lets. You want to know what he was talking about all night? Why I was so distracted? Why I walked away with him and Amun. By the way, are you forgetting that he was with Garrett and me tonight, or are you going to accuse me now of arranging an orgy right in front of your eyes?”

Edward’s lip twitched in annoyance. He waved a hand. “Okay. Why was he talking to the two of you all night?”

“Because he wanted our advice. Amun and I are the only people he knows in the scene who are also in long-term, loving relationships.” His tone turned somewhat acerbic on the word loving. He didn’t feel very loved just then. “As it turns out, Garrett is in love, though not with me.”

Edward blinked. “What?”

“He’s head over heels in love, and as he’s been making fun of me for months now, I was happy to return the favor. That’s why I was laughing so much with him.  And beyond that, I was happy for him. He’s nervous, hence all the questions.”

Edward sat back down on the edge of the couch, running a hand through his hair. “If he’s so in love, why wasn’t his boyfriend or whatever there?”

“She wasn’t there because she was at work for the first part of the evening, and then she was preparing for the demonstration. She was the dominatrix that was about to speak before we had to cut our night early to deal with your temper tantrum.”

Edward blinked several times at that. “She… The one with the strapon?”

“Yes. She’s a switch, for the record. In case you were curious. I’m sure he’d be more than happy to tell you. He just didn’t want to take you away with me and Amun when he didn’t want to talk with Amun’s sub.”

“Oh.” Edward stared forward, unseeing for a few seconds. “Oh,” he said again, and he sagged forward, his head in his hands. “Oh god. I… I don’t know...”

With a sigh, Carlisle sat down near Edward. He put a tentative hand to his back.

“I’m sorry,” Edward said, his voice a whisper. “I don’t know… I was so angry. It was so obvious.”

Carlisle slid off the sofa onto his knees. He took Edward’s hands, looking up at him. “Edward, I asked you so many times to tell me if something bothered you even a little bit.”

“It was stupid. It felt stupid to be so jealous,” Edward said, not looking at him. “I knew it was stupid then, like it was stupid now for me to think…”

“Baby, please stop saying that word.” Carlisle squeezed his knee. “I think I understand. You grew up in a family that put a low value on emotions. Well, this is the result. You dismiss your own feelings as stupid, but it’s not as though you let them go. You save them until you’re at a boiling point. You did it with that patient, that girl you lost. Rather than talk about what you were feeling, you held it in until you couldn’t deal with it, and look how that turned out.”

“I’m sorry,” Edward said again.

Carlisle pushed to his feet and rubbed his neck, trying to think. “We can’t be like this, Edward. We can’t do this. We--”

The way Edward’s features twisted and he sucked in a quick gasp startled Carlisle into silence. Edward wrapped his arms around himself, his face gone bone pale.

Quickly, Carlisle sat beside him. He put a hand to his cheek, but Edward refused to look at him. “Edward. Listen to me. Goddammit.” He dropped his hand, frustrated. “Do you really think it would take so little to break us? Do you not even trust me that far? Do you know me at all?”

Carlisle got to his feet again, needing to spend some of the frustrated energy coursing through him. "What I was going to say is we need to work on our communication. Do you have any idea how much this hurts? I have been happier with you than I've ever been in my life. Most of the time, when I go to lunch with Garrett, all I do is talk about you. Luckily for me, he likes you. He thinks you're an incredible doctor, and he likes you as a friend too."

By this time, Edward’s face was flushed with misery. He slid off the couch onto his knees in front of Carlisle and wrapped his arms around his legs. He rested his head on his stomach, his breath shaky as Carlisle put a hand to his head. “I worship you,” Edward said, not looking up. “Do you know how easy it is for me to see you and I make no sense? I’m a kid. I’m sitting here on the lowest rung of the ladder in life, at work. Do you know how easy it is to see you with someone like Garrett?”

Kneeling, Carlisle took Edward’s face in his hands and waited until the other man’s shame-filled eyes finally met his. “That’s your parents talking,” he said, stroking his cheek with a gentle touch. “Baby, this is about trust. Do you understand that’s why this hurts me so badly? How must you see me? A liar and cheat at worst?”

Edward shook his head vehemently. “No. No.” He swallowed hard. “I don’t think that. I really don’t. I know what I said tonight, but I was… Hell, I don’t even know what I was, but I didn’t think you were cheating on me. That’s why I kept telling myself it wasn’t a big deal--when you had lunch with Garrett and didn’t tell me, when I called and he’d spent the night in your hotel room. I believed you.”

He cut off his babbling and pressed his lips together, visibly trying to get his emotions in check again. He took a shaky breath, and his words were a little more steady when he spoke. “I don’t know. I got it into my head that Garrett would pounce on you at the first opportunity--like he saw what we had, and he wanted it. I guess it stuck with me, that if you were given a choice between Garrett and me, you might choose him.”

“Edward.” At a loss for words for a moment, Carlisle put his hands to Edward’s shoulders and gave him a light shake. “You’re killing me right now, do you know that? What do you think this is for me? Do you think you’re some plaything I’m amusing myself with until something more serious comes along? Do you really not trust me at all?”

“I do.” Edward put his hands to Carlisle’s waist, looking at him pleadingly. “I do. It’s me. I’m just… I’m so…”

“Do not say you’re stupid. I hate that word.”

Edward ducked his head, going quiet.

“You’re only human, Edward. Do you understand that I’m not mad you had doubts in the first place? When I asked you if you were okay, I expected an honest answer. Do you get that’s what my problem is?”

Edward nodded, his eyes still riveted on the ground.

“I want you to trust me.”

“I--”

“No,” Carlisle said, his tone brooking no room for argument. “You don’t trust me. You don’t trust me to know what I want for myself, and you don’t trust me with the things that bother you.” Now Carlisle ducked his head, trying to catch Edward’s eyes. “It’s not insurmountable, and it’s not all your fault. I should have followed my instincts. I should have known there was something wrong when I had to keep asking you if something was wrong.” He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “I was just stuck in the honeymoon period, I think. You make me so happy, Edward. I think I wanted to believe nothing was wrong.”

Edward met his eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“I know, sweetheart. I am, too.”

He gathered Edward into his arms, wrapping him up tight. Edward clung to him, his breath so staggered, that if Carlisle didn’t know any better, he’d think he was crying. He was definitely trembling. For minutes, Carlisle held him, nuzzling the side of his head. “I love you,” he murmured against Edward’s ear. “And I don’t care if something you feel seems irrational. If it bothers you, it bothers me, and we can figure out together. But you have to give me the chance, baby. You trust me with so much. I want you to trust me with your heart.”

“I do,” Edward said. “I do.” His voice cracked, and he pulled away slightly, making a small noise. “Fuck, he said, digging his balled fists into his eyes.

Specifically trying not to cry as usual, Carlisle reflected. He got up enough to sit on the couch and opened his arms. “Come here.”

Edward came without a fight. He sat beside Carlisle, and within seconds they were tangled in each other’s embrace. Edward ducked his head to run his nose along the line of Carlisle’s neck. He breathed him in. Carlisle cupped his hand under Edward’s chin, guiding his face up to kiss him.

They were shaky kisses--relieved, because they both knew the worst was over. They were still there, still an unbroken unit, but at the same time, there was something raw around the edges. They were still a new couple, and maybe they were both still frightened they could discover something they couldn’t get past. For himself, Carlisle was shaken to his core. Insecurity or not, that Edward was capable of believing his parents might be right about the depth of Carlisle’s feelings for him disturbed him. What was between them had changed, if only slightly, and so their kisses carried that slight bit of uncertain neediness with them.

When they broke to breathe, they sat in silence for another minute or so. Carlisle had his arm around Edward’s shoulders, his head resting against the other man’s. Edward played with Carlisle’s fingers--tender, tentative, and reaffirming touch. He ran the pad of his finger over Carlisle’s ring, tracing the crest that was a match to the one he wore.

“Carlisle?”

“Hmm?”

Edward’s breath had grown erratic again, and Carlisle sat up. He was shocked to see his boyfriend’s features were drawn, his brows knitted and his jaw hard. “Honey, what is it?”

Edward closed his eyes, breathing in through his nose, then out again. He pulled out of Carlisle’s arms and slid back onto the floor on his knees, the gesture altogether different from when Carlisle had done it earlier that evening. He bowed his head, clasping his hands behind him, his manner contrite. “I think you should punish me, Sir.”

Carlisle’s first reaction, after his heart started beating again, was to vehemently deny Edward’s request. As boyfriends, they were equals. Edward wasn’t going to get to punish him for any perceived wrongs, and Carlisle wanted the same to go for him.

However, if Edward was asking in this distinctly submissive posture, it was Carlisle’s responsibility as his Dom to understand why. He took Edward’s face in his hands, making him look up, and stared him in the eyes. Guilt and shame shone there, but something else, something deeper and much more frightening.

Carlisle ran over the whole conversation in his mind as best he could, listening now not from the point of view of a boyfriend but of a Dom. The answer was painfully obvious.

There was a reason this party had been Edward’s breaking point. This was supposed to be a good night, he’d said. He’d been looking forward to the party, looking forward to showing the people in their world that he was claimed.

No wonder it had shaken him so badly to know someone had seen Garrett’s old cuff. No wonder. He’d felt rejected not only as a boyfriend but as a sub.

With a start, Carlisle realized that Edward might very possibly be on the edge of a subdrop. Edward trusted Carlisle with some of the deepest, most secret parts of himself--his submission, the relinquishing of control over his body and will. To show someone the deepest part of yourself and to be rejected on that level was devastating in ways normal relationships would never touch. Edward had felt betrayed earlier this evening and now he felt stupid, guilty, and ashamed. Carlisle had reassured him as his boyfriend, but he needed total reassurance, total acceptance of every part of himself.

Of course, Edward being as emotionally stunted as he was, the need for punishment would have been foremost in his mind. Like when he’d lost his patient, his punishment was a catalyst, a way to get the horrible things he must be feeling out, because he didn’t yet have the words. His upbringing hadn’t taught him how to deal with an overabundance of emotion like this.

No. As much as Carlisle didn’t want to punish Edward for this, he understood beyond a shadow of a doubt that was what he needed. He took a deep breath, running his fingers through the hair at Edward’s temple.

“You were very disrespectful tonight, weren’t you, baby boy?” he asked, still stroking Edward’s hair with gentle fingers though he let his tone grow firm.

The relief in the set of Edward’s shoulders was visible, though he kept his features schooled.

“Yes, sir.”

“Not only to me, but you were rude to the host of the party in his own house, weren’t you?”

“Yes, sir.”

“And you threw a very childish temper tantrum in front of all Garrett’s guests, didn’t you?”

Edward swallowed hard. “Yes, sir.”

“What happens to young men who act like disrespectful little boys?”

“They get punished, sir.”

“Yes, they do.” He cupped Edward’s chin, looking him in the eyes, triple checking again that he really wanted to do what they were about to do. “Stand up,” he said.

Edward got to his feet, his hands still clasped behind him.

 **  
**Carlisle’s heart was beating out of control, though his voice was steady when he spoke. “Go bring me the tawse.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Many thanks to Songster, nikki, MoH, Packy, barburella, and jessypt. My docs were amazing, man. 
> 
> So...how are you?


	26. The Tawse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Oye, okay. I need to make one thing clear - and this is totally my fault because I had Edward express this thought about how you treat subs at play parties without explaining it.
> 
> Play parties are still just PARTIES. That means friends are still friends, even within that community. As far as Garrett is concerned, he and Edward are friends. As far as Carlisle was concerned at the time of the party, Garrett and Edward were friends. The only person who knew Edward didn’t like Garrett was Edward--and he wasn’t speaking up about it. Ergo, there’s no real reason why Carlisle would stop a friend from greeting a friend as was customary--Garrett nearly always ruffles Edward’s hair. If you look back, you’ll note that Garrett refrained from speaking to him the way he usually does (you know, teasing him about being Carlisle’s sub, being vaguely dominant, ordering him around etc). Edward overreacted because he was in that headspace where everything Garrett did was about five thousand times worse than reality. In other words, unless there were explicit rules for the evening (say a Dom informed a sub he/she couldn’t talk to another person without consequence), Garrett is free to touch Edward as a FRIEND, though it would have been inappropriate for him to take liberties to touch or interact with him, even teasingly, in a dominant manner.

Under normal circumstances, Edward would have been quick to grab what he’d been sent for. Dawdling meant extra strokes, after all. Tonight, though, he knew that wouldn’t be the case. He could have what time he needed.

 

He crossed the room slowly. His heart was pounding too fast and his breath was shaky. He knelt before the chest, his fingers trembling enough that it took him a few seconds to work the latch. He knew exactly where the tawse was. He’d glared at it often enough when he’d been sent to fetch other toys.

 

Everyone had a limit. That was what Carlisle said. It annoyed Edward to no end that this piece of concentrated evil was so close to his limit. Three strokes with this thing had reduced him to a quivering mess. The thought of a full-fledged punishment with it was terrifying.

 

Generally speaking, Edward didn’t like things that could conquer him. That was why he hadn’t taken the thing off the table when Carlisle offered. If Carlisle expected him to safeword, he had another thing coming. After all, it was no less than he deserved.

 

Head bowed, he turned the tawse over in his hand, tracing his finger over the split tail of the leather, swallowing around the thick knot in his throat. Carlisle was right. His boyfriend had come to him, shown him his vulnerability when he told him how much he feared losing what they had due to a rookie mistake. Edward had promised he would talk the minute something bothered him. He hadn’t. More than breaking his promise, he’d lied when asked about it directly. He’d lied over and over again.

 

Tonight, all Edward had wanted was to be the perfect couple--a happy sub with his Dom; deliriously happy boyfriends who shared trust on every level. Looking back, he could see that the night had been perfect from Carlisle’s perspective. He’d been happy and attentive, pulling Edward first down on his lap and kissing him possessively in front of everyone. He’d worn his ring--a piece of jewelry he never wore--so there would be no mistaking that they were together. And while he didn’t like to think of the fact that Garrett had once owned a cuff like his, Edward believed no one had been meant to see it out. Either way, Garrett’s action had nothing to do with Carlisle. Except for the relatively brief time he’d disappeared with Garrett and Amun, he hadn’t stopped touching Edward. During the presentation, though he’d been caught in conversation with Garrett, it was Edward’s hair he stroked. Now that Edward thought of it, he realized that he’d been engrossed in the bondage demonstration but hadn’t Carlisle told Bella once that he had no interest in complicated bondage? He was being a good boyfriend, not distracting Edward with his boredom, instead turning in conversation to Garrett.

 

A simple conversation with a friend he’d had long before Edward even knew what BDSM was. The more he thought about it, the worse he felt. He thought of the look on Carlisle’s face when he said Edward didn’t trust him with his heart, and he thought for a moment he’d be physically ill.

 

More than anything, Edward wished he could go back in time. He wanted to go back to the party and let himself remember a time not that long ago when he and Garrett had been friends. He’d had such a fondness for Garrett. He really couldn’t remember when he’d lost that. He wanted to go back to Garrett’s party, sit at Carlisle’s feet and rest his head on his knee. He wanted to be petted and adored. He wanted Carlisle to lean down and whisper about all the new ideas he had, talk about the things he was going to do to Edward when they got back home.

 

Instead of doing any of that, Edward had put that horrible look on Carlisle’s face--a look of such pain and betrayal. With his head clear, he had no idea what he’d been thinking, exploding like that with ridiculous accusations. For fuck’s sake, even if Carlisle had the inkling to cheat, he was smarter than to be so obvious right in front of Edward’s face. So not only had Edward called his devoted boyfriend a lying, cheating asshole, he hadn’t even given him credit for that beautiful mind of his.

 

Edward drew the stiff leather of the tawse across his palm and shivered.

 

There was a terrible churning in the pit of Edward’s stomach. Trust. Carlisle was right. For all Edward trusted him with his body, to hold his hand, lead him through terrifying but exhilarating limits within his kink, he hadn’t trusted him to really be in love with a stupid kid like him.

 

He closed his eyes, swaying in place. He felt so bad he would have done anything to get rid of the guilt and regret that was choking him.

 

At the end of a punishment, you should feel absolved of your guilt and forgiven, Carlisle had told him once.

 

Opening his eyes again, Edward got to his feet. A strange, yet terrible calm had come over him. He stood still another moment, a wave of dizziness washing over him. There was nothing to be scared of, because Carlisle wouldn’t really hurt him. Nothing at all to be scared of.

 

He could, however, be nervous. Oh, yeah. He was very, very nervous.

~0~

By the time Edward came downstairs and knelt before him, Carlisle had worked through his own anxiety. He was calm. Nervous but calm. He took the tawse from Edward’s upturned hands without looking at it and set it to the side. Taking Edward by the wrist, he tugged. “Come here,” he said, keeping his voice gentle.

 

He pulled Edward up and then tugged him back down again so he was seated mostly on his lap. Carlisle wrapped one arm securely around Edward, pulling him as close as he could, trying to make him feel safe and protected. With his free hand, he stroked Edward’s cheek, the brush of his fingertips a soft, reverent caress. One finger under his chin, he raised Edward’s head until the other man met his eyes.

 

“I love you,” Carlisle said. He traced Edward’s face along his hairline, overcome with the tenderness he felt for this man. Such a strange thing to look at one person and want so many things, so many extremes. He could spend hours, even days simply caressing every inch of this man’s skin, making sure every part of him felt all the love and adoration that was his. At the same time, he wanted to be the one, the only one, to push that same body to its limits. That kind of release was a journey built for two, and Carlisle wanted that very badly.

 

He breathed in deeply, briefly overwhelmed by the depth of his emotion, and tilted his head to rest against Edward’s. He traced the shape of his chin and ran his thumb over his lips. “There is nothing and no one more important to me than you.” He raised his head, holding Edward’s gaze. “No one.” He said the words slow, hoping they would sink into the depths of Edward’s psyche, hoping he would hear them and listen.

 

“You think I’m so much further than you in life, but those are just the accomplishments of time, baby. I can’t give you the time I spent getting where I am any more than you can speed up the time it will take you to grow in your career, in your life. But don’t you see?” He put his hand to Edward’s heart. “You’ve made me whole. You’ve shown me a piece of myself, what I can be, that I never dreamt existed. No arbitrary scoring system can negate that, Edward. Do you understand?”

 

Edward’s eyes searched his, the misery of his guilt tangled with the same overwhelming emotion Carlisle felt. “Yes,” he whispered.

 

For long seconds, Carlisle petted him, stroked his fingers through his hair and simply gazed into his eyes, showering him in warmth and affection. “I’m not angry with you.” This was true. He’d made sure it was true while Edward had been upstairs. He was a lot of things--annoyed and heartsick among them--but he wasn’t angry. “This thing you feel about you, me, and Garrett, we’re going to deal with that, okay? It’s important, and we’re going to work through it. This isn’t about me being angry, and it isn’t about me dismissing something that hurt you. I’m not angry.” He repeated the words so they couldn’t be doubted.

 

Edward breathed deeply and closed his eyes, whimpering slightly as he leaned forward. He brushed his cheek against Carlisle’s, like a cat’s gentle headbutt. Carlisle wrapped him up in his arms then, curling him closer and rocking him. He held him and waited.

 

It didn’t take long for Edward’s unsteady breath to even out. He squeezed Carlisle once and pressed the barest of kisses to his lips. “I love you,” he said.

 

“I love you too, baby boy. More than anything and everything.” Carlisle steeled himself, loosening his hold and pulling back so he could look Edward in the eyes. “Now let’s talk about what this is about,” he said, his voice stern.

 

Edward paled. He pressed his lips together into a thin line, and slid off Carlisle’s lap, onto the floor on his knees. He clasped his hands behind his back and bowed his head.

 

“You lied to me, didn’t you, pet?” Carlisle asked, running his hands through Edward’s hair gently though his words held that strict edge.

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

“You and me, this whole thing doesn’t work if we can’t trust each other. I’m not angry, baby. I’m very disappointed.”

 

Edward’s shoulders slumped. “I’m sorry, daddy.”

 

“I know you are. But it’s pretty much the biggest rule you can break - lying about something as important as your well-being; physical or mental. Do you understand?”

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

Carlisle picked up the tawse and let it dangle from his hand, so Edward could see it despite the fact he was looking down. He didn’t miss the shudder that shook his sub’s body. “We’ve already talked about how you disrespected your host and peers. Now, you’re going to be punished. I think you’ve earned a hard punishment. Do you agree?”

 

Edward’s breath was ragged now, but he swallowed hard and nodded. “Yes, sir.”

 

“Good boy.” Carlisle caressed his cheek once more. “I’m very proud of you. Stand up.”

 

When Edward got to his feet, Carlisle likewise stood and moved off to the side. “Strip,” he said.

 

Edward hesitated only a moment before he toed off his shoes, his socks. He didn’t look at Carlisle, keeping his head bowed. He pulled off his shirt and then, fumbling with the button as his hands shook ever so slightly, he unbuttoned his pants and slid them down along with his boxers.

 

“Good, boy. Tell me--”

 

“Don’t ask me to tell you my safeword. I know my fucking safeword,” Edward said through clenched teeth.

 

Carlisle crossed his arms. He’d expected this. This was the awkward line they walked sometimes--the difference between who they were as partners and who they were in a D/s relationship. After such a big fight, while Edward might have wanted to slip fully into his role as a submissive, it was understandable that he wasn’t all the way in that zone. What Carlisle wanted more than anything was to just hold Edward close--assure both of them that they might have been shaken, but they were still solid. But for Edward, that meant reestablishing this part of who they were. Now. It would only get worse if it wasn’t addressed.

 

He clucked his tongue in disapproval. “That was rude, little boy.”

 

Edward winced, his shoulders slumping.

 

“Is now the best time to be rude?” Carlisle asked.

 

Edward ducked his head. “No, sir. I’m sorry, sir.”

 

“Get on the table on your hands and knees.”

 

Edward was quick to obey. Though he was trembling a bit, he held his body as straight and possible. Carlisle stepped to him slowly. With each footfall, Edward flinched the smallest bit. When Carlisle stroked his fingers down his back, he shuddered. “Good boy. Very good,” Carlisle said. “Now I want you to tell me your safeword,” he said, his tone inviting no argument.

 

This time, Edward didn’t fight. “Appendectomy.”

 

“See how easy it is to follow the rules?” Carlisle moved to stand behind Edward. “You’re going to count these, baby boy. Nice and clear or we start over. You understand?”

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

Carlisle lifted the tawse and brought it down hard right at the center of Edward’s ass. Edward gasped and his body tensed. “One,” he said.

 

Edward had obviously gone into this with the intention of conquering the tawse. It was the whole reason he hadn’t taken it off the table despite his extreme reaction to it. Three licks had driven him into a frenzy before. This time, though his breaths were ragged, he got to four before he had trouble counting.

 

His body jerked violently with the next stroke. “Fffffffuuuck.”

 

“What was that?” Carlisle said, his voice calm though his stomach twisted.

 

“F-five. Five, sir. Thank you.”

 

At ten, Edward collapsed forward, burying his head in his arms though he kept his ass in the air. He turned his head only enough to stutter out, “T-t-ten, sir. Thank you.”

 

It was getting harder for both of them. Almost impossible. But Carlisle was done with this. He could see the way Edward wasn’t giving himself over to this. His body was tensed. His hands were clenched in fists. His teeth were gritted. Each stroke after six had drawn a cry of pain out of him, and yet he still wouldn’t let go.

 

“You’re doing well, baby,” Carlisle said, stroking Edward’s back. It was clammy to the touch. His shoulders shook. “Almost done.”

 

He raised the tawse and brought it down again, his body jolting right along with Edward’s when he cried out. “Eleven. Eleven,” Edward said. “Sir. Thank you.”

 

Twelve. Thirteen. At fourteen, Edward didn’t say anything. Carlisle closed his eyes momentarily, dizzy at the thought of starting over here. “Edward,” he said sharply.

 

“Four...four.” Edward’s voice was raw. “Fourteen, sir. Thank you. Thank you.”

 

“Last one.” Carlisle raised his arm and brought the tawse down with particular force.

 

Edward collapsed forward. His whole body was shaking badly. “Fifteen. Fifteen. Fifteen.” He chanted the words with a desperation that made Carlisle’s heart twist.

 

Dropping the tawse, Carlisle got to his knees at the side of the table. “It’s okay, baby. You--”

 

“Don’t touch me!” Edward was off the table in a heartbeat, but he was shaking too hard to stand. He knelt, curling his body inward, his arms around his head as he gasped in ragged breaths.

 

Carlisle crawled to him, not wanting to tower above him right then. “Come here, sweetheart. Let me--”

 

“I said don’t touch me!” Edward jerked away, clenching his fists so hard, Carlisle could see his fingernails turning the flesh of his palm bone-white. “You fucking asshole. Damn you. God fucking damn you. What do you want from me?” He closed his eyes tightly. “I hate that he’s touched you. I hate that he’s been in your bed and you’ve kissed him and fucked him and had him like you’ve had me. I hate that I know he still wants you, and I just have to put up with it. That’s what I get for being born too late, isn’t it? As if Esme wasn’t bad enough, now I’m expected to be okay you and Garrett are such good friends? I have to… I have to… I….” He was beginning to hyperventilate. He collapsed forward onto his hands, his breaths devolving into a wheeze. His shoulders began to shake.

 

Stricken by shock, Carlisle didn’t recognize the noise Edward made then. It took him almost thirty full seconds before he realized Edward was crying. It was a broken sound. He was still fighting it. Fighting with everything he had.

 

Carlisle crawled to him slowly. He put a hand to his back, the touch gentle.

 

“Don’t touch me,” Edward said. The words were growled, but he didn’t pull away this time.

 

“Shhhh. It’s okay. Come here, baby boy. It’s okay.”

 

Edward shook his head emphatically. “Go the fuck away,” he said, straightening up enough so he could wipe furiously at the tears. They didn’t stop.

 

“Come here,” Carlisle said again. He put a hand to Edward’s clenched fists and tried to work his fingers under his. “Come here, sweetheart.” He edged closer to Edward, close enough to put his arms around him.

 

“Get away from me,” Edward said, but he put his arms around Carlisle and hid his face against Carlisle’s chest. He was still crying and still fighting.

 

Tightening his grip, Carlisle stroked Edward’s hair. “Let go, Edward. I’m right here. I promise it’ll be okay. Trust me, baby. Trust me and let go.” He felt Edward shake his head in refusal. “Let go,” he said, nuzzling along his hairline.

 

Edward sucked in a breath and held it for one, two, three seconds. When he let it go, he did so on a sob. He shifted in Carlisle’s arms, nearly knocking him over as he clutched at him. “I’m sorry,” he said, the words muffled against Carlisle’s shirt. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

 

“Shhhh. There’s nothing at all to be sorry for. It’s okay. I’m right here, and I won’t let you go. You’re fine, baby. It’s okay.”

 

Finally, finally, Edward went limp against him. He let Carlisle support all his weight as he began to cry in earnest. They were gut-wrenching, soul-shattering sobs--the kind of bawling that came out as a broken keen. All his pent-up emotion, the deep pain and turmoil he’d never let himself feel, had him held captive, and he finally gave himself over to it.

 

Carlisle closed his eyes, holding his beautiful boy as tightly as he could. He didn’t care that Edward’s fingernails were painful as they dug into his shoulders. His heart was broken, but he was relieved. So relieved. Whether or not he’d admitted it to himself, Edward needed this.

  
Ducking his head to press a kiss to Edward’s hair, Carlisle closed his eyes, crying quietly right along with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Have a happy Father’s Day to all of you who celebrate. To those who have no one to celebrate with, I’m sorry. *hugs*. To those of you, like me, who have fathers not worth celebrating...come on. Let’s get this awkward, obligatory phone call over with so we can get on with the rest of our days. <3 
> 
> How we doing out there, kids?


	27. Make Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Good morning! Running late for work (again), but this is more important, right? Lol. If you guys aren’t hanging out in my Facebook group yet, you totally should. Apparently, I can be coerced into writing things… (so much love).

Some very distant part of Edward’s mind recognized he was descending into hysterics. It had come upon him with the strength and suddenness of an oncoming train. He’d gone into his punishment nervous but calm, determined to be stoic. Carlisle had been wonderful, as he always was, making sure Edward knew he was loved and safe before he laid a hand on him.

 

Edward felt horrible about what he’d done, and was shaken by the damage that he could have done to their relationship. He wanted to be punished. Even when the terrible crack in his ears, the searing sting of hard leather across flesh and the agony that went bone deep hit him anew with each stroke of the tawse, he didn’t want the pain to stop. That much he had control over. Edward knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was in control of this. Whenever he wanted the punishment, any scene, to stop, it would stop. No questions asked. No argument. No worry of further disappointing his loving Dom.

 

What he wasn’t in control of was his own body, his reaction. He tried to stay in the moment. This kind of pain, the pain of punishment, had so often acted as a balm to soothe his guilt and answer the deep-seated need in him to have someone who cared enough to hold him accountable. Then afterward, he would be free to lose himself to the insane high of endorphins, untethered by any burden of conscience. It drove him mad that this stupid thing, the tawse, drew such a strange and terrible reaction out of him. Why should it? How could he withstand much more extreme treatment? He’d taken forty-one strokes of the belt just for funsies on Carlisle’s birthday. He’d almost orgasmed when Carlisle had striped his back with the martinet. He’d been paddled, caned, strapped, switched. What the hell kind of power did this thing have over him?

 

As the frenzy in him got worse, he’d held on tighter, trying to get a grip on his spiraling emotions. It didn’t work. His body started to shake. He felt himself being driven toward some edge, some place he feared so badly that he’d have done anything not to go over. And he hated that fear, hated that he couldn’t seem to fight it back. He was a big boy--no need to be afraid, no need not to take his punishment like a man. The only thing keeping him grounded was his one responsibility to count each stroke as Carlisle instructed.

 

Almost the second it was over, and there was nothing he needed to do, Edward went straight out of his mind. That was the only way he could explain it to himself. He thought he couldn’t move--his every muscle was taut and frozen--until Carlisle touched him gently. Then he lost it. The things he’d said, the way he moved, the rising panic and emotion, Edward was in control of none of it.

 

Then the tears. Stupid, fucking, bastard tears. He had no reason to cry. None at all. He’d broken the trust in his relationship on several levels. He’d been punished for it. There was no physical damage, and Carlisle promised the emotional damage could be repaired. There was no reason to cry, but he couldn’t stop. He didn’t stop. The tears had him, and they wouldn’t let go.

 

Edward cried until his throat was hoarse, his head pounded, and his eyes ached. He’d sobbed until he was hiccuping, breathless with exhaustion, and lifeless in Carlisle’s arms.

 

Slowly, as sanity came back to him, a cold, dark emptiness settled at the center of his chest. Some dim part of his mind mused at his own stupidity. All of this had started because he’d begun to doubt he could be good enough for someone like Carlisle. What a catch he must have looked like--immature enough to throw an irrational temper tantrum at a party, and then he’d driven himself to the point of hyperventilation like a toddler on a crying jag.

 

Too much emotion and now too little. He felt nothing except tiredness and the throb of his aching ass.

 

“Baby?” Carlisle’s voice was as gentle as his touch. He stroked his fingers through Edward’s hair and wiped the remnants of his tears away. “Are you okay?”

 

Edward nodded, pulling back to sniffle, hiding his face behind his hands under the guise of wiping below his eyes. Physically, he was fine. There was something wrong with him, but that was his own problem; nothing Carlisle needed to be concerned with.

 

“Can you stand?”

 

Edward considered this and shook his head. His knees felt weak. He really didn’t feel like moving. He felt like curling into a ball and going to sleep. Maybe if he could sleep for a week, he might be able to forget his embarrassment at his reaction.

 

Carlisle got his arms around him and lifted him up. He must have been so much heavier, limp as he was, but Carlisle’s step didn’t falter. He carried Edward upstairs, into their bedroom and laid him down as though he were fragile. Edward rolled onto his side automatically, facing away from Carlisle, both because his ass was far too tender and because embarrassment was beginning to get the better of him.

 

He heard the other man sigh and the shift of the bed as he stood up. It was the sound of footfalls on the floor that finally brought Edward’s voice back. “Don’t go,” he whispered, the words barely there.

 

The footsteps paused. “What?”

 

Edward swallowed hard, staring forward, his eyes fixed on some point outside the window. “Please don’t go,” he said, only a little bit louder.

 

The footsteps came back and the bed dipped as Carlisle sat. “I’m not going anywhere, little one. I just wanted to get you some water and ibuprofen. And some lotion. Wouldn’t that feel better?”

 

It probably would have--his head alone ached so much he could hardly keep his eyes open--but when he opened his mouth, Edward found himself repeating his words. “Please don’t leave me right now.”

 

He felt foolish and needy, but it was an unquestionable relief when Carlisle lay down behind him, careful not to come in contact with his ass, and wrapped an arm around his waist. Edward let out a shuddering breath, closing his eyes as he tried to will away the ice that had settled at his core.

 

Carlisle pressed the pad of his thumb behind Edward’s ear, rubbing in a slow, circular motion. “Did I ever tell you what happened to my mother?” he asked, breaking the long silence that had stretched on between them.

 

Edward furrowed his brow. “No.”

 

“I killed her.”

 

All Edward’s breath left his body in a gust. “What?”

 

“It was an accident, of course, but it was my fault. I was five. We went hiking--my family, I mean. I knew better than to run along the cliffs, but I was chasing a squirrel. A bit of rock fell away, and I was frozen on a dangerous ledge. My father yelled at me to keep still, and my mother climbed toward me.” Carlisle swallowed hard, and Edward felt a shudder pass through his body. “I got too scared. I grabbed for her, grabbed her arm. She wasn’t steady yet, and she fell.”

 

“That’s terrible. Not you. You were a kid. You didn’t kill her. But it must have been terrible to see that,” Edward said, sick to his stomach at the mere thought.

 

Carlisle hummed. “I don’t remember if I told you much about the Dom I had after Aro. My last Dom, Eleazar. Aro… looking back, he didn’t always do the right thing. Too often he was focused on himself, his needs, not mine. His desires regardless of mine. Eleazar was a revelation in that way.”

 

Edward was far too tired to try to find eloquent words at that point. He found Carlisle’s hand and twined their fingers together instead. He had no idea where the other man was going with all this, but he was listening.

 

“During my time with Eleazar, I was having trouble in my relationship with my father. I’ve always had a cold relationship with him, distant. Right about then, for some reason, I just started to get so angry. For the first time in my life, I started picking fights with him.”

 

Carlisle breathed deeply, nuzzling against Edward’s hair as he continued. “One day, we had a particularly bad fight, and my father finally said what I’d always known deep down he believed. He told me I killed my mother, and he hated me for it.”

 

At that Edward rolled over, wincing when he rolled onto his backside. He readjusted himself so he was facing Carlisle. “That was a fucked up thing for him to say,” he said, cuddling closer, his arm around Carlisle’s waist now.

 

“I know that, baby. Thank you.” Carlisle cupped Edward’s chin, rubbing his thumb along his jaw. “When I saw Eleazar that evening, I asked him to punish me for my mother’s death.”

 

Edward made a soft noise of vague horror, and Carlisle nodded. “He didn’t want to do it. He knew as well as I did, as well as you do now, that I had no reason to be guilty. But reason or not, I was. Terribly so. I was angry at my father for being unable to love me unconditionally, but somewhere deep down, I did think I’d killed my mother. I did kill my mother. It wasn’t my fault, but I’m the reason she’s dead.

 

“Sometimes, what’s rational isn’t what matters most. I was a grown man. I knew I’d been a scared child, and what happened to my mother was an accident. It didn’t matter though. What I felt about what happened couldn’t be ignored just because I shouldn’t have felt that way. So Eleazar agreed to punish me for it, and it was the hardest punishment I ever took. Physically, I’m sure Aro’s were worse, but that this one was hardest because of what I felt.”

 

Carlisle was staring down now, his eyes unfocused, lost in memory. His voice was soft as he continued. “When it was over, Eleazar was the one who collapsed. He collapsed on top of me, and it took me forever to realize he was crying, too.” Finally, he looked up at Edward. “I’ve never told that story to anyone. You and Eleazar are the only ones who know.”

 

Edward knew for certain then what Carlisle was doing, telling him that story. He was giving Edward a gift--the most hidden, shame-filled piece of himself. He knew, he had to know, how vulnerable and weak Edward felt, having been so recently reduced to a bawling mess. He was trusting him with his darkest secret, trusting Edward not to make him feel ashamed or stupid.

 

They were safe with each other.

 

Edward tilted his head and pressed his lips against Carlisle’s in the softest of kisses. He knew his boyfriend didn’t think he was a stupid kid who’d done an immature thing. He understood, really understood, and he had already promised they would work on it together.

 

Breaking their soft kiss, Carlisle brushed his nose against Edward’s. “Are you sure I can’t get you something, baby?”

 

“No.” Just then, what Edward wanted most in the world was exactly this--to be engulfed in the arms of the man who loved him without conditions. A man who accepted him and his feelings, rational or not.

 

“You look so tired, Edward.” Carlisle ran the backs of his knuckles under Edward’s eyes. “Can you sleep?”

 

Edward pushed lightly until Carlisle was laying on his back. He rested his head against his chest, nestling there. “Stay with me?”

 

Carlisle rubbed his back. “Of course.”

~0~

Edward woke to the sensation of soft, sensual touch. He whimpered in pleasure as a thrill went down his spine, still mostly asleep but gaining consciousness quickly.

 

He must have rolled over onto his belly at some point during the night because Carlisle was pressing a trail of light, moist kisses down his spine. His hands were tracing patterns along the small of his back, teasing more than pressing.

 

Edward hissed and came fully awake as Carlisle’s easy touch skimmed over the bruised skin on his ass.

 

“Shh, baby.” Carlisle kissed his shoulder. “Let me take care of you now.”

 

Carlisle laid down beside Edward on the bed, on his stomach as well. His smile was as tender as his touch, and Edward felt a pleasant warmth flood through him, filling the cold, empty ache from the night before. There was a snap of a bottle opening and then Edward moaned as cool lotion hit his sensitive flesh. Carlisle rubbed in gentle circles. “How do you feel today?”

 

Edward took a moment to think about that. “I feel… better.”

 

“Better?”

 

“Lighter.” He took a deep breath, realizing as he said the words how true they were. Last night, when that terrible maelstrom of emotion and pain, both physical and emotional, had built in him to the point of bursting, crying had felt like the worst thing in the world. That was why he lashed out at Carlisle even though he needed him so desperately. He was afraid to let go. Afraid of his own tears; afraid of feeling like less of a man, less worthy because he’d been reduced to tears like a silly little boy. But he had cried, and though he’d felt like twelve kinds of hell afterward, scared as he was of Carlisle’s ultimate rejection, the burden of his anger, jealousy, fear, shame, and guilt was gone. Then, safe in Carlisle’s arms all night, surrounded by love and acceptance, even the fear of what crying meant had left him.

 

No. This man understood him and accepted him. All of him. Tears, jealousy, stubbornness and all.

 

“Lighter is good,” Carlisle said, his eyes sparkling with adoration.

 

Edward swallowed a moan. He was becoming increasingly aware that he was naked in bed with a man who loved him, a man who was also naked. Carlisle’s touch on his ass was so soft as to be sensual, and the delicious thrill of renewed ache sent electricity crackling through his system.

 

Carlisle must have sensed the change in the air or read the desire in Edward’s features because his eyes darkened. He leaned forward, kissing Edward sweetly at first, asking. Edward kissed him back, his hands tangling in Carlisle’s hair. They were shy kisses at first, as though they were new to each other again.

 

In a way, Edward supposed they were. Trust was a hell of a thing. Their trust in each other had been shaken however briefly, however intangibly, and they had uncovered new pieces of each other. Now, they had to set about the business of learning and growing together.

 

His hand on Carlisle’s shoulder, Edward rolled over onto his back, hissing a bit when he put weight on his sore behind. Carlisle rolled over him, catching his whimper with his mouth, holding himself aloft on his arms. “Okay, baby?” he asked in a breathless whimper, teasing his entrance with fingers that were slicked with lube.

 

“Uh huh.” Edward cupped his hand around the back of Carlisle’s head and pulled him down, not wanting to stop kissing him. If anything, the fresh ache only increased his desire.

 

Carlisle hooked his arm behind Edward’s knees, pushing his legs back as he got into position. “I love you,” he said, guiding himself into Edward.

 

“Love you.”

 

They made love slowly, neither of them in any particular hurry. They kissed deeply as they moved together until the effort of their lovemaking was too much. Then their kisses were open-mouthed, brushes of lips between hot puffs of air.

 

Carlisle groaned, quickening his rhythm, burying his face in the pillow by Edward’s head. He nipped at his ear, whispering sweet things in a disjointed, nonsensical way. “Beautiful, sweet boy. My love. I love you.”

 

Edward responded by raising his hips and legs. Carlisle, responding to the movement, pushed Edward’s legs further back, burying himself deeper inside him. They both groaned.

 

Being with him like this was incredible. To be so thoroughly claimed, taken by this man, this man he loved and worshipped, was an experience Edward had no words for. Each thrust sent a jolt of pleasure through him, the ache of his punished ass reminding him just how completely he was loved, worshiped, and adored. The enormity of that kind of acceptance rocked him, pushed him to the height of his pleasure. He reached for his cock, trapped as it was between their bodies, and stroked in time with Carlisle’s thrusts.

 

Edward had no idea how much time passed after that. He came back to himself slowly, pinned beneath Carlisle’s overheated, slick body. He didn’t mind being squished. He ran his hands down Carlisle’s back, over the curve of his ass, and gave it a little squeeze.

 

Chuckling, Carlisle lifted his head. His smile was soft, but he didn’t speak. Instead, he peppered the endearments Edward read in his eyes across the bridge of his nose, his cheeks, his chin, his lips in tiny kisses.

 

Then he rolled over, away from Edward just long enough to fish a shirt from the floor. He cleaned them both up and gathered Edward to him. Edward sighed contentedly, trying to remember why he’d ever been so wary of the soft stuff. He was changing, growing, and in his estimation, it was perfectly okay to like cuddles.

  
Tangled up together, they both fell asleep for a few more hours, stronger than they had been, and all the more in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So much heart to barburella, songster, jessypt, packy, MoH, and Nikki. Seriously, my docs are so funny. Love it.
> 
> Two more chapters I think. We’ll see. How are we all doing?


	28. Yes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you all for being you.

“Do I really have to do this?”

 

Carlisle cupped Edward’s cheek, tilting his head for a soft, quick kiss. It had been a few days since their fight. A few days in which Edward had gotten some sleep, cleared his head. He’d gone to work, but his and Garrett’s schedules didn’t cross. It was time to take care of this. “Did you get another job when I wasn’t looking?”

 

Edward made an adorable pouting face. “No? But I’m sure I can get one soon.”

 

Taking him firmly by the shoulders, Carlisle turned Edward around to face the door. The younger man grumbled, but he knocked.

 

Garrett appeared, shirtless, with that cocky grin of his plastered all over his face. When he saw who was on his doorstep, though, his smile fell. He cleared his throat  and took a step backward. “Come on in. You can meet Kate.”

~0~

“Hell yes, I’m attracted to your boyfriend. Hell yes, if I thought I could get him into my bed, I’d be all over that. And hell yes, what you have with Carlisle is something I wanted once upon a time.” Garrett chuckled. “Hell, watching you have it is what drove me to this.” He shot a look of mock-horror at Kate who smirked back at him. Laughing again, he looked back to Edward. “I also want you and Carlisle in my bed. I’m not surprised you thought any of this. Because I told you to your face every single one of those things.”

 

Edward grimaced, and Carlisle squeezed his knee. Garrett’s tone was a gentle tease, and he smiled as he continued. “I also asked you point blank if my blatant attitude was a problem.”

 

“I know,” Edward said, his tone timid.

 

Garrett turned to look at Kate. He picked up her hand and brought it to his lips. “I get the jealousy thing. It’s like, you found this thing, this relationship you want to keep forever in a world where nothing is forever. Relationships are so fragile. You don’t want anyone else to touch this awesome thing you’ve found.”

 

He turned back to Edward and spread his arms wide. “I’m an open book, man. I am who I am, and I won’t make any apologies for that. I like you, Edward. I don’t have a problem with dialing down my natural flirtatious instincts. Respecting boundaries is what people like us do best, after all. Just, you know, you have to call red when that’s what you need.”

~0~

Carlisle knew Edward was chafing. He was too smart for his own good, and that meant he was used to being right, to understanding what to do in any situation. While his upbringing had left him no outlet or way to process his emotions, it had also made him a capable and highly rational person. He didn't like feeling young and silly.

 

He also didn't like Garrett. Not yet. He didn't like Garrett's honesty. He would have preferred Garrett say he wasn't even remotely interested. He would get over it, especially now that they were all on the same page, but he wasn't over it yet.

 

Carlisle knew this because he knew his boy.

 

So, he wasn't surprised when Edward was on him the second they were back home. Carlisle raised his hands, prepared to take control. There were things left to say, things that needed to be handled before they could relax again.

 

Those things were very difficult to remember when Edward's lips were on him. Good God, he was intoxicating. The taste of him, the smell, the feel of his fingers pressing into Carlisle's back. He whimpered with the enormity of the emotion that rocked him. He loved this man so much it scared him.

 

Cupping Edward's cheeks in his hands, Carlisle pushed him back gently. "We need to talk, baby boy."

 

Edward growled and tried to kiss him again. He wanted to reclaim his territory. Oh, they both knew without doubt they belonged to each other, but they were men. The need to leave their mark was nearly irrepressible when they wanted, needed someone so much.

 

Carlisle tightened his grip, keeping Edward still. He looked in his eyes, pinning him. After a few tense seconds, Edward sighed and nodded. "Okay."

 

They moved to the sofa and sat with their knees brushing, their bodies angled toward each other. Carlisle took a deep breath and looked to Edward. "Two things."

 

"First?"

 

"The other night, you said something about Esme."

 

Edward winced and started to shake his head. "Carlisle, no. I'm sorry. I was lashing out. I didn't mean it. I'm okay with that."

 

"You've said that before."

 

Edward closed his eyes. "Fuck. That hurts."

 

"Baby--"

 

"No." He opened his eyes. "You were right the other night. I'm the one who lied."

 

Carlisle hummed. "I have two best friends. One is my ex, who flirts openly with me... And you, and pretty much anyone who looks at him, but I digress on that point. The best friend I've ever had is a woman with whom I share a piece of what we have together. It's a small piece, little more than a favor, but it's a piece. You should have told me how you felt, but I was willfully ignorant. I should have known things had to change." He traced Edward's lips with the pad of his thumb and smiled. "I've lived a solitary life for forty years, sweetheart. Change is necessary."

 

Edward smiled. He took Carlisle's hand and pressed it to his cheek. "We're working on Garrett. I meant what I said about Esme." He huffed. "I don't like it, but I told you that. They're your friends, and you love them."  He smirked. "Not like you love me."

 

"No, love." He caressed his cheek. "Not even close."

 

"I know that." Edward put his arm around Carlisle's neck, pulling him close to bump their foreheads together. "I know that. You're compromising about Garrett, changing your relationship with him for my comfort, because I can't cope with other people eye fucking a man whose heart and body belong to me."

 

"It's--"

 

"Only human. I know." He sighed. "It's childish and selfish to wish I was your whole world."

 

"You are everything to me."

 

Edward shook his head, looping the other arm around Carlisle's neck. "I can't be. I'm going to want you forever. Which means I can't keep you all to myself. That never works. We need full, complex lives and friends."

 

Carlisle tilted his head and kissed Edward, a reverent kiss. His heart was painfully full. "You really want me, this, forever?"

 

Edward raised his head, looking him in the eyes. A tiny flicker of uncertainty flashed through his eyes. "Surely you don't doubt that."

 

"No. I don't." He’d known, of course. He was still incredulous--how had this beautiful man wandered into his lonely life--but he knew Edward had always been honest about what he felt for Carlisle. He’d taken all the risks for them, had been the brave one.

 

Now it was Carlisle’s turn to take a risk. He pulled back slightly, running a hand through his hair. His stomach twisted with nerves. He took Edward’s hand and brought it to his lips. He kissed each knuckle and then ran the pad of his finger over his initials on the cuff Edward wore. “So the second thing,” he said, his voice tight around the lump in his throat.

 

“What’s the second thing?”

 

Garrett had explained what Carlisle had assumed--he hadn’t expected anyone to be in his bathroom. In considering his burgeoning relationship with Kate, he had dug the relic out of its usual hiding place, contemplating the only other time in his life he’d considered more. It had been a fluke--nothing more. The fact Garrett had a cuff like this had to hurt, if only irrationally. Garrett’s was then--a time that belonged to him but one that he wouldn’t ever display openly again. Edward wore his cuff every day, every minute that he wasn’t in surgery. Still, it had to hurt.

 

Carlisle took a deep breath, looking up at Edward. “I’ve told you a hundred times I have no idea how this works. And the timing of this... I can’t tell if it’s good timing, all things considered, or horrible timing.” He blew out a breath. “This might just be crazy. Or is it needy? I’m not sure.”

 

Edward looked at him, perplexed. “You aren’t making any sense.”

 

“I know.” Carlisle tapped the cuff. “Our relationship, what you mean to me, what we are to each other, has changed tremendously since I gave you this.” He took another deep breath, willing his stomach to stop fluttering. “I have something for you. I’ve had it for a little while.”

 

“Oh.” A curious smile played at Edward’s lips. “I was wondering when you were going to start to spoil me. What’s the point of having a hoity-toity doctor boyfriend if you can’t get spoiled, hmm?”

 

Carlisle had to laugh. His nerves eased somewhat. He did so much adore this snarky brat. “Yes, well.” He got up and crossed to the shelves at one side of the room. Heart pounding, he took a box from behind a few of his books. He walked back to the couch and sat beside Edward again. He put the box in Edward’s hands.

 

His eyes bright with excitement, Edward opened the box. Inside was another cuff. This one was better quality all around. Crisp black leather. The crest was made of real silver. It was also a much different design than the cuff on Edward’s wrist.

 

“What is this?” Edward asked, running his hands over the design--an open hand, a roaring lion, three clovers. “This is a family crest.’

 

“It is.” He swallowed hard. “It’s my family’s crest. The Cullen crest.”

 

Edward’s head shot up, his eyes gone wide. “What are you…”

 

His words fell away as Carlisle slid off the couch onto his knees. He took Edward’s hands in his. “This is too fast. I know that, but to tell you the truth, Edward, I don’t care. You told me once you wanted everything with me. Well, everything I am, everything I have is yours. I’m yours. That’s a foregone conclusion. I want to make it official. I want to marry you.”

 

Edward stared, his lips pursed in a perfect o, but he didn’t speak. He blinked. Carlisle’s stomach twisted violently. “If that’s not what you want--”

 

“No!” Edward shook his head. “I mean. Yes. I mean…” He pressed his lips together briefly and then tried again, a smile beginning to twist his mouth up. “Yes. Yes that’s what I want. And yes.  Yes. Yes.”

 

For a second, Carlisle couldn’t breathe. Though he was sure of Edward’s feelings for him, part of him still hadn’t believed he would get a yes to this most important question. Then, as realization dawned, he smiled. The biggest, most foolish smile of his life. His fingers trembled as he took the old cuff from Edward’s wrist and replaced it with the new one. He wondered if there had ever been a more profound sight than that--the visual promise that they would have everything, be everything to each other.

 

Edward tugged on his hands, and Carlisle stood again. Edward pulled him back down on the couch, and straddled him. He kissed Carlisle--a kiss rough with the intensity of the mood welling between them. He threw his arms around Carlisle’s neck and pressed his body as tight up against him as he could. Carlisle kissed him back with just as much urgency. His heart was about to pound right out of his chest, but not with nerves now. No. He was running on pure joy.

 

It hadn’t been so long ago that he gave up the idea he would ever be someone’s husband. Edward was a dream he never would have believed could be his. But it was no dream. Edward was real and warm in his arms.

 

They broke, breathless, and Edward laughed. It was such a breathy, happy sound. They kissed again. And again. Tiny kisses now. Sweet, quick kisses. Teasing.

 

“When?” Edward said between kisses.

 

“Um.” Did Edward really mean to hash out the details while he was writhing on Carlisle’s lap like that? “I, um. There’s no rush.” He stole a trio of kisses. “After your residency, even.”

 

Edward made a disgruntled sound, and he nipped at Carlisle’s lip. “Why wait?”

 

“Because, I--” He sighed, tightening his hands at Edward’s hips. “Then there will be time to plan. Prepare. You hardly have time to breathe right now, let alone plan a wedding.”

 

Edward snorted. “You think I want a big fancy to do?”

 

Carlisle pulled back just slightly, cocking his head to give Edward a superior look. “Who said anything about what you want? Maybe I want something lavish.” He tilted his head, taking in the sparkle in Edward’s eyes, the happiness painted all over his features. “Intimate, I think, but lavish. Beautiful. Like you.” He kissed Edward again, a soft kiss. “Like this. Like us.”

 

Edward stared at him with a look Carlisle hadn’t ever seen before, one he didn’t know how to identify. He pressed his lips together. The corners of his mouth were still turned up, but he seemed to be holding something back.

 

Before Carlisle could ask what it was, Edward started to laugh. It was a giddy sound, airy and breathless. He ducked his head, covering his eyes with his hands. “Fuck,” he said.

 

Carlisle furrowed his eyebrows, shock running through him as he recognized the shake in Edward’s voice and shoulders. “Baby... are you crying?"

 

“Ugh. No.” Edward wiped furiously at his eyes and laughed again. That same, slightly maniacal, but bubbling sound. He sniffled. “Of course I’m not crying. I hate crying. I don’t fucking cry.”

 

Carlisle raised an incredulous hand and brushed his fingers down Edward’s cheek. They came away wet with tears. Edward laughed again and threw his arms around Carlisle’s neck, hugging him. “Dammit. I must be a masochist to consider marrying you. Stop making me cry, you prick. You suck."

 

"We'll, if you're going to throw around accusations like that... " Getting a firm grasp on Edward, Carlisle pushed him over onto his back, quickly pinning his boyfriend--his fiancé --beneath him. He kissed his eyes, his nose, his lips, his neck. He took Edward’s hands, pausing to press a kiss against his cuff, and then pressed them above his head to the couch. He kissed him until they were both senseless. His hips pressed down and Edward’s up, grinding, sliding.

 

Slowly, Carlisle made his way down Edward’s body. They pulled their shirts off, and Carlisle licked and nipped at his skin. He swirled a tongue around Edward's nipples, reveling at the hot moans and sighs he could draw out of the other man. He ran his tongue along the sensitive skin around Edward's belly button, and rubbed his palm over the hot bulge in his pants.

 

Edward's fingers tangled in Carlisle's hair, alternately tugging and pushing as he slid his pants down. Carlisle took him in his mouth, his cheeks hollowed as his tongue teased and stroked in turns. He cupped Edward's balls, tickling and rubbing. He was good with his tongue and better with his hands. It didn't take long to reduce Edward to a writhing, mewling mess.

 

"Carlisle, please." Edward gave his ear a not so gentle yank. "Want you in me." He bucked up, meeting Carlisle's lips. "Please."

 

They rearranged themselves. Carlisle sat on the couch and Edward straddled him. He took Carlisle's cock inside him in one, two, three pushes. They moved together, hard and fast,  tongues and lips and arms tangling all at once.

 

Afterwards neither of them moved. They stayed wrapped up together, heads bent as they nuzzled each other and pressed tiny kisses to hair and cheek and ear. "I love you," one of them whispered.

  
"Forever, " the other answered, and sealed that promise with a kiss. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I have the most amazing fandom friends and readers. Thank you all so much. You have no idea how your words touch me. <3 
> 
> One more chapter, I think. We’re winding on down.


	29. Trouble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Well, folks. Here we are. Let’s get to it.

“You’re in a good mood tonight.”

 

Edward picked up Carlisle’s tie and turned, flashing him a grin. “Of course I’m in a good mood,” he said, looping the tie around Carlisle’s collar. He began adjusting his shirt around it. “My first important gala. One I shouldn’t be invited to for years.” Mischief sparked in his eyes. “The benefits of fucking an important doctor.”

 

“You are a shameless hussy, aren’t you?” Carlisle leaned forward, giving him a peck on the lips--just a quick one so as not to get in the way of Edward tying his tie. “You make for good arm candy, love.”

 

“I’ve been told I clean up nice.”

 

Carlisle drew his hand down Edward’s chest, straightening his jacket. “You haven’t been misinformed.”

 

He dropped his hands to Edward’s waist and turned him around to face the full length mirror. They stood side by side, and Carlisle took his hands in his. “Preview of coming attractions,” he said, radiating pleasure at the idea.

 

Edward mirrored his ecstatic smile. “Are we telling people tonight?”

 

Carlisle turned to him, taking his face in his hands and kissing him. “That would make me very happy.”

 

For minutes, they were oblivious to everything except each other. Even now, three weeks after Carlisle’s proposal, the pure joy of it washed over Edward as strongly as it had that night. It felt as though he was meant to be a Cullen. Edward Cullen definitely had a ring to it.

~0~

The week after the gala was the Christmas party at Carlisle’s hospital.

 

“Dude.” Emmett threw an arm around Edward’s shoulders, steering him away. “So, Dr. Whitlock came back from the gala last week with the craziest news.” He picked up Edward’s hand, looking at his bare ring finger. “Don’t tell me Dr. Cullen is a cheap ass. You know an engagement ring is supposed to be worth three months salary.”

 

Edward smirked. “Diamonds aren’t really my thing. We were considering buying an engagement TV though.”

 

Emmett laughed and beckoned to someone. “Babe, come over here.”

 

A statuesque blond appeared at his side. Talk about arm candy. She smiled, and Emmett took her by the wrist, bringing her arm forward. “Now, see? I know how a lady deserves to be treated,” he said, showing off an engagement ring that was very impressive given what Edward knew about Emmett’s salary. Emmett glanced at Rosalie. “Though--I don’t know, babe. What do you think about turning your rock in? I think this whole idea of an engagement TV deserves some consideration.”

 

“I have to be honest. I’d use a TV a hell of a lot more than I’d ever use a diamond ring,” Edward said. His wedding ring, however, he would only take off for surgery. The thought made him smile.

 

Emmett smiled back. “So this is my Rosalie. Rose, this is Edward Masen.”

 

Edward took her hand and, feeling both a sense of grandeur and cheekiness, brought it to his lips. “So you do exist. And on top of that, Emmett didn’t exaggerate about how beautiful you are.”

 

A genuine smile lit her face. She looked to Emmett, giving Edward’s hand a squeeze before she let go. “I like him.”

 

“I do, too.”

 

Edward glanced to the side, his smile widening as Carlisle stepped up and pressed a hand to the small of his back. “You only like me, hmm?” He stole a quick kiss.

 

“Well. Only enough to marry you.” Carlisle winked at him and turned to Emmett and Rosalie. “Speaking of impending weddings, did I hear right that other congratulations are in order? My dear, you’re far too lovely to settle for the likes of him.”

 

Emmett snorted, but Rosalie merely sipped at her wine as she let her eyes travel up and down Carlisle’s form. “The same can be said for you,  Dr. Cullen.”

 

“Hey, I thought you liked me,” Edward said, laughing in spite of his words.

 

Rosalie waved a waiter over and handed out champagne. “A toast to your and my extremely poor taste.” She handed a glass to Carlisle. “And to your extraordinary good luck.” She handed glasses to Emmett and Edward.

 

“I’ll drink to that,” Edward said.

 

Some time later, Edward was full of delicious food, decadent dessert, and perhaps one more drink than was entirely necessary.  He was happy--kind of dreamy, really. He was only half listening to Carlisle talk shop with the chief-of-medicine. As Carlisle spoke, he rubbed slow circles against Edward’s knee. Meanwhile, Edward entertained happy, idle fantasies that one day, he would be the chief-of-medicine’s husband. His gorgeous husband--a well respected surgeon in his own right.

 

It was a nice fantasy.

 

“I hope you’ll excuse me, Dr. Volturi,” Carlisle said, standing up. “I’d like to have a dance with my fiancé.”

 

Edward looked up, blinking. He smiled as he took Carlisle’s hand and let him pull him onto the dance floor. “Are you showing me off?” he asked as Carlisle pulled him close.

 

“Of course I am.” Carlisle pressed his hand to the small of his back, leading him into the first steps of a fancy-pants dance. “That’s what you’re here for. To make me look good. Successful.” He leaned in and pressed a brief kiss to Edward’s lips. “Like the luckiest man in the room.”

 

“So, that’s why you fell for me. Because I’m so damn hot.”

 

“There was that.” Carlisle moved his hand down to Edward’s butt and gave it a healthy squeeze before he returned his hand to his back. He tilted his head, his lips close to Edward’s ear. “And you have a tight, hot, little ass.”

 

Edward laughed, breathless with exhilaration and instantly horny. “Dr. Cullen, are you this forward with all your dates?”

 

Carlisle spun him out in a flourish and pulled him back in. “Only you,” he said. “Forever.”

~0~

There were times, in the last twenty years, when Carlisle was at home in his big, empty house, that the pain of loneliness all but choked him. He remembered those nights when he sat alone, wine in hand, pouring, and pouring, and pouring.

 

At least, he’d thought to himself, he would never have to deal with obnoxious in-laws.

 

It wasn't that the Masens were horrible people. They were simply stiff and cold.  Edward, though he tried his hardest to exude the aloof attitude he’d been taught, was simply too warm, too passionate.

 

What Carlisle truly hated about his soon-to-be in-laws was the effect they had on Edward. He lost his spark around them, became submissive in a way that made Carlisle’s heart ache.

 

The Masens were playing nice. Despite the fact they all knew Edward’s parents didn’t like Carlisle, they’d invited him to their home for Christmas. They didn’t pull the ‘not under my roof card’ -- Carlisle would sleep with Edward in his childhood bedroom. They were outwardly polite.

 

When Edward announced their engagement, his parents both put on tight smiles and forced congratulations. Ed pulled out his best brandy. Elizabeth kept glancing back and forth between Edward and Carlisle as though she just didn’t understand.

 

At dinner, though, Elizabeth did ask if they’d thought much about the wedding.

 

“Nothing specific,” Edward said. “We have a few random thoughts, but no theme or anything like that. I really want ice sculptures for some reason. I think that’d be cool.”

 

Ed, who had been fairly quiet to that point, threw down his napkin. “Ice sculptures? Of all the useless, frivolous garbage.” He tilted his head, staring his son down. “Not only is that an ostentatious waste of money, but there will be literally nothing left after the wedding. Nothing you can even save as a keepsake, unless you’re going to get someone to bottle it up for you as it melts.” He snorted derisively. “If you want to throw your money away, at least do it on something meaningful. That’s what charity is for.”

 

Throughout this dialogue, Edward had begun to shrink. His shoulders hunched inward, and he’d stopped eating. “My marriage is meaningful.”

 

This earned another derisive huff. “Junior, if you need something as silly as an ice sculpture to prove your marriage is meaningful, well… there’s not much I have to say about that.”

 

Carlisle put his fork down with a touch more force than was necessary and forced a smile, reminding himself that he had to try to get along with this man for Edward’s sake. “We all have our indulgences,” he said, keeping his tone even. He reached out and took Edward’s hand above the table, smiling at him. “We all have silly little things we spend our money on, money that could go so much further if it was in the hands of the poor or furthering some research project. But that’s part of life, isn’t it? Indulging now and again.”

 

He lifted his hand to touch Edward’s cheek in an intimate gesture. Edward’s eyes darted to his father but quickly back to Carlisle, and he smiled. He swallowed and some of his tension eased. “It’s the only big party I intend to throw in my life. Carriages, fireworks, fire dancers. I may just go for broke.”

~0~

Carlisle waited in Edward’s room. He’d gone downstairs for water thirty minutes ago. Carlisle figured he’d been cornered by his parents for a private discussion. As much as he wanted to go to him, support him, he figured Edward’s parents wanted their son alone. It was better to let this happen now when he could be there to comfort Edward afterward if he needed it.

 

Another long ten minutes passed before the door opened. Edward looked tired as he stepped in the room, but he brightened somewhat when he saw Carlisle.

 

“So, have you come to break up with me?” Carlisle asked, teasing though his throat was tight with the idea. He knew it was Elizabeth who’d put the idea into Edward’s head that Carlisle would prefer a man more his equal--his equal according to her metric. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t worried his parents would plant another poisonous seed.

 

Edward crossed the room and let Carlisle fold him into his embrace. “Their heart is in the right place. They’re just worried for me.”

 

“Mmhmm.” Carlisle kissed him once. “I have a question.” He pressed a trail of tiny kisses along Edward’s cheek to his ear.

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Did you ever sneak a boy up here?”

 

Edward’s laugh was breathy. He turned his head to catch Carlisle’s lips. “That’s the nice thing about being gay and not coming out to your parents right away. I didn’t have to sneak boys up here. They never suspected.”

 

“I see.” Without giving Edward warning, he took him firmly by the hips and spun him around. He pressed him against the door, his lips at his neck as Edward gasped.

 

“Shhh.” Carlisle drew the tips of his fingers down Edward’s arms. He took the hem of his sweater and pulled it up and off. He caught Edward’s arms by the wrist and pinned them to the wall. “I’m glad you had boys up here when your parents were home.” He peppered kisses along Edward’s shoulders. “It means you know how to keep quiet when pretty boys are doing dirty things to you.”

 

Edward shivered with pleasure, turning to look over his shoulder. “Did you just call yourself a pretty boy?”

 

“Hush now, pet.” He reached around, cupping his hand briefly over Edward’s crotch before moving to the button of his jeans. “You’re not going to make a sound, because if you do, I’m going to have to stop doing filthy things to you.” He pulled Edward’s jeans and boxers down, letting them puddle at his feet. “Do you understand, little boy?”

 

Edward nodded. “Yeah, Daddy.”

 

“Good boy.” He reached around and took a firm hold of Edward’s cock, stroking him to stiffness. It made it easier to do what he wanted. “There now.” He spun Edward around again and led him by the cock to his bed, smiling at the little noise he made that was half pain, half pleasure.

 

Hand on his back, Carlisle shoved Edward so he fell face down on his bed. “I have to confess,” Carlisle said, his voice pitched just above a whisper. “You left me alone for so long, I started snooping, and I found these.” He produced a number of Edward’s old ties. “Prep school boy, hmm?”

 

“Oh, God,” Edward muttered under his breath. He gave a short cry of startlement when Carlisle yanked at one of his legs.

 

“Shhh. Do you want me to stop?”

 

Edward shook his head somewhat frantically.

 

“Then you’ll have to be quiet, little one. I already told you.” He ran the soft, cool fabric of the tie over the backs of Edward’s legs. “If your mom and dad come in here and find you trussed up, well, you and I are going to have a lot of explaining to do, aren’t we?”

 

Edward groaned, burying his head in his arms as Carlisle tied his ankles, spread eagle, to the bed posts at the head of his queen sized bed. There were no posts at the foot, which was a shame. Carlisle would have liked to have the other man spread eagle. He was careful with his binds. Contrary to popular belief, using things like ties wasn’t the safest of practices, but they wouldn’t be playing so long or hard. “Comfy?” Carlisle checked when he was satisfied with his work.

 

Edward nodded.

 

Carlisle climbed onto the bed, straddling Edward. Using the tip of one finger, he traced patterns to Edward’s back. Light patterns, barely touching, almost tickling. He watched the rise and fall of Edward’s shoulders and the way his fingers gripped the comforter at the titillating stimulation.

 

“Give me your hands,” Carlisle said.

 

Edward’s breath stuttered, but he obeyed, putting both of his hands back. Carlisle moved back, kneeling between Edward’s spread legs. He bound his hands together at the wrist with another tie. “Comfy?” he asked again.

 

Again, Edward nodded.

 

“Good.” Carlisle began to tease Edward, running the tips of his fingers along the inside of one thigh then the other. He ran the other hand over Edward’s ass and pinched. He pinched and soothed, pinched and caressed. Every time the delightful noises Edward made began to escalate in volume, Carlisle backed off. Edward, catching on quickly, quieted.

 

“So,” Carlisle said, his hands still playing, tracing the shape of Edward’s balls as he leaned over him. “As I was snooping, I came across a box with a very helpful label. ‘Mom, I wouldn’t open this box unless you want nightmares’.”

 

Edward stiffened under his palm and then relaxed with a groan. He remembered the box.

 

Carlisle reached for where he’d planted one of the box’s many treasures. It was a very tiny vibrator. One designed to be worn on the finger. He put it on and turned it to the lowest setting. He put it to Edward’s ear so he could feel the vibration and hear the hum. Edward shuddered, breathless.

 

“I have to say. Teenage Edward was already a kinky little boy, wasn’t he?” Carlisle drew the vibrating finger down Edward’s spine.

 

Looking over his shoulder, Edward smirked. Just as quickly, he turned his head, burying a moan in the comforter as Carlisle and the vibrating finger tickled his sides.

 

Carlisle began to run his fingers over Edward’s balls, along the base of his shaft, and the insides of his thighs with a light hand. He pressed wet kisses across Edward’s shoulders as the younger man flexed and writhed beneath him. He spread Edward’s ass cheeks with one hand and pressed the pad of the vibrating finger to his asshole.

 

Edward bucked his hips against the mattress. His fingers clenched and released, helpless in his binds. He wiggled and pressed his lips together to keep from crying out.

 

“Such a good boy.” Carlisle flattened himself out, propping up on one elbow so he was almost on top of Edward. Hovering. Skin to skin. He flicked the vibrator off and flicked it to the side. His hand now free, he threaded his fingers in Edward’s hair and gripped hard, pulling his head back and making him gasp. “You want me to fuck you, little boy? You want me to fuck you in this bed with your parents right down the hall?  Hmm?” he whispered, the words rough as gravel near Edward’s ear.

 

“Ung. Ye-”

 

Carlisle tightened his grip. “Quiet, little one,” he warned.

 

Edward nodded, the movement frantic despite Carlisle’s hold on him.

 

“That’s good, because you have no idea how much I want you.” With that, Carlisle started kissing his way down Edward’s back. He used his tongue and fingers, making Edward ready for him. Then he slid inside him, deep, resting all his weight on him as they both moaned.

 

Carlisle reached over them, gripping the foot of the bed for traction as he moved, hard and fast. Their skin came together with a slap that seemed loud--the room had been relatively quiet for so long. It took some effort for Carlisle to temper his rhythm--they were in Edward’s parents’ house, after all.

 

He nibbled at Edward’s earlobe and, panting in his ear, relishing the feel of Edward moving beneath him, the sound of his tiny, muffled moans. Edward, his cock trapped beneath them, rutted against his bed, simultaneously pressing his ass up to meet Carlisle’s thrusts.

 

“You’re so good, little boy. So perfect. So beautiful.”

 

Edward sighed, and Carlisle could feel the tickle of his bound hands between them--a silent acknowledgement from his obedient sub.

 

Only when he felt Edward begin to stiffen beneath him, recognized the whine at the back of his throat, did Carlisle let himself go. He pressed himself into Edward, pinioning him at the hips as he jerked in orgasm. He buried his head beside Edward’s on the bed, muffling his own cry of ecstasy as Edward did the same.

 

When Carlisle felt himself capable of holding his own weight up, he pushed himself up onto his knees. He leaned down, kissing the back of Edward’s hair as his fingers worked to undo the binds at his hands. He stood on wobbly legs to undo the ties at Edward’s ankles.

 

A few minutes later, the blankets had been pulled back, but they were down around their waist, both of them heated by the warmth of their inner fire. Neither of them had said a word, and yet, they were speaking. They were speaking the lover’s language--running fingertips along the lines of each other’s faces and stealing the occasional kiss. They stayed that way until their touches grew feeble and eyelids heavy, and they drifted to sleep, both sated and unbearably happy.

~0~

Eight months later, they stood together in front of an officiant. The backyard of their house was decked out for a lavish but intimate wedding. Bella stood at Edward’s side, lovely in a dark blue dress. Esme stood up for Carlisle, brilliant with happiness for her best friend. All of their closest friends were there. Even Edward’s parents were there, grudgingly happy for the both of them.

 

As evening fell, they took to the dance floor for their first dance as husbands. Carlisle didn’t bother leading them into anything fancy. He wrapped his precious husband in his arms and tilted their foreheads together. Edward sighed, content, but when he opened his eyes, there was some mischief in them. “Should I wait until after we’ve consummated this marriage to tell you I’m actually only an opportunistic gold digger? You were an easy mark, old man.”

 

Carlisle laughed and kissed him. “Brat.” He brought his hand up to cup the back of Edward’s neck, stroking the hairs there as they swayed. “You are trouble, aren’t you?”

 

“Maybe, but you like it.”

 

“Love, Edward.” He kissed him again, lingering this time. “The word is love.”

**~The End~**

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Endless thanks to barburella, songster, jessypt, MyOnlyHeroin, and Packy 2.0 for their patience, insight, and general loveliness.
> 
> Thank you to the girls on my Facebook group for wedding plans and all the lovely discussions that cropped up over this fic (my oh my, we do dislike Garrett). 
> 
> Thank you for reading and thank you so much for taking this journey with me.


	30. Honeymoon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So….. This SHOULD be the last we see of our duo...but… I mean… I’m REALLY attached to these assholes. Like really. Like whoa. *sigh* 
> 
> So many thanks to the group discussion that helped me figure out where to send them on their honeymoon. I really love you guys.

“Wow, this place is a trip.”

 

Carlisle’s lip twitched as they navigated the cramped corridor of The Witchery. As soon as Edward unlocked the door, Carlisle dropped his luggage and hurried forward, gathering his beautiful husband up in his arms. Edward gasped, his arms going around his neck, and he laughed as Carlisle carried him across the threshold.

 

“You cheesy bastard,” Edward said, brushing his nose against Carlisle’s when he set him on his feet. He sighed, crossing his arm behind Carlisle’s neck as he pressed a breathless kiss to his lips. “You already did that part, remember?”

 

“Hmm.” Carlisle put his hands to Edward’s waist, swaying them. “I’m not sure. I’m an old man, baby. My memory isn’t what it used to be. Maybe you should remind me.”

 

“You remember.” Edward’s fingers scratched along his scalp. “It was that day we decided to invite a few friends over, and for no apparent reason, I put on a suit.” He tilted his forehead against Carlisle’s, his voice smooth and low. “We may have vowed some things. Something about to have and to hold, for better or for worse.” He sighed--a contented sound. “For as long as we both shall live.”

 

A wide smile spread across Carlisle’s face. He rubbed his hands in slow circles against the small of Edward’s back. “I vaguely remember. It’s almost there.”

 

“Someone said something about pronouncing us husband and husband.” Edward kissed him--barely a brush of his lips. “And there was much frivolity.”

 

“Oh, frivolity.”

 

“Yes. And then, because you’re a goddamned show off, you carried me up the steps and over the threshold of our house.”

 

“Yes. It’s coming back to me now.” He kissed Edward. This kiss lingered. “God, you were so beautiful. I’d never seen anything so stunning.” He cupped his face, his touch gentle. “I love you. Do you know that?”

 

Edward’s smile was mischievous, but adoring. He put a hand against Carlisle’s at his cheek. “I had an inkling, but it’s nice to know for sure.”

 

“Brat,” Carlisle said, and he kissed him soundly.

 

“Mmm.” Still grinning, Edward took a step backward. “Come on, husband mine, let me actually take a look at this place.”

 

As he said the words, he looked around and his eyes went wide. “Holy hell.” Standing in one place, he turned three hundred and sixty degrees, looking around. He laughed. “This is ostentatious.”

 

“I think the words the website used were ‘flamboyantly gothic,’” Carlisle said as he went out into the hallway to retrieve their bags.

 

Edward might have helped, but he was wandering around the room, trying to take it all in. It was a crowded, busy room, filled floor to rafters with lavish furnishings and days-of-yore memorabilia. The wide room held a deep window seat, a table set for two with champagne in a bucket, several sofas and chairs, and a huge, four poster bed.

 

Carlisle chuckled, watching Edward explore out of the corner of his eyes as he opened the suitcase to unpack. He was long in the habit of putting things in order first.

 

Edward had no such qualms. He came darting back into the room and took Carlisle by the hand. “Come on. You have to see this.”

 

“I did my research. I know what the suite looks like,” Carlisle said, but he let Edward pull him through the tiny anteroom into the bathroom.

 

Pictures couldn’t have done it justice. The bathroom was glorious. Well, the toilet was small and ugly, but the bathtub was one of those free standing numbers--an updated relic from the days when tubs were filled by hand.

 

Carlisle had hardly set foot in the room before Edward’s hands were at his pants. “Baby, what--”

 

“Carlisle, we’ve been travelling all damn day.” He furrowed his eyebrows. “Actually, with all the time changes, I’m not even sure if it’s the same day we left.” He let his hands travel up Carlisle’s belly, under his shirt, tickling him lightly. “Tell me a nice, long soak in the tub with your very hot, very naked new husband isn’t exactly what the doctor ordered.”

 

“I’ve been a doctor a long time,” Carlisle said, lifting his arms so Edward could pull his shirt off. “I have yet to prescribe anyone a bath with their spouse.”

 

“Yeah?” Edward squeezed his ass and pressed a kiss to his chin. “Well, you should try it first.”

 

Some minutes later, Carlisle could have sworn he was in heaven. He was in Scotland with his husband. Edward was happy and peaceful in his arms, his back against Carlisle’s chest, their lips brushing in the occasional lazy kiss as the steam curled around them.

 

Edward tilted his head, nuzzling Carlisle’s cheek. “So this is what happens when I let you plan a honeymoon, hmm? You take me to Scotland, birthplace of the tawse--don’t think that escaped my notice--put us up in a gothic manor that looks like there has to be some kind of dungeon somewhere. That bed alone. Jesus Christ, that bed was made for bondage. Very sturdy.”

 

Carlisle chuckled. “You have a one-track mind, pet. They also have castles here. And standing stones. And Lochs.”

 

“And men in kilts.”

 

“Ah, you’ve figured out my secret. I’m here for the men in kilts. It’s an unfortunate twist in timing that I had to bring you along--the old ball and chain.”

 

“It’s okay, babe. This works out for both of us. Men in kilts with Scottish accents are a freebie, right?”

 

Carlisle raised his hands to Edward’s nipples beneath the water and gave them a sharp squeeze, making his young husband gasp.

 

Edward craned his head back to catch Carlisle’s kiss. He moaned into his mouth as Carlisle’s hands began to wander. Edward’s fingers traced patterns to his kneecaps as Carlisle pressed and caressed. Pulling back, Carlisle ran the tip of his nose along Edward’s hairline, peppering the occasional kiss to the line of his chin.

 

Every time Carlisle’s wandering hands drifted down, down, Edward’s hips raised ever so slightly. “Eager, aren’t you, little boy?” Carlisle said into his ear. He tangled his fingers into the coarse nest of hair between Edward’s legs.

 

Edward whimpered. “For you?” he asked, breathless. “Always.”

 

Carlisle skimmed his fingertips along Edward’s cock. He clucked his tongue. “You’re beginning to make a mess, baby. You’re getting water all over the floor with all your wiggling.”

 

“You ever… Ahhh. You ever think about, about what other people. Oh, hell. What other people have done in this same room?” The splash of water against the edge of the bath, spilling against the tile floor, was getting wilder as Edward moved against Carlisle.

 

“You talk too much.” Carlisle took a firm hold of Edward’s cock and began to stroke him. As he did, he rubbed his own cock against the curve of Edward’s ass. They both threw their heads back, their words lost to more primitive grunts and groans.

 

Quite a while later, both men were gasping for breath. They weren’t in the tub anymore. They’d ended up bent over the bed, hands gripped tightly together above their heads, bodies coming together hard and fast as Carlisle fucked his beautiful boy right into the mattress.

 

Now, they were both spent several times over. Carlisle, collapsed with Edward pinned beneath him, tried with limited success to get himself to move. He wasn’t sure his limbs could hold him at that point. The room was a mess. They were both overheated and sticky, slick with sweat, among other things.

 

Carlisle groaned and pushed up off Edward. He crawled up the bed enough that he could lay down on his belly. Edward flopped down beside him, looking at Carlisle with a goofy, lovely smile on his face. “I sense this trip is going to cost us a lot in tips,” he said with a wicked grin.

~0~

Edward woke slowly to the most pleasant sensation. He was in a big, comfortable bed. The blankets were down around his waist, his bare back being warmed by the sunlight coming in through the window. His husband was stroking him gently from his head to the small of his back.

 

This--this was what bliss felt like.

 

He allowed himself a few moments to enjoy this tender touch before he shifted, turning his head to find Carlisle staring. Neither of them spoke right away. Edward lay his hand, palm up, in the limited space between them, and Carlisle twined their fingers together.

 

“What time is it?” Edward asked after a minute.

 

“Somewhere around noon.” Carlisle yawned. He rolled onto his back.

 

“We’re bad tourists.” Edward crawled across the small space over to Carlisle so he could rest his head on his chest. Just as he’d wished, Carlisle began to stroke his hair. “What’s the plan today?”

 

“I don’t have anything planned, actually. I thought we could play it by ear. What do you want to do?”

 

“Sex. Lots and lots of sex.”

 

Carlisle snorted. “That’s exactly what I brought you to Scotland for. This is a very expensive fuck.”

 

Edward raised his head. “I’m worth every penny.”

 

Carlisle’s answering smile was tender and indulgent. He ran the backs of his knuckles down Edward’s cheek. “Of course you are, baby boy, but still, we should see something uniquely Scottish.”

 

“We could bring one of the kilted guys in here to fuck.”

 

Rolling his eyes, Carlisle gave Edward’s ear a tug, and the younger man laughed. “Fine. Fine,” Edward said. “There’s a whole book series on how we should stay away from standing stones…”

 

“I’m not sure you’ve read that series. Have you seen Sam Heughan? Time travel back to eighteenth century Scotland wouldn’t be so bad if that was what I ended up with.” He whistled appreciatively.

 

Now it was Edward’s turn to smack at his chest. “Yeah, you go to eighteenth century Scotland and see what happens if you tried to take a husband. See how quick you’d end up extra crispy.”

 

Carlisle’s lips tugged down at the corners. “Good point.”

 

“Ah, that’s what you get for being okay with leaving me.” Edward pretended to pout.

 

“Sweetheart.” Carlisle leaned down and teased his lips until Edward kissed him back. “I assure you, time travel is entirely fictional.” He kissed him again. “However, I’d never stop trying to get back to you.”

 

“Even if Sam Heughan in a kilt wanted to fuck you?”

 

“Not even then.” Another kiss, and Carlisle grinned against his mouth. “But we’re not leaving here without investing in several kilts for you.”

 

“Ooo. You too.”

 

“Fair enough. Now. What do you want to see today?”

 

“Hmm. Castles? You said they have castles here. And history. Shall we go see the history?”

 

“Edinburgh Castle is here, as you might have guessed,” Carlisle said, rolling into a sitting position. “And it’s on top of an extinct volcano, so that’s neat.”

 

“Ooooh, neato,” Edward said, teasing. “Is that, like, totally groovy, baby?”

 

Carlisle pulled him backward so he was laying down, face up on his lap. He leaned down to press a kiss to his lips. “The seventies, Edward. I was born in the seventies not the sixties. I’m more a child of the eighties, you ass.”

 

Edward got up, and got out of bed. “Okay, my handsome prince. Take me to your castle in the clouds.”

~0~

Despite getting up late, they had more than enough time to tour the castle grounds thoroughly. It was a beautiful place, and Edward was happy to add to the first of their collection of photos as a married couple.

 

As they walked around old town, Edward twined their arms together and took his hand. “I have a question.”

 

“Imagine my surprise,” Carlisle said.

 

“Are you trying to starve me to death?” He rested his head on Carlisle’s shoulder, trusting him to keep them walking straight. “Is it because I’ve put on weight? You could have told me. I’ll do more push ups. Just feed me.”

 

“Where is this weight you’ve supposedly put on?” Carlisle pinched his side, making Edward cackle and push him away before he let himself be drawn back. “Stop whining, Edward. It’s unbecoming.”

 

“Feeeeed me.”

 

“Yes, little one. Daddy will feed you.” Carlisle rubbed his back and kissed his forehead as they walked. “But we have to be quick about it this time. We have somewhere to be.”

 

“I thought we were playing it by ear.”

 

“We are for the most part, but I do have a few surprises up my sleeve.”

 

“I should have known.” There was an excited bounce to his step as he let Carlisle pull him in the direction of a pub. “So what are we doing tonight?”

 

“That’s for me to know and you to find out.”

 

Edward clucked his tongue. “Aren’t you supposed to be the mature one in our relationship?”

~0~

When he saw where they were going, Edward laughed. “Oh my god. Really? What is this?”

 

Carlisle grinned. The sound of his husband’s laughter and the sight of his gorgeous smile always made him happy. “Of course. I see the word dungeon and think of you, it seems.”

 

The Edinburgh Dungeon was actually a live action show. Guests loaded into boats to watch one of a few different, scary, dungeon-themed shows enacted as they floated along. It looked like a fun time, and it was an excuse for Edward to start in surprise, curling into Carlisle’s arms for moral support and protection.

 

Well, Carlisle did his fair share of jumping. The show was riveting and caught him by surprise several times. Either way, they had a good time holding on to each other and laughing along with the rest of the audience.

 

“I know they played it off, but it occurs to me, I wouldn’t like being shackled in a real dungeon,” Edward said. He leaned in, his lips near Carlisle’s ear. “Not nearly as sexy as when you do it.”

 

“Yes, well. When I torture you, I’m not trying to kill you, baby boy.” Carlisle curled an arm around his side, pulling him closer. “As much as I like to hear you scream and beg, it’s much sexier when you’re still in one piece and breathing afterward.”

 

Edward looked to him and winked. “Been a close call a time or two.”

 

Carlisle was about to lean down to collect a kiss when a voice distracted them.

 

“Edward Masen. That can’t possibly be you, can it?”

 

They both looked up to see a good-looking man coming toward them, a broad grin on his face. Edward detached himself from Carlisle’s side, taking a step toward the man who was looking at him. “Benjamin?” he asked, incredulous.

  
Benjamin? As in Edward’s first Dom, Benjamin? Carlisle had to work to keep his automatic frown in check.

 

“Oh, my God. It is you.” Benjamin pulled Edward into a back-slapping hug, but he let him go quickly. “What the hell are you doing in Scotland?”

 

Edward put one arm around Carlisle’s waist and splayed his other hand across his chest in a possessive gesture. “Honeymoon. This is my husband, Dr. Carlisle Cullen. Carlisle, this is Benjamin Touma.”

 

Carlisle relaxed and smiled, any trace of ridiculous jealousy waved away. Edward had never introduced him as his husband before, and he sounded so proud to say it. Carlisle had to struggle not to smirk at Benjamin as though he’d won some kind of competition.  Somehow, he checked his smugness as he shook the other man’s hand with a firm grip. “Nice to put a face to the name.”

 

Benjamin offered him a genuine and charming grin. He stepped back to the side of the pretty young woman who’d been with him. “This is Tia, my best friend.” He looked to Edward. “You remember we’d just met around the time you and I parted ways.”

 

“I remember.” Edward smiled and shook Tia’s hand in greeting before curling it back around Carlisle’s waist.

 

“How funny to meet again across the world.” Benjamin chuckled. “What do you say we have a pint on it? Take in a little local culture and catch up?”

 

Edward and Carlisle looked at each other having a brief conversation with their eyes, each gauging the willingness of the other. Edward seemed eager, and Carlisle had no problem with the idea. “What did you have in mind?”

~0~

An hour later, they were all chatting like old friends.

 

Carlisle found he liked Benjamin. It was easy to see what attracted Edward to him. He was thirty-four, an age gap of about eight years. Slightly skeevy given that Edward was barely nineteen when they’d met, but it made sense for him. Benjamin made sense for him.

 

Given that Edward was perfectly attentive and physically affectionate, Carlisle could afford to be generous in his assessment of Benjamin. The man had been good to Edward. The first Dom, like the first of any kind of relationship, had the power to set the tone for every other interaction a sub had. It had taken Carlisle a lot of soul searching to figure out just how dangerous Aro had been. And then there were people like Esme’s first--a man who had decided for a naive and innocent girl that she wanted to be a sub and had told her she should like it when he beat and controlled her.

 

But Benjamin had been patient with Edward. He’d recognized the need in the younger man and guided him into their world with care and respect. Edward only ever spoke of the man with fondness. Their relationship had ended when Benjamin had to move away.

 

When Edward announced he had to take a piss, Tia said she would go with him. They stumbled off arm in arm, cackling like loons about which one of them would go in the other’s bathroom.

 

Benjamin tapped on his glass and looked over to Carlisle. “He’s happy. Marriage suits him. That’s interesting.”

 

Carlisle raised an eyebrow. “Interesting?”

 

Benjamin hummed. “Well, what nineteen-year-old kid even thinks about settling down anyway? When I knew him, he spoke disdainfully about marriage, which isn’t surprising given how his parents went about it. That relationship doesn’t look appealing at all.”

 

Carlisle huffed. “I can’t argue with that.”

 

Holding Carlisle’s gaze, Benjamin tapped his own wrist, indicating the place where Edward wore his cuff. “And you have all of him?” he asked, his tone unassuming.

 

“Yes,” Carlisle said, unable to keep a note of pride out of his voice. There were so few people with whom he and Edward could acknowledge all they were to each other. He had a handsome, brilliant husband, a man so worthy of admiration himself, and yet he put Carlisle on a pedestal.  He had a beautiful, giving sub. A man who had deemed him worthy of his trust in every sense of the word.

 

He was lucky, and so in love.

 

“That’s good. That’s beautiful, man.” Benjamin straightened up, a curious look on his face. “I’d often wondered… Well, perhaps I can ask you a personal question.”

 

Carlisle arched an eyebrow in invitation, waiting.

 

Benjamin didn’t speak right way. He was obviously choosing his words carefully. “Edward is such a natural submissive,” he said with a sigh of admiration. “The way his parents raised him was such a detriment to his nature. Do you know what I mean?”

 

Carlisle gave a bitter laugh, but he hesitated. He had a brief debate with himself--was he sharing things he had no business sharing--but decided it was a permissible topic. Edward’s biggest roadblock to full submission, to full release, was the control he maintained over his emotions. “You mean the way he thinks it’s a defect in his character to cry or seek affection?”

 

“Yes. Yes, exactly. So he still does that?”

 

A small smile played at the edge of Carlisle’s lips. “He’s better now,” he said simply.

 

Edward was learning to let go of his self-loathing at his displays of emotion. They’d had a number of powerful scenes at this point, one of which had left Edward shaking with the power of it, crying because he was so overwhelmed with the bliss of relinquishing every ounce of control he had. It had been an intense, aweing moment to witness.

 

“Good. That’s good.” Benjamin grinned, genuinely happy. “He’s special, that one. That was what I always hoped for him.” He downed the rest of his pint on it and shook his head ruefully. “I always thought it was ironic.”

 

“What’s that?”

 

“People who aren’t in the scene… You know, I hear it often that they think the reason we are the way we are is because of things like the way Edward was raised.”

 

Carlisle nodded. “Or worse, because of abuse.”

 

“Yes. In reality, that kind of bullshit affects us the same way it affects any other kind of relationship. It’s a roadblock, not a reason. It’s something we have to work around to get where we want to be.” He waved to get the waitress’s attention. “I’m glad for Edward, then.”

 

“I’m glad for Edward, too,” Carlisle said, watching the man in question from across the pub as he made his way back. When he was close enough, he pulled his husband down on his lap rather than letting him take his seat.

 

Edward grinned and wrapped his arms around Carlisle’s neck. He brushed the tips of their noses together. “Did you miss me?”

 

“Oh, of course.” Carlisle cupped his face in his hands, taking a moment to bask. He kissed him once, twice, three times and sighed, reminding himself they weren’t alone. He didn’t mind much, though. This beautiful man was his; body, heart, and soul. It was a gift, a treasure Carlisle didn’t think he would ever truly comprehend.

  
He played with Edward’s fingers as they spoke, twirling the ring around his finger that matched the one he wore, and reminded himself he had the rest of his life to try.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So many thanks to Packy, Nikki, Jess, MoH, songster, Eleanor… my docs… I love my docs so much, and you all make me better.
> 
> As for you out there in fanfic land… I love you too. I hope you’ve enjoyed our boys… I can tell you, I thought I’d NEVER want to write a sequel to any fic, but right now...DAMN I want to write a sequel.
> 
> Too bad I have no plot!
> 
> Ta for now.


End file.
